


Emison: Promises

by EmisonCP



Series: Emison [1]
Category: Pretty Little Liars, emison
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-06-06 08:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 61
Words: 127,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6747181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmisonCP/pseuds/EmisonCP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the ABC Family (now Freeform) show Pretty Little Liars.<br/>The girls have just found Ali and are on their way back from NY after killing A. Emily doesn't know how to deal with the return of her first love whilst Ali tries to make her understand she wasn't just practice. As they make sense of their feelings, can Emison get past the obstacles life sets?</p><p>Read to find out...</p><p>A/N This is not the type of story where Emison happen in like 3 chapters if that's what you're expecting... Sorry! And also the mature content comes in later in the story too! This story is completed and the chapters will be going up daily! It already has over 20k reads on Wattpad</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The wheels on the bus go round and round

Emily’s POV

She’s safe. She’s here. With us. With me. I can’t believe it. I don’t know how to act. She’s changed I can see it in her eyes, those beautiful deep blue eyes…  
Em! NO! Come on! You can’t go there. Remember how she treated you, remember how she shamed you.  
But she’s changed. Everything about her is different. Her tough mean bitch act seems to have been replaced by my Ali, the one behind closed doors, the one only I knew, the one that would only surface once in a blue moon.

We’re in the bus back to Rosewood from New York. Shana/A is dead… We’re safe for the moment. Hanna sits with her, they’ve been talking and crying for half an hour now. I hear sorry’s being tossed here and there in between them. She’s changed. Aria and Spencer are sitting together resting their heads on one another. I look at them. Aria is just staring into space. She’s still shocked by what’s just happened. Spencer is murmuring reassurance to her, assuring her it was the only way and the right thing to do. 

I look back over to her. She’s looking right at me. I offer a small smile, she smiles back, that Alison smile that only she has. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. Ah! God! I need to stop torturing myself, I need to stop thinking about her like that! But it’s her, it’s Ali… I can’t stop thinking about her, me, us.

Hanna and Ali hug and Hanna gets up. She taps Spencer’s shoulder, points at Ali and takes her place next to Aria. I just stare out the window not knowing what to think anymore.

 

Hanna’s POV

Ali and I sat together as soon as we got into the bus. 

‘’ I’m so sorry Hanna. I’m a bitch! I can’t believe you let me treat you like that when all you ever did was be admiring and kind to me.’’ Were these words truly coming out of her mouth? I tried to say something but couldn't so I just let her keep going.  
‘’I hate myself for what I did to you, to all of you. I’m so sorry I called you ‘Hefty Hanna’ and made fun of you. I’m so glad you came to get me. I’m so sorry. I’m such a bitch. I don’t deserve a friend like you. I’m sorry’’  
Tears are running down both our faces and I put my arm around her.  
‘’Ali… You were a bitch. But I’m looking at you now and I’m seeing Alison DiLaurentis 2.0.’’ She laughs ‘’ Yeah, who you used to be sucked, but you’re getting a second chance and I’ll be there for the whole ride. Besides, I’m glad you’re back, I need someone to go shopping for clothes with cause it’s not like Fork Earrings Aria, Buisness Smart Spencer and Sporty Emily are any help!!!’’ She lets out a little laugh and looks behind her. She’s looking at Emily, boy! them two are gonna have a pretty big talk… 

We keep talking for half an hour. I tell her all about Caleb. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good. When we’ve finished catching up, we hug for a long time. I know she’s looking back at Emily whilst we talk. I don’t know how Emily is copping with this but I know her well enough to know she wants be left alone.

‘’Hey, can you tell Spencer to come see me?’’ I nod, I know she wants to speak to all of us. I see the guilt in her eyes and feel the intensity of her emotions as she speaks. I like this new Ali.

I go towards Spencer. She’s holding on to Aria. Aria is shaking. I can’t stand seeing her like this. I let Spence know that Alison wants to see her. I sit where she was next to Aria and hug the small body beside me. I feel her trying to hold back the tears. She’s still struggling with the whole Dead Shana thing. I start saying everything and anything that will make her forget. I know she’s okay but I also know her heart is fragile at the moment and she just needs comfort.

Spencer’s POV

When Hanna got up I already knew that Ali was gonna want to talk to all of us. I wasn't surprised when she said Ali wanted to see me next. Emily was in her zone, you could see she was deep in thought and well we all knew them two would need the most time to prepare for whatever they had to say to one another. And well Aria, Aria had finally succumbed to the guilt she was trying to repress. It wasn’t her fault. I wish she could truly understand that.

I sit next to Alison.  
‘’Hey’’ I say  
‘’Spencer’’ we just stare at each other. Her previous tears had just dried up when we both just broke down into each others arms. ‘’I’m so sorry, Spencer. I was just so scared that I’d be alone if I didn't try to outsmart you that I thought putting you down and pushing you on the edge would be good. I’m so stupid. I’m so sorry.’’  
‘’Sh Sh shhh it’s alright Ali you’re here now, you’re safe, you’re alive and you’ve changed. I can’t believe I’m about to say this…’’ She looked at me quizzically  
‘’Hope doesn’t always breed eternal misery’’  
She stares at me for a bit ‘’What do you mean? Has Spencer Hastings just taken it to the next level by proving herself wrong?!’’ I let out a small chuckle.  
‘’We hoped for you to be alive. And you are and to me there is no misery in knowing your sister is alive.’’ She laughs a little and smiles.  
‘’You know we’re not really related we just happen to share a brother right?’’  
‘’Yeah but I like the idea of you and me being sisters, cause that’s kinda the relationship we have isn’t it?’’  
‘’Hating each other and trying to be better than the other but knowing deep down inside you’d do anything before you’d let anyone do anything to them? Yeah, sounds like us and sisterhood to me’’ We smiled and hugged. We stayed like that for a while. 

‘’So I know all about Haleb!!! Now let me know all about this Spoby thing Hanna was telling me about?’’  
‘’Haleb? Spoby? She actually gave all of us ship names?! Haha!!! That’s so typical of Hanna! You gotta love that girl!’’ We both look back at her and smile. She knows we’re talking about her. As we turn back around I see Ali’s eyes stop on Emily for a second. I wonder what’s gonna happen with them. I can’t imagine what Emily must be going through right now.

I tell her all about Toby, that first kiss at the motel, the time I thought he was part of the A team, the time I found him ‘dead’ in woods, all of it. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good. 

I turn around, Aria is standing up straight and talking to Hanna. She’s seems fine.  
‘’Do you want me to get Aria?’’ She nods as I get up but she grabs my arm.  
‘’I’m sorry sis! I love you!’’ I smile at her ‘’I love you too sis!’’  
I like this new Ali.

I go to Aria and Hanna.

 

Aria’s POV

It finally dawned on me. I killed someone. I’m a murderer. It doesn't matter if she deserved it or not. I took away someone’s life. Because of me someone has lost their daughter, their friend, their niece, their granddaughter, their everything… 

Spencer, then Hanna tried to make me feel better but they don’t get it! Because of me, Shana will never graduate, she’ll never get to go to college and pledge, Shana’s dad will never get to walk her down the aisle… And it’s all my fault…

Hanna sits and starts making jokes… I can’t believe her she always manages to shine in the darkest moments. Before I know it, I’m smiling and laughing with her. I guess she’s just trying to get me to forget about it. And it’s working. 

Whilst Alison and Spencer cry, talk, hug, talk and cry and hug some more, Hanna and I just look on. She let me knows what Ali told her.

‘’She’s changed, Aria. She’s not Queen Bee Alison. She’s just Ali. She’s become human’’ I laugh at that last bit. 

I look over to Em, sitting on her own looking through the window.  
‘’How do you think she’s dealing with this?’’  
She looks to where I’m looking. ‘’Honestly I have no clue… We know Ali was her first love and no one ever forgets that… I mean you and Ezra’’ I glare at her she knows that we aren't together anymore ‘’ right sorry, me and Caleb… Remember? When he worked for Mona when we first dated? you’ll do anything for you first love and forgive them everything and anything.’’’  
‘’But they’re different… No one knows what Ali really feels for Em’’ she cuts me off  
‘’I saw her looking at her earlier, I think I have a pretty good idea’’ I look at her in shock  
‘’You’re usually right about these kinda things but until I see it with my own eyes I won’t believe you’’  
‘’Bet you that they’ll be making out within a week?’’  
‘’Haha!!!’’ I look at her, she has a serious look on her face ‘’You’re kidding right?’’  
‘’ I never kid about winning money’’ I hesitate for a bit. Hanna tends to have an eye for these kind of things.  
‘’How much?’’  
‘’10 bucks’’  
‘’Fine, you're on!’’ We shake hands.

We start talking about New York and how next time we’ll actually go there for the city. And before I know it we’re talking about places we’d like to visit. It’s nice… Lately, a lot if not all our conversations were A or Ali related. 

Spencer comes to us.  
‘’Hey Aria, Ali wants to speak with you’’ She nods and I look behind her where Ali is giving me an encouraging smile.  
I get up and squeeze Hanna’s hand as she lets me go. Spencer takes my seat next to her. I walk over to Alison towards the front of the bus. I look at Emily as I walk there, she’s in the middle of the bus. She looks up to me. I’m worried about her. It must show on my face because she gives a reassuring smile. I know she’s not alright but I also know Ali and I need to talk things through. Em stares back out through her window and put her earphones in her ears. International sign for: Don’t disturb me! I look at Hanna. She needs to talk to someone before she speaks to Ali or she’ll end up saying something she’ll regret. And Emily doesn’t deal well with regret. Hanna sees me and I indicate to her to wait 20 mins. She gets the message and I walk over to Ali who’s still waiting for me.

‘’Ali, before you say anything. I know what you told Hanna and from what I saw you said something similar to Spence. And I forgive you.’’ She stares at me in shock. I keep going. ‘’You’ve been through a lot. Too much and I’m glad to know you’re still with us.’’ I just stare at her. Suddenly her arms are around me as she hugs me tightly. It takes me some time to react but I hug her back and it feels nice. She pulls away. 

‘’Aria, you haven’t changed a bit, still as loving and compassionate.’’ She smiles ‘’ But I still have to get off my chest what I wanna tell you.’’ Hanna was right, she’s changed I can see her sincerity in her eyes. ‘’ I hate myself for how I was 2 years ago… I wish I could go back and undo but I can’t but I can do this. I can try my best to make things better if not right. I will do right by you. I know how much trouble I caused in your family and how I drove you and your father apart. I know how I took advantage of how compassionate you are and I see you still have that great quality.’’ She looks towards Emily, she must’ve seen me look at her. ’’I’ve always admired you for that’’ She’s looking into my eyes now. ‘’ I hope I can make it up to you. You’ve all been through so much just for me.’’ Tears stream down my face and I pull her into a hug. We pull back and wipe our tears away. I catch her up on the news about me for the past 2 years. She says that even though she kept tabs on us she always wanted to hear us say them.  
So I talk, I tell her about Ezra, Noel, even that one kiss with Jason. She didn't seem surprised though, she says she saw the way he used to gawk at me. I keep going because I want to tell her everything.  
It’s never been like this before. She listens and she seems to genuinely care. She’s changed for the best. I’m loving this new Alison, she’s become… good.

A half hour later, we enter Rosewood. Ali and I have finished talking so I get up to get my things. Before I can walk away though she pulls me back down. I look at her confused.

‘’I’m so glad you girls never gave up on me even though I gave you plenty reasons to. I don’t know what I did to deserve friends like you but I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you that I promise.’’ Her honesty was so terribly honest I didn’t know what to make of it. I looked at her.

‘’ We did. We gave up, more than once. We accused you more times than I can count. But she never did.’’ I look at Emily but I know she knew who I meant. Han and Em were now talking. ‘’Whatever you say to her Ali, make sure you mean it 100% she deserves to know the truth about you and what she means to you.’’ She stared at the ground she knew what I meant.  
‘’ I know Aria, I know I hurt her the most and it kills m…’’  
‘’Ali! You need to tell her this. Not me.’’ And with that I get up and walk to the back of the bus with Spencer. I see Ali just stare out the window and think. The bus will stop in 5mins I gather my things.

 

Emily’s POV  
Ali is talking to Aria. I put my music on when Aria looked at me as she walked past. She knew what it meant. Out of the corner of my eye though I saw her point at me and behind. I dunno what she was going on about so I just let it go.

*30 mins later*  
*They wanna be loved, wanna be loved  
Come on it's simple enough  
They wanna be loved  
They wanna be loved, wanna be loved  
A little kiss and a hug  
They wanna be loved

Now everybody knows it don't always last  
But if I can't have it for long then I want it fast  
Better love for now then for never at all  
So baby if you dow-* (Wanna Be Loved - John Legend)

‘’What the hell?!’’ I turn to see Hanna holding my earphone and putting it in her ear. I look at where she used to sit with Spencer who’s reading a book.  
‘’Em you cannot be serious! This is like the worst time for you to be listening to this!’’  
‘’That’s why I’m listening to it’’ She bursts out laughing. ‘’What?! What is so funny Hanna?’’ I take my earphone out she does the same.  
‘’Your argument… Sorry… I’m meant to try and be supportive here’’ She takes a deep breath and puts her serious face on ‘’So Ali’s gonna be back… how you feeling about that?’’ I knew I would have to talk about it at some point. I look over at where Ali and Aria are in a tight embrace. I felt a pang of jealousy in my gut. If I’m gonna talk about this with anyone I’m glad it’s Hanna. She’s the first one who found out I was gay and she supported me to come out.  
‘’I dunno’’ I say frankly. ‘’ It’s Ali you know… I’m not gonna lie. I still love her but it’s Ali. That’s the problem. She’s hurt me so much before… I don’t know if I can take it again…’’ She wipes a tear from my cheek, I hadn't even noticed I was crying. ‘’ What do I do Hanna?’’ I rest my head on her shoulder, she puts her arm around me.  
‘’ You see what she tells you. Then you follow your heart because there’s no reason for you not to go after what you want. Even if there’s a million reasons why you should give her up, the heart wants what it wants.’’  
I laugh ‘’ Did you seriously just use a Selena Gomez lyric to try and make me feel better?’’ I raise my eyebrow  
‘’Maybe’’ She giggles.  
‘’ I guess you’re right. I just can’t take anymore hurt, Han.’’  
‘’I know, Em, I know.’’ We stay there for a while just leaning on each other. We talk every now and then but we don’t say much.

Ali and Aria look back towards us, I pretend I don’t see anything. We’re in Rosewood, we’ll be at the bus stop in 5 mins and Ali and I still haven’t talked. I guess my turn will eventually come, I just hope it’s soon. I need to know what she feels.


	2. Homeward bound

Alison’s POV  
We finally got off the bus. We all stared at each other.

‘’So what happens now?’’ Hanna said  
‘’I wanna go home. I know my mum did some bad things but I need to patch things up. I can’t deal with the police just yet. I need to see my parents. They need to know I’m OK.’’ They all nod their heads in agreement. I look at her. I haven’t had a chance to speak to her yet. I can’t bring myself to it. I’m still trying to figure out what she means to me. When I was away she was what kept me going. I though about her every day and I missed her so much. But I also know I treated her worse than worse and don’t deserve to even speak to her.   
‘’How we gonna get home?’’ I say  
‘’I live 5 mins from here we can walk there and take my car?’’ Emily offers  
She hadn’t spoken since we left. I nodded  
‘’Well then let’s go.’’

*5 mins later*  
We arrive at her house, the walk there is quiet. Emily and I are walking next to each other. Our hands brushed a couple of times and I couldn’t help but smile. This cannot be good. She’ll never have me, I can’t let myself fall for her.

As soon as she grabs the keys we get in the car.  
‘’I want you guys to be there when I see them’’ They don’t answer but I know they’ll come. I’m sitting in the passenger seat in front next to Emily. She smiles at me. My heart melts, her big brown eyes… Oh no!!! Please no!!! I’m falling for her!

I quickly try to recompose myself.

We’re at my house. I step out. I breathe. I feel the girls assemble around me, just like old times only this time I’ll be a good friend. I knock. It felt strange being here again. 

‘’Alison? Alison! My baby girl!!! It’s you!!!’’ My dad hugs me! I hug him and cry! We both stand there and then I see her, my mom.

‘’Ali? Sweetie?’’ she doesn't seem to believe her eyes.

‘’It’s me, Mom!’’ My dad turns around and grabs her, we have a group hug.  
It feels nice, I’m home. I’m really here. I can’t help but cry tears of relief and happiness. We stood there crying and hugging the love out each other for 5 mins.

‘’Girls!’’ I’d completely forgotten about them until my mom mentioned them!  
We pulled away from each other  
‘’Did you bring her here? Did you find her?’’   
They all nod.  
‘’Thank you! Thank you!!!’’  
‘’I’m sorry baby girl!’’ My mum whispers as a memory of that night comes back to me. I hold her tight.

‘’We just wanted to make sure she got home to you. We’ll leave you three alone. I think you have a lot to catch up on!’’ Spencer says, she has tears in her eyes.

I hug Aria, Spencer and Hanna individually and thank them again for everything. It’s Emily’s turn, the girls step back. I hug her tight.

‘’Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about you! I just keep the best for last! ‘’ I look at her beautiful brown eyes before saying goodbye once more to everyone.

 

Emily’s POV

‘’Don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about you! I just keep the best for last!’’ 

I stared at her in shock. I felt myself blush as she pierced through my eyes. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. She said goodbye and then went in with her parents.

Hanna spoke up.

‘’ Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m dying to live an A free life’’ Spencer and I stared at her, our mouths open. ‘’What? Oh come on!!! You guys know what I mean! I’m sorry Aria, the pun was not intended!’’

‘’It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, Han…’’ says Aria There was long silence as we all just stood there on her porch. ‘’So where do we go from here?’’ Aria finally said

‘’ Well I do live right there, I guess we could just stay there for the night… If Ali wants to see us we’ll all be in one place?’’ Spencer offers. We all agree, besides I think neither of us want to be alone tonight. We walk to her house and go straight to her room. She tosses us a t-shirt and shorts. 

‘’I call the floor!’’ Hanna and her obsession with the floor. I never got it. We all laugh a little. Hanna always says these kinda things at the most weird moments. But we’re always glad she’s said whatever she has.

Aria and Spencer share Spencer’s bed and I decide to join Hanna on the floor. I feel her eyes on me as the lights are turned off.  
‘’Em, do you wanna talk about it?’’ she whispers 30 mins later when the others have fallen asleep.

 

Hanna’s POV

Em turns to face me. I felt bad, she and Ali didn’t get to talk and I could see the hurt, the anxiety and the lost in Em’s eyes.

‘’What do I do, Hanna? We haven’t spoken yet and I don’t know how long I can go like this…’’

‘’Like what?’’

‘’Loving the Alison DiLaurentis and having her give me mixed signals and then ugh…’’ Her voice was trembling ‘’Just seeing her.. All my feelings came rushing back, I feel like I;m 15 again Han… But I’m scared. I love her but I don’t want to. What if she just pushes me away again? What if I end up somehow back where I began? What am I gonna do Hanna?!’’

‘’It’s okay’’ I whisper as a tear rolls down her cheek. I pull her in close and hug her.

‘’Thanks Hanna Banana’’

‘’I haven’t done anything. Ali will come to you as soon as she can… She cares about you too much. I saw it when she hugged you. She’ll come to you don’t worry.’’ I keep her in my arms as her breathing steadies and she falls asleep. Before I know it, I’m out too.

 

Emily’s POV

It’s been 2 days since Alison’s return. And nothing. I get it. The first day she obviously had to go to the police and yesterday she just spent time with her family, which I get, I do!!! But they aren't the only ones who haven’t been able to talk to her in 2 years. She’s talked to everyone but me!!! I’m getting frustrated now!!! That’s it. I’m getting answers now!

I rush down the stairs and am about to head out to see her when my mom calls me. Great… As always perfect timing.

‘’Yeah what is it Mom?’’  
‘’The DiLaurentis invited us to dinner tonight to.. to umm celebrate Alison’s safe return’’

I stop dead in my tracks. I guess I’m going to wait till tonight, besides I need to prepare what I’m gonna tell her. The drive to her house would not have given me enough time to figure out any of it. I start to go back upstairs before my mom comes my way.

‘’Weren’t you going somewhere sweetie?’’ she asked 

‘’ No, well yes, but I’ll take care of it later.’’ Which was true I am planning on it.

As I close my bedroom door I start to think of what I should tell her and start to mentally prepare a small speech in my head.

 

Alison’s POV

I’m lying on my bed. Smiling like a fool.

This is it. I hope. Tonight when all the girls are here with their families, I’m gonna pull Emily aside. I’m gonna tell her I never stopped thinking about her, that she’s the reason why I never gave in to A. I’m going to tell her I love her. What if she’s moved on? What if she no longer cares? Suddenly an idea pops up into my head.  
I get my phone out and send a group chat to the girls

AD: Hey girls! Sleepover after dinner tonight? :)

At least like that Em will have time to think about it and well I want to spend time with all of them. I still have some catching up to do on them and everything else in Rosewood.

My phone buzzed. 

AM: Sure, do you want us to bring anything?

HM: Booze!!! I’ll take care of booze!

SH: Han… Our parents will be there and so will hers I’m not sure that will work. And yeah count me in!

AD: Haha! Glad to know you’re still a party animal Hanna! XD

HM: Always ;p

AM: Em? We know you've seen your messages… 

EF: Yeah sorry… um… I was just talking to my mum. Yeah I’ll be there, so do we bring anything or not?

AD: Just your usual incredible supportive selves :* See you tonight can’t wait girls!!!!

 

It’d been too long since I was going to be able to relax once and for all with my friends, my family and the person I love more than anything in the world. I felt myself blush. I need to calm down, I can’t get my hopes up. I can’t help it though. After tonight I could end up the happiest person alive or the loneliest…  
Woah! Just cause I told myself not to be hopeful don’t mean I should channel my inner emo! 

I look at my alarm clock on my bedside. 5:52. I have an hour and a half before they get here I guess I should start getting ready. I know I’m going to need time. I really need to impress Emily tonight. Make her realise I did all this for her. I already know what I’m gonna wear, there’s one outfit that I know will get her attention and right now I need all the help I can. I need to curl my hair too! I know she loves it when it’s like that!


	3. Love Me Again

Emily’s POV

I threw on a pair of ripped black jeans, my white tank top and white high tops and wrap my red checkered flannel around my waist. I check the weather I’m gonna need my jacket. I just grab my leather jacket and my bag for the night and meet my parents downstairs.

On the drive there I couldn’t tell if I was more excited or scared… I’d been preparing my speech all day. Although the sleepover would make it weird after I tell her everything. She needed to know. I mean come on! She talked to everyone and not even a text or a phone call to tell me. I would have been fine with just ‘’I’m sorry’’ text. Ok, maybe not, but its better than this unforgivable silence. I hated being mad at her, I hated loving her. After tonight, I hope Alison will be out of my system, out of my head, out of my heart for sure. I couldn’t deal with the worry, the anxiety and the fear anymore. 

I stand on her porch, behind my parents as my dad knocks. My mum insisted that I be the one to hand over the flowers. I just hope Ali doesn’t open the door. 

‘’Mr and Mrs Fields!!! I’m so glad to see you’’ my heart dropped in my stomach. I didn’t even need to look up.

‘’Hey Em!’’ I looked up she was smiling her perfect Alison DiLaurentis smile… Ugh… this is gonna be so difficult… My eyes fall to what she’s wearing… Oh no! She’s done this on purpose come on!!! She’s wearing that blue blot printed zipper dress and her cream heels… Oh this is not good!

‘’Um.. Um… Hey Ali!’’ we hugged and I could smell her vanilla scent in her perfectly curled blond lock! Damn it! Come on Em!!! Keep it together! I really hate the fact that I love the way she makes me feel inside. 

I walked inside all the girls were already there. I said Hi to each of them. When I approached Hanna, she whispered ‘’You okay?’’ I just gave her a small nod I don’t need anyone knowing what’s gonna happen tonight. I need to do this by myself. Prove to her that I really don’t need anyone to guide me. Prove to her that I am now my own person. That I’m free from her. I think.

During the whole dinner, Ali kept glancing at me nervously. Could she tell something was up? Either way, this can’t be good…

 

Alison’s POV (Listen to Love me Again-John Newman)

I couldn’t stop staring at her. Even in the simplest of clothes she still was the best looking one in the room. I bit my lip, I need to control myself. Shit, she’s noticed. I quickly look down, hopefully it can pass for a quick glance more than hardcore eyeing. Goddamn it, Em! You have to see what you do to me!

We’d just finished having dinner, when I saw her step outside on her own. The girls had seen it, we looked at each other, they know I needed to talk to her they just didn't know what I was gonna say. They gave me the ‘go-ahead’ nod. I mouthed a ‘Thank you’ and followed my light into the dark.

This is it. I love you Emily Catherine Fields.

‘’ Hey Em…’’

‘’Oh Ali… I didn’t know you’d followed me here’’

‘’Sorry… I just I have something I really need to get off my chest’’

‘’Me too’’

‘’Do you mind if I go first?’’ I asked. I was too afraid of what she would say if she didn't know what I wanted after this conversation, so this was most likely my only shot.

‘’Actually…’’ 

I cut her off ‘’I love you Emily Fields’’ I blurted, she opened her mouth but closed it almost immediately after. ‘’I love you. Remember when I saved you from the barn? I told you you were my favourite and also the hardest to leave behind. I missed you so much Em! The way you stood by my side no matter what, the way your smile melted my walls, the way your voice sounded like a caress… I hated seeing A playing with you!!! But anytime I’d get too close, I would almost lose you! I’m more sorry than I could ever say! I hate myself for the way I made you believe it was all one-sided! I was so obsessed with the reputation and other people’s opinion! I was willing to cover my heart out on my sleeve and hurt the feelings of the person that cared the most about me and who meant the whole world to me!’’ Tears were pouring down my face but I wasn’t finished I was hardly halfway through…

‘’Ali! Stop! I can’t do this! I’ve had 3 girlfriends since you! All of them have been nothing but sweet to me! One of them pretty much died for you! And one of them even came out for me and stood up to her whole family! You don’t have an excuse Ali! Did you know that I cried myself asleep for months when you disappeared?! Did you know that when they found your body I blamed myself and didn't sleep for days?! I blamed myself Ali because I thought it was my job to protect you and because I love… I loved you! I couldn't think straight! And then because of you, we were threatened, Hanna almost died too many times so did I, Spencer was sent to Radley and Aria’s family broke apart more than once! I’m glad you’re back Ali and that you’re safe but I don’t want you back in my heart! You killed me Alison DiLaurentis! You made me ashamed of who I was! You made feel lost and alone at a time where I needed you the most!’’ She was so angry her eyes had flared up and all her muscles were tensing up. I could see it in her movements. She meant everything. I sunk to the ground next to my smashed heart she had just tossed.

‘’Please Em! I’m sorry…’’ I barely managed to spit it out

‘’I don’t want to hear it!’’

‘’Please don’t shut me out!’’

‘’Just give me time! I can’t deal with this, with you right now!’’ and with that she stormed back inside, slamming the door behind her.

 

Emily’s POV

I did it! I was leaning on the door now. Why did feel so terrible though… I could hear her sob uncontrollably… My heart broke but I needed to move on, no matter what she had just said. I know she’s changed but I couldn't go down that road again. I needed to jump off the Ali train.

I close my eyes and breathe. I did what I to do.

I open my eyes to three others pairs staring at me in shock.  
‘’What? Do I have something on my face?!?!?!’’ What’s up with them?!

‘’Yeah I think it’s called bitchiness!’’ Aria practically screamed in my face

‘’Aria, calm down. Em though seriously what were you thinking?’’ It wasn't often that Spencer was the calm one

‘’Wait! You guys were listening in?’’ I asked in disbelief, still in awe at what Aria had told me

‘’Yeah… We heard ‘I love you’ and well we were all rooting for you guys so we got excited. Seems like we spoke to soon though..’’ Hanna couldn't contain her disappointment anymore.

‘’Guys.. you just don’t get it…’’ Hanna cut me off

‘’EM! We get it! We were there with you when she ‘died’! We were there when she came back! We all saw how she looked at you! We even talked to you about it and how the love was more than visible between you two! She changed! She changed into the person you always saw her as, she finally openly reveals her heart and you give her every reason to put her walls back up!!!! Are you stupid?!’’

‘’Han… Keep it down! I hate to admit this but Blondie spoke the truth…’’ Spencer intervened before Hanna went too far

‘’Guys… Wait. Do you hear anything?’’ We all stared at Aria not understanding what she meant.

Shit. I open the door. The back porch was silent and empty. Crap crap crap!!!

‘’Well done Em! Now she ran away again!!!’’ Hanna yelled

‘’Shit! Where is she?’’ Spencer’s brain was already working 

Then it hit me. Of course, she’d go there. I’d been there so many times too.

‘’I know where she is! You stay here and don’t tell the parents anything! If they ask where we are tell them we just went for a walk because we wanted to talk! I’m going after her!’’

‘’No! You’ve already done enough damage! You’re staying here!’’

‘’NO! You listen to me Hanna Marin: I am going to find Ali and bring her back. It’s my fault this happened and there are still some things we need to talk about.’’ And with that I ran after my Alison.


	4. I'll be there for you

Alison’s POV (listen to Maps-Maroon 5)

I ran as fast as I could! I needed to get away from there, from her. Is this how I made her feel? Is this the misery I put her through?

If it is then I get it. I’m an idiot. I’m a bitch. I don’t even know why they bothered. Why did they become friends with me? Why did they come after me?

I stopped when I recognised where I was. The Kissing Rock. Our spot. I went to where we had once sprayed our initials in a heart. I kneeled down it was still there after all these years. I felt tears fall down. 

How could I be so stupid? Seriously Alison what the hell was going on in your mind?  
You had the most perfect girl in the world and you made her feel like the worst. Why? What the hell?

‘’I love you Emily Catherine Fields!’’ I screamed, this felt good. ‘’I’m an idiot for ever making you feel like you meant nothing. The truth is you mean everything, always have, always will. You were the only one who truly got me, who saw me for who I was and not that bitchy Queen B I made myself look like. But why? I never understood how you could love me with all the fucked up shit I did to you and even to other people! You loved me so much I loved you, I LOVE YOU so bloody much! Why did I do this to you, to us? There’s no way you’ll let me back in your heart! But I love you! You’re my happy ending! I wished I’d just realised before it was too late for it to be too late.’’   
I paused. By now, the tears were gushing down my face and I did nothing to try and stop them. I didn’t even bother to wipe them away. What was the point?

‘’How messed up is this though right!?!?! I finally find the perfect girl, who felt the same at one point and then when I’ve changed when I’ve become the person she always knew I was, she walks away!!! Why did I say anything? Why didn’t I just let her speak? Why did I have to embarrass myself like that! I’m so fucking stupid! Why the hell didn't anyone stop me before?! I should’ve died that night! Everything would have been so much easier!!! They would’ve all moved on by now! Their lives wouldn’t be so full of crap, my crap! Why did no one stop me from ruining their lives?! Why the hell was I such a fucking bitch! UGH!I hate myself!!!!FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!’’

A branch snapped.

 

Emily’s POV

 

‘’Ali?’’ I whispered. She was in such a state I couldn't even tell it was her. Please no… I can’t be the reason for this. I know those kind of tears, I’ve lived them far too often.

‘’How long have you been standing there?’’ Her voice was harsh, her eyes cold. Ali pre-fake-death was standing there. No… The girls were right I pushed it, I went too bloody far.

‘’Not long. I just heard you scream and thought something bad had happened’’

‘’Something bad did happen’’ Her lips quivered… ooooof… She returned back to her new self ‘’ But I don’t want to talk about it.’’

‘’Ali… I’m sorry’’ She cut me off immediately

‘’You’re kidding right?’’ I was confused why would I be kidding. ‘’You can’t be apologising to me after all the shit you went through because of me, for me’’ She said with a hesitant smile. God, she’s beautiful. No I can’t, no matter what she said or says. You need to move on, you need to be you. You need to be your own Emily. Not her’s, like you’ve been since 8th grade. Remember what you just told her Em. That’s what you need to hold on to.

‘’Just let me finish Ali. I meant what I said back on the porch.’’ Hurt covered her face and she the tears that were on the verge of stopping became Niagara Falls in seconds. ‘’Hey wait! Hear me out!’’ I stepped closer to her we were now a mere feet from one another. ‘’I meant what I said. As the girl who was once madly in love with you. But listen to what I’m gonna say now, as a friend. 2 years ago I lost my best friend. The only one who knew the real me 100%’’ I lifted her face so her eyes were looking into mine. They were so red and puffy and I could see the pain behind her eyes. It took everything in me in that moment to not kiss her, to not kiss that pain away. I quickly put my hand off her chin, just touching her gave me butterflies. ‘’Then a couple months ago I found out she was alive’’ I smiled a bit, remembering when I saw Ali again for the first time and she ran away because Spencer had appeared. ‘’And it was the greatest thing. And then a couple nights ago. We found her. All of the best friends were reunited once again. But something had changed. Their fearless leader had become their loving caring leader. We all realised that night you weren’t HBIC but just Ali. Our Ali. And although, we were all mad at you for what you had done. We loved you more for what you had become. Ali, I may not feel the same way about you than I used too’’ lie I told myself, ‘’but that doesn't mean I don’t care about you. You’re my best friend Alison. And that won’t ever change.’’ I pulled her in for a hug, I felt her stiffen under my touch but then relax into it. She put her head in my shoulder and we stayed like that for ten minutes or so.

‘’Thank you and I’m sorry’’ I hear her whisper

‘’Don’t ever say you’re sorry to me again, ok?’’ I say as i pull away to look into her eyes.

‘’I won’t promise anything but I’ll give it a go, Bestie.’’ She smiled her beautiful trademark Ali smile.

‘’Bestie’’ I smiled back ‘’Come on we should head back, I’ll text Aria, let her know we’re on our way back. They’re probably worried sick.’’

‘’Okay let’s go’’ I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as we walked back to her house.


	5. Stay With Me

Spencer’s POV

Where are they?! They’ve been gone for an hour! We weren’t gonna be able to hold the parents back much longer. We were all in the living room sitting around nervously not making much conversation. The one person we wanted to talk to was god knows where! A phone beeped.

‘’It’s me!’’ Aria chirped ‘’ It’s Em! They’re 5 mins away.’’ 

A general feeling of relief went through the room. The girls and I went to the front porch to wait for them. The parents were inside making drinks for everyone.

We saw them coming and ran up to them. Both their eyes were red but Ali seemed to have been painted red and then magnified. Emily took her arm away from Ali. That’s weird.

‘’So where are we standing girls?’’ I asked hesitantly looking at Emily, looking at a broken Alison DiLaurentis was just something I couldn’t see yet.

‘’Euh, Spence, we’re in front of Ali’s house! Duh!’’

‘’That’s not what she meant Hanna!’’

‘’We are five best friends who have been reunited after a long absence and I’m glad I get to call you my best friends.’’ Ali said in a sweet voice as she smiled up at us. Oh… so there in that stage. The stage where you pretend it’s all good because no matter what you’ll still be friends. Well this going to be an interesting night.

‘’Let’s have this sleepover then!’’ Ali said excitedly. Maybe this was the best thing for them. For the moment. I don’t know about in a month. But whilst Ali is settling back into her Rosewood life she’ll need a minimum of peace and calm. And a relationship with Em would probably not start like that giving their extremely rocky past.

We all headed back inside. Ali was bombarded with questions by her parents about where they went, how come they took so long. She answered all with poise. Once they had been reassured enough we all say goodnight to our parents and walked them out the door.

‘’Ok girls, same rules apply. No alcohol. No sneaking off. No funny business. And don’t make too much noise. We clear?’’

‘’Yes Mr DiLaurentis!’’ we answered in unison

‘’Goodnight girls!’’ Mr and Mrs D told us

‘’Night!’’ we said as we all filed into Ali’s room with our bags for the night.

 

Hanna’s POV

I went in my bag and pulled out my essential sleepover necessity.

‘’Who’s ready to party?’’ I say rising an eyebrow

‘’Hanna, you can’t be serious. Why did you bring tequila? Mr D clearly said no alcohol!’’ Aria couldn’t handle her alcohol that was the main reason and probably only reason for not being okay with this.

‘’When has this stopped us before? Come on, we don’t even have to drink that much! If you want I can hand you the bottle and you can stop us when it gets too much? Okay’’ I put the bottle in front of me reluctantly. She grabs it before I change my mind.

‘’In that case’’ Em grabs a huge pack of chips and cookies out her bag. ‘’Just like old times right?’’ She smiled. I looked at Ali who was next to me she was basically humping her with her eyes. I elbowed her lightly. She turned to me with a confused look. I look at Emily. ‘’Thanks’’ she mouthes. I know they love each other but I also get Emily needs to trust her more than she would a friend again. It’s been a while so I guess they can wait a couple more weeks right?

‘’Wait!’’ Spencer leaned down ‘’Did someone say trashy magazines with super duper cheesy quizzes?’’ She starts reading ‘’ Are you a real Swiftie? What member of One Direction should you date? Is your best friend secretly in love with y…? Uh hmm.’’ She stopped, well this was awkward. Ali was blushing like crazy and Em was staring at the ground.

‘’Don’t worry girls! I brought my camera as usual!!!’’ Aria interrupted the uncomfortable atmosphere

‘’Well then! What are we waiting for?’’ Ali says as she turns on the music and ‘’Love’’ by American Authors and we all sang our hearts out (you can listen to it if you prefer)

Remember when we were lost at sea?   
We would look at the bright night sky  
Thinking of, what we could be  
What we could be  
How to spend our lives

We stared at each other huge smiles appearing on our faces. Knowing exactly this was us! 

Remember when we had nothing left?  
We were strung out in the cold  
Holding on, trying to save our breath  
Trying to save our breath  
We would not let go  
Whoa  
Through the good, through the bad and ugly

Ali pointed at us then and mouthed sorry as we all ran up to her and gave her a huge hug.

Whoa  
We'll conquer anything

As the chorus came on, we parted and started singing louder, dancing around with each other. I dance with Emily thrashing our arms everywhere.

'Cause one day we're gonna come back  
And laugh at it all  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
One day we're gonna come back  
And relive those thoughts  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
With love, love

 

Remember down in the forest heart  
We were lost, losing hope and faith  
We put our trust in counting stars  
We were counting stars  
Trying to find our way

Remember up on the mountain top  
Looking out on the rocks below  
Thanking God, will we never stop  
We will never stop  
No we won't let go

Now Aria, Spencer and I were dancing. Ali and Em were laughing getting close. We didn't dare interrupt them.

'Cause one day we're gonna come back  
And laugh at it all  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
One day we're gonna come back  
And relive those thoughts  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
(Love, love)

The love between them was all too clear as they danced closer and hugged, swaying to the rhythm.

Like a scene from the past  
Where we look back and laugh  
With love, love  
A thought like a flash  
Black and white, hope it lasts  
With love, love  
Em broke away, worry across her face. Ali confused. Emily pointed at us and we ran to them dancing to the chorus all over the room. It felt great. I haven’t been this happy in a while.

Like a scene from the past  
Where we look back and laugh  
With love, love  
A thought like a flash  
Black and white, hope it lasts  
With love

'Cause one day we're gonna come back  
And laugh at it all  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
One day we're gonna come back  
And relive those thoughts  
One day we'll look at the past  
With love, love  
(Love, love)

With love, love

 

 

Aria’s POV

As the song stopped we all laughed for no reason. When all of a sudden the door opened.

‘’Girls I didn’t interrupt but that’s the only song okay? I get this is really important and you’re all so happy but keep it down yeah.’’

‘’Okay, sorry Dad! We got caught up in the moment’’ Ali said as she ran up to hug him. Hanna was right next to them! I looked at her hand the bottle had suddenly disappeared. I looked at her. She put her finger to her lips and winked. That girl is full of surprises I swear. 

Ali’s dad left and we all star at each other and burst out laughing again! It felt so good to just be teenage girls again! 

After that we spent the whole night talking like the old days. Only Ali didn’t make any mean comments, she didn’t make fun of us and she even laughed when she was being made fun of rather than exploding. It was great. I loved this new Ali. I guess this is what Em saw in her along. In that case though, why would she not let her back in her life. I mean Ali was clearly head over heels, drowning in her love for Emily. It was adorable how she kept stealing glances at Emily and how her smile just got brighter everytime. I’m proud of who she’s become, I know we all are.

‘’Girls, what time is it?’’ Hanna suddenly said yawning, the empty bottle in her hand.

Spencer got her phone out. ‘’3 AM’’

‘’Wow… No wonder I’m hungry!’’ Hanna held her stomach

‘’You can’t be serious, Han? How can you be hungry? I’m still full from dinner! And you ate like 3/4 of the cookies!’’ Em piped up she was falling on her back, rolling on the floor laughing.

‘’Food and me is a love story like no other! I don’t expect any of you to understand!’’ 

‘’I’ll go get you something from the kitchen. Just tell me what you want.’’ Ali offered

‘’Leftover from dinner?’’ Hanna begged, her eyes had gotten all big.  
‘’Haha! Sure, fine. Girls? ‘’

We all shook our heads no.

‘’OK, I’ll be back in a bit.’’ Ali walked out the door. We all turned to Em. She looked right back at us.

 

 

 

Emily’s POV

What now?

‘’Ok you seriously have to stop just staring at me like that and actually tell me what’s going on’’

‘’Well… um… Is you and Ali a sensitive subject?’’

‘’No, it’s not Aria. We agreed to be friends. That it’s what was best.’’

‘’So you don’t remember what you told me when she came back and what she told you just a couple hours ago or the dance party you two had going on or what?’’

‘’No Hanna. I am very aware of what I said but it just wouldn’t be wise. That’s why I pulled away. I don’t want to lead her on or myself for that matter. I meant what I told her on the porch’’ I half-lied annoyed. I mean come on, they know me well enough by now to know I don’t just switch my emotions off like that.

‘’Woah! Hold up! What did you tell her?’’ Spencer pointed at Hanna seemingly disappointed that I’d shared something with Hanna only.

Hanna looked at me, waiting for me to answer. ‘’Ok, if you’re not gonna say I will Emily!’’

‘’Ugh! Fine.’’ I can’t believe I was about to say these words out loud for them to hear. ‘’I love Alison. I didn’t tell anyone and especially not her. There’s a reason for what I said.’’

‘’There better well damn be! I mean you love each other a lot so the reason will have to be damn valid!’’ Aria was small but wow she had voice when she was emotional.

‘’I didn’t tell her because I can’t be the Emily I was before. Have you guys noticed that when I got over Ali, I did things for myself and not others? That I wasn’t ashamed of who I was. I don’t want to go down that path again. But yes I told Hanna, I still love Ali. After all these years, I still feel butterflies but I want to be me. I love her, but I won’t let myself. Even if that means I get back with Paige to get over her.’’

 

Alison’s POV

I was climbing up the steps when I hear Emily talking. I pressed myself next to the door, listening in. Her voice was like velvet.

‘’I don’t want to go down that path again. But yes I told Hanna, I still love Ali. After all these years, I still feel butterflies but I want to be me. I love her, but I won’t let myself. Even if that means I get back with Paige to get over her.’’

My heart broke all over again. I pushed my true love so far she’d rather get back with her ex who tried to drown her and who put all our lives at risk than be with me or even just be single. Tears were threatening their way out.

‘’Emily! You know there is such a thing as being single right?!’’ that was Spencer ‘’You understand you don’t need to always be dating someone. I swear you've dated more people than all of us. Think it through. Think of how much it would hurt Ali!’’ Wow… She’s really protecting me like a sister. Spencer is so kind, I feel even more ashamed of myself for how I treated her right now.

‘’Are you calling me a slut, Spencer?’’

‘’No that’s not what she meant. Just think about it and let Ali settle before you start dating someone else. Let her get used to life again please Em, think this through.’’ I don’t know how but Aria’s voiced soothed me. It was hushed and calm. I don’t know how she could transfer from angry to poised in seconds. It was truly incredible.

‘’Fine. I’ll wait. Not to think about it. But to allow her time.’’ There was a silence and after wiping the small amount of tears that had managed to escape I went back to the end of the corridor and made it clear I was coming.

‘’Hey. Can one of you open the door please?’’ I said as I reached the door

 

Hanna’s POV

‘’Yes! Finally food!’’ I tried to lighten up the mood so that Ali didn’t think anything was up. The girls caught on and faked a laugh. Guess it’ll have to do

‘’So what did I miss?’’ she said raising an eyebrow and smiling. I just realised her eyes were a little red. She’d cried. Oh no… Please tell me she didn’t hear. No, I doubt it. She was probably still just crying over being back or over what had happened with Emily earlier. Yeah, that’s probably it.

‘’Nothing. We were just saying how glad we are that everything is how it’s meant to be and how we’re all really proud of you.’’ Emily answered quickly with a small smile. Knowing her she was probably feeling guilty and would for the next couple of days or so. 

I was genuinely looking forward to Ali and Em being together after I realised Ali loved her. I thought it was gonna happen. Nothing would get in the way. I thought Emily loved her too much to be able to think clearly enough. But she can’t be thinking clearly if she’s willing to be with Paige again. I mean don’t get me wrong the girl’s really grown on me, she’s nice and all. But she did turn Ali in, knowing how much it would hurt Emily but more importantly Em’s never looked at her the same way as Ali. Yeah, she did love her but she wasn't in love with her. Ali is the only girl out of all Em’s been with that has the power to make her blush just by saying her name. Say what you want, I may be blond but I’m not blind! I just think Em needs to realise it. That’s why I have a plan.

‘’Girls! I think I left my bracelet downstairs! Aria, Spencer do you mind helping me find it please. You guys should just set up the beds! I call floor!’’ I say as I bring the two others with me

‘’Ok what was that?’’ Spencer questions me

‘’Em needs to remember how Ali makes her feel so we’re gonna leave for 5 mins. Since the talk they haven’t been alone. And now might just be the best time. We’ve just spent 5 hours talking about our friendship and reminiscing.’’

‘’Hold on! You know how to use ‘reminiscing’?’’ Spencer seemed shocked, I looked at her angry ‘’Sorry, besides the point. But ok, yeah, fair enough. I understand where you’re coming from, but we need to respect Emily’s choice. As much as I want Emily and Ali to be together or at least stop Em from getting back together with Paige, I don’t want to force anything.’’

‘’yeah I’m with Spence on this one. Sorry, Han!’’ Aria said

‘’Fine! But we can’t go back in now it would just look weird! Come on let’s go downstairs for a bit. I need to put these away anyways.’’ I say looking down at the plate of leftovers in my hand, although there wasn’t much left.

We headed down the steps and I put everything away and then we started talking about what school will be like in a week’s time when Ali will be coming back. The principal didn't want her back yet because he wanted time for the students to realise that she was back and get used to the idea that she would be walking through those halls again after two years of being dead.

 

Spencer’s POV

I agree with Hanna. Em and Ali should be together. That’s clearly what they want. But if Emily isn’t ready then I don’t want to push it. I’ve already upset her too many times on the subject of Ali. Although, the fact that she brought up Paige was a definite shocker. I mean yeah I like the girl, she protected Em and they were cute together, but I’m always gonna pick my sister over someone else. Yeah ok, we’re not blood related, but what we said on the bus is true. Ali has a different kind of relationship with each of us. I’m her sister. Hanna’s her twin friend. Aria’s her protégée for some reason. And well Emily is her love.

We’d been sitting around for 5 mins so we decided to head back up.

We walk in on the girls making the final bed, laughing about something.

‘’What’s so funny?’’ I wondered

‘’Em and I were just laughing at the names in Great Expectations.’’

‘’You know: Pip, Uncle Pumblechuck, Mr Wopsle’’ Em grinned

‘’They all sound like stuffed animals!’’ Ali laughed looking at Em. I could tell there was something more to this Great Expectations story than just the names.

‘’Why were you speaking of a book?’’ Hanna asked confused

‘’Well we picked up the conversation about me being back and then we landed on the subject of happy endings and how Em is always so big on them and then we were talking about Great Expectations.’’ Ali couldn't stop smiling, it wasn’t one of this fake smiles. It was her genuine Ali smile. It was nice to see her so happy again.

‘’OK weirdos’’ Hanna answered. She clearly hadn’t understood that this is their thing. Funny, considering she was the one who wanted them to reconnect in that sense. But oh well Hanna will be Hanna I guess. ‘’So what’s happening with sleeping arrangements?’’ 

‘’Well you called the floor so you get the floor. One day you’ll have to tell me what that’s about… I never got that either. Aria, Spencer and Emily you can decide on which one sleeps in the bed with me’’ Ali said looking to the ground I think she was waiting for Em’s reaction more than ours.

‘’I’ll sleep next to Hanna.’’ Emily blurted out blushing. okay… Me and Aria looked at each other then at Ali. She was looking at the ground a visible look of disappointment on her face.

‘’Em, your shoulder’s still a bit damaged you should take the bed. I can go one night without spooning.’’ Hanna encouraged whilst Emily glared at her.

‘’ She’s got a fair point Emily. You’re just about to start swimming again. It’d be best for you to sleep on a mattress rather than the floor.’’ Aria advised.

Emily pleaded with me with her eyes. That girl is too good at puppy dog eyes but she should know better.

‘’OK I’m just going to say it. Emily your shoulder actually does need the rest and this is not some twisted plot. You need to be in shape for swimming. We all know how much it means to you and you really need all the extra help that you can gather.’’ I said with authority, I think. Her jaw dropped and so did all the other girls, although Ali was really just staring at the ground.

‘’I’m gonna go brush my teeth, I’ll be back’’ Ali went in the bathroom and Aria and Hanna followed her.

‘’What the hell was that Spencer?’’ Emily whispered angrily, we were at opposite sides of Ali’s bed.

‘’The truth. We talked about it with the girls whilst we were downstairs. We agreed not to intervene and leave you to sort it out. Although we maintain the idea you should wait before thinking of being with Paige or anyone else for that matter again until we know Ali is okay with being back and has adapted to a somewhat normal life. But Em, seriously, your shoulder. Please don’t jeopardise your passion because of something so stupid. Just for one night. You can even sleep the furthest away from her.’’

‘’That’s not it, Spencer. I’m scared of what I’ll feel when I’m next to her… What if it’s all too much and my feelings get the best of me and…’’

I rushed to her side ‘’ Hey Em! It’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. Just get in and sleep. If she speaks to you pretend you’re asleep okay? If you want I’ll put myself right there next to you on the floor. And I’ll stay awake until I know for sure you’re asleep. Okay?’’ She just nodded. She was holding back her tears.   
‘’Breathe’’ She exhales ‘’There you go that’s it. Come on let’s get ready for bed’’ I say as I walk over to my bag.

 

Alison’s POV

20 mins later we were all in bed. And giving it was almost 4 AM, we decided we would just sleep now. Within minutes Hanna was snoring and I’m pretty sure Aria was out too. But I could sense Spencer and Emily were still awake. Emily’s back was turned to me and I could she was stiff. She wasn’t relaxed. I really hoped we’d get through this. I love her but I need my best friend in her too. I saw movement, Em had her hand out towards Spencer who took it and then let it go again. I saw Em’s head move in the faint moonlight. A few minutes later her breathing seemed lighter and I could tell she was now fast asleep. I raised myself on my side to see Spencer was also out. I wedged myself closer to Emily. I was about to wrap my arm around her waist and rest my hand on hers but decided against it. It would be far from wise especially if she were to wake up. I decided that this was probably as close as I’d get it and close my eyes. Within seconds I was fast asleep.


	6. The Snuggle Struggle

Emily’s POV

‘’Humhum!’’ I opened my eyes with a jolt. Hanna, Spencer and Aria were staring at me with their eyes open wide.

‘’Again… what is it now?’’ Their eyes follow my arm down to my hand. Shit!!!

I had my arm wrapped around Ali’s waist and was snuggled into her and our fingers were intertwined… I look up at them alarmingly!

‘’Ok… did we miss something within the last like 10 hours?’’ Hanna joked

I slowly moved my arm out trying not to wake her.

‘’I didn’t do it on purpose I swear. I didn't even know I was in that position! How long were we like that?’’ I ask completely surprised, I sit up 

‘’Well we’ve all kind just woken up 5 mins ago to see you two… you know’’ Aria whispered

‘’Crap! At least she’s not awake… This could have been worse’’ I say getting out of the bed

‘’What could have been worse?’’ Ali’s eyes fluttered open. Damn! She had the sexiest morning voice ever! Control yourself Emily!

‘’The hangover from Hanna’s tequila! We’re all actually feeling alright.’’ Thank God, Spencer was smart and good at her thinking on her feet

‘’Oh yeah! That’s true… I don’t have a headache’’ Ali observed. That morning voice. Come on Em! Move on already!

‘’I’m gonna start preparing breakfast’’ I say heading for the door

‘’Em its like 2 o’clock’’ Ali looked at me suspiciously

‘’Brunch then! I’ll make likes eggs bacon and pancakes!’’ I say rushing out of the room

I open the fridge and start making the batter. I hear footsteps rushing down.  
‘’What the hell was that Em?’’ Hanna throws her hands up in the air

‘’What was what? ‘’ I ask as innocently as possible

‘’Don’t try that with me Em! I get you want to move on but don’t start acting all weird around her’’

‘’I’m sorry okay? I panicked. It won’t happen again, I don’t think.’’

‘’Good. Just calm down and be the Emily Fields we all love and know.’’ I smile at her, I’m so lucky to have her as my best friend and then she killed the sentimental mood by being Hanna. ‘’So when do you think food will be ready? ‘’ I let out a light laugh.

‘’2mins’’

‘’Awesome! I’ll go get the girls!’’ She runs up the stairs taking them two by two when I hear a thud.

‘’I’m okay!!!’’ She yells out across the house, I start laughing extra loudly just so she’ll hear me. I swear that girl would do anything for food.

 

Alison’s POV

I was awake during their whole conversation, I’d actually been awake for half an hour but didn't want to move. Emily had wrapped her arms around me in the night, whether voluntarily or not, I don’t care. She still did it consciously or not. I stayed there feeling the warmth radiating off from her body and enjoying the peace and sense of safety that took over me. I just lay with her by my side. Loving her more than yesterday. I wish she could understand the power she has over me. As I lay beside her, I thought about how I was going to be around her. I had to prove to her that I’ve changed, that I refuse to play with any emotions and hers in particular. I want her to see that I meant every word and more last night. I want her to see that those kisses were not just for practice and that if anything she was the real thing. But if that means us just staying friends I’m okay. I mean I’m not okay with it on the long term but for the moment it’s more than I deserve. I never understood people who just sat and waited for their love until now. Love is a thing that you can’t do anything about and when it came to Em nothing could change anything whatsoever. I am in love with her. 

When the girls had started getting up, I immediately pretended to be asleep. I wanted to stay in this moment with Emily and I knew they would interrupt it some way. I was right. Em stirred next to me.

‘’Again… what is it now?’’ I heard her say. Her breath was warm on my ear. I’m guessing she hasn’t realised yet, it’s sweet. It makes me think she feels it’s natural for her to be in that position.

‘’Ok… did we miss something within the last 10 hours?’’ Hanna joked

I felt her move and I repositioned myself a little as to make it seem like I was still asleep.

‘’I didn’t do it on purpose I swear. I didn't even know I was in that position!’’ Oh my God! It’s so cute that she did it in her sleep… Come on! Ali! Keep your cool. 1) You don’t want to blush whilst you’re ‘asleep’ they’ll know something is up. And 2) You need to put a halt on your feelings for a bit… It would be weird if you couldn't control yourself around her… You need to remember to be her best friend for a moment. ‘’How long were we like that?’’ she sounds panicked. That’s not good

‘’Well we’ve all kind just woken up 5 mins ago to see you two… you know’’ Aria whispered

‘’Crap! At least she’s not awake… This could have been worse’’ 

‘’What could have been worse?’’ I opened my eyes, stretching myself out a bit.

‘’The hangover from Hanna’s tequila! We’re all actually feeling alright.’’ Spencer replied fast.

‘’Oh yeah! That’s true… I don’t have a headache’’ I noticed 

‘’I’m gonna start preparing breakfast’’ Emily starts to go to the door

‘’Em its like 2 o’clock’’ I tell her checking my alarm

‘’Brunch then! I’ll make like eggs bacon and pancakes!’’ she says rushing out of the room

Well at least Em didn’t say anything bad although the ‘’it could’ve been worse’’ comment was hurtful. But still, in her sleep she moved her way from the other side of the bed to my side and held me. Once my Killer, always my Killer. I smiled to myself at the thought of why I started calling her that. She always defended me, always stood up for me, she’s my killer or was at least.

 

‘’Ali what are you smiling about?’’ I snapped my head up. I’d completely forgotten about the girls and now they were looking at me funny.   
‘’Ali what were you smiling about?’’Spencer repeated

‘’ Just about how happy I am to be back and be with you guys’’ I attempted

‘’Ok well I’m gonna see where Em is at. I’m starving!’’ Hanna says as she heads out of the room

‘’ Ali, as much as we know you’re happy to see us we know that’s not what that smile was about. You were thinking about her weren’t you?’’ I nodded… Damn, Spencer always found me out. ‘’ We never asked you how you felt about all this. Sorry’’

‘’ Yeah, we’re so sorry Ali’’ Aria chimed in

‘’You guys have nothing to apologise for. It’s not your fault I used to be a bitch. I love her but I want to at least be able to be her best friend again. Just that would be enough for me. I don’t want it to be weird between us. So I decided that as much as I love her I’m not gonna mention it to her or you ever again. She needs to move on. I don’t know if I’ll be able too but I hope that by acting as if I am, I eventually will. I know it’s going to be hard. When I was on the run, I thought about her to keep myself going. How I was gonna make sure she had the happy ending she deserved, even if now I realise it won’t be with me. I love her too much to stand in the way of her happy ending.’’ By the end my eyes were red from trying to hold back the tears. They both had a surprised expression

‘’Wow… Ali, we had no clue. Don’t give up… ‘’ Aria comes to sit next to me on the bed and Spencer crouches down in front of me. ‘’Wait for a bit, she just needs to know she can trust you again, know that what you said was true. If you show her, it would make her happier than you stepping down and leaving her to think you’re over it. We were there with Emily when they found you and then when we found out you were alive. Trust me she never gave up on you, so don’t you think about giving up on her or yourself for that matter. Show her you mean it. I’m sure you’re her happy ending’’ Aria was wiping tears away from my face. I hadn’t even noticed. 

‘’ I agree Ali. Just wait.’’ Spencer approved

‘’You girls are amazing you know that right?’’ I smiled

‘’Well we try. Go and wash your face. You’ll feel better’’ Aria chuckled.

I went up to leave when we hear a loud thud in the corridor

‘’I’m okay!’’ Hanna yells

We all start laughing, that girl always manages to lighten the mood without even trying! I go in to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. I look like a right mess. I start washing up.

 

Aria’s POV

When Ali left, Hanna walked in inspecting her arm. 

‘’What happened to you?’’ Spencer asked

‘’I was running up the stairs.’’

‘’ May I ask why?’’

‘’Cause food is about to be ready and I need to haul your asses down now! Em made pancakes and bacon and I AM STARVING!’’

‘’Why the hell do they not just get together?!’’ I suddenly blurt out. Spencer and Hanna just stared at me. ‘’What we’re all thinking it!’’

‘’Wait what did Ali just tell you?’’ Hanna asked loudly

‘’She basically admitted to us that Emily is her everything. That she would do anything just for her to have a happy ending with or without her. And she said that being her best friend is enough for her as long as she gets to be there for her and make sure she’s happy.’’ I answered with a sigh

‘’ Oh no… Wait what did you answer?’’

‘’That she shouldn’t give up just yet. Basically the same we told Em last night only Ali appropriate. Why?’’

‘’ No reason. It’s just I told her not to act weird like she just did or it would just make things worst. And then I told her to be her natural awesome self.’’

‘’ OK. But we all agree if one of them starts to go off track we make sure they stay on right? I mean we’ve all seen how they look at each other’’ I said as they nodded in approval. 

Just then Ali walks out all freshened up.

‘’FOOD IS OUT!’’ Emily yelled from downstairs. Hanna sprints out screaming like a crazy person. Jesus what is up with her and food?! We all laughed at her and followed suit.

I miss this. Us. The five girls. Reunited. Only this time it’ll be better. This time we’ll really each others backs. No more secrets or lies. I mean apart for the whole Ali and Em but that’s different. This is regular teen drama. I like the sound of at. Regular teen drama.


	7. Guess Who's Back?

*Monday morning at school*

Emily’s POV

‘’Are we sure she’s even going to show?’’ Hanna is asking the question we’re all thinking. We told Ali to meet us here at 8. It’s now 8:20 and she still isn't here. I ‘m starting to worry. 

‘’No. There she is. Look’’ We turn our heads to where Aria is pointing.We clearly aren’t the only ones who’d seen her pull up in the parking lot as everyone starts to gather around her car. I run to her car the girls close behind. No way am I gonna let anyone try anything! Not on my watch! I promised I’d be there for her! We may not be together but I am her friend and that’s what friends do. I promised to be her best friend. And I’m planning on keeping that promise. I reached her car and people are blocking her door, she’s stuck. I push through forcing a passage between all these people that had come to watch the show or just wanted to get back at her. I started shoving people out of the way, but I was too weak for some suddenly I see someone push past me and start shoving the people and creating a path way for me. He turns around and grins. Noel. He’d known about Ali being alive, but I can’t help and wonder what else they did together… Not the time for this Emily! I didn’t think any more of it as he gestures me forwards indicating me to go to her. 

‘’You shouldn't be here! This isn’t good for anyone!’’ Some douche was yelling at her through her door.

‘’You better leave now before I break your face!’’ Noel says as he grabs the scrawny kid by his collar. 

‘’Sorry…’’ The guy mumbles as he backs away.

I reach past Noel and open Ali’s door. 

‘’Hey Ali.’’ I try to say in my softest voice possible. She pops her head up. Her eyes are all red. She was holding the tears in. Her ocean blues clearer than I’d ever seen them. I hate seeing her like this.   
‘’ Come on, the girls are here too.’’ I reach over her and unbuckle her seat belt. I step away and open the car door wider. I hold out my hand for her. She stares into me before grabbing it and giving me a small nod. I look around to see Toby, Caleb and Noel pushing the others aways and creating a passage for us to the girls. I squeeze Ali’s hand. I know I shouldn't be doing this but she needs me right now, she needs her best friends. Just as we’re about to get to the girls, Ali let’s go of my hand and walks away. I look at the girls and then Ali to see where she’s walking to. Or rather who. Paige. You have got to be kidding. Come on! Can’t I catch a break?

I see them talking but I’m not close enough to hear, I see Paige tearing up and then she hugs Ali! Ok! What the actual fuck?! Get your hands off her! Wait which one?! I think to myself as I remember I loved Paige once but Ali is Ali… I don’t know. The girls were right, I’m gonna need to sort this out soon. Ali comes back towards me and grabs my arms and we head towards the others. Aria grabs Ali’s other arm. Hanna comes next to me and gives me a warm smile saying ‘’You ok?’’ I nod quickly. Truthfully I don’t know what I am. All I know is I need to deal with this fast. Spencer is next to Aria and the guys are walking behind us as the crowd parts in front of us, leading us to the entrance of the school. Everyone is silent, some hold their phones up hoping to catch the moment Ali would flip on tape. As we reach the stairs Ali turns around to see people surrounding her front, back and sides.

‘’ I was a bitch. I’m sorry. I fucked up. You all have a right to hate me. Just know I’ve changed. What I’ve been through has taught me a lot and will spend the rest of my time here in Rosewood High making it up to those I have hurt.’’ She looks at me briefly ‘’I’m just asking a second chance. That’s all. I’m sorry. I hope I can show you just how much.’’ She bows her head down and spins on her heels before running into the school.

‘’Ali!’’ We all yell after her. As we push our way through the students, we hear people whispering ‘’Shall we? Does she deserve it? Is it true?’’ I don’t even care at this point. I just need to know she’s okay. I follow the blond curls down the hallways and smash into the restroom door that she had just ran into. The girls walk in behind me. 

‘’Ali?'' She looks up as Aria and Hanna sit each side of her as Spencer just kneels down in front of her. I just stay there, like a complete fool as I watch them reassure her and hug her. I need to show some distance. I did my part supportive part for the day I can’t be there for her too much. I need to be able to be around her without us being too close. I need to figure out how I can get out of this mess. I’m going to get over Ali. There’s no question about that. To do so I need to create space. Space for her to realise I’ve moved on and space for her to let someone else in.

‘’We should go. We’re gonna be late to first period.’’ 3 pair of eyes glare at me. Way to go Fields! I think sarcastically to myself as the girls get up and help Alison to her feet. I open the door and we step out.

 

Alison’s POV

A sudden wave of noise hits me. People are clapping and chanting. I look around me to see the student body applauding and shouting ‘’ALI ALI!’’ The girls seem just as surprised as me by this sudden turn of events. 

‘’What’s going on?’’ I ask to no one in particular. Two girls walk out of the crowd. Mindy and Cindy.

‘’The school heard you Alison.’’ says one of the twins

‘’We’re giving you the benefit of the doubt’’ claims the other.

Tears start rolling down my cheeks as I realise my classmates are something I had never been: considerate.

‘’Thank you Mindy and Cindy, I’m so sorry about how I treated you. You didn’t deserve it’’ I say to them ‘’No one deserves it’’ I say louder so everyone can hear me, the euphoria of the crowd dies down. ‘’I will get round to apologising to all of those I hurt. Unfortunately, because I was such a bitch that is lot of people and well I tended to not really think of who the person was. If I forget you, I’m sorry about that but come see me. I am sorry everyone. Thank you.’’ I said as the students stare at me and the girls stand by my side and Hanna puts an arm around my shoulder for comfort. More cheers erupt and slowly people start coming up to me as I apologise to all I had a been a monster to and the others for just being a terrible person in general. As the girls stay by me through the whole of it, I can’t help but notice Emily is standing back. She’s biting her lip, her arm holding the other, one of her knees a bit bent, looking down at the floor. She’s even more adorable when she’s nervous. I couldn’t help but smile at seeing her little tell-tale signs of nervousness. She was gorgeous no matter what she did and without even trying. She looks up for a second. Her eyebrows were furrowed. She is so cute when she’s concerned. I might have been staring a tad too long cause the look got more and more worried. I nod and turn away. Way to go Ali!!! Nod at her, best way to flirt! I really shouldn’t even be thinking about her that way. It’s not good for me. Yeah, I know the girls said I should just give it time, but I want that time to be with Emily. How can she not see the effect she has on me?

As the bell rang I shake the last of the hands and the last students scatter to class. 

‘’So Ali where do you have to go?’’ Spencer inquires

‘’Counsellors, but I don’t remember where it is…’’ I peer down the hallway, not remembering anything but where the gym, the pool, the quad and the cafeteria are. 

‘’Well I have Chem Lab down that way. It’s on my way. I’ll walk with you if you want.’’ Her voice is like silk to my ears. I could never get tired of it.

‘’Well we have History’’ says Hanna looking at Aria

‘’AP Maths’’ Spencer dully whispers.

I chuckle ‘’Once a Hastings, always a Hastings’’ I laugh and the girls join in

‘’We’re already late, I know they’ll make an exception for today but we shouldn’t abuse it.’’ 

‘’Yeah you’re right Spence. Catch you guys later at lunch?’’ Just like old times, we nod. ‘’Let’s go Hanna’’ says the little brunette as she grabs a seemingly already fed up with the school day Hanna.

I missed these girls so much. I can’t believe I treated them like trash for all those years. I am so gonna make it up to them in any way possible!

‘’Ali? You okay?’’ I am pulled out of my thoughts by a dream.

‘’Hm. Yeah, I’m good, I’m fine, I’m perfect!’’ I say with a the biggest smile I can

‘’Ali, you were making a face. You were thinking what is it?’’ Emily adds whilst turning to start walking. I follow her, I don’t have a choice not knowing where I am going. 

‘’I was thinking about you, I mean you the girls’’ I answer truthfully. I was sick of lying and hiding my feelings ‘’ I’m thinking of ways to make it up to all of you for being a terrible friend even if you never gave up on me. I don’t know how I managed to deserve friends like you. I don’t know how I managed to deserve you’’ I whisper that last part. Lord knows this is not the moment

‘’ Ali, you don’t need to do anything. You’re home. You’re safe. And that’s all any of us could ask for. To see one of the people we love, happy, healthy and with us.’’ I glanced at her at the word ‘love’. I might be paranoid but surely she didn't chose that word randomly. I mean she could’ve said care about or something… OK. NO. Ali don’t go reading into stuff that is far from helpful. I can’t help myself. 

‘’ Please, just at least let me try’’ I beg

‘’Fine’’ she says as she stops and gives me the most beautiful smile ever. God I love her. ‘’ This is the counsellor’s office by the way’’ She gestures behind me.

‘’Oh, right. I’ll see you later then’’ She turns but I grab her hand. ‘’Thanks Killer’’ she smiles shyly, I look at her as she walks away tucking her hair behind her ear. Oh god she’s incredible! 

I walk into the office, not looking forward to the long day but impatient for lunch. I’d get to sit with my friends again and talk about boys (although girls were now involved as to not exclude Em, though for me I’m not sure where I stand), music and clothes. I know it’s gonna be the best part about being back. Being with them. Being surrounded by the people I love, where I belong.

 

Emily’s POV *lunchtime*

I walk towards our usual table. Aria, Spencer and Hanna are already there.

‘’Hey Em!’’ Paige calls for me across the quad. I glance at the girls who are begging me with their eyes not to do anything stupid. I let out an exasperated sigh and go towards her. Eventually, I was gonna have to face her, rather sooner than later. 

‘’Hey Paige’’ I say without much enthusiasm. But I needed to know what Ali had told her. So I smile fakely. ‘’Wassup?’’ I try to say as casually as possible

‘’Wassup?! You’re kidding right. Your best friend just came back from the dead.’’

‘’Yeah, no thanks to you.’’ I spit back bitterly ‘’I’m sorry’’ I try to catch myself ‘’ I didn’t it mean it like that. It’s just you really betrayed me Paige when you turned her in. I was so hurt. I told you not to say anything and yet you did it anyway. You knew what this would to me, to us, Paige.’’

‘’ I’m so sorry, Emily. I really am. I just got so scared that I was going to lose you again. That something bad would happen. I couldn't deal with that. I love you too much Emily.’’ She took my hand. I didn’t move it. Yes, I loved Paige. Yes, I was once in love with her. Yes, she made me happy. Yes, she did everything to protect me. She ticked all the boxes but one. And I know that that one box can only ever be ticked by one girl, but that it couldn’t be so. I didn't know how to answer to her, so I said the thing that was probably the less appropriate right now

‘’What did Ali tell you this morning?’’ 

She seemed stunned by my question. She knows I want to avoid the topic of us as much as possible. I, myself, didn't know what I felt towards Paige anymore. With Ali back everything got messed up for me. 

‘’She said she was sorry. That I had every right to hate her and she didn’t blame me. She knows I turned her in, but she thanked me for it. She didn’t seem mad or mean, just genuine. That in fact, she hates herself for how she treated everyone. And… ‘’ she looked at me hesitantly, unsure of what to say

‘’And what Paige?’’ I throw my hands in the air, giving me an excuse to take them out of hers.

‘’ And that she’s glad I was there to take care for you. That I am here. That I did my best to protect you, to keep you safe. That through all the shit, I made you happy. I’m glad about that too Emily.’’ Her eyes are watering. I can’t sit here and take this anymore. I got up and walk away, past the girls who look from Paige to me and then call after me. But I ignore them, although I couldn’t help but notice Ali still isn't there with them. Ali is happy that someone took care of me. I can't wrap my head around anything. This isn't making any sense to me. I turn the corner and walk into someone.

‘’Sorry’’ I mumble, I keep on walking.

‘’Hey Emily! It’s me!’’ Oh God No! This is really not needed at the moment. I start to walk faster away from that voice that has more affect on me than I like to admit. I hate that after all these years she can still do this to me. I push open the door to the Ladies’ and go in a stall. I lock myself in and slide against the wall. Then I hear the door open

‘’Em, Killer?’’ Her calling me that really is not helping right now. I know what I need to do. I just hope it’s the right decision and they don’t hate me for it. As I’m about to head out the door opens again.

‘’Ali?’’

‘’Paige?’’

Seriously what the actual fuck?!?! I’m trying to make a decision here.

‘’We’re here too.’’ That’s Aria’s voice. Is this a goddamn reunion?!?!?!

‘’Emily, we know you’re in there. Come out, talk to us. Talk to me.’’  
I wish I could Alison, but it’s not a good idea. I’m sorry. I love you. I open the door. I stand in the strongest stance I can and stare down at them. Which isn’t hard because apart from Spencer and Paige they’re all smaller than me. 

‘’Move’’ I say at Hanna who’s standing in front of the door.

‘’ ‘Scuse me? Um how about you calm the fuck down and talk.’’  
Fine, I’ll tell them. This is gonna hurt so bad but it needs to be done. I turn around towards where Ali and Paige are standing next to each other.

‘’ Paige, we are over. You betrayed me for the last time. I’m sick of taking you back all the time. Yeah I loved you and you loved me and it was all great. We had a great run. It was great but it’s done. I don’t think I can be with you anymore. Actually, I know I can’t be with you anymore. I’m sorry I led you on these past couple of weeks. But actually I’m not. We can be friends if you want I don’t mind. It’s up to you how you take this. But all I know is that I’ve accepted your apologies too many times before. I’m sorry.’’ Ok one down one to go. This would be so painful especially that Alison now had a glimmer of hope shining in her eyes and Paige was staring at me in utter shock and tears streaming down her face. I can’t believe I just said that to her… It really sucked. I basically just did to Paige what Ali did to me all those years ago. Only I loved Paige, now I just like her. I think. I don’t know. This is why I’m doing this. I need to keep that in my mind. I’m doing this for them and for me. I’m doing this to know what I want. I brace myself for the next blow.  
‘’Alison. I know I said I could this. But truth is I can’t. Yeah I get it. You’ve changed, you’re sorry, blah blah blah blah. But it doesn’t change that inside I felt like a car wreck in a tornado after an earthquake. Now I’m over that. Thank you Paige, I guess. But I’m over you. I’m sorry it sucks. But I can’t be your best friend either, it’s just not working. I can’t go back to the way things were before. I don’t want sit around the table and pretend like it’s all good because it isn’t. I’d say we’re over but we never happened in the first place. I’d say I’m gonna miss you but I’ve done to much of that in a lifetime over you. So bye and enjoy an Emily Fields free life. ’’ I turn around before I break down. I’m already struggling to breathe. ‘’ There I talked. Now MOVE.’’ I practically yell at Spencer, Aria and Hanna who stand in utter bewilderment in front of the door. They make no effort to move so I reach past them and they automatically move out the way. I walk out of the school and go straight for my car. I’m not staying after what I just said. I drive away. I can’t break down where people saw me, it would ruin it. It would ruin all of it. I need to get away from them two. They weren't making anything easier, I remind myself. What I did was heartless and they will all hate me for it but I had to do it.

 

Alison’s POV

‘’What just happened?’’ Spencer managed to say

Me and Paige eye at each other. Tears falling down both our cheeks. I put my arms around her, she was surprised at first but then returns the hug. I feel my shoulder dampen.

‘’Okay what is happening?’’ Hanna says clearly surprised. ‘’Since when do you guys hug?’’

‘’ Hanna I think they can hug… They both just got hate from someone we all thought was impossible of it. Leave them.’’ Aria and her compassion, never tiresome. Paige and I stay like that for a minute. I separate and look her in the eyes and whisper ‘’I’m sorry’’ 

‘’ It’s fine Alison. For once, you weren't the one that was a bitch.’’ An expression of sadness took over her face

‘’ I know we need to talk about this girls. But lunch finishes in 5 mins and we all need to get to class. Meet me at my house after school?’’ Spencer proposes. We all agree, although I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of the day knowing she’s somewhere hating me… My heart is broken beyond repair. Then my phone beeps. And Paige’s. And Spencer’s. And Aria’s. And Hanna’s

EF: Don’t come looking for me. Don’t try to calm me down. Don’t even think of approaching me in the halls. I need space. I need to be on my own. I don’t need any of you. All I need is to be myself and I can’t do that with you. So enjoy yourselves without me, cause I wasn’t enjoying it before. Don’t try to stop me. I am me and you guys can go fuck yourself if you're not okay with it. bye emily

And then we all start crying. We group hug until the bell rings and all go our own direction. All broken by the text that our former best friend left us.


	8. Maybe I Shouldn't Come Back

Emily’s POV 

As soon as I exited the parking lot, there was only one place I wanted to go but I know I couldn’t. She would find me too easily. So I just go home. I march up to my room and slam my door. After I sent that text I felt horrible. I didn’t actually delete their numbers. I never could. I hate that I also had to send that text to the girls, but if I didn’t then they would try to help me and they would convince me to talk to the two and I can’t deal with that. At least not right now.  
I lay down on my bed and just lay there, letting the tears silently stream down my face. It hurt me so much to do that. But I had to.

I need to be away from her for a while. As much as my heart aches for her, my mind knows better and I can’t go back to her. She’s already put me through too much. Even if she won’t do that to me again, I can’t be dependant on her. I need to be my own. I haven’t been single in… I don’t even remember. I’ve always had someone there. I mean after Maya died, I had hookups although I never told the girls mainly because I was too drunk to even remember the name of the hookups. Then there was Paige, Samara, Paige again, Talia… Ok so maybe Spencer was right… I do get around. But that’s not the problem at hand, I remind myself. All I want is to prove to them, me and her that I don’t need to be with someone. Really. I just can’t deal with the heart ache anymore. If what takes for me to truly get through this mess my heart and mind have tangled themselves in is to be mean to the ones I love and create space then that’s what I’ll do. I hate this. I hate love. I hate being away from Hanna and her humour. I hate being away from Spencer and her smartness. I hate being away from Aria and her sympathy. I hate being away from them. I hate what she does to me. That’s why I’m doing this so that I’m no longer under her spell. I will brake it, I know I will.  
‘’ BITCH!!! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SMASH IT DOWN!!!!!! ‘’ Oh no. Hanna’s voice is angrier than what I’ve ever heard. I know she’s capable of smashing it. I get up and look at myself in the mirror. SHit, my eyes. They’ll give me away, they’re too red and puffy. I grab my sunglasses off my dresser and put them to cover my emotions. I go downstairs to greet my best friend with my coldest demeanour possible. I hope I can get through this. I was always closer to her than the others. I just hope she doesn’t see through me.

I open the door.   
‘’ What the fuck?! Do you not know how to read, Hanna?!?!?! I knew you were dumb but fuck that’s a whole new level!’’ I throw at her. Hurt replaces the anger that was initially in her eyes. Hanna hated people thinking she was stupid and I knew coming from me it made it worse.

‘’ How could you?’’ She breaks down in front of me. Keep it together Emily! You can’t give in!!! Remember why you’re doing this!

‘’ How could I what?’’ I try to sound annoyed

‘’ After everything we’ve been through how could you just get up and leave!!! She’s your best friend. You loved her’’ Love, i think to myself ‘’ How can you abandon us! You bitch!!! We stood by you through everything! We never let you down!!! I thought we would always be there for each other!’’ She’s yelling tears gushing down her face.

‘’ Well you thought wrong. I don’t give a shit. I’m over you, all of you. Now if you could please get your dumb ass off my front porch. And ask Spencer to explain to you what was in that text because it’s clearly too complicated for you.

‘’ You know what fine!!! You are a slut and bitch Emily!!! You are worse than Ali!!!’’ She screams. I see her lift her hand and suddenly my cheek stings. She slapped me.

‘’Get the fuck out now!’’ I yell at her, tears threatening to make an appearance  
‘’ Gladly!’’ She says walking away with her middle finger in the air. I close the door and fall down my back pressed against it. I take my sunglasses off and touch my cheek. I deserved it. I know what I’m doing isn’t right. I know I’m being unfair to them. But it’s easier like this. It would just be worst otherwise between her and me. I need to figure this shit out and soon. I need to move on, now. I grab my car keys and head to the bar, fake I.D in hand.

 

Alison’s POV

After school ended we all drove to Spencer’s house, Hanna wasn’t there though and none of us knew where she was. 

‘’ She still isn’t answering’’ Aria says

‘’ Where do you think she went?’’ Paige asks

‘’ I don’t know. Emily and her were really close. I think she might have gone to her house’’ Spencer replies

All of sudden we hear the breaks of a car and a door slam.

‘’ She’s a fucking bitch! We shouldn’t even waste our time with her!!! ‘’ Hanna yells as she barges in

‘’Hey Hanna! What do you mean? Calm down, breathe.’’ Aria walks over to her and puts an arm around her. I just sit at the counter looking at her. I’m still too in shock to say anything.

After Hanna had calmed down, she spoke up  
‘’ I went to her house. I begged her to open the door she did. She was wearing sunglasses for some fucked up reason and she started calling me dumb…’’ Hanna cries, we all know that she didn’t like being seen like that and hearing it from Emily must’ve killed her. ‘’ She told me she doesn’t care about us anymore. She wants to be left alone. I slapped her and left.’’ Hanna sat on the couch and hugged her knees.

‘’ That’s not right. Emily isn’t like that. Something happened.’’ Spencer says

‘’ You guys don’t think A is back right?! She didn’t get a text from it right???’’ Aria worried

‘’ No, Aria. A is gone. I think Emily would’ve something otherwise. I think she genuinely wants to be left alone.’’ Paige answers

‘’ How dare you say that???’’ I spit at her

‘’I’m not saying she doesn’t care ALISON!’’ She talks over me ‘’ Sorry… What I mean is that have you ever considered what you being back would do to her?’’ hurt visible across her face

‘’ Yes. She told me how she felt.’’ I answer coldly

‘’ I don’t think you get it. Alison, I think ever since she’s known you were alive Emily’s been waiting for you to come home with her, not just home but with her. When she found out you were alive, and I didn’t know yet, I could feel her slipping away from me. I think she was trying to understand things. And then you came home. You told her how you felt. She got scared and now she ran away. All her feelings came rushing back. All the hurt, the pain, the anger. Everything. I can only come up with one reason to explain this.’’ 

‘’ Which is?’’ I wonder scared of what she’ll say next

‘’ We’ve hurt her too many times before. Now she just wants to get away from the drama. Everything she went through, she always just pushed it aside. I mean you know Em. She’s always protecting and caring for those around her. Everything just came back to her. She’s mad. She hates us.’’ She whispers but I heard it and can’t help the tears fall ‘’For now at least. I think we should give her what she needs. Space. That’s clearly what she wants. She hates us now, but soon she’ll come back to us’’

‘’ I agree with Paige, Ali. I think she might come back to us sooner if we leave her alone for a bit.’’ Spencer admits

‘’ But I love her… I can’t just let her be… ‘’ My voice trails off I can’t say anything, I’m choking on my tears

‘’ I saw her Ali. She wants us as far as possible. ’’ Hanna gets up from the couch and comes towards me 

‘’ We’ll have each other in the mean time’’ Aria smiles warily

‘’ Ok, sweetie? We’re just going to wait it out. It’s Em. She cares too much to stay away for long. She’ll be back.’’ Aria continues hugging me.

Before I know it Spencer and Hanna also have their arms wrapped around me.

‘’ What you waiting for Paige? Get in here!’’ I try as cheerfully as possible ‘’You’re a part of this!’’

Paige comes forward slightly hesitant and we make room for one more in the hug. 

‘’ So who wants to watch a movie?’’ Hanna claims

We all laugh and agree with her. It was all we could do for now. I just need her here by my side. I need to feel her presence.


	9. What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can listen to What Now? by Rihanna during this chapter :) enjoy x

Emily’s POV

It’s been two weeks. 2 weeks that I’ve been avoiding my best friends. 2 weeks that I’ve pretended to hate them. 2 weeks that I’ve been alone. 2 weeks that I’ve been crying myself to sleep. 2 weeks that I’ve been having lunch on my own. Of course, I need to stay strong in public, so I made sure to have lunch in the cafeteria throwing glares at those who approach my table. I’m acting like a bitch because… I don’t even know. I just know that if I show one sign of weakness they’ll pounce and I won’t be able to hold myself back anymore. 

It was particularly hard when it came to her. We had a few classes together. To those I always made sure to get in after her and sit at the complete opposite of her. I couldn't look at her. Her perfect smile, her perfect eyes, her perfect everything. I tried moving on but I just can’t. And she’s been nothing but miserable. All my fault. But that’s why I’m doing this. So that we don’t make each other unhappy anymore. I was so stupid to believe that what I did that night would help. I hate myself for it. I did the worst thing possible. I’m so ashamed of what I did that night.

*Flashback to when Emily went to that bar 2 weeks ago*

‘’Hello gorgeous!’’ I slur at a pretty platinum blonde next to me

‘’ Hi..’’ She answers timidly

‘’ No need to be shy… Have a drink with me? I’m Emily by the way’’ I say trying to seem a minimum sober. I want to take her right then and there

‘’ Umm… Sure, yeah why not? I’m Sarah’’ she smiles

‘’ You have a great smile’’ I flirt and so on all night. After a few drinks the flirting was getting more intense. I want her and I could tell she wants me. I jump off my stool

‘’ I’m going to use the restroom’’ I wink at her and bite my lip. Let’s just hope she gets it. I quickly throw a glance behind me before entering the empty restrooms and see her with a mischievous smile. That’s hot!

I went in. The door opened a minute later. I turned around and there she was. Leaning against the door. Damn, she’s hot!!! I lunged towards her and pressed my lips against hers! Without breaking the kiss, I find the lock and lock the door so that no one could come in. I’d waited for this long enough!!!

I start kissing down her jaw to her neck as she moans quietly. I go back up to her mouth and slip my tongue in, we fight for dominance.

‘’You’re so fucking sexy you know that?’’ I whisper in her ear, we keep making out.

I feel her hands on my stomach and grin.

‘’ let me make it easier’’ I say taking my shirt off. God I love drunk me! I’m so horny and bold it’s awesome!!! she just stares in awe and I take it as a chance to take hers off. I’d been dreaming of this moment for years. Damn! All those sleepovers where I had to stop myself from leaning in and kissing her! She was so sexy!!! The times I always wanted to just rip her clothes apart but couldn’t! I’m not waiting any longer!

She starts making her way down. Kissing from my jawline, my neck and now getting to my chest… She undid my bra and started sucking on my nipple whilst playing with the other one… Fuck that felt nice, I couldn’t help but moan

‘’Ali… ‘’

‘’Um… I’m Sarah’’ she says looking up at me

‘’That’s what I said’’ I panic suddenly realising that blonde in front of me isn't the one I thought…

‘’ No you said Ali’’

‘’I’m sorry I shouldn't be doing this’’ I pick up my stuff, throw my shirt on and head out bra in hand.

* end of flashback*

I felt like shit. I mean I’m trying to get her out of my mind and yet drunk and with a beautiful girl in front of me I couldn’t. I acted colder and meaner, ignored her when she even just smiled or waved. I am a bitch. I am Alison. I hate it. I’ve never done anything so difficult in my entire life. I look at myself in the mirror in the school’s restroom.

‘’ How can you do this?’’ I ask myself  
‘’Easy. I’m doing it for the greater good. I’m doing this because she’s gonna try and play me. But no. Not this time. This time, I’m getting away. This time I’m being selfish. Because selfish is good sometimes’’ I answer. 

I head out when I bump into someone. I wasn’t planning on saying anything just keep walking until

‘’Em! Sorry’’

‘’Back off Alison! No talking to me means no bloody talking to me! Are you dumb? Did you lose brain cells when you were dead? Oh wait no that’s right you weren’t dead! It was all just another reason to be the centre of attention!’’ She stares at me in disbelief, I probably just said the worst thing possible to her and I regret it but I can’t show it. I shove past her, I don’t want to see the tears that are already forming in the corner of her eyes fall…

‘’You know what fuck you Emily Fields!!! I can’t believe I wasted time on you! You aren’t who I thought you were!!!’’ She yells. My heart stops and so do I. I compose myself, my heart breaking inside of me. I need to stay strong! I can do this!

I turn around and stare her ‘’ Finally you got it!!! Well done Princess!’’ I mock applaud, turn on my heel and strut the best I can away from her. I need to seem strong and confident. 

I walk into the pool area and just sit there until the next class. I need to recollect. I let the tears silently stream down my face as the words she pronounced sink in. I guess it worked. But there’s no way we’ll ever be friends. I’m now alone. It worked though. I’m free from her, I no longer need to fret about what she is doing to me. She’s over me. I’m over her? Yeah of course I am!

I need to quit doubting myself and affirm it. It’ll make it all the more real and possible. I repeat it in my head until the bell rings. ‘’I’m over her. I don’t love her.’’

I walk to English. A class I have the luck to share with Hanna, Spencer, Aria, Paige and Alison. Joy. When I walk in, they are all there, gathered around Ali, comforting her. 

‘’ I’m sorry Ali’’

‘’ Don’t apologise for her Aria! I truly believed it was an act but the way she spoke-‘’

‘’Hello Ladies!’’ I say as happily as I can as I sit in the empty seat next to Ali.

‘’I was about to sit there’’ Hanna says angrily

‘’ Maybe you were but yo fat ass ain’t on the chair so Imma sit here instead. Hiya there sweetie? miss me yet?’’ I wink at Ali.  
‘’ You are a bitch’’ bang! She hit me!

‘’The fuck is wrong with you Paige! I knew you had anger issues but woman calm yourself!’’ This is so not how I speak. I sound ridiculous! 

Ezra walks in ‘’ Girls! Find your seats now! I don’t want to know what happened but I’ll let it slide! You guys sort yourselves out before I get the head involved!’’

We all nod and the girls find their seats. My cheek stings like hell I need to go put water on it… well not really. I just need to get out here, I can hear her heavy breathing from holding down her sobs

‘’ Mr Fitz, can I go to the restroom please? Put water on my cheek? I can cool’’ I don't wait for an answer, he absentmindedly hands me a hall pass and I rush out. 

As soon as I exit the room, I make a b-line for the restrooms. The pain inside me already taking over. I lock myself in a stall in case someone comes in and stay for a bit.

I hear the door swing open

‘’Emily?’’ Aria? Of course Ezra would let HER out of his class

‘’ I know you’re here Emily. You don’t have to say anything’’

‘’Fuck off’’

‘’No. Not until I’ve said this’’

‘’ I don’t want to hear your bullshit. I’m fine’’

‘’ We miss you. I know this isn’t you. I don’t know why you’re acting like this but I know it has something to do with her. I don’t get why you are being mean to all of us but I won’t give up on you, ever. Never will she. I know what she said to you but she lo-‘’

‘’ I don’t want to bloody hear it Aria! Get out! Now!’’ I say storming out of the my stall to come face to face to the small brunette

‘’ Fine. I’ll leave. Just know I still give a damn!!! And I’m sorry if that is a problem for you Emily!’’ She yells crying and walks out.

I stay there for a couple more minutes and head back to class. I pretend nothing’s happened. This has been the worst of all these days. I feel more like crap than I ever have. I disappoint them. I disappoint myself. More importantly I disappoint her. But that’s what I was trying to do. But why do I feel so damn miserable about it?

As soon as english ends, I leave school. I can’t stay here for the rest of the afternoon. I head out the school, getting weird glances from fellow students. Me and my new edgy bitchy behaviour towards my best- sorry- ex-best friends is all they can talk about. I hate being the centre of attention. I run to my car. I slam my head into the wheel! I hate myself.


	10. Waiting on You

*listen to Seasons (Waiting on You) by Future Islands*

Emily’s POV

I went to our spot. I know. Dumb. If anything, I should have been as far away as possible from here. But I knew that Ali wouldn’t skip school, Paige doesn’t know much about this place and the girls probably wanted to do whatever Alison wanted so stood back.

At least here I could think somewhat clearly. 

Although what I did killed me it was the only way I was going to figure out what I wanted. Everything I’ve said to them for past weeks has killed me. I have never been so mean in my life. I can’t believe I thought that would be the easy way out. I don’t think anything has ever been so difficult. I basically had everything and turned it into nothing. They probably all hate me. I hate me too to be honest. I screwed it up so badly. I know why I did it. I just don’t think it was a reason anymore. I’ve lost everyone who cares about me. I’m alone. The worst words were the ones I said to her. Telling her I didn’t care… It killed me. 

I stay like that a couple hours. Contemplating. Just sitting on the rock, thinking about the day we met. The way she never missed a meet. The way she messaged me in the middle of the night just because. The way she opened up to me about herself. The way she became herself because she wanted to be with me. The way we would sit on my bed dealing with drama and just talk for hours as she played with my hair. The way she did everything out of love for me. The way I would dream about our future together. The way we were planning our future together. 

I look at my phone. Crap! Half past three! I should get going. I had followed her the first few days and this is where she had come. I had stopped because it wasn’t good for me to see her cry like that. I leave just in case she shows up, I run to my car and drove away. I know it’s not good for me to stay here.

I go back home. I get my stuff, push it into my bag, grab a snack and hop in my car. I drive away as fast as possible, Toby lives across the street. I can’t face him.

 

Paige’s POV

I spent the whole afternoon at the back of the classroom. I knew we were over a long time ago. I knew when I found out Alison was alive that everything would change. That Emily and her would happen. I wasn’t dumb. You never forget about your first love no matter how hard you try. I just didn't expect Em to be so rude about it. Alison’s walls had clearly come undone when she came back but the way Emily left her made her seem so frail and weak. I knew Emily and I were over. I was just starting to be ok with it actually. But God! she was such a bitch about it. I mean yeah I know, I asked Em if we could back together all those days ago but I wasn’t expecting her to be the bitch she’d become. I hate her for what she to Alison and me that day, but I thought that would be it. Ever since that day I’ve stayed by her side. She’s clearly miserable. That’s why I slapped Em! She’s become Alison. I had the courage I didn’t have back then. That’s why I could stand up to her. I shocked myself but the way she had been treating all of us was completely unacceptable. Alison and I were closer and we’d gotten rid of all the bad blood between us .

*Flashback to Ali’s first day at school when she goes from Emily to Paige in the morning*

Alison was walking towards me. Uh OH! This cant be good. I close my eyes and prepare myself for the hit.

‘’ I’m sorry’’ I open my eyes and there in front of me is standing a girl who’s been through a lot, a girl who had to play dead for 2 years to stay alive. ‘’I’m so sorry Paige. I said and did the most awful things to you’’ she says to the ground ‘’ I made you feel worthless and no one deserves that. Especially not you’’ I looked at her quizzically, as if she understood she kept going in a broken voice ‘’ You did what I couldn’t do. You protected Emily. You were there for her. You made her happy. You make her happy. You make her forget about the pain I put her through, the misery I put both of you through. I will never be able to apologise enough. ‘’ Tears were falling from both our eyes right now. She tried to control it ‘’ I want you to keep doing that. I love Emily. But I won’t let myself ruin your love. I don’t know what she feels for you. I won’t lie. All I know is that she doesn’t look at me the way she used to. I want you to make her happy Paige. Emily deserves her own happy ending.’’ I smiled at that last part, it’s true Em always lived for the happy ending of others. I hugged Alison tightly and she hugged back. We smiled at each other as we broke away. ‘’I’m sorry’’ she whispers one last time before turning to walk back to Emily who had a dumbfounded look on her face. 

*End of flashback*

I know what Emily wants. She wants to be with Alison. She's just scared it’ll blow up in her face again. I’m okay with it. I just want Emily to be happy. Besides we were just getting into argument after argument by the end of our relationship. But if that was her way of coping with her feelings then damn! Girl got problems. I know this isn’t Emily. I know she’s hiding something. I just don’t get what. I could see Alison had changed by the way she broke down when I held her. I shit you not I heard her heart break as we hugged. I know for a fact now, that Alison wouldn't even think of hurting Emily. I just needed a way to prove it to her.

It was time to go to Spencer’s. We’d all decided to meet over there after Emily’s latest outburst. We figure it was finally time to do something. This had go on long enough. We all came in our own cars so we all went to her house by ourselves. When I walked in they were all there. Alison was on the couch sobbing hysterically. I walk over to her. Hanna steps in front and glares at me. She still doesn’t believe I’ve got Alison’s best interest at her. Before you think anything, no I’m not into her. I just feel bad and want to help.

‘’Hanna please. I won’t do anything I promise. I’m here to help.’’

‘’It’s fine Hanna.’’ Alison stifles between a sob.

‘’ Alison, you’re going to fight for her. Because that’s what she did for you for 2 years. You are going to go to her and be with her. Make her realise that without you she won’t get by.’’ She tried to cut me off but I didn't let her so she just closed her mouth ‘’ I know what you said earlier. But I also know Emily. I know that she wants to be with you. I know you’re each other’s happy ending. She’s scared.’’ And that’s when it clicked ‘’ I know why Emily said all those things and has been acting like a bitch!’’ I shout to no one in particular

‘’Well don’t keep it to yourself!’’ Aria says alarmingly

‘’ Emily… She couldn’t make her mind up. That first day, she only acted like that because both Alison and I were there and she’d seen just both of us after we’d both just told her something important. That’s why she left. She wanted to make sure we wouldn’t go after her so that she could think.’’

‘’Wait? What couldn’t she make her mind up about…’’ Hanna wondered. I wasn't too sure about what I was about to say.

‘’ At first I thought it was about who she wanted to be with, me or Alison…’’ I looked at the blonde who was still softly crying, listening intently, hurt registered all over her face. ‘’But I think it’s something a lot more difficult than that. I think it’s you’’ I point at Alison to make my statement even more dramatic. She jumps up and walks towards me threateningly.

‘’What do you mean ‘it’s me’?’’ She glared at me

‘’ Sorry not meant to come out like that. I think she doesn’t know what to do about you. I think she’s torn between doing what she thinks is the right thing which is nothing and doing what she really wants which is to hold you’’ I gulped, it hurt to admit it but there was nothing I could do about it. ‘’ She’s so scared of what could happen that she’s making us think she doesn't care about you or us or anyone. She doesn’t want to be hurt anymore’’

‘’Wait… You’re saying Emily wants to be with me so bad she’s being mean to me so that eventually she actually doesn't care?’’ 

‘’Pretty much…’’ 

‘’Well there’s only one thing to do sis!’’ sis? huh? Why would Spencer call her sis? weird

‘’What’s that?’’ She asks full of hope

‘’Go get your girl duh!!! And don’t stop till you slut it up!’’ Hanna shouts

‘’Hanna? Really?!’’ Alison scolded her

‘’Sorry… That wasn’t what I meant to say! I meant to say something all supportive and loving.’’

‘’ Where could she be?’’ Aria had been looking at me the whole time… It’s like she felt pity for me… Oh well no time for that, she had just asked a valid question.

‘’The Kissing Rock!’’ Ali smiles

‘’How do you know?’’ Spencer seemed surprised

‘’ That’s where she found me on the night of the sleepover. And it was our spot.When I went in hiding, I often saw her go there and just sit.’’

‘’Well what are you waiting for?!?! ‘’ Hanna said

Alison grabbed her keys from Spencer’s counter and said ‘’ Nothing! Paige, thank you! ‘’ she smiled excitedly and ran out the room

‘’Woah! well that’s a lot of emotion! I’m gonna need food after that’’ We laughed, Hanna could seriously not live without eating every hour. ‘’Spencer, what do you have for me to eat?’’

Spencer and Hanna walked over to the fridge and Aria came to me.

‘’Hey you okay?’’ 

‘’ I’m good. I think I’m gonna go to the pool. Clear my head. Breathe, you know’’ I answered

‘’Yeah sure, don’t worry. And thanks Paige what you did was really big of you and I know they’ll both be so thankful for what you just did.’’  
I smiled and said goodbye to the three and I left for the school. I need to relax.


	11. I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

*you can listen to I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me by Demi Lovato whilst you read this*

Emily’s POV

I keep going. Only stopping every few minutes for a drink and to breathe. The water flowing over me, it was so relaxing. It cleared my head, it made me stop for a second and take a break from the real world and it was nice. I keep gliding on, my movements becoming more fluid as time passes by. I get to be Emily again.

I must have been swimming for at least an hour when all of a sudden I hear footsteps. I keep swimming till I reach the end of the pool, I panic. No one should be here at this time. Who’s there? Wait why am I saying this to myself?!

‘’Who’s there?’’ I yell

‘’ Em? Is that you?’’ Paige’s head appears above me.

‘’Oh My GOD! Paige you scared me!’’ I say pulling myself out of the pool.

‘’Sorry. Guess we had the same idea huh?’’ I look at her what does she mean, she continues ‘’Both needed to relax, get our mind off of things. I know why you’re here’’

‘’And why am I here?’’ I say angrily as I look at her. I’m trying to push them away and I can’t fall back into old habits. I need to create space.

‘’Because you don’t mean a word of what you’ve said and you hate yourself for the way you’ve been acting. About us being over yeah, I know, I get it. And honestly, I’m okay with it. I saw it coming, I was just waiting for you to realise it. But what you said to Ali was a huge lie. I know you still love her. I realised that when we were at Spencer’s trying to understand… This, whatever is happening to you’’

I look at the pool. I can’t believe she found me out. I guess she really does know me. 

‘’ Ok so why are you here? Why do you need to clear your head?’’ I ponder

‘’ Because I just saw Alison.’’

Woah… Hold up! What???

‘’Why? Since when do you guys hang out?’’

‘’Since you left both of us feeling down for the same reason. I felt bad for her and kept her company. After you left that first day, her and I cried a lot but whilst I just cried, she broke. She broke down in my arms, Em. I heard her heart break over and over. She loves you Emily, like really loves you.’’ She’s lying. It’s a set-up. She’s saying that so that I go to Ali and then get hurt and go back to her

‘’Nice try Paige. It’s not going to work!’’ I get up to leave

‘’Just hear me out Emily! Why are you being so stubborn about this?!?!?!’’

‘’ Because I’ve already tried and I failed!’’ I turn around and face her throwing my hands in the air.

‘’Tried what?’’ She wasn't getting what I meant. I sit down on the bleachers, she makes her way next to me.

‘’ Tried letting her back in! And it kills okay! I know she will go back to her old ways. Plus I don’t want to hurt you.’’ I almost whisper the last part

‘’ That’s it Em! You don’t get it do you?! Listen to me! We met at Spencer’s after school.’’ They did that? Weird they must’ve really been worried I guess ‘’ I told you I’m fine Emily. We’d only been arguing anyways lately. Everything in our relationship was going south. It’s good it ended before it was too late.’’ Wow… Did not know she felt like that. Wait what does that mean though… As if reading my mind ‘’ I told Ali that if she wanted her happy ending she was going to have to fight for it! That I know you still love her! That what you said earlier was for yourself more than us. That you didn’t do it because you hate her, you did it because it scares you to know that you love her. That really you were putting distance between all of us to figure everything out’’ She’s good 

‘’ I’m scared Paige. What if she just gets up and leaves again!’’

‘’Do you love her?’’

‘’Yes’’

‘’ Then if she ever does leave I will kick her ass!’’ I giggle at that

‘’ I don’t know Paige… I love her so much that’’ I stop myself not sure this is something she would want to hear

‘’ Em, I’m your friend. Say what you have to say.’’

‘’ I love her so much that it hurts. You don’t know how hard it was for me not to break down these 2 weeks. Every time I saw her, I just wanted to run to her and say I’m sorry. That I didn’t mean anything. Every time I look at her, I forget about everything. All the things she’s done, all the things she would say to me because I was gay. I would just fall for her more. I would forget all the trouble and just care about how she made me feel in the moment.’’

‘’ Em, listen to yourself! You’re using the past. That’s what she used to be like. You know she’s changed and I’ll bet you anything she’s going to stay that way.’’ She paused ‘’ Is that how you saw her before Emily?’’

‘’Yeah…’’ I sigh ‘’ When it was just her and me, she would be that girl less vulnerable still but that’s the side I would see of her. The real one. The one behind closed doors. Often she stayed who she was with everyone else but every now and then she would be the real Ali, not the one she tried to be. Do you really think I should try?’’ I hesitate

‘’Go for her! I can see it in the way you speak about each other and even just how you look at each other. Yeah she did some pretty fucked up things. And she knows one was pushing you away. She’s drowning without you Emily, in her own tears that she was crying because she fell head over heels into you Em.’’ Silence. ‘’Emily you deserve to be with someone you love and who loves you back. And I think at this point Alison might even love you more than you love her!’’

‘’ How could you possibly know that? ‘’ I ask stunned

‘’Because when we told her to go get her girl, her tears stopped and she smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen in my life! Because she jumped up from where she was and decided to go find you’’

‘’But she didn’t… You did’’

‘’No she didn’t. She went to the Kissing Rock, which I understand is your spot. She thought you’d be there. Why aren’t you?’’ she was puzzled

‘’ I was. I was there and I thought about everything that has happened to us. That has happened between us. I thought about how I used to dream about her when she died. Praying she was alive. I remembered the way she makes me feel. I spent the whole afternoon thinking I was reminiscing. But I wasn’t. I was dreaming. And then I realised she would probably go there soon so I left when school finished so that she didn’t find me and came to the one place other than there where I could think quietly. Here.’’

‘’ And what are you still doing here?’’ 

‘’ I have no idea’’ I say as I get up and grab my stuff ‘’Thank you, Paige! For everything!’’

‘’ Just go already Emily!!! Get the girl!!!’’ She pushes me towards the door and I run. I get changed in a matter of seconds and rush out to my car.


	12. It's You

*i think you should listen to Save Me by Leela James whilst reading the chapter until the song ends, it should be timed to end at an appropriate moment :) *

Alison’s POV

No one. She isn’t here. That hurt me so much. I know that was this was the spot she came to when she needed a break. Numerous times had I watched her as she sat there for countless hours crying, talking to herself, blaming herself for my disappearance. How it just broke my heart to see her like this and know that I couldn’t do anything about it. I hated it. Watching the person you love cry for you and because of you is a thing I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy… That includes everyone who was A at one point or another. 

So I sit on the rock. Remembering that day we spent by the lake at a party before I went missing.

*Flashback*

‘’ People have been sneaking off to the kissing rock for hundreds of years.’’ I say smiling softly at her

‘’ You’re making that up’’ She answers looking away. Gosh, she is so pretty. No! Ali, you’re straight ,you like guys! You’re just saying that because she’s your best friend and that’s it! It’s normal for people to think their best friend is good looking right?

‘’ Just because I make it up doesn't mean it’s not true.’’ I can’t tear my eyes off of her. ‘’ You go there with somebody and you can feel the ghosts of the other lovers spying on you.’’ She turns her heard to me at the mention of the word ‘lovers’. Her eyes are magnificent, I stare into them as I say ‘’ You know you should never disappoint a ghost’’ I smirk

She looks at me for a second, unsure of what to say. ‘’ It’s just a dusty old rock’’ she tries as casually as possible but I know she’s hooked on every word I am saying.  
‘’ Who do you want to take there?’’ I say cockily, I know she has a secret crush on me, although it’s not much of a secret to me. She stares into me and shrugs lightly. I know she just doesn’t want to say it. I see from the glint in her eyes that she would like to take me. And it makes me so warm and fuzzy inside. No. It’s no right. I don’t like a girl! I like guys, I mean I’ve been with loads of them too. But she has an effect on me. But I can't like a girl, especially not my best friend. It’s just not right.

*End of flashback*

I loved her so much. I can’t believe I denied it. I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have played her.

‘’ I’m sorry Emily.’’ I was yelling at our spot again. I was letting my feelings out, venting… It helps, talking about her out loud in our special space. I’d being doing that pretty much every day for the past two weeks. It was like my own private therapy session ’’I’m an idiot. I’m a bitch for how I played you. Your feelings were far from one-sided. I loved you so much. I love you so much. I was so stupid. I am so stupid. I love you so much it hurts. I can’t believe I let you go through all this crap because of me’’ Tears were now streaming down my face, causing the makeup I’d re-applied in the car earlier to fall down again. ‘’I love Emily Catherine Fields and if anyone isn’t okay with that than you can go fuck yourself!’’ I screamed at the lake in front of me ‘’ Fuck! I’ve ruined it! The most perfect girl in the world wanted me and I wanted her and because I was such a conceited, arrogant, bitchy slut I pushed her away! How dumb do you have to be!’’ This was more to myself but I wanted to address one person right now, I felt like somehow this would make it easier for the both of us

‘’ Emily Fields, I love you. You came into my life and flipped my world upside down. I didn’t get it at first. I didn't get why and how you could do so much to me. And when I understood, I pushed you away. I made us, you, me believe it was all just an act. Just another act of slutty Ali. I told myself you were just for practice and then I told you that. And when I told you, it damn near killed me for two reasons. One: I knew I was lying to myself and I hated it the fact that you could do that to me. But more importantly, I saw the hurt, the pain, the anger, the love, the disgust, the despair and the emotion in your eyes, your face, in you when I said that. And I hated being the one who caused you so much pain. I felt like shit. I feel like shit. I can’t believe you let me. Why did you let me, Emily? Hurting you was the worse thing I’ve ever done. I made myself believe it was right because it scared me how right this wrong felt! I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry Emily. I really couldn’t live with myself if I am the reason why you’re pushing everyone away. Please. I love you Emily. Forever. I meant it that day too. You and me in sweet Paris for ever? That’s what pushed me to get up every morning and fight. Fight A, get to you girls. Get home. Safe. In your arms. Where I used to think I belonged. I’m not so sure anymore. I know that’s where I want to be, but I don’t think that’s where you want me. hope Paige is right. I hope that you just said those things because you love me too much. Please tell me that’s why, Emily. I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to be the one who did this to you. I know it’s my fault. Please Emily. I need you! I need you there! I need to know that you’re on our side! That you’re on my side! Please… I love you, Emily.’’ I stop to breathe. I stay quiet for a minute or so. It felt so good to just let it out! My breath evened out again and the tears had stopped.

‘’ I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope-’’ I’m cut off

‘’ against happiness, against all discouragement that could be’’ I turn around to see the most beautiful person in the world staring right through me. 

 

Emily’s POV

She was there beautiful as ever. The sun setting in front of her glorified her more. She’s yelling. Torturing herself about how she used to be. I don’t know what to do so I just hide amongst the trees till I feel like it’s the right time to pop out. I still don’t know what I’m gonna say to her… What if she doesn’t want me because of how I treated her and the rest of the girls? What if she changes her mind again?

My heart stops. Did she just say ‘’ I love you Emily Fields’’? Wait did she see me?! Of course she didn't dummy! She’s facing away from you. I keep listening in. Wow… does she really love me that much? How could I have been so stupid to not let her in that first night! You idiot Em! As always you’re a step behind on your Ali-game! 

‘’I love you Emily. Forever.’’ Wow… I had no idea. What am I meant to say? I had the girls to get me through it but Ali was on her own and I’m the one who helped her… idiot Emily! But you do belong in my arms Alison!!! You belong in my heart and I belong in yours! How could I ever allow myself to act the way I did towards her! I’m a bitch a dumb one of that!!!

Yeah Paige was right Ali!!! I’m so sorry! Agh! I should say something… What though?

Suddenly she stops talking, I look up at her, silent tears rolling down my cheek. They were tears of joy mixed with tears of sadness. She’s looking towards the lake still. Should I step in? Say something?

‘’ I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope-‘’

‘’ against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.’’ I finish as she turns to face me. She stands there silent, not knowing what to say.

‘’ I love you too Ali.’’ I blurt out, running towards her. ‘’ You’re my everything. My one true love. I’m sorry I doubted you. Paige was right. I did it out of love for you. I was too scared to love you and lose myself. I’m so sorry’’

‘’ Don’t apologise Em. It’s my fault’’

‘’No it’s not! I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis! I was a fool for thinking anyone could ever replace you! I can't believe I was such a bitch to you and that I treated you like that I hate my-‘’ I was cut off by her lips crashing into mine. The kiss was so soft yet passionate at the same time! It was everything I dreamed of! She passed her tongue on the bottom of my lip asking for entrance that I permitted without even a second of hesitation. The kiss is full of love, lust, passion and electricity. It had never felt like this with the the others! They were all just girls I’d dated but wow… her… she’s Ali! And it makes the kiss a million times better already! It’s a dream. I feel 15 again in the library. It’s incredible. She’s incredible!

After a few minutes we both pull away ‘’Wow!’’ we say out of breath.

 

Alison’s POV

We kissed. We kissed!!! I kissed the girl I love finally after 2 years!!! I can’t stop staring at the brunette beauty in front of me! She is so incredible! Her eyes the colour of chocolate, her lips in a smile so bright! 

‘’ I love you so much Em!!!’’ I whisper before leaning in for another breathless kiss. Another kiss that was better than what I ever could imagine. Fireworks everywhere. Butterflies everywhere. Pure joy and love everywhere. The kiss makes me feel like we’re the only two people in the world. As we kiss I couldn’t help but smile into it. This was the best thing that could ever happen to me.   
‘’I love you Ali!’’ she breathes onto my lips. She pulls away just enough for our noses to touch and to lean our foreheads on one another. ‘’ I missed you Ali…’’ She breathes 

‘’I’ve been here for almost a month, Emily’’

‘’ I know… But I was a bitch for the last two and I wasn't really there for the first and a half…I feel like an idiot… To think we could’ve been here doing this for almost a month, instead I decided to act like a bitch… Ugh… Never let me do that again!’’ Her brown eyes skimmed all over my face, like she was taking in every inch of my skin ‘’I love you Ali’’

I peer into her eyes and heart, she’s telling the truth. Her smile wider than I’ve seen for a while. I did that to her, I can’t help but blush. I hold her tight I don’t ever want to let her go.

‘’ I won’t ever let you go’’ she replies… Shit I said that out loud… I glance up at her, embarrassed… She’s grinning ear to ear down at me. Her eyes are full of love and I know for sure, they’re a reflection of mine. 

‘’ You are the most perfect human being ever’’ I declare suddenly, no longer able to hold it in. She lets out a light laugh before answering

‘’ I doubt that because I’m looking at her right now’’ She was so romantic and cheesy… I love it!

‘’Mushy Squash’’ I say to her pulling a fas of mock disgust. We giggle.

I love her.

After that we just stand there in each other’s arms. Happy to be there. In this moment. With one another. We stare out to the lake for no reason. She rests her head on mine as I put it against her chest. Her heart racing but her breathing somehow steady.

 

I don’t think about the time until an hour later when the night finally settles around us.

‘’Shit!’’ I say

‘’What?! What’s wrong Ali!? ‘’ Emily panics

‘’ The girls! They have no idea what’s happened! They’re probably worried’’ I look down at my phone! Of course no bloody reception here!  
‘’ Come on Em! We need to go!’’ I walk away from her

‘’Why? Why can’t we just stay here and enjoy this?’’ She mutters

‘’Because our friends were worried about you and now they’re most likely worried about me too… I hate to cut this short! I really do! I wish I could just stay here with you forever. But we need to get back to our friends. Besides haven’t you always wanted to show me off to our friends?’’ I mock her at the end

She scoffs at me, shocked that I said that. I walk towards the forest grabbing her with me  
‘’ I did… But right now I wanna keep you to myself.’’ She whines, trying to pull me back ‘’I’ve waited 3 years for this Ali. I want to enjoy it. Please you can call them and we’ll go to my house, my parents left for Texas this morning, we’ll be home alone and we c-‘’ 

‘’ Em, we just kissed’’ I say, scared of what she was saying. I saw her face drop and change colour as I said that

‘’ You’re kidding right?! ‘’ She yells at me. Her hands showing her anger as she thrusts them to the side, pushing me away in the process ‘’ You fucking played me again Alison! What the fu-?’’ Wait hold up what?! 

‘’ No that’s not what I meant Emily!!! I didn't mean that!’’ I plead

‘’Really what did you mean then?’’ Emily says furiously

‘’ WOW! Okay! No I meant I’m not ready to go there yet with you Emily… I wanna take this slow… I love you so much, I don’t want to rush into things with you’’ I say

‘’ Well yeah me neither Ali…’’ We were both puzzled now. ‘’ I meant we could watch a film!!!’’ She laughs ‘’ Get your mind out the gutter Ali!!! Go to my house where we’ll be alone so we don’t have to face anyone or any questions from your family and also Spencer who lives next door to you.’’

I laugh. Just a stupid misunderstanding! She joins in with me and grabs my hand as we head back to our cars. We jump in hers and decide to come and get mine tomorrow morning.

I open the group chat, loads of messages from the girls flood Em’s and I’s phones. All wondering where we are asking us to tell them as soon as we can

 

AD: Hey sorry! Em wasn’t there… so i stayed

HM: What?!?! Where is she?!?! i will personally beat the crap out of her! Answer your damn phone Fields!!!

AM: Sorry Ali :/

SH: Come over, we can have ice cream and binge watch the bachelor?

EF: I wasn't there when she got there guys!

SH: Finally Emily! We were worried!!! You back to being you? 

AM: What do you mean when she got there?!?!

HM: Emmy!!!! Yay!!!

EF: I mean I was at the pool, Paige came by… and yeah i’m me again… I’m sorry, i promise i’ll make it up to you girls… anyways paige talked to me, she helped and told me to get my girl

AD: I got my girl! xxx

HM: I knew it #emisonisendgame!!! :* 

AM: Seriously han? you already gave them a ship name :p

SH: You’re weird Hanna!

AM: Btw I think you owe me 10$ it took them more than a week!! XD

AD: Wtf Aria?! Did you guys bet on us???

HM: YUP!!! :) :) :) :) :) btw i’ve had a ship name for them since em told us about her feelings for ali like a year ago!!! XD

SH: Unbelievable! hey where’s your other half gone, ali?

AD: Driving us to her house

HM: Fine Aria but new bet! They’re doing it tonight!!!

AM: You're on! they won't! 

AD: You've won already Ar! Em and I are just gonna chill and Netflix

HM: Haha!!!! LOL!!! XD You’ve been gone a while Ali… Do you know what chill and Netflix means?

SH: I want to be in on these bets guys! feeling left out here

AD: Watching a film Hanna… I don’t get it

HM: Actually now it means having sex so… I won the bet!!!

AM: No you haven’t! They havent done it!

AM: Awe! Sorry Spence! Team Sparia it up with me?

HM: What?! NO! Team Hannily can’t compete!!!

AD: You guys came up with names for yourselves?! I really missed a lot didn't I :(

SH: Sorry sis! But you’re emison now? so who cares your name is worth something :)

AM: you mean Sparia doesn’t mean anything to you? :( hurtful

SH: course it does! its just not on the same level

AD: nice save Spencer haha!!!

EF: Ali, get off your phone, we’re here. bye girls talk tomorrow! we’re not texting you tonight, our phones will be off so yeah bye bye

HM: They’re totally gonna do it!!!

AD: In your dreams Marin! bye girls see ya tomorrow xxx

 

Em and I walk hand in hand to her house. Our hands fit perfectly and I feel so giddy just to know she’s by my side. It all feels so natural… I can’t help smiling

‘’ What you so happy about?’’ I look over at my wonderful.. My wonderful… I frown realising I don't know what we are or how to finish that sentence

‘’Ok… That was a fast mood change! What’s wrong? Do I have food in my teeth? Is something wrong’’ She glances at me perplexed

‘’ Emily Catherine Fields… Will you do the incredible honour of being my girlfriend?’’ I manage to ask eventually, that took a lot of courage… it used to be so easy for me to ask anyone out, but then Emily was far from being just anyone!

Even though her skin was tanned I can see her blush a deep shade of red as she pulls me in close and touched our foreheads together.

‘’The honour is all mine’’ She kisses me short and quick but full of passion still. I will never get over this feeling, I think to myself

‘’ So what do you want to do?’’ She questions

As if on cue, I hear my stomach grumble… I haven't eaten since lunch… I guess she heard it too

‘’ Shall I order a pizza?’’ She winks and grabs the phone. My! She’s adorable!!!

 

Emily’s POV

I can’t help but sound overly chipper when I order our pizza! The guy probably thought something was wrong with me but I don’t care! I am dating the Alison DiLaurentis! I am in a relationship with the most perfect human being ever… Wow, I never thought this would happen! 

After putting the phone back down I walk up to my room to see Ali putting a DVD in my TV.

‘’ Hey, what are we watching?’’ I ask as I plop down on the bed and she sits next to me, close but not close enough.

‘’ Christian said he'd call the next day, but in boy time that meant Thursday.’’  
she smirks at me. Of course, ‘Clueless’   
‘’It’s still your favourite movie right?’’ she wonders

‘’ You remember’’ I say as I pull her in close. She tenses up at first but then I slowly feel her relax into me. We fit perfectly. I love this girl so damn much! She snuggles up to me as much as possible and rests her head on my shoulder. I give her a quick kiss on the head and press play. This feels right.

 

* An hour and a half later*

The credits were now rolling on the screen and Ali’s breath is steady. She’s nuzzled up against me making it impossible for me to move. Which I won’t complain about because having Ali glued to my side has always been my dream. I reach for the blanket without trying to move to much and cover us with it because we’re sitting on the covers. I should of thought ahead really and gotten into the covers before we watched the movie but never mind.

I stare at her heart-shaped face. She is gorgeous. I could just stay here forever, with her by my side. I wouldn’t need anything else. I can’t believe what I let myself miss out on. All because of stupid 15 year old insecurities. I’m 17 now and in a couple months I’ll be graduating. And I ran away from my problems. I ran away from my heart. 

I need to make it up to her, to them. I haven’t apologised yet and I know just saying sorry would not be enough, even if they knew why I did it. I acted like a bitch towards them, and that’s not what best friends do. Really not! I know I have to do something incredible to make it up to her especially! I just don’t know what. I’ll figure that out tomorrow morning, it’s late and I’ve had a long day. A really long day. I reach for the blanket at the end of my bed, making sure not to move too much so that Ali doesn’t wake. I lay it on us, hold her tight and close my eyes. Finally, the girl of my dreams is not only there but her too. I could sleep happy.


	13. When You Hold Me, It's So Powerful

Alison’s POV

I wake up with my head on Emily’s chest curled up in a ball. I keep my eyes closed I want this moment to last. I want to soak it all in. I’m so happy right now there’s no way for me to explain this.

Suddenly I hear whispers

‘’Awww they look so cute!’’

‘’Keep it down Hanna!’’

‘’Sheesh Spencer calm down’’

‘’Guys I think we should leave before they wake up’’

‘’ But Aria… Look how cute they are!’’

This is embarrassing… I open my eyes and stare down the girls, they’re trying to push Hanna to the door.

‘’Seriously girls? What are you doing here?’’

‘’ Shit! Hey Ali! Can you walk straight?’’ Hanna giggles and winks

‘’Wh—? Hanna! We watched Clueless and fell asleep’’ I whisper I don’t want to wake Em up, I’m surprised she hasn’t already to be honestly

‘’Really?’’

‘’Really Hanna! Now get out!’’

‘’ Sorry’’ Aria says as her and Spencer try to push Hanna through the door

‘’ Oh I get morning action you go Ali!!!’’

Ok now I’m really getting annoyed ‘’ GET OUT!’’ I yell at Hanna throwing a pillow at her

‘’ Woah what??? What is happening?’’ Em wakes with a start. Damn that morning voice is hot! I can’t help but bite my lip

‘’ Sorry sweetie… Our stupid best friend is being well herself!’’

Emily lets out a light chuckle and looks over to where the girls stand in the door area. Man, even in the morning she looks beautiful, sexy and cute all rolled into one! She gets up all of a sudden and basically runs to them. 

‘’ I’m so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry!!!’’ she cries grabbing them all in a tight hug.

‘’Hey, it’s okay… Emily, you’re okay’’ Spencer tells her whilst Aria strokes her hair. They brake apart. Emily drags them into the room and indicates them to sit on her bed. 

‘’ I’m a fool. I’m so sorry for how I treated you! I didn’t mean any of the words I used against you. I just wanted to figure things out and I thought I needed space to do that but I was wrong. I didn’t need to figure things out, I knew what I wanted. I was just so scared of it that I didn’t allow myself to go with my heart. But still in the process, I said things that were just plain bitchy. I’m so sorry for being a bitch to you and if that ever happens again slap me, but don’t send Hanna cause her slaps are very painful’’ She laughs although she’s teary-eyed, all the emotions she’d been pushing aside for the past couple of weeks catching up to her. 

‘’ We love you, Em. We know that wasn’t you. It’s okay. Just don’t do it again, cause not seeing you everyday is just not right!’’ Aria smiles

‘’Yeah!’’ Spencer says with a tear rolling down her face

‘’ Hanna?’’ Em looks at her, she hasn’t said anything

‘’ Han, I know I probably hurt you a lot and you have no idea how hard it was for me to say those words. When you left my house that day I cried for 3 hours straight because I’d just done the worst thing imaginable… I’m so so sorry. Team Hannily for the win?’’ Em is doubtful. I heard what she told Hanna and it sucked, it really was horrible.

‘’Team Hannily all the way bitch!’’ Hanna yells and jumps at Emily’s neck, taking her in a warm embrace! We all go up and group hug yet again. This is nice! It’s so normal and average! It’d be a while since that had happened.

‘’ So what were you planning on cooking this morning, Emily?’’ Hanna questions seriously

‘’ Seriously, Hanna? ‘’ I look at her an eyebrow raised

‘’ What? I’m hungry!’’ Hanna whines as we all burst out laughing

‘’ Em, do you have things to make waffles or pancakes?’’ Spencer asks

‘’ Yeah, it’s all in the kitchen’’ my girlfriend answers. My girlfriend! I love saying that! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend! My girlfriend!

‘’ Ok cool, well let’s go and make pancakes then!’’ Aria joins in and goes out the door dragging Hanna with her and Spencer following behind. Emily closes the door behind them and then looks at me. God! She was so beautiful! I can’t believe she’s mine

‘’ What are you smiling about?’’ she wonders

‘’ You’’ I say in a ‘duh’ tone

‘’ Haha! You’re adorable!’’ She walks to me and kisses me lightly on the lips and then walks off towards her window and turns on the TV.

‘’ Tease much?’’ I scoff as I place myself between her and the TV

‘’ Hey Ali could you move please? I’m trying to watch.’’ Oh so she wants to play that game

‘’ Yeah sure sweetie’’ I move away and sit a the opposite end of her window area

 

Emily’s POV

I frown. That’s not where I saw this going, at all actually… I stare at her quizzically she’s looking at the screen with a slight smirk on her face. Oh OK… She’s playing me. 

‘’Thanks baby!’’ I say with a wide smile and just stay where I am

‘’ No worries’’ her tone confused. From the corner of my eye, I see her staring at me licking her lips. Damn that is just so hot! She starts to inch closer to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and places a hand on my thigh… Shit! She’s good! She just stays there, glancing over at me every now and then licking her lips and looking at my own lips.

Aaggh!!! Fuck it!

I grab her face and kiss her. Kissing her is amazing. It’s like the 4th July trapped inside another 4th July, that’s how many fireworks I see! Her hand moves from my thigh to my waist and I put my arms around her neck, pulling her as close to me as can be! As our tongues fight for dominance, she lets out a small moan. So hot!!!

She pulls away slightly, her cheeks are flushed with… embarrassment? 

‘’ Sorry’’ She breathes

‘’ Sorry? about what?’’ I’m confused right now. Who apologises about such a hot make out session?

‘’ I got a bit carried away…’’ she whispers looking away

‘’ Hey it’s fine’’ I say as I grab her chin and make her face me. Wow, her eyes are so gorgeous I could just lose myself in them forever… ‘’ I love you and if anything I thought it was hot!’’ I say looking down… I’d never been one to say those things, she brings out this fire in me, this need for her.

Her lips crash back into mine. I smile into it and I feel her smiling as well. Damn! I love kissing her! Every time is better than the last!

‘’ Oh Sorry!’’ we turn our heads to see Hanna in the doorway just staring at us with a wide grin on her face ‘’ Didn’t mean to interrupt your sexy time!’’ She winks

‘’ Ugh… I’m not even gonna try. What do you want Hanna?’’ Alison asks her voice shaky, she’s trying to catch her breath  
‘’ Pancakes are done!’’ Hanna chimes and turns around. I get up and pull Ali with me. We head downstairs our fingers intertwined. Before we enter the kitchen, I turn around and give her a quick peck on the lips.

‘’ I love you’’ I whisper  
‘’ I love you too’’ she smizes (A/N smile with your eyes)

As soon we walk in, I suddenly feel nothing in my hand. I look over at her questioningly and see the girls also have puzzled looks on their faces.

‘’ Sorry’’ she mutters and grabs my hand again ‘’ Bad habit… I… It’s just… I’m new to this and…’’

‘’ Ali, are you gay or not?’’ Hanna asks

‘’ What does that have to do with anything?’’ I quiz

‘’ Em! Think for two seconds! Alison’s been gone for 2 years and she’s just come back she hasn’t come out but she’s with you and only we know. So I think it’s a good place to start she’s clearly not comfortable about something’’ Hanna answer in a matter of fact tone

‘’ You’re full of surprises did you know that Han?’’ Spencer tells her

‘’ So anyway, Ali?’’ Aria enquires

‘’ I don’t know… I mean the only girl I’ve ever had feelings for was Em… Actually the only person I’ve ever had feelings for is Em’’ She realises her eyebrows doing that cute little scrunching thing she always does when she’s thinking about something

‘’ Awwww! You’re Emisexual!!!’’ Hanna smiles

‘’ She’s what?’’ I say in utter bewilderment at what I just heard

‘’ She only cares for Emily, she’s Emisexual’’ Hanna giggles

‘’ I like the sound of that’’ Alison smiles up at me and gives me a quick peck on the lips

‘’ OK, you guys are too adorable!’’ Aria says gleefully

We let out a light chuckle and settle around the kitchen counter taking our pancakes

‘’ Thanks guys for everything’’ Alison says in a loving tone ‘’ I’m so happy I get the privilege of calling you my best friends because you are the best people ever! I love you all so much! You are awesome!’’

‘’ Awwwww! We love you too Ali!’’ Hanna says before stuffing her mouth with a pancake!!!

We all laugh! This is nice! I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend and awesome friends! Everything is good in the world!


	14. Two Can Keep A Secret If One Of Them Is Dead

*monday morning*

Alison’s POV

Ugh… I didn't want to go to school. At least I get to see Em! After breakfast Saturday, we all spent the day together. We hadn't really had a chance to hang out together since that sleepover so it was nice. I had to go home though afterwards, because I had homework to do on Sunday and I’d started going to church too. When you’re on the run from someone who desperately wants you dead, it’s good to have something/someone there, a force outside to turn to.   
I haven’t told my parents about Emily… Hell, I haven’t even told them about being… Bi? Gay? I don’t know. I mean Emily is really the only person I’ve ever had feelings for but from my past its clear to see I’m attracted to guys or was? This is doing my head in! I’m not sure I’m ready for the school to know though… I love Emily with all my heart but how are people going to react when they hear the previously bitchy Queen Bee now become nice Queen Bee is dating a girl… I know that’s what got me in this mess with Em in the first place but I’m still trying to readjust and fit in again. It’s easier with the girls by my side true, but doesn't mean I’m ready to come out of Emily’s closet. I need to tell Emily how I feel that’s for sure but how do I say it without hurting her.

A car honks outside my window, I look out to see Spencer waiting for me. She’s my neighbour and my ride which is nice, it gives us time together to bond and catch-up. I have this kind of one-on-one time with all the girls. Aria is in my art class and Hanna and I have weekly shopping trips, which really just consist of window shopping but still.

I check myself in the mirror one more time, my hair is curled, I’ve applied light make-up, I’m wearing white skinny jeans, a pink tank top and a light blue blazer above. I grab my bag from my chair and run outside to the car.

——————————————————————————————————

When we pull up at school, Emily and Aria are already there. As we walk up to them, I see Emily walk towards me a big grin on her face, her arms outstretched as if coming in for a hug. 

‘’ Em, can we talk please? it’s nothing bad I promise, sweetie!’’ I say grabbing one of her arms and pulling her away from everyone so people can’t hear us.

‘’ Yeah sure’’ She mumbles, clearly confused at what is happening. I make sure we’re not too close so that people don't wonder what’s going on. I can’t believe I’m still scared of people’s judgements… I need to get over that

‘’ I don’t think I’m ready to let the school know about us…’’ I say ashamed, staring at the ground.

‘’ Hey Ali… It’s alright, don’t worry! I mean it took me long enough to come out’’ She chuckles and I look up at her, still ashamed of hiding who I am ‘’ It’s fine ok… When you’re ready, you’re ready! I get it, as long as when we’re away from school, I still get to be with you and as long as it’s just you and me I’m happy!’’ She smiles, I’m still worried though, what if she’s saying this just because… What if she doesn’t mean it???

She checks to see no one is around us and as if she understands what I’m thinking, she leans in and whispers ‘’ I love you, Alison Lauren DiLaurentis and nothing will ever change that!’’ I grin widely and blush at the love of my life’s words and give her a quick peck on the cheek

‘’ Friends can link arms though right?’’ I say

‘’ Yeah, we do it all the time’’ she beams. Gosh, I love this girl so much! We walk back to the girls who look at us inquisitively 

‘’ It’s fine girls! Alison and I are friends at school! She’s not ready to tell.’’ Em mentions

‘’ Oh OK. Well then girls, let’s go to class cause we have test in English this morning.’’

‘’Honestly Aria, I don’t get why you don’t just ask Fitz for the answers!’’ Hanna complains

‘’ Hanna! It’s not right especially with what’s happened now!’’ Aria grumbles

‘’ Fine! Fine!’’ Hanna mumbles as we walk in to class. I laugh lightly at Hanna who has no filter!

——————————————————————————————————  
Emily’s POV

I was in history when I get a text.

AD: Meet me in the restrooms in 5 ;)

She can’t be serious?! Haha! That’s just so adorable! I ask the teacher for a hall pass and make my way to the Ladies.

As soon as I walk in I’m attacked by a pair of lips. I melt into the kiss. Our lips move perfectly together, like they know each other. I slide my tongue on her bottom lip begging for entrance which she permits! Damn, this is so hot! I reach behind me and fumble to lock the door. If she doesn't want people to know, someone walking in right now will most definitely destroy that.

‘’ I’ve missed you!’’ she breathes against my lips

‘’ Clearly’’ I smirk

‘’ Oh look at who’s gotten all cocky!’’ she scoffs playfully. I look down blushing, shy that I’d just said that…  
‘’ Hey don’t look away! I like cocky Emily! It’s sexy!’’ She whispers in my ear and pulls me in for another kiss. It’s so full of passion and love, it’s the perfect mix and match. I grab her legs as she wraps them around my waist and walk around the sinks and put her on her counter. She keeps her legs around my waist and wraps her arms around my neck pulling me in as much as she can. My hands are on her thighs going up and down. I can feel my centre heat up by the second.

‘’ Mhm… Babe, as much as this is great, we should get back to class and honestly I’m getting a little too hot under the collar and I’m seconds from breaking’’ I wink at her. She was turning me on so much right now, her skinny jeans moulding her butt perfectly and her blue eyes gone dark with lust! I really want to take her right there right now! 

‘’ Babe?’’ she cocks her eyebrow up at me

‘’ Sorry… If you don’t like it, I can call yo-‘’ she cuts me off by giving me a quick peck on the lips

‘’ I love it sweetie! And I love you’’ I grin shyly at that

‘’ Well then BABE’’ I emphasise ‘’ let’s go back to class I’ll see you later at lunch’’ 

‘’ I guess you’re right! Things were getting really intense’’ she says as she walks out the door. She walks me back to my classroom, gives me a quick kiss and walks away. I can’t help but stare at her perfectly shaped butt! Still can’t believe she’s all mine! As she turns the corner, she gives me a wink and I blush. She’s perfect.

——————————————————————————————————

*Lunchtime*

I go to our table and see that as usual Ali is late. I sit with the girls and we just chat about random things for a few minutes.

‘’ Em… Do you mind if I ask how you feel about this whole pretending to be friends things?’’ Spencer asks

‘’ There’s nothing to say.’’ I reply dryly… I don’t like where this is going

‘’ Em, one of the reasons you were scared of dating Ali was having to be someone you’re not again and hide’’ Aria adds

‘’ I know and I said a lot of other things two weeks ago that I shouldn't have! Listen I’ve been in her position. I was dating Maya way before I came out! And I know how she feels… I’m not saying I’m happy about but I do understand it. Look, I’m going to try and convince to at least tell her family this week but I won’t push it for school.’’

‘’ If you say you’re fine’’ Spencer says

‘’ Listen, you were the ones to tell me to let her settle into her life again before I do anything rash or whatever so that’s what I’m doing OK! Can we just drop it now?’’ I let out exasperated

‘’ Geez what crawled up your butt this morning?’’ Hanna mocks

‘’ Who’s butt?’’ a voice behind me says. Ali. Obviously she has to show up now.

‘’ Mine.’’ I answer with a somewhat frustrated tone

‘’ What’s wrong sweetie?’’ She says sitting down, holding my arm. I move it away fast

‘’ Nothing’’ I mutter. ‘’ Just that ‘d like to kiss you right now but i can’t because you’re scared’’ I say really really fast under my breath

‘’What did you say?’’ crap she heard

‘’ Just that I’d missed this all of us at lunch’’ I make up. The look she throws at me let me know she doesn’t believe it but she lets it go.

I stay there for 10 minutes eating my lunch. I excuse myself and head to the library. I love her but I can’t show it. And right now it’s difficult for me to rein the mix of love I feel for her and anger I feel towards her because I can’t love her the way I want. And I know it’s not her fault, it just hurts to feel like she’s ashamed of being with me. I know it sounds stupid. I know that’s not what she thinks. But that’s how it feels. She’s ashamed of being gay. She’s gay because she’s with me. I.e she’s ashamed being with me. 

I go to the classics section and pick up THE book. I open it to THE quote. It was cheesy and sad and hopeless but it was ours. It’s a piece of us and that’s all I need right now.

‘’I loved her against reason, against promise, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be’’


	15. Against Happiness

Aria’s POV

I get up from the table ‘’ Hey, I just realised I forgot to ask Em something for some History homework we have! I’ll catch you guys later! Bye!’’ I say waving at them, running after Emily. Hanna and Spencer most likely know what I was up to so they’ll keep Alison busy. I feel so sorry for Em though. We went too far. But we had to check in with her. We didn't want her to feel like she couldn’t talk to us about her feelings because that’s what she did the first time and it didn’t go to well for any of us… 

I try to find her, I go to the swimming pool, the gymnasium, the restrooms nowhere. I walk past the library. I doubt she’ll be in here, but it’s worth a shot. I’m walking through the shelves when I see long tanned legs sticking out of and aisle. No doubt, those super model legs are Emily’s. I walk over to her.

‘’ Hey’’ I say gently ‘’ Watcha reading?’’ she looks up at me

‘’ Great Expectations’’ she smiles. I remember the sleepover, when her and Ali were laughing about the book together. I pieced the puzzle together

‘’ It’s your thing isn't it?’’ I slide down next to her. She nods slightly tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes. It tears me apart to see Emily like this. I wrap my arm around her and let her rest her head on my shoulder.   
‘’ It’s okay, Em. I got you’’ I hold her for a few minutes, neither of us saying a word. She’s stuck her neck out so much for Ali already. But Ali needs time to understand this new situation and to get used to it. ‘’ I know you’re scared Em. Just remember that Ali loves you. She still needs to understand and get used to finally having the girl of her dreams there for her. She’s so lucky to have you, Emily, and I’ll bet you anything she can’t believe she got so lucky! Give her a bit more time to process it.’’

‘’ I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just having her so close to me and having to restrain myself fro being with her… It got unbearable. I mean you know how that feels right?’’ Yeah I remember. I remember when I dated my teacher who also happened to be the ex of my ‘dead’ best friend and who was really just writing a book about her and us. I nod. ‘’ I just wanted so bad to just kiss her. Or even just hold her hand but I can’t. And it kills me. But you’re right it’s only been a couple of days! She’ll tell people soon enough right?’’

‘’ Yeah I’m sure she will!’’ I voice

‘’ Does Ali think something’s up?’’ Emily worries

‘’ No don’t worry we told her something about you finding out you couldn’t be in the swim meet this Friday because Coach wanted to make sure you’d made a full recovery’’ I say brightly

‘’ I need to make it up to her. I still haven't apologised to her about the things I’ve said for the past two weeks. Every time I try she just cuts me off, she says it’s fine but it’s not. What do I do, Aria?’’

‘’ Show her. Don’t tell her. Show her. Take her out for dinner or something.’’ She gazes up at me brightly.

‘’ That’s such a great idea! Thanks! Have I ever told you you’re awesome?!’’ I laugh and get up pulling her with me

‘’ Now come on, we’ve got to get to class and then we can organise that dinner. Okay? ‘’ 

‘’ Okay. Thanks for everything, Aria’’ I smile at her and we head out the library and back to class

—————————————————————————————————— 

* a day later around 6pm*

Emily’s POV

After class, yesterday Aria came to house and we made a booking for a restaurant but in Ravenswood so that there were less chances of us seeing someone from school and Ali and I didn’t have to hide. I was taking her to a french themed restaurant where I’m going to give her a necklace with a medallion with the Eiffel tower on it and I payed extra to have Forever engraved behind it the same day. 

I wasn’t sure of what to wear so I I just put my black skinny jeans, a burgundy top and my electric blue blazer on top. Shoes. Damn… black converse sorted. I apply a little more make up than usual and curl my hair. As soon as I’m done I rush out with my bag with the necklace inside and tell my mum I’m going to dinner with girls. As soon as I get in my car I text my gorgeous girlfriend.

EF: I’ve got a surprise for you! I’ll be at your house in 10 mins! Be dressed and ready to go out! But nothing to fancy, love! :* <3

AD: Emily Fields?! What are you planning?!?!?!

I don’t answer her. I like having her wondering what on earth is happening. I drive to her house. And knock on the door. Mrs DiLaurentis opens

‘’ Oh hi Em! Ali said you’d be coming by! Ali! Emily is here’’ she yells from the bottom of the stairs ‘’Be there in a minute!’’ I hear Ali answer from her room  
‘’How are you?’’  
‘’ I’m good thanks! Yeah, sorry for the late notice. The girls and I decided last minute to go out for dinner tonight in Ravenswood.’’ I half-lie

‘’ Ravenswood? Why that far?’’ Mrs D worries

‘’ Get away from here for the night. You know just so we don't see people from school and so it can really feel like it’s just us.’’

‘’ Oh OK then’’ she seems reassured enough that she won’t ask any questions. 

I’m still standing in the doorway when I see Ali walk down the stairs. She was in a simple black skirt with a tight floral tank top that had greyish looking roses of various sizes on a beige background on them and her Stan Smith trainers and she looks hot! Her blue eyes look fierce surrounded by black eyeliner and the heavy mascara she had applied. Gosh! SHE IS SMOKING! I can’t but smile like a fool!

‘’ Ah there you are Alison!’’ Mrs Di snapped me back to reality she was facing her daughter and I hope she didn't see the way I was just gawking at her daughter! That would be so embarrassing!!!

‘’ Yeah sorry! But I’m here now!’’

‘’ Well we should go Ali! We don’t want the girls to be waiting for us!’’ I say smiling at her. She throws me a questioning glance not understanding why I mention the girls!

‘’ Say hit to them for me, girls!’’ Mrs Di chirps from the door as Ali and I walk off the porch

‘’ Will do Mum!’’ Ali waves back as we get in the car. As soon we are inside she looks at me daringly

‘’ It’s just tonight! The girls aren't here! We’re going out of town for dinner, so you won’t have to worry about people seeing us together!’’ I say really quickly grabbing a hold of her hand

‘’ So wait like on a date?!’’ She grins hugely

‘’ No. Not like a date. A date.’’ I say plainly. We’re still parked in front of her house

She looks around outside quickly before pulling me in for kiss. It only last a few seconds, but it didn’t stop it from feeling great!

‘’ Have I ever told you how much I love you, Emily?’’

‘’ I don’t remember’’ I chuckle as I start the car

‘’ Well then’’ she leans over and places a hand at the very very top of my thigh ‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields’’ she whispers seductively in my ear. I feel myself blush hard and it takes me a few moment before I muster the strength to answer ‘’ I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’ 

——————————————————————————————————

The drive there was nice. Alison kept demanding to know where we were going but I would always just start singing along to whatever was on the radio. We held hands pretty much the whole way here. It was nice. We hadn’t done that in so long, I’d almost forgotten how soft her skin was and they fit my hand like a glove. I am so happy right now. Nothing can ruin that.

We walk up to the restaurant 

‘’ From Paris with Love’’ Alison reads the name of it. She looks at me giddily and her eyes are full of those little sparkles she gets when she gets excited it’s so cute!

‘’ From Emily with Love’’ I answer holding the door open. ‘’ Hello there table for two under Fields’’

‘’ Yes right this way Mesdames’’ A waiter says whilst guiding us to our table in a corner

‘’ Wow Emily! This is so nice! You said nothing fancy!’’

‘’ I know! It’s not what I expected but you still look beautiful!’’

‘’ Sh! Stop Emily don’t say that!’’ Ali blushes

‘’ What? It’s true!’’ I protest

‘’ Em! If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were flirting with me!’’ Ali smirks looking around… but not her new smirk… uh oh! No this can't be good! I’d recognise that smirk anywhere. That’s the HBIC smirk, the I’ve got you where I want you smirk!

‘’ Ali…’’ I whisper ‘’ Why are you doing this it’s just us here… There’s no one we know’’

‘’ I’m sorry Emily, it’s just really hard for me.’’ She answers pain in her eyes

‘’ Yeah sure’’ Well that just puts a downer on the whole evening and I’m guessing I can’t give her the necklace here. Great

‘’ Good Evening! Before I hand you the menus I was wondering if you would like the Couple Menu, which is mainly food sharing.’’ our waiter tells us

‘’ Oh we’re not a couple’’ empty. lost. hurt. pain. anger. heartbreak. I can’t believe she said that and with such ease and confidence too! 

‘’ My mistake then, here are the menus! And might I add you look stunning!’’ He says winking at Ali. 

‘’ Thank you!’’ she smiles. I’m fuming. How could she?! She didn't have to say it like that! It even seemed natural when she said it. I was looking at her in complete disappointment and anger.

‘’ I’m sorry’’ she whispers ‘’ I’m not ready at all’’ she says simply

I ignore her and look at the menu, holding back the tears that are threatening to fall. I knew she would just end up playing me again!!!

The nights goes on. The waiter flirts shamelessly with Ali and not once does she turn him down or push him away. Ali and I make light conversation throughout the dinner, mainly silent. I’m so mad at her right now!!!  
We’re away from Rosewood so we don’t have to hide! It feels more like she’s hiding me now and not who she is… And that hurts like hell. I mean she can act like we aren’t together but why does she have to say it and flirt with the waiter whenever he comes along. Every time the waiter flirts with her and she plays along I feel a hole being punched in my heart. And the holes just keep on getting deeper. This shouldn’t be what relationship feels like. It shouldn't make me so mad and sad at the same time. I don’t feel any happiness right now. I knew it would be difficult but not this difficult. Is this right? Are we really mean to be?

With the way she’s acting I don’t know anymore. If she truly loved me then she would at least try. Right? Right?


	16. Against Hope

Ali’s POV

Emily was silent throughout pretty much the whole of dinner. We’re now in the car and she hasn’t said anything. She’s clearly deep in thought. 

‘’ Dinner was really nice’’ I tempt

‘’ Mhmm’’ She approves but nothing more. 

I know I acted horribly but I don’t want people judging me. I know I shouldn't care but I’m human. Unlike Em. She’s a goddess. She’s gorgeous. She’s smart. She’s athletic. She’s kind. She’s loving. She’s caring. She’s loyal. She clearly doesn't care about others opinions. It’s one of the many reasons I love her. But it hurts me to know that I’m incapable of showing her because I’m scared of others.

We’re outside my house now. She makes no effort to move from her seat or to say goodbye to me. I look at her worried. I know I screwed up but come on

‘’ Em, I’m so sorry about tonight. I know it didn't go as you’d planned and I really wi-‘’

‘’ Don’t.’’ she interrupts ‘’ Don’t even try. Do you know why I did this Alison?’’ This isn't good she only calls me by my full name when she’s mad, disappointed or hurt. I knew right now it was all three and I felt terrible. I shake my head no to her question

‘’ Because I was trying to make it up to you for being a bitch to you! Cause every time I tried to say sorry you’d cut me off and I know you would never hear me out so I tried showing you instead. This was meant to be my apology. And just like every other fucking attempt I make, you make sure it blows up in my face! Do you even bloody realise how much I love you? I booked a restaurant outside of town so I could show you how much I do!’’ tears are falling down my face as her eyes flare up in anger. ‘’ I took you there so for one night, just one fucking night, you could feel like this is right, understand that this is right’’ she says gesturing her hand between the both of us 

‘’ I’m so sorry Emily! I tried so hard but I felt like everyone was watching and judging! I don’t know how you do it! Please Emily I really need you here by my side to help me through this!!!’’ I’m sobbing uncontrollably right now

‘’ Alison’’ she says, her voice softer but still a little rough ‘’ I get that it’s gonna take time ok? I get that! I just wished that you’d at least held back on flirting with the waiter’’ she grimaces ‘’ that comment when you said we weren't a couple it hurt but I got it, I understood but then when you shamelessly flirted in front of me with him it killed me Alison’’ her voice had become harsh again but her eyes had become puppy-like, the pain in them wrenching my guts at the disappointment I felt within myself for doing this to her ‘’ I love you, Ali. And that’s why it hurt so damn much.’’

‘’ I love you too, Emily. It’s just - I - just that- well’’ I fumble over my words not sure of what I’m about to say

‘’What is it, Alison? Please just spit it out.’’ She whimpers

‘’ I’m new to all this Emily! When you picked me up tonight all I could think of was how much you looked good and how I just wanted to kiss you right there and then but I saw my mother and I got embarrassed. When we got to the restaurant I realised just how serious our relationship is. I got scared. Scared because I’ve never felt like this for anyone. Scared because I don’t want people to judge me. That’s why I flirted it was a way for me to feel safe and I know it sounds stupid. I know what I did was wrong and I feel like rubbish for doing that to you, to us but I just need time.’’

‘’ And I’m giving you time Ali! I just don’t want you to push me away in the process!’’ I’m about to protest but she puts her hand up in front of her ‘’That may not be what you think you’re doing but it sure as hell feels like that! ’’ she yells. Silence takes over the car. ‘’ I want this to work so badly, you don’t know the half of it. I have dreamed of this day ever since we were 15 Alison! And you’re here right in front of me but I can’t do anything. I know coming out of the closet is hard. I fell out straight on my face, but I was so much happier when I did have to hide myself anymore. I won’t give you random speech about love and support because you don’t need it. You know it already. All you have to do is just accept it. Realise no one is out to get you. I took you to Ravenswood tonight to show you there is nothing wrong about us, I guess you just couldn't see it in the same light as me. I wanted you to myself tonight, Alison. I wanted to see my girlfriend. But I saw a friend instead.’’

I don’t know what to say. I just look at her. I don’t know what to do or say from here so I open the door and gaze at her ‘’ Goodnight Emily.’’ I step out of her car  
‘’ Goodnight Alison…’’ she whispers in sorrow. I close the car door and start to walk to my porch when I hear a car door open and slam

‘’ Alison! Wait!’’ I turn around to see Emily walking up to me  
‘’Here’’ She hands me a jewellery box and an envelope. I raise my eyebrows at her. ‘’ It’s what I was going to give you on our date but…well it didn't feel right then.’’ I look down at the box, not sure whether to open it now or not ‘’I love you, Alison’’ I look up at her ‘’ You and me in sweet Paris’’ she smiles sadly 

‘’ I love you too Emily’’ I call out dolefully as she gets back into her car and drives away. 

As soon as I’m in my house and walk up to my bedroom and close the door behind me. I sit on my bed looking at the box in front of me and the letter that I had laid next to it. 

I reach for the box first and open it.

I gasp. It’s a beautiful thin silver necklace with a medallion the Eiffel Tower on it. I smile now understanding why she’d repeated those words I had once told her, a long time ago. I hold it in my hand twisting the medallion around when something catches my eye. There’s something written at the back.

Forever. 

A tear slowly makes its way down my cheek. Ugh! She went through all this trouble and I wasn't even capable of acting like a decent human being, I wasn't even capable of just being there. I had to flirt with some guy I wasn't even interested in right in front of her! I stare at the letter. Hesitant at whether or not this is the right time to open it.  
Ah! Screw it!

I open it preparing myself for whatever I’m about to read

 

Hey babe,

I love you. I think thats the first thing I should say before I get into this letter. I need you to know how amazing you are. You are beautiful yet sexy yet pretty yet hot! Makes sense? I look at you and think ‘ How on earth can anyone be this perfect’. I don't know what I did to deserve you.

How I’ve treated you for the past two weeks was goddamn awful and I hate myself for it. You might’ve forgiven me but I will never forgive myself. I was so confused. I loved you so much I didn’t know what was happening to me. I still love you so much. When we kiss I finally understand what people mean when they say they finally feel complete. I hate how I acted towards you. It was so cruel. So uncalled for. I love you so much Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. I don’t ever want you to forget that. No matter what happens. I’ll always be there for you. 

You are so amazing and I feel like the luckiest human being to be able to call you mine. I don't understand how out of all the people in the world you chose me but I will spend the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am that you did.

I love you Alison, forever and always

Your Killer xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

Tears fall down onto the letter as I re-read it multiple times. I hate myself so much right now.

I grab my phone from my nightstand and scroll through my contacts until I reach ‘’ Killer :* ‘’

‘’ Please pick up…’’ I whisper to myself 

‘’ Alison?! What’s wrong?! Why are you calling? What happened?’’ She sounds so worried. I hate myself more by the second

AD: What did I do to deserve someone as perfect as you… 

EF: I ask myself that everyday

AD: I read it. I love you so much. I’m so sorry about tonight, about everything! I promise I will find a way to make it up to you. You don’t even know how happy you make me. The gift… It’s just… It’s incredible… I still can’t believe you remember

EF: How couldn't I? I remember every conversation we have Ali

AD: I love you forever and always my Mermaid

EF: I love you too princess,I wish I could stay on the phone all night but well my mum isn't very happy about the time I got home so I need to go

AD: Goodnight sweetie

EF: Goodnight Love

I hang up and lie happily on my bed, my sad tears now happy ones. I get ready for bed. And then just lie there. I put the necklace around my neck and promise myself to never take it off. I lie back down on my bed under the covers and fall into a blissful sleep, a huge grin plastered on my face.


	17. Against All Discouragement That Could Be

Emily’s POV *day after*

Ali and I are on okay terms. She apologised so at least I know she’s not entirely the person she used to be. It still sucks that after everything I did, all the effort I put she couldn't do it but I’ll wait. I can do that right?

Yeah, course I am. As long as last night was the last straw then we’re good.

When I picked her up this morning she was wearing the necklace I got her and grinning ear to ear. She has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. On the whole ride to school we had held hands and I kept stealing glances at her only to find her eyeing me too and we would both laugh at it.

I’m sure. I can wait. If it means getting to be with her then I’ll wait. I won’t push her.

We had just had P.E together and are now heading to lunch together. We’re linking arms and just the feel of her skin makes me nervous. We’re laughing at how terrible she is in sports when suddenly

‘’ Dammit! The two hottest girls at Rosewood High are gay! At least give us a chance, Emily, before turning on your charm and stealing her! I swear all the hot ones are gay in this town!!!’’ a male voice yells from a far. I look for the person who said that. Ben. Ben fucking Coogan. Ugh what a dick!

‘’ Not gay Ben, trust me! I wouldn't tap that in a million years for all the money in the world! But that doesn't mean I’d settle for you!’’ Ali replies with a wink. THE FUCK!!!! Did she seriously just say that! I take my arm away from hers and walk away fast! 

I’ve skipped the heart break and gone straight for the blind fury! Fuck this shit! That’s just too far! Us not being a couple if fine but she didn't have to say that I basically repulse her. I’m not looking where I’m going, all I see is red anger with dark dots of despair blurring my vision. I can’t fucking take this anymore.

‘’Em! Emily! Listen to me! Where are you going?!?! EM!!!’’ Hanna snaps me out of it. She’s standing there in front of me. I realise I walked out of school, which meant I walked by the quad and I didn’t even notice.

‘’ Em! What happened?!’’ Hanna says as if she was in pain

I break down all of a sudden ‘’ Ali…’’ is all I manage to whisper

‘’ What did the bitch do now! I swear I will personally kill her myself!’’ Hanna yells angrily

‘’ Please don’t Hanna! Just let’s forget her… She hasn’t changed. She’s still mean. She’s not worth our time!’’ I tell her as she embraces me in a warm hug

‘’ Ok… come to lunch. We can talk about it or not’’ she says gently breaking away and holding me at arms length

‘’ b-b-but what about A-Alison? Won’t she be there too?!’’ I panic

‘’ No. She was following you and then we stopped her and she said tell her I’m sorry and walked away…’’ I could tell Hanna wasn't sure if she was meant to say that but I don’t care.

‘’ Ok’’ I answer

——————————————————————————————————  
The rest of the day goes by really slowly. I didn’t say much at lunch and the girls just kept general conversation going they could tell I didn't want to talk about it. 

I’m heading to my car, when I see a beautiful blonde leaning against it. Shit! I’d tried to avoid her as best as I could all day. Come on, Em! Be strong! Hold tight! Woman up! You got this.

I walk towards her and open my car, not even acknowledging her presence

‘’ Hey Emily’’ she says in her sweetest voice possible  
I look up at her and give her a small nod as I sit in my car. She opens her own door and gets into the passenger seat. I look at her. 

‘’Um what do you think you're doing?’’ I question her

‘’ Your my ride remember’’ she says clicking her seatbelt into place

‘’ Fine.’’ I say driving away. 

The car ride to her house was silent. I mean she tried talking but I would just turn the volume up louder and ignore her. Seems childish but at this point I don’t give a shit anymore. I can’t decided if I’m more heartbroken or mad about what she said but either way it hurts like a bitch. 

We arrive in front of her house and just like last night I sit there, waiting for her to get out on her own. But she doesn’t. Of course she doesn’t.

‘’Bye Alison’’ I say coldly

‘’ Please Em’’ she begs ‘’ I know I screwed up big! I regretted the words as soon as I said them!’’ 

‘’That doesn't matter Alison!’’ I yell ‘’ What matters is that after last night you still said those words! Do you know how mad I am at you right now?!’’ I face her, my blood is boiling in my veins and my heart pounding in my chest

‘’Please Em! I’m so sorry! Please…’’ her beautiful blue eyes are in tears and it takes all of me to not show weakness. She grabs my hand and her skin is so soft and our hands fit so perfectly.

‘’No Alison!’’ I pull it away ‘’You didn't have to say that! You acted like who used to be and that is not what anyone was expecting of you after what you went through! You make all this speech about how you changed, about how you love me and how it feels so good to admit it but you're not admitting it. To you and me yeah but to the outside world it’s like you and me are two different people, not a couple. It makes me feel like you don’t want this yet you keep assuring me you do. So which one is it, Queen Ali?’’ I say with spite, I know she can detect the anger as I call her by her ‘royal’ name. I said like it was some sort of real title.

‘’ Please, Em! I swear! I do love you! I love you Emily Catherine Fields!’’ it’s like its become our thing but we usually say it when we’re in a good situation not when we’re arguing. ‘’ I thought you understood I wasn’t ready’’

‘’ I understand Alison that you don't want to come out, but this has nothing to do with it! This has to do with the fact that you made fun of me, that you humiliated me in front our school and you don’t even seem to be open to the idea of letting people in on who you are! You’ve made no effort to even try and come to terms with the idea that people will find out about us!’’ 

She leans towards me ‘’ Please Emily… I’m just not ready… Not just yet… I love you’’

‘’ I love you too Alison but I feel like I’m going backwards, like I’m going back into the closet. And I am not going back there again!’’ I take a breath. I know what I have to do. I also know this isn't gonna be nice ‘’ Until you learn how to move forwards I don’t think we should be together… All this hiding is not even a relationship’’ the tears are already falling on my cheeks… The anger rapidly becoming pain and a lot of it. I have the girl of my dreams here right in front of me and I’m tearing us apart. 

‘’ Emily’’ she cries, here eyes using waterfalls ‘’ Please no! Emily! I promise I’ll work with you on it!’’

‘’ I’m sorry Ali’’ I choke and look away from her. It causes me too much pain to see her like that and to know it’s for me and because of me all at the same time just tears me apart.

She give a light kiss on the cheek, gets out of the car and just stands there looking at me through the open window

‘’ I’m sorry Emily’’ she says as I start the engine again

‘’ I’m sorry too Alison’’ I say driving away, wiping the tears from my face best I can

As soon as I got home, I went up to my room and just cried on my bed. That’s all I could do. My heart ached for her. My body ached for her touch. And I ached for her everything. She was-is the the love of my life and I know I can’t be with her. It hurts to know that our love was hidden, but it kills to know we have to hide it from each other. 

——————————————————————————————————

Alison’s POV

She broke up with me. We’re over. All because I’m me. All because I can’t say how I feel to others. All because I’m scared. 

My heart is torn to pieces and all I’ve doing since she left is replaying the few happy moments of our short relationship. The best relationship I’ve ever had. All the others were just people I thought were good looking but I didn’t actually fancy them. But with Emily, it’s as if every time I see her I fall for her again yet more than before at the same time. 

I love her. What have I done?


	18. Against Peace

Ali’s POV * Wednesday next week*

It’s been the worst week of my life and I’ve had pretty shitty last two years. But this week was awful. Hanna doesn’t talk to me anymore, Spencer is no longer my ride at school and Aria and I only talk when we have a class just the two of us none of the other girls. She says she knows she shouldn't be talking to but she’s my friend and friends help each other through hard times. 

I know I fucked up. But I just fell back into bad habits and I regretted it the nanosecond I said it. I hated this. I love her so fucking much and because I’m a conceited hypocritical little miss Queen Bee, I don’t want people to know. That’s the worst part though. I want people to know. It’s their reactions that freak me out the most. I mean I know they were all pretty much ok with Emily coming out but that’s because it’s sweet, gentle, kind, caring Emily; not me.

From where I sit in English right now, I can see her perfectly. I see that she seems tired, hurt and angry. It pains me to be the one that’s caused all that. I hate seeing her in pain, because I then feel double that. Especially at the moment, when, somehow, through all those emotions, she still manages to look the most gorgeous person to have ever walked this earth. Her eyes were a little cloudy though, they’d lost their sparkle. I hate myself.

When the bell rings, I run out of class before all the girls. As I turn the corner I see Noel leaning against my locker. I smile to myself. Noel helped me when I was hiding. Yes we may have hooked up a few times but I stopped it when I knew she was the one. And he understood. He knows about me and Em. He’s my best friend so he was completely okay with it. We changed for the best together me for Emily and him for… I don’t know but from the way he spoke about this mystery girl it was clear he really liked her. Which is sweet really.

‘’ Hey Alison!’’  
‘’ Hey Noel!’’ I smile at him

‘’ Friday night, my cabin, party!’’ he beams, moving away from my locker so I can grab my things for my next class. 

‘’ I don’t know if I’m the mood…’’ I whisper at the ground

‘’ Oh come on Al!’’ he always called me that never Ali… ‘’ for all you know this could help you get your mind off things. We can hang out, have fun! Just like old times! I know you want to go’’ He was right I did want to go. I just didn’t want to go without her. 

‘’ Fine, but your creepy friends better stay away’’ I smirk

‘’ Yes!’’ He says throwing his arm around my shoulders holding me tight to his side. 

 

Emily’s POV

‘’ Yes!’’ I hear Noel shout from across the corridor. Him and Alison had been in a conversation for the past few minutes and I couldn't look away. She didn't seem herself since- since the breakup. She was wearing trainers every day which unless we had sports she never did! And her make-up was almost non-existent and yet she still looked perfect

‘’Em!’’ Hanna snapped her fingers in front of me ‘’ What were you staring at?’’ She says looking in the direction I was a couple seconds ago

‘’ Nothing I was just thinking… Sorry guess I got lost in my thoughts’’ Which isn’t technically a lie because I had been lost in my thoughts whilst staring at the blonde beauty… I stop myself. She was talking to Noel now and that I’d seen him with his arm around her, I didn’t question what was happening with them, the answer killed me.

‘’ So as I was saying there’s a party Friday night? Who’s in?’’ Hanna smiles happily, as Hanna always does

‘’ Me! I think we all deserve it! And this team we don’t have to worry about A ruining it for us!’’ Aria answers

‘’ Agreed!’’ Spencer joins ‘’ Emily? Come on, it could be fun?’’

‘’ Sure, why not… What have I got to lose anyways? definitely not a girlfriend right’’ I attempt a sour joke but they all just look at me with pity

‘’ I’ll be fine guys. Don't worry, I’ve lived without Alison before I can do it again it’s all fine!’’ I try to convince them, it didn’t look like it worked but they don’t add anything after this

‘’ Hey, who’s party is it anyways?’’ I ask curious 

‘’ Um… I dunno…’’ Hanna answers nervously. Okay weird. Whatever. Maybe this time I’d be able to kiss another girl without thinking about her, might steer clear from the any blonds. She was the only blond, the only girl I wanted to be with but I need to forget her and I need to forget out short-lived amazing love.

——————————————————————————————————

Alison’s POV *Friday night beginning of the party*

Love is a dangerous thing you know. It consumes you, turns you into someone you’re not. It brings you to the point where you would do anything just to have them even acknowledge your presence. Love can change you for the better too. That’s what happened with me. I changed for the better for love, for my love. But Love can make you do stupid things, very stupid things. But the worst is when you do that stupid thing, and the one you love can’t see you the way they used too and they shut you out, they shut you out because they’re hurting but the thing it hurts you more to know that it’s because of you and that you could have stopped it, should’ve stopped it. But you just couldn’t.   
Sometimes, you believe you do something out of love for the other but really it’s out of ego, it’s for you to feel like you’ve gained control. That’s what I did and I felt more in loss of control I ever have my entire life. It’s like without her love there there’s nothing for me to fall onto. There’s nothing to catch me. 

And after all that poetic shit let me ruin it.

Tonight, I am getting fucking drunk and letting myself loose! because I am way too bloody miserable and this is a fucking party! 

So I’m already a little bit shit-faced but hey so what?! I’m 17 and single! I wish I wasn’t but I am so fuck it all tonight!!!

Nah, honestly though I’m not that drunk I’m acting like it because Noel’s been worried about me for a week and wanting me to let loose. I’ve only had one beer and one shot I’m fine. So I pretend like I’m drunk makes it easier for everyone including me. The little amount of alcohol has had a tiny bit of effect on me, it’s mainly numbed the hurt and sadness but this acting as if I’m good makes me actually feel good so I’ll be keeping this up! Plus tonight it’s just me and my best friend, I’m not gonna be hooking up like he will most likely will be but I won’t stop myself from having a little fun. 

Wasted by Tiesto started playing and it felt so right in the moment. I grab Noel by the arm as he grins at me realising that I’m pulling him towards the dance floor. We start dancing together, but no grinding. Everyone thinks he’s a dick but he isn’t, he’s like me, give him a chance and a second and a third and then you’ll see that really he just doesn't have a clue what he’s doing. He knows what everyone will think too if we start getting heated even if we know we’re just best friends and then that gossip could be heard by the wrong people, the wrong person. I clear these thoughts out of my head as I dance like a crazy teenager on the dance floor with my best friend as we get the party started.

 

It was all so fun for an hour or so, but then the fun ended. I guess all good times must come to an end. Why, you ask? 

Because she was here.

 

——————————————————————————————————

Emily’s POV *in the car driving to the party*

I recognise the road we’re on. I guess I’ve been to a party there before but who’s was it though? I can’t help thinking about the whole time. I had a bad feeling about this. Like overtime I cam down this road it ended badly. I don’t like the idea of that. 

Spencer finally slows down as I start to hear loud music and see other people running around. 

Shit!

‘’ This fucking Noel Kahn’s party!’’ I yell to the girls. But they don't seem surprised ‘’ No you bitches! Spencer you are driving me home right now!’’

‘’No Em! You need to get used to seeing her around and if anything why don’t you just hook-up with someone in front of her?’’ Hanna shoots back

‘’ I’ll help’’ Paige adds with a devilish grin, Oh yeah I should’ve mentioned that Paige is here. She’s not a part of our group but apparently she got close to the girls during my ‘episode’ so they hang out every now and then and tonight was one of them. I raise my eyebrows at her, I know she’s kidding but I’m still not okay with these jokes

‘’ Sorry Em, just messing with you! But Hanna’s got a point!’’

‘’ Hell yeah I do! I always say: ‘The best way to get over someone is to get under someone’ ‘’ Hanna smirks

‘’ Ew! Hanna why would you say that?! ‘’ Aria squirms

‘’ I’m still not going!’’ 

‘’ Em, you were the one that said you need to move on and’’

‘’ This is the best way to do it!’’

‘’ Okay yo team Sparia, dial down on the finishing each other’s sentences! It’s creepy!’’ Hanna laughs

‘’ Fine! But as soon as I get in there I’m having a few drinks and you don’t stop me… Unless I start hitting on a guy then stop me’’ I try a lame attempt at a joke

‘’ Great! Now let’s go!’’ Aria says opening her door.

 

As soon as I walk in I recognise a few people from school but so far I can’t see her or him. I don’t give time for the thought to implant in my mind before I set off to the drinks table and lurk around it.  
After about the 2nd beer or so I start to wonder around, looking for the girls who didn't want to just stand next to the drink all night so had moved on. I move towards the dance floor where I hear Wasted by Tiesto being blared and people pumping their fists in the air.

And that’s when I see the blond locks of hair bouncing around. Shit! I can’t help but stare at her perfectly round arse and her hips moving in time to the music! Damn she is hot! and then of course the whole thing is ruined by the fact that Noel comes in my vision and I realise they’re dancing together! Fucking great!

Oh shit just got worse! She sees me! FUCK!!!

We gaze at each other intensely for a few seconds and then I give her slight nod and give her a fake cheers with the beer bottle in my hand. I turn away and walk back to the bar! All I manage to think about is her. Her eyes. Hey lips. Her hair. Her face. Her everything. Damn! I need to stop reminding myself of her!!! She’s a bitch Em! Come on! You dumped her now get over it! 

Yup! Definitely like it better when we’re wasted Tiesto! I was on something like my 5th beer now!

I dumped HER! Which means I can have fun! Be reckless! Get drunk! Live! Yeah she was a bitch to me! She basically denied me in front of me and then proceeded to humiliating me yet again after she’d promised she’d never hurt me like that again! So screw you bitch!!! Oh you have no idea how much I wish I could screw you! No! Fuck EM! Not that way! Come on! She’s an awful human being!

And yet I still fucking love her to bloody fucking pieces. Well fuck me.

 

——————————————————————————————————

 

Alison’s POV

After she left, I stayed on the dance floor, I didn't want to risk seeing her again and losing my shit. I had managed to see the pain in her beautiful chocolate brown eyes from across the room in near darkness and already that had almost pushed me to the edge.

Noel had seen her too and knew that I didn’t want to bump into her so he was a gentleman and got us drinks that he brought into the room. We keep dancing, pretending like there isn’t a care in the world. I didn’t drink too much because the truth always slips out when you’re drunk and whatever truth would slip out I didn’t want to risk any of it. Noel’s friends join us later on and we all dance together some are really just with their hook-up others just dancing with Noel and I. It was really fun. Until shit goes down as it always does

Ben starts dancing next to me. He’s getting closer and closer but I don’t think anything of it. I mean he knows that I’m way too good for him right, besides the obvious fact that I’m madly in love with my best friend, and that I’d never even give him a second glance. So why give a shit?  
Soon enough he starts grinding against me and I play along. I mean I don’t care right? I mean that’s what you do to get over someone you get under someone. No, I won’t sleep with him but why not flirt a little. Obviously I won’t let it lead anywhere. Not only is his ex my best friend, but she also happens to be the one I love. So who gives a shit if I mess around for nothing? As I said I’m young, I’m dumb and I need to get over this.

Seeing me playing along, gives off the wrong idea! Shit! I didn’t think Ben was this horny! His hand is on my waist and he’s pushing me into him. I try to push him away but instead he just slowly slides her hand down to grab my butt!

‘’ Get the fuck off her you dip-shit!’’ I feel someone grab me and push behind them with such force that I land on my butt. A girl is standing her back to me. But it’s not a girl. It’s the girl. It’s my Killer. I’d recognise that perfectly shaped body anywhere. My Killer still cares, she still protects me. I cant believe I ever deserved anyone as sweet as her in my life. But then she ruins it by punching Ben right in the face, and then she gets him the gut before kneeing him in the groin, she goes in for another but someone grabs her arm. Noel. Of course. I rise up to my feet and throw myself between her and Ben.

‘’ What the fuck?! Emily?!?!?! Why would you do that?!’’ I scream in her face. I’m so angry at her, she just hit him! She couldn't just tell him to stop! No!!! She had to mercilessly beat the crap out of him! If I wasn't so mad I’d find that so hot right now! But my blood is boiling in my veins! This isn’t her. This isn’t who she is. I really she’s drunk because this can’t be my sweet Emily. 

‘’ Like you give a shit!’’ she roars back before storming off in the opposite direction.

‘’ No! Emily!’’ I start to follow her, I look at Noel and plead him with my eyes to make sure we stay alone he gives a nod and I run after her

‘’ Emily! Wait! Emily! We need to bloody talk about this!’’ I screech once she’s a few meters ahead of me and there isn't anyone around us

‘’ Talk about what Alison?!’’

‘’ this! What just fucking happened! You can’t act like that! You can’t just punch a guy because I’m dancing with-‘’ she cuts me off

‘’Oh cut the crap! You weren't liking that dance one bit! I saw you cringe when he started pulling you in! I fucking stopped him from harassing you!’’ 

She was cursing so much, this is definitely not her. I know she’s drunk now, if the wobbly walking wasn't already enough of an indication

‘’ Emily! I can take care of myself ok! Plus Noel was there! He would’ve stopped it! And you broke up with me so why do you even care?’’ I spit bitterly, I’m now standing right in front of her a mere foot distancing us

‘’ Just because I broke up with you doesn’t mean I don’t fucking care anymore! It doesn’t mean I don’t still love you! You know that isn’t the reason why we aren't together anymore!’’ she cries, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. I knew what she was saying was true. I knew it all along, just hearing her say those words out loud made it so much harder. I know what I did, what I am doing to her isn't right. I can’t keep stringing her along like this, I need to do something. She crouches down on the ground and I look down to her. We stay like this for a couple minutes. She tries to steady her breathing. But her sobbing keeps getting worse and worse. She’s lost it, her breathing is just getting heavier and heavier she is full on drunk now and I can tell she’ll be out soon.

‘’ Emmy’’ I call her by the name her dad gives her, I know it’s always soothed her ‘’ Imma drive you home, okay? You need to rest sweetie.’’ I say as sweetly as I can

‘’ Okay’’ she nods slightly and slow gets up to her feet. I let her lean on me as I walk back to my car and help her into the back seats so that she’s got more room.

Before I start the car I quickly text the girls and Noel

AD: Hey, sorry I know I fucked it up with Em. She’s a total mess right now and she’s out so I’m driving her home. I’m so sorry for all the drama and problems I’ve caused guys! xoxox

I shut my phone off and drive us to Emily’s house.

——————————————————————————————————

Luckily for me, they keep an extra key in her the flower pot near the door. I had to drag Emily to the house with her arms around the front of my neck! And damn all they she wasn’t fat all those muscles were damn sure heavy to carry. She was trying to help me out by putting some effort in, but really she was just making it worse.

Once we were inside I force her to drink a lot of water and even a decaf so that she sobers up a minimum. She trudges up the stairs slowly after. As she gets ready for bed, lazily brushing her teeth and putting on her pyjamas, I run to get her some paracetamols and a water bottle from her fridge. I know she’ll need as soon as she wakes up. 

I had to tuck her into bed because she was still a little drunk and struggling to do it by herself.

As I walk out the door I hear her mumble something and my heart breaks   
‘’ I have said before that metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when woman enters her first word into our poetic mind’’ (A/N ok so i know realistically this wouldn't be impossible but I really love this quote from The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera so yeah…)

I walk out of her house as fast I can wiping the tears from eyes as I try to recollect myself. I love this girl so much! Why do I have to make it so hard! I know it doesn't have to be!

I speed home and run up to my room and plop on my bed. The events of tonight keep replaying in my mind. Em was right, the first time I realised I loved her was in the library when our poetic minds linked to Pip and Estella. 

Screw it! I deserve to be happy! I deserve my Pip! I deserve my happy ending! I know what I’m gonna do!

I love her and nothing will ever change that! So why bloody wait? Why not make the most of it! I smile at my determinism, impatient to actually start thinking about what I will do.

Cause let’s face it I won’t start thinking about it now. I mean it’s 3 AM, it was long day and I’m bloody exhausted!

For the first time in a week I fall into peaceful sleep a smile plastered on my face.


	19. Against Reason

Emily’s POV

*pound pound pound pound pound pound*

Ugh… shit… I slowly wake up not opening my eyes at all, knowing the hangover will just get worst… Shit… How drunk was I last night? Why the fuck do my knuckles hurt?! I lay there for 10 mins not moving and slowly adjusting to the pounding. I start to open my eyes, still holding my covers over me so that I have a minimum to protect my eyes. 

Ah! Crap! That hurts! I blink rapidly, easing the pain away. I stick my head out a little and see water and two pills on my nightstand. How’d that get there?! Please don’t tell me Mum knows… I am so screwed… I take the pills and swallow huge gulps of water and then hide back under the covers.

‘’ Hey Sweetie… You up yet?’’ a soft voice asks, I turn to face my mum as she sits gently on the bed. ‘’What time did you get home last night? I didn’t hear you come in?’’ Wait she didn’t? Then how the hell did I land in my bed! I am so confused and clearly my mum’s noticed too ‘’ What’s wrong Emily?’’ shit

‘’ Oh I was just trying to remember what time but I don't know I guess around 1?’’ I say trying to ignore the noise in my head and the genuine confusion about everything. She clearly hasn't noticed my hangover and I need to cover that.

‘’ Ok… well that explains why you slept so late then’’ I look over at my alarm clock… yikes! Half past twelve already!

‘’ I guess so’’ I answer tiredly… the pounding in my head suddenly gets louder as if its real. It’s insanely loud! ‘’ Ugh!’’ I protest hiding back under the covers. It’s so loud! Come on drugs kick in! make the pain go away!

‘’ Well I guess I’ll go and open the door then since you’re clearly planning on staying here for a while’’ my mum jumps up off my bed and heading downstairs

So wait the pounding isn't in my head anymore? nice! Wait who would be at the door though?

‘’ EMILY! ITS FOR YOU!!!’’ Mum yells! Shit! I wish she hadn't done that!!! My ears ring now although my headache is slowly diminishing. Thank you Paracetamol! Who the hell would come and see me?! All the girls should be recovering at their houses! I know how Hanna gets at a party, Aria probably got wasted to forget Fitz and Spencer was most likely having her own after-party with Toby somewhere. 

 

Alison’s POV

God! I am so nervous as I get dressed. This can go two ways and I really hope it only goes one. The other possibility would just be too unbearable for me! 

I jump in my car and make a stop in the centre of town. I head into the Brew and order two coffees to go when I see a short brunette wearing sunglasses sipping on a jumbo coffee.

‘’Aria?’’ I beam

‘’ Shshhshh! Ali! not so loud… Please’’ Aria begs

‘’ I take it someone had a little too much last night’’ I smirk

‘’ Yeah… I only understood your text this morning when I was somewhat awake… Although I’m still actually a walking zombie…’’ she groans ‘’ But yeah it’s okay Ali… but it’s her that you should be saying that too’’

‘’ I tried last night but obviously she was out of it so I don’t think she remembers plus I stopped it short because she was losing it’’ 

‘’ Ok so what you gonna do now then?’’

‘’ Two coffees for Ali?’’ the barista calls out

‘’ I’m gonna sober her up and tell her again and again and again and again till I know for sure she knows what she means to me and how sorry I am for all of it’’ I smile

‘’ Good Luck’’ Aria gives me a thumbs up as I walk out the door, coffees in hand, whilst I see her cringe at the sound around her and take another sip of her drink.

I drive around the radio on. The last chorus of Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons fading out as I reach her house

But it was not your fault but mine  
And it was your heart on the line  
I really fucked it up this time  
Didn't I, my dear?

This is it. I’ve got this! I walk up to her house and take a steady breath or at least try to take a steady breath… I knock once, twice, thrice… Hmmm weird? I knock again when I hear footsteps.

The door swings open ‘’ Mrs Fields!!! Hello!’’

‘’ Hey there Ali! How are you? and for the millionth time call me Pam!!!’’

‘’I’m good thank you! I came here to see Emily please’’ I say in the sweetest tone possible. Who knows what she knew about what had happened

‘’ Yeah sure! come in! I’ll call her!’’ I step inside the house, holding the coffees close to my body

‘’ EMILY! ITS FOR YOU!!!’’ Mrs Fields yells from the bottom of the stairs ‘’ I’ll go and make some pancakes she’s just woken up’’ she laughs as she goes towards the kitchen

A few moments pass, before I start to hear slow, heavy footsteps making their way down. I look up and there she stands, her mouth wide open in the middle of the yawn. So she doesn't look her best… her hair is very ruffled and her top is all crinkly but she’s a fine piece of eye candy!

‘’ Hey Emily’’ I finally voice. She looks up startled and stops as she approaches the end of the stairs.

‘’ A-A-Ali?’’ she stutters, gosh she’s adorable ‘’ What are you doing here?’’ she says with venom 

‘’ You don’t remember what happened last night do you?’’ I stand in front of her now

‘’ No… Please don’t tell me I-we…’’ she trails off in a panic

‘’What?! No! No Emily… You… um… hit Ben, Killer’’ I wink grabbing her now by her bruised hand, stroking over the purple bits gently. ‘’ We talked but then you broke, I drove you home, you got into bed, I was about to leave and I thought you were asleep when you mumbled something about dangerous metaphors and love… It was cute’’ I say with a wink. She hastily pulls her hand out and does what Emily does best: her nervous pose that I can’t help find attractive (for those who don't remember from one of the first chapters its when one of her arms is holding the other, her knee is a little bent, making her hip pop out to the side and she bites her lip). But something is different this time. She’s frowning, angrily too… 

‘’ What do you want Alison?!’’ she spits

‘’ Here I brought you something to sober up’’ I say handing her the cup ‘’I need you to listen to me. But please, can we do this in your room? Your mum is next door and I know that when I tell you what I tell you you don’t want her to hear.’’ God I hope this works! I really need to prove to her that I love her. I’m at my last straw!

‘’ Fine’’ she grumbles walking back up the stairs. I quickly follow behind.

As we enter her room, I shut the door behind me. She sits on her window sill whilst I stay stood in front of the door. I just stare at her as she crosses her legs beneath her. 

‘’ So? What are you waiting for?’’ she says bitterly. Right. Make it or break it, Alison.

‘’ I need you to promise me you won’t say a word or interrupt me till I finish’’ I demand

‘’ Sure whatever’’ she says waving her hand in dismissal sipping on her coffee

‘’ Ok here goes everything…’’ I take a deep breath ‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields. I know I suck at showing it but I do. There’s something about the way you are that makes me forget everything. You’re strong yet sweet, you’re confident yet shy, when you laugh it’s like a melody, when you cry my heart shatters in pieces and all I want to to do is fix it and kiss all your pain away. Being with you it’s like running through a field in the summer rain, incredibly beautiful even with the cold and the pain. Being without you, is the worst thing I have ever had to go through. I hate the fact that as much as I promise you, as much as I promise myself, I never can do it right by you. I hate the fact that because of me your happy ending, our happy ending is so hard to reach. I know I’ve done you wrong way too many times! I know I’ve screwed up! I know you deserve better! Sometimes I wonder why you love me at all! No don’t interrupt me’’ I say as she opens her mouth ‘’ And then I’m thankful that out of all the people on this planet you could have, you chose me! You chose me! You’re giving me chances after chances and I keep screwing them up! But that’s going to change’’ She looks at me half-stunned by everything I’ve just said half wondering what the hell I am talking about. Ok, this is it. No backing out afterwards.

‘’ Tonight, you and your family are coming to dinner at my house. We are telling my parents. I say ‘we’ because I need you there but I also need you all the time. I love you Emily and I’m taking a step forward for us, for you, for me’’ I finally let out… Wow that felt good

She suddenly stands and rushes up to me. She kisses me roughly, pressing me to the door. I moan slightly at the pain but pleasure the bitter-sweet action just caused me. I wrap my arms around her neck as she holds my face in her hands. Our tongues fight for dominance as the kiss gets more and more heated. Gosh! I missed her touch, her kisses, her love! 

‘’ Em…’’ I moan as she pulls away a bit our foreheads and noses touching, lips mere millimetres apart

‘’ I love you too Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’ she whispers lovingly ‘’ And I would love to have dinner with you and your family tonight’’ she starts kissing me again but softer. And yet the same chills go through my body as our passions mix to become one. The kiss starts to get more intense and I jump up wrapping my legs around her waist as she holds me against the door her arms under my butt. I start to kiss down her jawline and slowly suck her neck but not hard enough to leave a mark. Now that would be bad. 

‘’ Oh Ali…’’ she moans turning me on ‘’ Wow babe…’’ I grin slightly as I make my way back to her beautiful luscious lips, I love it when she calls me ‘babe’

She carries me towards her bed, and gently puts me down on it. I don't know how she did but she didn’t even break the kiss. The whole time she carried me, she just kept on kissing me like it was nobody’s business. Damn! I love this passion! Her hands find their way under my shirt and she rests them just above my waistline. I shiver in delight at her touch as my hands lose themselves in her beautiful dark hair. I suddenly feel something on my centre. She’s pushed her thigh into it. 

‘’ Em… oh Em!’’ I moan into her mouth. Does she have no idea how much I want her right now?! I roll us over so I’m now on top and move my hands to her abdomens, straddling her. I’m so glad she wears V-necks even for my pyjamas, I think as I start kissing down from her neck to her chest slowly…   
‘’ Ali…’’

‘’Knock knock! Girls the pancakes are ready if you want!’’ Shit! her mum! I quickly jump off her her and straighten out my t-shirt a bit.

‘’ Yeah we’ll be down in a sec, Mum!’’ Emily quickly answers. Her mum’s footsteps slowly start to fade away

‘’ Wow that was close, huh?’’ I nervously chuckle

‘’ Yeah’’ she nods ‘’ way too close. But I can’t control myself around you! So I suggest you get your fine arse out of here now before I get it to it first!’’

‘’ Oooo confident Emily! Sexy!’’ I say seductively

‘’ Haha! Very funny! I’m serious Ali! We should get out of here before we do go any further and then my mum finds us and then shit gets escalated.’’ I laugh at her. Emily is always unpredictable like this! One moment she’ll be sexy and cocky, the next she’ll be a Mummy’s girl and timid again. I love her for that.

‘’ Oh Emily?’’ I say as I open the door 

‘’ Yeah what is it?’’ she says looking up at me from where she’s sitting on the bed

‘’ I love you sweetie’’ I blow her a kiss and walk out but not before seeing her grin ear to ear whilst her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.

I will make it right by her. Our parents are the first step. What scares me is the school… I don't think I’m ready for them to know yet. But surely she’ll get that I mean at least we’ll have told my parents. I really hope my parents accept this! I’m so scared… What if they don't want me anymore or what if they forbid us from seeing each other… Agh! No! Come on, Alison! Stay strong!

You are Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, you love Emily Catherine Fields. And together you are Emison. 

You are the girls who love each other against all reasons that seem to indicate you shouldn’t. 

You are Emison.


	20. I Love Her

Alison’s POV

This was going to be it. My parents didn’t ask why I only asked the Fields to come which I’m happy about because for once I didn’t have a lie in my back pocket to save me.

I get ready around 6. I need to look perfect and make a good impression without seeming to try to hard… I take a shower to relax and well I can’t help myself but have dirty thoughts about Emily in her shower… I mean have you seen that girl! She can make anything look good! And those long tanned legs with that beautifully lean stomach… I start to picture her breasts… I can’t do anything but imagine them… She was always a prude and didn't flash everyone in the locker room like me. But I could imagine them just perfectly! My hand slowly started trailing down from my nipples, that I had been pinching and kneading, to my centre. God that felt so good! I slowly circle my thumb on my clit imagining Emily’s sexy naked body in her own shower maybe even doing the same thing as me! The thought turns me on even more!

‘’ uh yes!’’ I quietly moan rubbing faster on my sensitive nub

*BANG BANG BANG*

‘’ Ali come on! Hurry up! You’ve been in there for 20 mins! I need to shower too!!!’’ Jason yells through the door.   
ugh! he just totally killed the mood… Why’d he have to interrupt my fun time?!   
I climb out the shower whilst coming down from my high… Ugh! I wish I didn't have to share my bathroom… I was having fun! 

As I walk out, I throw a glare in my brother’s direction

‘’ Hey what? I need to impress your girlfriend and her parents too?’’ he chuckles as I stare at him wide-eyed and my jaw hitting the floor. He gives me a small wink before adding ‘’ I’m not stupid you know, but don’t worry your secret’s safe with me…’’ He goes into the bathroom

‘’Yeah right’’ I mutter. At least I was telling them tonight so he wouldn't actually have an opportunity to do anything. I’m excitedly scared about tonight! if that makes any sense. I feel like this is the right moment to tell them. Like Emily and I are meant to show the world, or at least our world, that nothing can stop us. I really hope this goes well! This determines what’s gonna happen next to us and that scares me. That this one night can have so much effect on our lives… Oh god…

I throw on my pink floral dress with a light grey cardigan on top and black ballerinas. Elegant yet simple, kinda. Right?  
I apply mascara and eyeliner. I don’t feel like putting too much on tonight.  
I check myself a final time in the mirror and head downstairs.  
As I’m in the middle of the steps, someone knocks at the door. 

I run down and show up right behind my dad as he opens the door!

‘’ Hello! Pam! Wayne! And Emily of course!’’ he greets them. He invites them in and as the parents start by exchanging pleasantries I look at my sexy girlfriend! She’s wearing a sexy burgundy leather skirt and a white button-down shirt. She looks so classy! Her beautiful black hair falls down her shoulders and her beautiful brown eyes are surrounded my light smoky eyes makeup… She looks good on so many levels!  
‘’ Might want to quit staring sis!’’ Jason whispers in my ears coming up behind me

‘’ Mr and Mrs Fields!’’ he shakes their hands ‘’ Emily!’’ he gives her a small hug and gives me a small smirk when he pulls away.

‘’ Alison, why don’t you go finish setting the table before I serve dinner, please?’’ my mum asks

‘’ Yeah sure’’ I answer

‘’ I’ll come help’’ Em offers

‘’ Oh thank you Emily! You’re such a sweet girl!’’ my mum smiles

Emily and I head into the the dinning room and finish putting everything in place

‘’ Hey Ali… You sure you want to do this?’’ she asks timidly… I swear if she was any more adorable I would die. I make my way towards her

‘’ I want to do this, Killer. Trust me. I love you and it’s time our parents knew. Okay?’’ I say grabbing her hands and giving a light kiss on them

‘’ O-O-Okay… If you say so’’ she nods rapidly, 

‘’ But’’ I start and she immediately seems to panic ‘’ But I think we should wait until after dinner’’ I finish

‘’ Whatever makes you happy Babe!’’ She says smiling like a fool, she knows, oh she knows, the effect that has on me! I really want to kiss her now but I know I shouldn't so I let go of her hands and make sure to walk back to the other side of the room to fetch the plates as sexily as I can. I know she’s staring at me. I’m no idiot, I know she loves my arse!  
As I put the last plate down my mums calls everyone to the table. Dinner is ready!

——————————————————————————————————

Dinner went well. I mean you know it was the usual iddle chatter and catching up. Looks like no one had really made an effort towards with my family when I left and seems like it was everyone’s fault really. Emily and I made sure to not sit to close because we know we wouldn't be able to control ourselves. So my dad was at the head of the table, my mum and Mr Fields on his sides. Mrs Fields, next to my mum, Emily next to her dad, Jason next to her and me at the other end of the table, opposite my dad.

During the whole time, I couldn't stop myself from looking lovingly at her. Jason hit me a few times under the tables when it started getting too much. A few times she had looked my way too and she’d responded in the most Emily way possible. She looked down with a smile and flushed red with embarrassment and love.

How did I ever deserve the most perfect human ever… Gosh she was just so bloody incredible!!!

After dessert the parents and Jason moved to the living room whilst Emily and I cleaned up. 

‘’ Ok. I’m ready.’’ I affirm closing the washing machine. 

‘’ You sure?’’

‘’ I’ve never been so sure about anything else in my life. I love you Emily and it’s time I tell my family.’’ my voice trembles, the nerves are getting the best of me. She strides over to me and gives me a hug. She strokes the back of my head and gently and I feel the anxiety leaving me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

‘’This is exactly why people need to know. You have an effect on me like no one else.’’ I say a small tear falling down my cheek

‘’I love you Ali’’ she smiles and places a gentle kiss on my forehead

‘’Let’s go’’ I walk towards the living room with Emily behind.

‘’ um hum’’ I cough to get everyone’s attention

‘’ Yes, dear what is it?’’ my mum asks gently. She’s really changed, like me. She’s become more human, caring, loving, she’s become a true mother.

‘’ Um… I have something I would like to say…’’ I breathe and close my eyes. Emily stands beside me and her presence is enough to calm me.

‘’ Ali… Sweetie… What’s wrong?’’ My dad wonders. I look at my beautiful girlfriend and she gives me a small nod. I’ve got this. With her by my side, nothing can go wrong

‘’ I have met someone. This someone isn't just anyone. They make me happier than I ever thought I could be’’ Jason is looking at me, encouraging me to go on ‘’ They bring out the best version of me, when they’re around I’m never sad or angry. This person has had my heart for a while and I think it’s time I share my happiness and love with you.’’ 

‘’That’s fantastic, Alison!!! Why do you look scared about it? Who is the lucky guy? And when do we get to meet him’’ oh god… mum… Sorry, I hope I don’t disappoint you

‘’ umm… Well, the lucky guy is a she, and you’ve already met her’’ I grab Emily’s hand ‘’ Mum, Dad, I would like you to meet Emily Fields, my girlfriend.’’ I feel Em slightly squeeze my hand

 

Jason gets up from his seat and gives a small cheer. He comes up to us and pulls us into a bear hug!

‘’ I’m so proud of you sis!’’ he whispers to me as we break away

‘’ We’re really happy for you girls!’’ The Fields say

‘’ I’m happy for you too! I’m so proud of you, Ali! You know there’s no reason for you to be ashamed of this! We love you no matter what!’’ My mum beams but my dad stays quiet he’s got a cold look on his face. No. No. No. NO. Please. Be okay. Please love me. Love her. Love us.

‘’ Daddy?’’ I try sounding like a five-year old 

‘’ Alison! Go up to your room! Right now!!! Emily you will leave this house at once and not set foot here again!’’ he barks

‘’Kenneth!’’ my mum pleads

‘’ No Jessica! We raised our daughter right! Emily is the one who made her think she was g..! I can’t even say it!’’

‘’ Jason! Take Emily home. Alison go with.’’

‘’No! I just said I didn't want them spending anymore time together’’ he yells at my mother

‘’ Please Daddy! I love her!’’ I beg

‘’ No! You don’t! You don’t know what you’re saying!’’ he says charging to me, Emily places me behind her back

‘’ Jason! Emily! Go! Now! Take her with! Kenneth calm down!’’ She says grabbing him by the arm ‘’Let’s talk about this with the Fields! Please’’

‘’ Kenneth, we went through the same struggle with Emily, listen to us!’’ Wayne says standing in between my dad and Emily.

Jason suddenly starts to drag us outside the house and before I know I’m in the car my head on Emily’s shoulder crying like mad.

‘’ Shhh it’s okay Ali…’’ Emily murmurs in my hair

‘’It’s -It’s not- not okay!’’ I hiccup in between sobs ‘’ He doesn’t love me anymore!’’ I cry hysterically

‘’Hey! No don’t say that! He’ll never not love you! He’ll come around!’’ Jason tells me from the front of the car… In response, I just shove my face deeper into Emily’s side. I grip her tight, my life depending on her. She kisses the top of my head gently

‘’Listen your brother, Ali. Jason’s right. My parents were the same at first. Look at them now. They’re telling your dad it’s fine. They had no one do that for them so your dad will come around twice as fast as my mum did.’’

‘’What if he doesn’t though?’’ I whisper in her shirt desperately

‘’ He will. I will be here the whole time Alison. Remember Pip gets Estella in the end. We have a happy ending this is just an obstacle to our happy ever after. Pip gets Estella, okay?’’ 

‘’ I love you against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.’’ I answer her and give her a kiss on the lips. We don’t push it too far because this short, sweet kiss was still loving and passionate and also Jason was in the car and that was weird.

We pull up to her house. And as Emily and I get out, so does Jason. I look at him inquisitively

‘’ You don’t think 20 minutes is enough for Dad to calm down do you?’’ I don't answer. He’s right by the time we got back, they would still be talking about it. ‘’ I promise I’ll stay out of your way. I’ll just sit down and watch TV in your living room, promise. I’ll text Mum, although I doubt she’ll see her phone, tell her we’ll hang out at your’s for a couple hours’’ He says nodding towards Emily as she gets her keys out and opens the door to her house.  
As the perfect girlfriend she is, she lets me in first and then Jason being a gentleman he is lets her go in before him.

‘’ Do you need me to set the TV up for you Jason or you fine?’’

‘’ Nah, thanks! I’ll figure it out. You girls go.’’

I hug him tight. ‘’Thank you for everything Jason! I was terrible sister and you're an awesome brother! Thank you so much!’’

‘’ Hey we all did some terrible things, I would know’’ He chuckles lightly ‘’ But it’s fine, anything for you Ali’’ he lets go of me and I see tears forming in his eyes

‘’ Is THE Jason DiLaurentis crying?!’’ I laugh

‘’ What??? NO! You’re crying!’’ he defends himself

‘’ Haha! Sure!’’ 

‘’Whatever…’’ he mumbles heading to the couch

‘’ Call us when it’s time!’’ I tell him

‘’Will do! ‘’ he shouts as Emily pulls me up the stairs towards her room

As soon as we enter her room I fall onto her bed, emotionally and physically exhausted.

‘’Babe… When I picture you lying in my bed that’s not exactly what I have in mind’’ Emily says in a serious tone. I can’t help but laugh

‘’ Oh! You picture me in your bed now do you?’’ I try to forget why it is we’re here right now and not at my house. I sit up

‘’ Maybe…’’ she walks towards me seductively biting her lip. She grabs my face and pulls towards her own as she leans down to kiss me softly. She pushes me down on to the bed and lands on top of me. The make out session gets hotter and hotter by the second. Her hands finds themselves on my waist again as mine start to lose themselves in her hair. She starts to roll her tongue on my bottom lip. I don’t let her in. She keeps trying to ask for entrance but I don’t allow it. She probably thinks I’m teasing her because she keeps it up for another minute. I can’t. It doesn’t feel right. 

She notices something is wrong. She pulls away from the kiss and looks into my eyes. I peer into her beautiful brown eyes, that just make me melt. I recognise small signs of emotions in them that I’ve seen too often: confusion, hurt, despair. 

‘’ Ali? Babe? What’s wrong?’’ she says still on top of me. 

I push her off and get stand up from her bed. I go to the opposite side of the room. ‘’ I’m so sorry, Emily. It just doesn’t feel right.’’

‘’ But you love me…’’ Puppy dog eyes… shit… she knows I can’t resist those

‘’ I do! I love you with all of me but I can’t just make out with you on your bed when my dad doesn’t approve of who I am! When my dad hates this!’’ I scream angrily

‘’ I’m sorry Ali! You’re right what I did was wrong I shouldn't have done that. I just thought it would get your mind off tonight and your dad…’’ she looks down

‘’ You think sex is the answer to this? Are you serious right now???’’

‘’ What?! No! I just thought kissing, sorry it got heated but I can’t control myself around you! You know that!’’ she protests standing up. Embarrassed by her so direct words she looks to the floor again.

‘’ Sorry, Emily. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.’’ I walk towards her and pull her face up so I could see her face. ‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields. And right now I just need you to hold me’’ I tell her staring into her warm loving chocolate orbs. 

She lets go of my hands. Turns on her TV and goes to sit on her bed.   
I stare at her in utter bewilderment. 

‘’ Well what are you waiting for?’’ she says patting the spot next to her. ‘’ Come here’’ I climb on the bed and nuzzle myself as close as possible to her.

She carries my legs and drapes them over her own so my chest is no facing her shoulder and my head is in the crook of her neck. 

‘’ Have I ever told you how perfect you are?’’ I peck her neck lightly 

‘’I’m not sure… you should remind me… Just in case’’ she answers wrapping her arm around me

‘’ Emily Fields, you are the most perfect human being ever’’ I whisper I kiss her nose softly, she scrunches it at the touch

‘’ I doubt that… it might just be a reflection from my eyes that you’re seeing… You, my love, are the most perfect human being ever.’’ She gives me a quick peck on the lips and we watch the TV.


	21. Love is Love

Kenneth’s POV

‘’ um hum’’ I turn my head towards the small cough

‘’ Yes, dear what is it?’’ Jess asks lightly, something’s up… I can already tell

‘’ Um… I have something I would like to say…’’ Alison closes her eyes for a second and I see her take a deep breath. This must be really important, this is worrying. Emily stands beside her, she probably knows what’s going on. That’s why she only invited her, moral support for whatever my daughter was about to hit us with next!

‘’ Ali… Sweetie… What’s wrong?’’ I wondered aloud as she glances over at Emily

‘’ I have met someone. This someone isn't just anyone. They make me happier than I ever thought I could be’’ ok… I mean I knew this would happen eventually, I wasn’t exactly expecting her to be my little baby…’’ They bring out the best version of me, when they’re around I’m never sad or angry. This person has had my heart for a while and I think it’s time I share my happiness and love with you.’’ but she’s never told us before, I’m no idiot I know how Ali used to be… I guess this is really serious and being her dad I’m not okay with this. Jess seems really excited about this as she asks who the guy is. I guess it shows that Ali’s really making an effort now to open up to us. 

‘’ umm… Well, the lucky guy is a she, and you’ve already met her’’ What??? She grabs Em’s hand. What!!!! Nononono!!! ‘’ Mum, Dad, I would like you to meet Emily Fields, my girlfriend.’’ I just stare at them, incapable of thought

 

Jason gets up from his seat and gives a small cheer. He pulls them into a bear hug!

 

‘’ We’re really happy for you girls!’’ The Fields say

‘’ I’m happy for you too! I’m so proud of you, Ali! You know there’s no reason for you to be ashamed of this! We love you no matter what!’’ I remain quiet as Jessica is all over our daughter. No. No. What is going on?! I stare in utter disbelief at my daughter’s hand still holding her gir- I can’t say it. It’s just something isn't right here. I don’t like it.

‘’ Daddy?’’ she voices like when she was 5

‘’ Alison! Go up to your room! Right now!!! Emily you will leave this house at once and not set foot here again!’’ what am I saying! I don’t even remember wanting to say that!

‘’Kenneth!’’ Jessica interrupts

‘’ No Jessica! We raised our daughter right! Emily is the one who made her think she was g..! I can’t even say it!’’ What am I saying! Why am I saying this out loud! I’m not okay with this for sure but I should shut up and get on with it but I’m incapable of putting it to rest!

‘’ Jason! Take Emily home. Alison go with.’’

‘’No! I just said I didn't want them spending anymore time together’’ I yell

‘’ Please Daddy! I love her!’’ she beg

‘’ No! You don’t! You don’t know what you’re saying!’’ now that’s just too much! She doesn’t know what love is! She’s 17! She hasn't even lived a normal life for the past 2 years! She’s 2 years behind in a sense! She doesn’t what she’s saying

‘’ Jason! Emily! Go! Now! Take her with! Kenneth calm down!’’ Jessica grabs me by the arm, I didn't even realise I had stormed up to them. Emily had a ferocious look in her eyes as she stood in front of MY daughter ‘’Let’s talk about this with the Fields! Please’’

‘’ Kenneth, we went through the same struggle with Emily, listen to us!’’ Wayne says standing in between me and Emily.

Before I know it Jason is dragging them outside of the house. I stare vacantly at the spot where they used to stand.

What is happening… I mean yes I am not happy about this but why did I have such an outburst. It was like I had no control of my own body and mind. 

‘’ Kenneth…’’ Jessica turns me to face her, tears were forming in her eyes. Like Ali, she had become an entirely renewed person, she was still a bit sharp around the edges but she was no longer afraid of emotion.

I look up from her face to the Fields, now standing side by side.

‘’ I’m so sorry… I should not have said those words. Your daughter is an amazing person… I just… this-I don’t—It’s too much’’ I finally manage 

‘’ It’s completely fine, Kenneth. Pam reacted the same way at first.’’ Wayne reassures me

‘’ It’s true. I mean I even got her girlfriend sent way to boarding school’’ Pam muses

‘’ How— How did you get over it?’’ tears were feeling in my eyes. And I was not a man who cried, I barely shed a few at my own parents’ funerals. But this was all too much ‘’ I mean my daughter is g—homosexual… She’s not like normal people… She’s not right’’

‘’You’re right. Alison isn't normal. Your daughter has always been someone outside of the ordinary. She’s always been special and that’s before she was gay. Nothing changes, Kenneth. That’s how I got over Emily being gay too. I won’t say I don’t sometimes still struggle. But I’ve realised she is still Emily. They were gay before they told us that didn't change anything, they were still them. Alison is still going to be her usual strong, determined, charming and smart self. Trust me. Nothing is different.’’ Pam promises

‘’ But— What about people? She’s going to be judged, made fun of… ‘’ I plop myself down on the seat and put my head between my hands

‘’ Hey, Emily managed to be in relationships and never got any teasing expect a little at the beginning and she ended up dating that girl. Trust us, Rosewood is more open than you’d think.’’ Wayne adds

‘’ Emily has been in relationshipS? As in more than one?!’’ Jessica says worryingly… True, what makes us think Ali is just another pit stop for Emily

‘’ Yeah, but I’ve never seen her look at anyone like she does Alison. Either way they are together now and for them we need to be supportive’’ Pam looks in my direction questioningly

‘’ It’s going to take some getting used to… I just can’t make sense of it, I just need time, I don’t know how much. But you’re right, Alison is my daughter and I love her, all I want is for her to be happy and if this is it then I’ll learn to be okay with it.’’ I agree

‘’ That’s great!’’ Jessica sits next to me and gives me an awkward side hug. We’ve never really been a touchy feely type of family but ever since Ali came back from the dead we had an unvoiced agreement that if you could show your love and support then you had to. It wasn’t even a question.  
The Fields seem shocked at this new DiLaurentis family before them: a wife and daughter that used be cold and mean both now loving, caring and well surprising in their own way and a very strict and unemotional father caring for someone else than himself. I admit we must have looked bizarre from an outsiders’ point of view. But when you’ve lived what we have, when you realise the inside is broken for it to become a problem outside, you forget about the outside and focus on making sure the inside was fully functioning. No matter how odd it may seem.

‘’Well I’ll go text Jason. I have a feeling him and Ali stayed there for a bit. I’ll let them know they need to come home’’ Jessica stands

‘’ Tell them to bring Emily over as well’’ I say trying to sound as confident as possible

‘’ Of course’’ Jessica smiles and for the first time in a long time, I’m happy to have married this woman before me and remember why we wed in the first place. She leaves the room and Pam follows behind.

Wayne comes up to me and I stand holding my hand out. ‘’ I am sorry for being disrespectful. It was irrational of me.’’ I apologise

He shakes my hand and answers ‘’ You are forgiven I know how difficult it can be’’ he answers

——————————————————————————————————

Emily’s POV

We were in hugging in bed when we heard a hesitant knock on my bedroom door.

‘’ It’s okay Jason, come in!’’ I say

He opens the door and his eyes immediately meet mine. ‘’ Sorry, I didn’t want to walk in on…um… anything’’ he mutters embarrassed

Alison’s laugh filled the room, she’d probably never seen her brother teary-eyed and embarrassed about something, plus all in one night! Jason’s cheeks only got redder, I put him out of his misery

‘’ What’s up Jason?’’

‘’ Mum just texted.’’ Ali’s laugh suddenly stops and she has a seriously look on her face, although I can sense her slight tremble scared of what he will say next. I wrap my arms around her tighter. ‘’ She says we need to come home now.’’ He pauses and looks back down at his phone as if re-reading the text to make sure that what he says next is actually there ‘’ Emily, you need to come with us’’ he stares right at me, he’s just as confused and surprised as I am

‘’Ok, well then let’s go’’ I encourage. But Ali stays where she is, making it impossible for me to move. ‘’ Ali? Babe?’’

‘’ What if we can’t be together?’’ her voice is broken, her eyes start to let tears fall out

‘’I’ll wait downstairs’’ Jason understands and closes the door behind him

I pull her across so that now she’s sitting on top of my legs facing me. I place a hand on her waist and use the other to wipe away a few tears. She leans into my hand and closes her eyes as I gently cup her face

‘’ Look at me Ali’’ I say softly, she slowly opens her eyes ‘’ I love you more than anything. I won’t let anything happen to us, to you. I promise. If your parents want to see both of us it’s a start. Your dad said two hours ago he didn't want me anywhere near you. This is progress ok? He’ll come around. My parents, your mum and even Jason are happy for us. I doubt they’ll let one person stop us.’’ She blinks a few tears away and I just the fall. I peer into her crystal blue eyes and pull her even close to me ‘’And I know for a fact nothing stops THE Ali D!’’ I smile, she lets out a really light laugh ‘’ No matter what happens, babe, I’ve got you. I love you Alison’’ I kiss her passionately and cup her face with both hands. I taste the tears on her lips and the kiss becomes our hope. She puts her arms around my neck as she gives into the kiss and in less than a second, our tongues are clashing in our mouthes. I could kiss her forever. Her lips are so soft and they mould mine perfectly. 

‘’ Oh man! This is exactly what I was talking about!’’ a voice whines, Ali jumps off me and stands near my bed, leaving me looking an idiot my lips still puckered

‘’ Sorry Jason!’’ Alison laughs

‘’Can we go now?’’ Jason changes subject

‘’ Yeah! Sorry about that Jason! Let’s go, Ali’’ I grab her hand as we make our way out

——————————————————————————————————

Jason opens the door to the house and allows Ali and I in first, I grab her hand and squeeze it. She needs to remember I’ll stand by her side no matter what will happen tonight. We hear laughter coming from the living room. All three of us go in there, wondering what the hell went down in the last 2 hours or so.

‘’ Um… Hey’’ Ali says hesitantly 

‘’Alison…’’ Her dad gets up from his seat and hugs her tight, she let’s go of my hand and hugs him back

 

um okay… that’s weird, what is happening

‘’ Alison, I’m so sorry! I shouldn't have reacted like that… This is all just so… unexpected and it just took me aback…’’ He takes a step back and looks between her and me. ‘’ It’s going to take some getting used too. I’m not okay with this just yet. But I love you Alison, you’re my daughter and that will never change. If Emily makes you happy then I’m happy for you!’’ He smiles seeming to mean every word of what he’s just said. I know he means it. It’s just I’d like my girlfriend’s father to be ok with this

He suddenly turns to me, piercing his eyes into mine. Yeah Ali, got her eyes from her dad and mum, they were beautiful but on Ali they look like heaven.  
‘’Emily, I’m sorry for what I said about you earlier. I know you are a great girl and I’m sorry I just didn't know how to deal with this. But I’m glad you make her happy. She needs that in her life.’’ He gives me a small hug before adding with a chuckle ‘’But if you ever make her unhappy, you’ll have to deal with me.’’

‘’Not even in my wildest dreams, Sir, would I ever think of hurting her.’’ I promise him, grabbing Alison’s hand. And it’s true after the stunt I pulled I know I will never hurt her ever again!

‘’ Glad to hear! And just because you’re dating our daughter does not mean you have to stop calling us the same as before. We’re still Mr and Mrs Di!’’ He beams

‘’ So now that we’ve established that. We’ve decided on a few ground rules.’’ Mrs Di speaks up. Great. That’s what I really didn't like to hear. Ali and I look at each other knowing very well what’s about to happen next. Worry fills us both.

‘’ Sleepovers are not going to be as frequent and one of the girls has to be there with you. I’m sure you don’t need us to spell out why’’ Jason laughs next to me and says in my ear ‘’Good thing I walked in when I did or you’d be screwed. Either way you’d have gotten screwed.’’ He laughed even louder and I joined him ‘’ Good one Jason’’

Alison gave me a what the hell look ‘’ Bonding with my brother now?’’ she smirks

‘’Girls! Jason! That’s not it! Jason if you can’t stay serious then please leave’’ Jason leaves the room booming laughter. I grin as I watch him go. He’s a cool dude. This whole family’s had a makeover and it’s awesome!

‘’ Right’’ my mum continues ‘’ If you go to each others rooms, door must stay open at all times. Some rules we’ll say when we get there but so far no need’’ 

‘’ Is that all?’’ Ali pleads

‘’ Yeah pretty much! And now that that’s done we should get going, it’s quite late and it’s been an eventful evening’’ Wayne yawns

‘’ What?! Noooo! Dad! Come on! Literally, I just got here!’’ I protest

‘’ Maybe but you’ve also spent the whole last few hours with Ali alone, so no arguing young lady! Come on.’’ Dad replies

‘’ Fine.’’ I mumble. I say bye to Ali’s parents and thank them for letting me date her. Then comes the turn of the goddess herself.

I pull her in a tight hug and whisper in her ear ‘’ I told you it would work out. I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis and don’t you even forget that for a second. Nothing and no one will ever drive us apart. You’re my one and only.’’ I separate from her and see nothing but joy and love in her eyes ‘’ I love you. Bye, babe.’’ I kiss her cheek for a few seconds and then head outside my parents following suit.


	22. The Kissing Rock

Emily’s POV

It’s been 2 weeks since our parents have known about me and Alison and it’s going great. Apart from our families and well the girls, Noel and Paige (she did kinda make this happen) no one knows and strangely enough I’m ok with it. It’s one thing to be a girl dating another girl but it’s another to be dating the Queen Bee. So we weren’t hassled by people constantly, we could link arms in the corridor because it’s judged normal for teen girls to do that so that’s what we did, we could smile happily because we were two best friends that hadn't seen each other in too long so no one judged. We’d meet at one of our houses to have more privacy and sneak in a often hot make out session before the parents got home. It’s all going great. I’m happy that no one knows, because it means I get my love to myself.

Alison and I are in the woods, right now going for a walk. I smoothly slide my hand in hers and intertwine our fingers. We fit perfectly in every sense and it feels incredible. She slightly tilts her head my way and I notice that her cheeks are flushed and her pearly whites are showing in a beautiful smile. 

‘’ God, you are so beautiful’’ I admire, she answers with nervous giggles and a wink, the only way Alison knows how to. And I can’t deny it still makes my heart skip a beat. She has this power over me. Even more so than before, because now I know she feels the same way about me.

‘’ If only you saw what I saw sweetie… You are the most gorgeous and perfect human being I have ever seen’’ She says as we come to a stop having reached our destination

We go and sit down. And look over the lake.

‘’Remember that first sleepover you had when you came back?’’ I ask

‘’ Yeah…’’ her voice answers sadly. That night probably did not go as planned

‘’ Well… I lied that night when I found you here, at our spot. I’d said I’d only just gotten there but I heard pretty much everything. And it killed me inside to know that I was the reason for your pain, your anguish, your hurt. But I wanted to stay strong for the both of us. I was scarred Ali that night. I had left my house knowing what I was going to tell you and when you said you loved me, it didn't even register. All I could think of was that speech I had learned by heart to make sure I wouldn't cave at any point. As soon as I saw you fall in front of me all I couldn't think go was how could I do this to you? And left because I didn't know what else to do. It felt good to say those things’’ I sigh taking a pause looking over to her, worry was plastered on her face and I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her so she was nuzzled to my side. ‘’ But it felt wrong. SO wrong. You have no idea. It felt good because everything I’d never said when we were 15 came out. My 15 year old self made appearance but my real self was just praying that I wouldn't feel the way I did I was 15 again because the pain scarred me. I love you so much Ali it actually physically hurts to know that you are the person that makes me the happiest person in the world but that in a split second you can make me the most miserable person’’ I stare dead into her eyes, unable to read any sort of emotions from her face so I kept going, truthfully I have no idea where I’m going with this, but I was so happy to tell her this at the same time. I lightly pecked her lips and as I pulled away I could see from her face she was expecting more but I continued ‘’ Alison, you are the most wonderful human being I have ever laid eyes on. That day you told me you loved me for the first time, and then the 2nd and 3rd time you said I still couldn't process what you were saying. And when hear you say it now, I still think I’m dreaming because this is my fantasy. You are a fantasy. You are so much to me, it’s incredible.’’ I’m cut off by her lips crashing into mine with such force! It wasn't even like a brutal force but more of a fiery passion and it tasted like heaven. Our lips now used to each other move even more in sync than before. Suddenly she breaks away. I look at her to see she has a bemused look on her face, I straighten myself up realising I look like fool with my lips still puckered and my eyes wide open. 

‘’ Emily Catherine Fields. We both did things we regret and we both keep apologising for things we didn't mean. So here’s what I think: we apologise one last time now for what we have done. Get it out of our system and then we no longer apologise for anything that has happened before this very moment. Otherwise, I know I’ll spend the rest of my life apologising to you and you’ll spend the rest of your life feeling guilty. Agreed? ‘’ she says holding out her hand

‘’ Deal.’’ I affirm shaking her hand vigorously like when kids imitate their parents  
She lets out a slight chuckle before adding: ‘’ I’ll go first.’’ She pulls away from me and sits her legs crossed underneath her, I copy and we sit facing each. She grabs each of my hands in her own and I feel her beautiful baby blues melt into my chocolate brown eyes. 

‘’ I was a huge bitch. Like never mind Regina George, I was a true HBIC. I don’t know why. It made me feel great to abuse of all this power I had over people. And I abused my power of you too much, only when I used it against you did I question myself. I then reminded myself that you were just Emily. But you weren’t, I knew deep down you were far from a ‘just’ . I hate myself for taking so long to realise that and accept it. Emily, you are the most incredible person I have ever met. You have become such an amazingly strong woman. You have an array of choice out there. I’m sure you could have girls banging down your door all the time but you chose me. Out of everyone, you chose me. Me. Alison DiLaurentis. A girl who didn't knock at your door. No. You snuck into my heart as if you had snuck into my house from my backyard, Emily. I was so scared that I pushed you away, tried getting you out by hurting you as much as I could. But no matter what I tried you stayed. No matter how far I ran from you, we still kept finding our way to each other.’’ I wipe away a tear that had escaped her eye, and keep my hand there, cupping her heart-shaped face ‘’I am so sorry that I used you. That I made you feel the way I did. If I could do it all over again I would. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Also, I’m sorry I’m taking so much time to tell the school about us, it’s just after my father’s reaction I’m not sure I’m ready to deal with anything that could be thrown my way. And I especially don't want some idiots giving you trash about it either.’’ She looks at me knowingly, we both had the same idiot in mind ‘’ I promise that when the day will come I will make it all worth it.’’ She kisses me lightly

‘’ Ok first things first’’ I say taking a deep breath ‘’ You already make it all worth it. You are the girl that made who I am. No shit. Were it not for you I would not be gay in the first place…’’ she gives me a playful nudge with a ‘really?’ stare ‘’ well I don’t think so… Either way. I have dreamed about being with you since I was 15. You have been my dream since then. So everyday I spend with you by my side is already worth it.’’ I move the strand of hair that had fallen across her face as she smiled at her feet beneath her ‘’ Secondly. I should not have been so cold to you. I should not have treated you the way I did at your return. I knew you’d changed and I still let the past get the better of me. It shouldn't have and I will live with the regret of that decision my whole life. I could of spent so much more time with you had I not been so stupid. I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. If I ever say the opposite I want you to know it’s because I’m protecting you not because I mean it. I don’t care about others knowing about us. I’m happy that you and I are not in the public eye. I mean yes I would love to let the world know you're mine but I’m happy that we have time to settle in this relationship, that I get to spend time with my girlfriend’’ she grins widely at the word as she looks at me ‘’ without worrying that people will interrupt us or gawk at us. You are so amazing Alison. Not only because of what you went through, but how you went through it and how you came out of it. You are the strongest person I have ever met and I am the lucky one in this relationship trust me!’’ I tap her nose lightly and she scrunches it up

‘’ I love you so much!’’ she whispers pulling me in

‘’ I love you too babe!’’ I say closing the gap and bringing our lips together. In that moment, I don’t her the birds or the wind or the snapping of branches all I hear is my heart beat drumming in my ears. I slowly feel her pull me onto her her legs now uncrossed. Well isn't this a turn of events, usually I’m the one holding her! But I won’t deny this is damn sexy too! I lose my hands in her hair as she places her hands on the parts of my butt that aren't touching her thighs. We stay there for a 10 minutes kissing each other like there’s no tomorrow, our tongues colliding and then melting in one another our hands roaming all over our bodies.When we break away we’re both out of breath and grinning ear to ear. 

‘’ We should get going, it’s a school day and I promised your mum I’d have you home by dinner at 8’’ I exhale on her lips, cutting my sentence by giving her small kisses on her jawline, cheeks and corner of her lips

‘’ Well in that case, I would stop that if I were you because we will definitely not be home on time.’’ she playfully pushes me off her and on the ground and I stare at her with an expression of mock pain

‘’ I’m sorry, love. Here let me give you a hand’’ she stretches her hand out and when I go to grab she swiftly pulls it away smirking at me

‘’ you did not just…’’ I push myself off ready to run after her, when she understands whats about to happen she runs off in direction of her house. I catch her relatively soon and swing her around for a bit. After I put her down we lean against each others foreheads and just stay like that for a bit before turning to walk home.

When we get there, her dad is on the porch reading. He’s still not used to us. He’s ok with it but I can tell somethings make him uncomfortable. As we get there I yell out a ‘’hello’’ to him and he answers. To not make it harder for him I give Ali a light kiss on the cheek, whispering to her an ‘I love you’ and then leave nodding at Mr Di real quick.


	23. Picture This

Alison’s POV

It’s the middle of the week! Thank God! 

I still have butterflies from all the beautiful things Emily told me in the woods yesterday. She’s such a cheeseball it’s adorable. I’m sitting with Noel in the quad, having lunch. We have lunch together once a week at least. I tell him about yesterday, he’s my best friend and I need to talk to someone about it. He’s happy for me and he’s doing a real effort, just like me, to not be mean or hurt anyone anymore. 

‘’ So Al, be honest. 100%.’’ he says looking in my eyes ‘’ Don’t lie to me. Have you and her done anything?’’ ah the question I was trying to avoid. I look away, suddenly feeling very flustered about the topic which I shouldn't I mean sex and I have never communication problems before, but this is different. She’s different. He chuckles ‘’ Is the Alison DiLaurentis, embarrassed about sex? Never thought I’d live to see the day’’ He throws his head back laughing

I punch lightly on the arm ‘’ It’s not like that Noel! We just haven't really talked about it. I mean we have heated make out sessions but we either get interrupted or stop because we don't want our first time together to be in the woods or something’’

‘’ Awe I’m sorry Al! You know I’m just teasing… Wait, is Emily still a virgin?’’ I frowned… Is she? I mean she’s been with Paige long enough so I doubt that

‘’ No, I don't think so. Given the amount of time she and Paige dated. I don't think so. But I also don't want to think about her and another girl.’’

He catches onto me and lets that subject go ‘’ So… Do you have an idea of when this will happen?’’

‘’ I dunno. I don’t want to rush it. I really love her so whenever the time feels right. I mean don't get me wrong that’s all I can think of but I also know she needs to trust me fully again before we go to that step. ‘’

‘’ Awe! Look at you being all sweet and sensitive!’’ He pinches my cheeks and lightly slap them away.

‘’ Haha… Hilarious. But yes I love her a lot, so I’m going to be patient’’ 

My phones vibrates in my pocket and I pull it out only to see Noel and everyone around us taking theirs out too. I see I got a text message with an attachment: 

Your Queen Bee has deceived you yet again

The attachment is a picture of me.  
And Emily.  
Kissing.

Emily’s POV

I look over to across the quad… Her beautiful smile has dropped and I see tears threatening to fall. I knew that the second all our phones went off something bad was going to happen. Everyone is gawking between her and I. Pointing at us. She looks my way and my heart stops. She looks so vulnerable. All I want to do is comfort her, tell her it’s okay.  
Well screw it! People know now, might as well do it! I get up and start to walk towards her.

But she holds her hand up in front of her and runs away. I stare at her back as she runs away from the quad, from me, from us. I look at Noel who seems just as confused as me, but I can see the pity in his eyes too. Pity for her or me I don’t know but it puts me off. I start to go after her, when he grabs a hold of my arm

‘’ Emily… Don’t. She’ll come back on her own. She needs to breathe for a bit.’’ 

‘’ He’s right Emily. If we know anything from Ali it’s that you can't rush her’’ Hanna comes up behind me with Spencer and Aria

‘’ Come here, we got you’’ Aria holds her arms out open and I softly cry into her shoulder with the two others joining in

‘’ Nothing to see here guys! Get back to your lives!’’ Noel shouts ‘’ Girls… I get Emily needs this right now but I think you should go somewhere less public’’ he states

We all nod and walk into an empty classroom. The girls just stand there hugging me, reassuring me. Telling me that she’ll back. 

Suddenly the door bursts open.

‘’Oh my god! Emily! I’m so sorry!’’ 

‘’ About what? You’re not the reason I feel like this… Why are you here anyways?’’ I stutter

‘’ I saw the picture… The whole school in fact. And I needed to check on you. On both of you. But I can’t find Ali. Where’d she go?’’ so she hadn't seen her either… an awkward silence filled the room 

‘’ She um… left.’’ Spencer says looking over at me worriedly

‘’ She did WHAT?!?!’’ Paige almost shouts

‘’ She saw the pic and everyone staring, I got up to go to her, reassure her and then she stopped me and left in tears.’’ I try as firmly as possible

‘’ oh wow… Well it’s Alison she’s probably being dramatic. She’s dealing with it Emily. She’ll come back for you. And if she doesn't I’ll do what I promised I would do if she ever left again!’’ Paige exclaims

‘’ Um… What’s that?’’ Hanna looks confused as hell it’s quite funny in this situation

‘’ When I saw her at the pool and Paige was convincing me to go after Ali, she promised that if Ali ever ran away she’d kick her arse!’’ I smile at the memory

‘’ Ok… one question?’’ Aria asks

‘’ Yeah?’’ Paige wonders

‘’ Can we help?’’ Aria says raising her eyebrows the way she always does when she’s asking a rhetoric question

‘’ Of course you can!’’ Paige laughs ‘’ But I don’t think we’ll need too. Alison is going to come back Emily. Don’t worry.’’

‘’ I hope you’re right Paige. But as Spencer always says ‘ Hope breeds eternal misery’ so I won’t cling onto it as much as before’’ I say looking down at the ground

The bell goes off and people start entering the classroom. Only to look at me weirdly. I get up and so do the girls and we run to our classes. Once there I sit at the back and zone out. 

I do this for everyone other lesson I have this afternoon, unable to concentrate on what my teachers are saying. All I could think of was how she ran out on me again… I’ve seen her run from me far too many times before and although the feeling is familiar it doesn't get any easier. When you love someone this much and you feel your heart stoping and your stomach doing flips just at the thought of them; the thought of them leaving you behind makes you too nauseous to even see clearly. 

I love her but I hate this power she has over me. But I won’t deny that it is an incredible feeling. What scares me is the fact she’s embarrassed…. I mean what is she embarrassed of? is it me? or being gay? or I don't even know?

Finally the last bell rings. I take my sweet time to get out of class not in a hurry to get anywhere tonight. It’s not like we’d be meeting up at her place tonight. I didn't even know if she was still there. Oh dear God I hope she hasn't actually ran away!!!

I walk outside the school but am stuck right at the entrance as I see the whole student body just standing there. They’re all looking in a similar direction. 

‘’ What is happening?’’ I follow their gaze

‘’ This should be good!’’ Hanna, Spencer and Aria pop up beside me.

‘’What do you mean?’’ And that’s when I see it.

The most gorgeous sight I have ever seen is standing on top of a Jeep’s roof, a megaphone in hand. She’s wearing a black mesh waist dress and she looks smoking. I feel my jaw hang open. I’m so mad at her but right now I also really want her. If you what I mean, of course you do. I might seem all see and innocent but with a girl like Ali in front of me no way will I stay like that much longer. I’m excited but incredibly nervous about what could happen. 

She starts to speak and I’m immediately hanging to her every words. She sounds like an angel, I hear pain, love and confusion but mainly I hear birds chirping around me. 

‘’So… You may have seen a picture of me today. A picture I’m sure none of you expected. Yes, I’m kissing a girl. Not just any girl though. My best friend. My confident. My girlfriend.’’ A few gasps go out in the crowd. I stand there mesmerised under the spell of love (i know i know mushy squash) . ‘’ Yeah that’s right. I have been dating the most perfect human being in the universe for the past few weeks. I have hidden from you all because I was scared. But I shouldn't have.’’ She peers over the crowd and stops when she sees me

‘’I’m so sorry sweetie. I want the world to know your mine. I want to show you off. I want to go out on real dates and not just make out the couch or at the Kissing Rock.’’ She jumps off the car with the help of Noel, to whom she hands the megaphone and walks over to me. ‘’ It took me too long Emily to tell you so many things. I refuse to let that happen again. So now I’m telling the world. I’m telling you.’’ She’s halfway and people are creating a corridor from her to me, even the girls take a big step back! I hate being the centre of attention but I must admit I’m loving this. ‘’I’m telling you this. Not a day goes by where I don’t regret hurting you. And yeah I know what we talked about, and how we should no longer apologise hurting each other in the past but focus on our future. But I hated myself for being the cause of your misery. Not an hour goes by where I don’t think about the amazing memories we share. In a short time you’ve managed to make life so much better and such a happier place that I can no longer imagine it without you. Not a minute goes by where I don’t think about you’’ She’s right in front of me and she grabs my hand ‘’ Where I don't think about your chocolate brown eyes that I melt into, your luscious lips, how our hands fit perfectly.’’ She looks down at our hands and blushes before adding ‘’ Not a second goes by where I don't doubt my love for you. You are my happy ending. I love you Emily Catherine Fields.’’ 

Without even thinking, I pull her close and smash our lips together. In that moment, all is lost, forgotten. All the endless nights, all the tears, all the hate, all the pain, all the hurt, everything it just vanishes. My butterflies get butterflies, my heartbeat is way off chart and all I have on my mind is her. Our tongues collide and I can taste the cinnamon roll she had. I feel her arms wrap around my neck as I try to pull her in as close as possible by the waist. God! Have I ever mentioned she’s an amazing kisser?! I’m on Cloud 9 in heaven right now! That’s great I feel! 

I suddenly pull back remembering where we are. I blush looking at the ground as a loud cheer and applauds erupt from the crowd.

We lean our foreheads against each other. I notice she’s blushing too and I love her more by the second for it.

’’ I love you too Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’


	24. Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is mature content as you read on if you do not feel comfortable skip it

Alison's POV  
  After she said those words I melted. We gazed into each others eyes ignoring the applauds and congratulations being yelled at us. After a few minutes the crowd disperses and the girls give us hugs and congratulate us. Noel then comes running up to me and lifts me in a huge hug. I think the girls understand our friendship more but I know Emily is still confused.  
'' I'm so proud of you Al!!!'' he tells me putting me down  
'' Thanks Noel! Thank you!'' I say as I hug him goodbye cause he has football practice  
'' And thanks girls! For putting up with this, for putting with me! To this day, I still don't know what I did to deserve you!'' I cry happily grabbing a hold of Emily's hand  
'' It's fine Alison. Just please let this be the last time'' Spencer pretty much begs  
'' I promise. Cross my heart and hope to die.'' I answer fake drawing my words  
'' So what now?'' Aria wonders  
'' Um...'' Emily hesitates '' Is it okay if I have Ali to myself?'' She blushes. I let out a giggle at her cuteness.  
'' OH I GET IT! Sure Em! Do all the things we wouldn't!'' Hanna winks  
'' Seriously, Hanna?''  
'' Oh don't be such a prude Spence!'' Hanna retorts  
'' Ok we're leaving now!'' I say as I drag Emily with me towards her car.  
——————————————————————————————————

SMUT COMING UP!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!!!   
During the whole ride, I trailed my hand between her thighs. I could hear her breath quiver and feel the heat radiating from her centre. Not once did she resist. She actually drove back to her place faster. Her parents had gone for Texas again so we knew we'd be alone.  
When we get to her house, she opens her door nervously. I hold her hands to help her steady them. As soon as the door is closed, she looks from my eyes to my lips and quickly scans my body, as if ashamed that she was checking me out.  
'' I know you wanna kiss me'' I tell her seductively moving towards her  
Next thing I know she's pushing me up against the wall, kissing me with such fire. Our tongues fight for dominance within a second. I wrap my legs around her waist and tangle my hands in her hair.  
'' You look very hot in that dress!'' she whispers so seductively I can feel my centre heat up by the word. She kisses down my jawline to my sweet spot on my neck and I can't help but moan.  
'' B-Bedroom'' I struggle to say. She quickly nods before setting me down. I though we would go up side by side but Emily had her own idea. She swoops me up in her arms and pretty much runs to her room. I did not know she could get this horny and I love this side of her. She sets me down on her bed and gently lies on top of me, kissing me with love.  
Her hands trail along my sides. I hook my leg around her waist as she grabs a hold of it. I get goosebumps and cant help but shiver from her touch. My dress now rises up so that the only thing we cant see is my underwear. Slowly her hands starts moving up and down my thigh and I moan under her touch. I need to feel her too. I can't wait anymore. I grab for her t-shirt and she helps me pull it off her, we keep kissing and I slowly start unzipping her jeans that she gladly takes off in one swift movement.  
I stare at her amazing body as she leans back down on me and gawk as I look at her breasts still covered by her bra.  
'' Ali? Babe? eyes are up here'' she smirks, she goes back to kissing me gently and slowly rubs her hand on the inside of my thigh.  
''Em... I need you!'' I moan at the feeling  
'' That can be arranged... You look good in that dress but I'm sure you look even better without it.'' She helps me take it off and I feel so turned on by her words. I never thought Emily would actually be like this! God! She's so fucking sexy! I swear I might just die!!!  
'' These will need to come off too'' she continues as she rips off my panties and I unclasp my bra. She starts to knead one of my breasts and rests her knee in between my thighs  
'' Ah! Em!'' I moan, I feel my juices flowing already but I need to feel her skin against my own and I undo her bra and mimic the movements she is doing to me.  
'' Ali... Wow!'' she gasps  
I start grinding my hip into hers and feel how wet she is through her panties.   
''Off'' I stutter reaching for her panties, she quickly does as told and soon enough our centres are rubbing against each other as we passionately make out her hands exploring my body, mine grasping her perfectly shaped arse. She lets out a low guttural sound from the back of her throat and it was hot as fuck!!!   
She kisses my lips, my jaw line and sucks on my sweet spot earning a vibrant groan from me. Her hand still massages one of my nipples and she starts slowly sucking, kissing and bitting the other as her other hand slowly cups my sex.  
The pleasure intensifies by the second and I know I can't take it anymore  
''Em! now! Please!'' I beg  
''Please what?'' she stares into my eyes, hers gone almost black with lust and I'm just even more turned on if that's even possible!  
'' Do me! Take me! Please Em!!!'' and just then I feel her finger push into me.  
''Ah yes! Em! Ah'' I scream. She slides her finger in and out of me slowly at first and slowly starts picking up the pace, going faster and faster! This feels amazing'' Yes! Baby! Yes!!!'' she adds another finger and circles my clit with her thumb! God that feels so good! She started going deeper and I can't hold it in anymore as I feel my walls clench around her fingers   
'' Baby... I--m. I'm--"  
'' Say it love'' and when she calls me that I lose it  
'' I'm cumming!'' and then I explode all over her I grip the sheets, curl my toes and throw my head back. Emily doesn't stop and quickens the pace as I'm still at my climax  
''Em! Em! Oh yes! Emilyyyyyyy!!!!!''  
When i come down from my high, she slows down before entirely retracting her fingers entirely and crawls next to me.  
'' That was so hot babe!'' She says kissing me quick on the lips  
I roll us over so that now I'm on top  
''What are you doing Ali?'' she's confused and seeing her naked under me just makes it 10x hotter!  
I don't answer and instead slowly kiss from her neck to the inside of there thighs but never even grazing my lips against her pussy.   
''Ali...'' She breathes out heavily  
I reach a hand up and pinch her nipple, twisting it as I feel it harden under my touch. I use the other hand to delicately place a finger in between her folds as I kiss her abs one by one. I look at her in between her beautifully perked rounded breasts and grin like a fool as I say:   
'' You're so wet!'' she bites her lip suppressing a sound '' Mmm... Sweetie I want to hear you don't be shy'' I kiss down to her centre and without warning dive my tongue into her. I feel her hips lift from the bed at the touch at first but then slowly she moves them helping me gain better access. I press down on her clit with my thumb and start playing with it. All in the while still eating her out  
''Ali! Oh my god! Babe! Ah!'' Em scream so loud I'm pretty sure the whole street can hear us. I can tell she wants more and quickly replace my tongue by two fingers. Going straight in and use the flat of my tongue now to play with her clit. I pump in and out of her really fast! ''Ali!Ali!!! Ahahah!!!'' and like that she collapses underneath me her body shuddering with adrenaline. I help her ride out her orgasm and  fall next to her.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
SMUT OVER

'' You were amazing'' she whispers to me once she's gained her breath again. She turns her head and pulls me into her side, wrapping her arm around my shoulders as she does so. She gives me a quick peck on my temple and I look into her eyes now almost restored to their natural chocolate splendour.  
'' Not too bad yourself Fields'' I chuckle ''Shy in the streets sexy in the sheets'' She blushes at my last comment and I admire her in all her glory, in all her beauty, in all she is. And the best part is that she's mine.   
'' I love you Emily''  
'' I love you more Ali''  
'' Not possible''   
'' Ew Mushy Squash'' she giggles and I tap her lightly on her still bare stomach  
This was by far the best day of my existence and I don't regret it one bit.  
We stay like this in each others arms and fall asleep within minutes.


	25. She's No You

*Friday morning*

Alisons’s POV

It’s been two days that I’ve come out. It’s also been two days since that mind-blowing sex with Emily. So far it all seems to be going ok. If anything me coming out has just made me more loved and accepted by my fellow classmates. And I’m so happy. I’m glad I’ve become who I am today. And all thanks to this one wonderful woman walking beside me, holding my hand. We’re walking down the school corridor and I can’t help but look at how beautiful she is in all her own ways. Strong yet caring. Loyal yet fierce. Shy yet sexy. She is truly incredible.

‘’ Starring is rude, babe’’ she says not even glancing my way as we stop in front of her locker

‘’ It’s not rude if I’m your girlfriend. If anything it’s mandatory.’’ I retort whilst still admiring her

She turns around and holds my gaze intensely. 

‘’ Oh is it now? and what do you say about this?’’ she cups my face and gently kisses me pulling away after a few seconds, leaving me wanting more.

‘’udmemflke’’ I struggle

She chuckles and still holding my face looks into my eyes ‘’ Sorry what was that gorgeous?’’ she whispers

‘’ T-Th-That’s more than mandatory. That’s required to my survival’’ I finally stutter out 

‘’ Look at you being all needy’’ she laughs ‘’ I thought that was my job’’ she winks and turns back to her locker. She changes her books and shuts it, facing me once more. But only to see me with my best pout. 

‘’Aw… I’m sorry babe. I love it when you’re needy, it’s adorable’’ she says leaning in but I turn my face away before she can’t kiss me. I want to play for a bit

‘’ Alison… I thought it was cute!’’ she exasperates

‘’ I don’t want cute’’ I answer plainly

‘’ Well then what do you want, love?’’

‘’ I want sexy! I want hot!’’ I fake pout still

‘’Trust me! You definitely have that going on for yourself’’ she murmurs, grabbing me by the waist and kissing me with passion. I pull back, pushing my hands on her shoulders to create space between us but she keeps a tight hold on me

‘’ Do I now?’’ I smirk ‘’ I think I’m going to need some more convincing’’ I smile cockily at her

‘’ Whatever the princess wants’’ she murmurs and leans her forehead against mine and stares deep into my eyes as she murmurs sexily ‘’ Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, you are so hot the sun seems like ice next to you. Was your father a mechanic at one point because your body is finely tuned. If not then he was robber and he stole all the stars and put them in your eyes. I know for sure he was a chef, because you’re one tasty dish.’’ so she’s using pick up lines? who cares it’s really working for her right now! ‘’ By the way, I should take you to the nurse’s office. That was quite a fall, you know when you fell from heaven’’ she paused and studied every feature on my face before asking ‘’ Can you teach me math?’’ I looked at her quizzically ‘’ What’s infinity times infinity cause that’s how much I love you. Alison, you are the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last one at night. If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine lives with y-‘’ Before I couldn't even let her finish I grab her around the neck and smash our lips together. She’s shocked at first but quickly starts to kissing back. It was a hungry kiss but we knew we had to stay starved because we’re not idiots we know we’re still in the school hallway. We pull away both grinning ear to ear. 

‘’ You’re cheesy. I love it.’’ I tell her she lets out a light laugh 

‘’ And I lo-‘’ she starts but is cut off

‘’ Very hot! Please don’t stop! Way hotter than usual Em!’’ 

I see Emily grit her teeth at her dumb ex. I never knew why she dated him and I bet she wonders the same thing. I get out of Emily’s tight grasp and turn the face said twat.

‘’ Hello Ben! Would you be ever so kind as to get your horny pervy disgusting arse out of my face before I do it myself? Thank you’’ I say in my best fake polite voice

‘’ Aw come on Alison! Don’t be like that! I’ve seen Emily make out with plenty of girls before… Never was it this hot!’’ I freeze when he says plenty

‘’P-Plenty? So what she’s dated, it’s only 2 actual relationships’’ I stutter

He looks behind me over my shoulder ‘’ Didn’t tell her Emily?’’ he smirks

‘’ Didn’t tell me what?!’’ I’m frustrated now and people are starting to gather around us

‘’ Shall I tell her then?’’ Ben says happily

‘’Don’t you dare Ben’’ Emily says under her breath she’s not even looking at me. She seems long gone, the sweet gentle girl I fell in love with.

‘’ Alison. Emily probably told you about Maya, first girl. Damn that was a sexy relationship I must admit. Then she died. Woopsies.’’ he laughs  
‘’ Ben don’t!’’ Emily is trying to control herself, tears threaten to fall

‘’ How did you get over her? right right! I remember, you liked heading out almost every night. See I work at the bar where Emily would grind and make out with a different girl every Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Then came Samara, that was cute but didnt last long. Paige it was weird. But then there was that Talia chick! Damn! So hot!!! ’’ I was in tears… I didn’t know about the hookups after Maya, she told me about the others but I didn’t think she was that girl, what if I’m just another one of her many relationships ‘’ And then she ditched and you came back to the bar for a little evening distrac—‘’

‘’FUCK YOU BEN!’’ Emily yells as she pushes past me and rams into him. She’s so stupid! He’s so much stronger than her! He rolls them over and lies on top of her. He holds her hands down

‘’ Get off Ben!’’ Noel comes through the crowd and holds Ben back as the girls finally appear and stand next to Em, who now faces me.

‘’ I’m so sorry Ali…’’ Pity, regret, anger all in her eyes. 

I just turn on my heels and run away from the scene

‘’ Alison! Wait!’’ I hear her yell behind me ‘’ No! Let me go girls! I’m going to fix this!’’ I try to run faster but it’s not easy in heels!

I’m in the quad now but I feel her grab my wrist

‘’ Please! Alison! Listen to me’’ she begs

‘’ Why? Why, Emily? You lied to me! Am I just another one of your numerous relationships? Am I just another girl for you?’’ I cry as I tear my hands away from her grip

‘’ No! NO! Babe! You are not just any girl! You are the girl! You have been ever since I met you! All those girls were just to try and replace you! It wasn't this’’ she gestures between us ‘’ What we have Alison… It’s nothing like I’ve ever experience before! I never thought I would get you! Not in a million years! I thought my one true love died Ali! Then someone else made me happy and they died too! And it made me miserable and sad so I went around trying to fill that void! That void was never filled until you came back into my life Alison! I love you so much that it physically hurts me to know that I’ve hurt you! My heart aches right now and my gut is killing me because I’ve done you wrong!’’ she wipes tears with the back of her sleeve and holds my hand in hers ‘’ Alison, you are the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. What I did? I did before I knew the love of my life would continue to be the love of my life. I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. You know I’m bad with words, I can’t think when I’m around you which makes it worse and harder for me to express my feelings. When I’m around you Alison, everything stops, the world, my brain, everything! All I see is you, all I hear is you! Alison you are the one person I want… Those girls they were just practice for the real thing’’ she smiles through her tears

I chuckle lightly and stare into her eyes

‘’ How do you do it Emily?’’ 

‘’Do what?’’

‘’ Turn something horrible, into something sweet. I told you you were just for practice that day in the locker room’’

‘’ Because everything with you in it is sweet, that it be bitter-sweet or sweet-sweet it is undeniably the best times of my life’’ 

I pull her for a kiss. My tongue licking her bottom lip for entrance that she doesn't even think about. Our tongues don’t fight for dominance but more like melt into one another, our lips move in sync, they are perfectly fitted for one another. I wrap my arms around her neck and hers hold on to my waist. I love this girl so much it’s crazy what she can do to me. 

I pull away and she looks hurt that I did so.

‘’ I need to do something’’ I kiss her cheek and go back to the corridor hoping he’ll still be there. I hear Em walk behind me but she doesn't come near me. Good.

There he is. That dip-shit, good for nothing, insolent twit!

‘’ Ben’’ I say as I stand behind him at his locker

‘’What now?’’ he asks as he turns around

SLAP! God jesus that hurt me more than I thought. I pretend like I don’t feel anything and put my resting bitch face on

‘’If you ever come near me, my girlfriend or even just my friends, I will destroy you!’’ I bark at him before spinning on my heels and going to Emily who is just standing there with her mouth wide open

‘’ Come on, sweetheart’’ I say as I drag her with me. She turns her head to face as we hold hands

‘’ That was insanely hot!’’ she says

‘’ Keep it in your pants Em… There’s more for you later’’ I wink


	26. That Girl

Alison’s POV

After this morning’s little problem, I decided to have lunch with Noel. Have some us time. Vent. Talk. You know the usual shit best friends do. As much as I love Emily, I needed to just breathe for a second after everything that’s happened.

‘’ So Al… Care to tell me why you and Em we’re eating each other’s faces this morning?’’ 

‘’ What?!’’

‘’ You had sex didn’t you’’ it wasn't even a question but still I was confused as to how he’d guessed ‘’ A couple are even more lovey dovey after their first time together it’s a know fact!’’ he laughs 

‘’What that’s so not true!’’ I scoff, that’s seriously a ridiculous idea

‘’ Fine… That might not be but I know you and Emily did it!’’ he points out… I just look down at my lunch and pretend not to hear anything. I wasn't like this before about sex but this is me and Em… It’s special, it has meaning 

‘’ Come on, Al! Why don’t you just tell me?!’’ he lightly punches my shoulder

‘’ Fine. We did it and it was magical now can we please move on!’’ I mutter really fast under my breath

‘’ I knew it!!! and ‘magical’ heyyyy’’ he laughs dragging out the hey

‘’ If you don't know how to be serious then I won’t talk about it!’’ I affirm

‘’Fine. Let me put my serious face on.’’ his smirk actually disappears and becomes a serious expression ‘’ Ok. So Alison, how was it?’’ I can tell he means it

‘’ It was breath-taking… It wasn't just sex and listen to how cheesy I’m about to be! Be ready? You ready?’’ I ask gleefully as he nods rapidly ‘’ We made love!’’ I exclaim but not too loud I mean we are in school ‘’ It wasn't just physical’’

‘’ Wow!’’ he utters ‘’ That does sound quite amazing. Being able to be there like that with someone you love’’ he smiles and seems to be lost in thought as he looks past my shoulder 

I snap him back to reality ‘’ Earth to Noel!’’

‘’ Sorry!’’ he says, his eyes filled of… hope and love???

‘’ Noel… did you just zone out on me… about a girl???’’ I finish 

‘’ WHAT??? No!’’ he reacts too quickly

‘’Come on! I know there’s a girl there! You need to tell me who she is!’’

‘’ I won’t!’’ he replies

‘’ Fine… At least describe her to me’’ I plead

‘’ Sure… I guess there’s no harm in that.’’ he hesitates ‘’ Where shall I start let’s see…’’ he deliberately takes him time and taps his chin as if deep in thought

‘’Duuude! Come on!’’ I force him

‘’ Ok! Ok! So she is really pretty! A lot of people say she kinda has a baby face but I find she has a charm and that just adds on to it… I won’t describe her much cause then you’ll find out who she is’’ I gave him my best pout   
‘’ Nope sorry! That might work with Emily but not me! Ok, I’ll tell you two more things I like about her. She has secret talent that not many know about: she sings like an angel. And she doesn’t let others opinions get in her way. Oh! One more thing! She’s got a huge heart!!!’’ he grins from ear to ear ‘’ Ok so that was 3 more things but yeah!’’

‘’ Wow… Look at my little Nono all grown up and having feelings and shit!’’ I giggle he looks at me with a mock face of disappointment ‘’ Sorry… Well, Noel, she seem like an awesome girl! I hope you grow a pair one day to do something about it!’’

 

‘’It’s not like anything’s going to happen anyways even if I did tell her’’ he says hopelessly

‘’ Don’t say that! You’re every straight girl in this school’s dream!’’ I try as I sympathetically stroke his arm

‘’Al a lot has changed… Most people I realise I’m a dick! Her included…’’

‘’ But that was before!’’

‘’ Alison, I’ve already fucked up my chance with her! It’s too late!’’ 

‘’ Woah! Hold up! You already had a shot?!’’ this information takes me aback and I can’t hell but be surprised 

‘’ Yeah… When you were gone, it was about a year ago, a bit more… I was sort of just her cover story for an actual relationship she was hiding at the time’’ he looks down at his empty tray with hurt written all over his face

 

‘’ Aw… I’m sorry Nono! I wish I could do something to help! But just show her you’ve changed and you care, I bet she’ll change her mind in a heartbeat!’’ I chirp trying to lighten the mood

‘’ I’m working on it Al… ‘’ he breathes out, his shoulders slumping down

This girl really has him worked up… I hope she can see how truly great he is! He’s my best friend and all I ask is that he be happy.

——————————————————————————————————

 

Because it’s Friday the girls and I decided to have a sleepover. Right now, we’re all sitting on my couch watching ‘’The Artist’’. It’s one of those rare films that suits everyone. It’s black and white (Aria), it’s funny (Hanna and me), it’s romantic (Emily and Aria) and it teaches you how cinema changed a lot of things (Spencer). 

We’re all laughing as we see the scene where Jean Dujardin and Marillon Cotillard tap dance as a white screen is between them when we hear the front door open.

‘’ Idiot, I’m home!’’ Jason’s voice booms

‘’ Ugly, we have company!’’ I yell back as he walks into the living room

‘’ Oh hey girls!’’ he waves before his eyes land on the small brunette on the love seat ‘’ Hey Aria’’ he adds his eyes sparkling… Oooo this is interesting

‘’ Hey Jason’’ she answers looking down embarrassed

ok this is definitely getting good!

‘’ So what are we watching?’’ he asks as he jumps between me and my girlfriend to sit on the couch

‘’ Jaaaaay!!! Why?’’ I demand

‘’ Because if it were a dude, I’d do the same thing so sorry Emily but hands off my sister for tonight’’ he says all brotherly and I can’t help but be happy and proud of the progress we've made. He truly cares

‘’ Umm… okay… It’s fine, I get it.’’ Em blushes visibly embarrassed… She’s so cute!!! ‘’ Oh and we’re watching The Artist by the way’’

——————————————————————————————————

During the film, Jason kept looking at Aria and it was hilarious cause he thought he was being discrete, but he sooooo wasn’t!!! At one point Aria even caught him staring and give him a smile and he blushed! I fuck you not! All manly 21 year old Jason blushed!!! It was so funny! But what was weird was that Aria looked down at her hands and she seemed nervous but not in like ‘OMG Im scared!!!’’ way but more like ‘’Oh my god… does he like me? do I like him?’’ way… And it kinda got slightly disturbing for me so I forced myself to concentrate on the film as thoughts of one of my best friends and my brother getting it on slowly started appearing in my mind.

 

After the film had ended, we all just sat around having a few good laughs.

‘’ Remember when you had pink hair, Aria?!’’ Hanna giggles as we all join in

‘’ Oh please! Don’t remind me! Why didn’t you guys stop me?’’ Aria whines

‘’ I thought it looked good on you’’ Jason compliments and the rest of us go silent. Aria just stares at him as he smiles kindly at her before she answers awkwardly :  
‘’ You told me that once before. Thanks! ‘’ huge pause as the awkward moment settles ‘’At least someone is being supportive in this room!’’ she adds before throwing a pillow in Hanna’s face who was drying her tears from laughing so hard about it earlier.

‘’ Ow! Bitch!!!’’ Hanna yells as he jumps up and starts to chase after Aria who had bounced of the chair before the blonde could get to her.

We all just laugh at their stupidity as they disappear somewhere upstairs.

‘’Well I think I’ve crashed enough of your girls night for tonight, so I’ll leave you girls to it.’’ He yawns getting up ‘’Emily, hands off my baby sister and baby sister hands off Emily’’ he points sternly at us only half-joking. He walks away out of the living room 

‘’ Pffft… Whatever Jason… ‘’ I dismiss him ‘’Night’’

‘’Night girls’’ he says

‘’ Woah!’’ we hear all of a sudden, Em and I snap our heads to look in the direction of the staircase where Jason and Aria and face to face like literally and Hanna is standing there behind them a few steps behind  
They both look clearly baffled and unaware of what to do

‘’Sorry’’ they say at the same time, they chuckle and Jason lets his head down before doing one of his well-known flirtatious little hair sweep… Oh boy!

‘’ No sorry it’s my fault! Should’ve looked where I was going’’ Aria chirps

‘’Don’t worry about it’’ he forgives

They both try to go one way to get around each other, they keep going the same way for like 3 times in a row. You know that thing you only see in movies, that looks cute and funny as hell but really it’s embarrassing and annoying. Finally, Jason acts like a gentleman

‘’ Go ahead’’ he motions is hand, moving out of the way so that Aria can make her way down

‘’Thanks’’ she nods shyly staring at the ground. I can see she’s trying to retain her cheeks from turning red but it’s not working!!! I would find this so cute if it weren’t for the fact that it’s my bro! I mean fine they kissed before but like still… It’s a little weird, but whatever I guess

‘’ You might as well go too Hanna’’ he gestures to Hanna who is still standing at the top of the stairs staring after Aria, probably trying to understand what just happened like everyone else in this room!

‘’ Oh.. um.. yeah sure’’ she quickly runs downstairs and sits herself on the arm rest on the love seat Aria is now sitting on again

‘’ Night, girls!’’ Jason repeats one last time as he goes up the stairs

‘’Night!’’ we reply in unison

As soon as he’s out of sight, we all turn to stare at Aria, who’s just staring into space, completely oblivious. She suddenly looks up and sees us

‘’What?!’’ she asks looking from Hanna to Spencer, Emily and I sitting on the couch.

‘’ You have to be kidding right Aria?’’ Spencer says

‘’You have a thing for Jason!’’ Emily whisper/yells ‘’Sorry, babe! I get this is awkward for you!’’ she says grabbing a hold of my hand

‘’ What there is nothing to be awkward about! I don’t feel anything for your brother, Ali!’’ she swears

‘’ Oh come on! We all saw that little moment!’’ Hanna gently nudges her

‘’ It was nothing… you guys are just imagining things’’ she says less convincingly

‘’ Hey Aria, you can like my brother. I don’t care’’ I tell her truthfully ‘’ He clearly can’t takes his eyes off of you’’

She looks at me and her eyes beam at what I’ve just told her.

‘’ Your brother is hot Alison, don’t get me wrong… But he’s your older brother to me that’s it’’ her voice wasn’t as firm or convincing as at first

‘’ Fine whatever you say’’ I shrug

‘’ Bullshit Aria!’’ Hanna calls out ‘’ Jason and Aria kissing in a tree K-I-S-S-‘’ Before she had time to finish Aria pushed Hanna sightly off the arm rest she was sitting on

‘’ Hanna! My turn to chase you now!’’ Aria jumps up and starts running after a chanting Hanna who’s found a new way to tease Aria about Jason ‘’ Jaria! Jaria!’’

‘’ I’ll kill you Han!’’ Aria booms

Spencer, Emily and I stare at each other before exploding in a fit of giggles at how ridiculous these two are being. These are the good times I want to hold on to. I look at Emily, with her head thrown back in laughter and admire her. I want to remember her in this instant. Those little dimples and the way her tanned arms flex as she holds her stomach in pain from the laughter.

‘’ Ok, I need water after all this’’ Spencer says as she wipes her laughter tears from her eyes and heads to the kitchen

I follow her with my eyes and turn my head back to see Emily staring right into my eyes. 

‘’ I love you so much’’ I tell her

‘’ I love you too babe…’’ She answers confused ‘’ Why are you saying this now? Like we usually say this when it’s just us two’’ she raises her eyebrow

I crawl into her lap and she wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me in closer. 

‘’ Because spending time with you and the girls just makes me realise how happy I am. And you’re the main reason why I’m so happy Emily’’ I answer sincerely

She leans in and I meet her halfway, although there wasn't much of a gap to close anyways. Our lips melt together and move in perfect sync. It’s honestly like we were made for one another. 

We pull away and I rest my head in the crook of her neck.

‘’ Get back here Blondie!’’ we hear Aria yell across the house

Emily pecks my forehead and leans her head against as mine as much as physically possible in this position as she whispers the sweetest words 

‘’ I can’t imagine my happy ending with anyone other than you, Alison’’


	27. She's Busy

*the next day*

Alison’s POV

I woke up with Emily’s warm embrace surrounding me. I scoot back further in to her and put my hands on hers softly

‘’ Morning babe’’ she murmurs softly in my ear before kissing my hair… Aw she’s so adorable! I turn around in her arms so I’m facing her

‘’ Hello gorgeous’’ I can’t help smiling and stare at her. Gosh she’s so damn beautiful: her eyes are still a bit small from just waking up but I feel the love burning out of them into my own, her hair is a bit messy but looks cute. 

‘’ What?’’ she asks I must have been staring too long

‘’Nothing’’ I quickly kiss her on the lips and just as I pull away she leans back in and starts kissing me passionately. It wasn't really making out it was just kissing, lips on lips, no more. But it was enough for me

‘’ I love you’’ I breathe

‘’ I love you more’’ she answers

‘’ Not possible’’ I chuckle and she just hugs me, I put my head in the crook of her neck and she just holds on to me

We stay like this for a while until

*SNAP*

‘’ What the hell?’’ I look at the end of the bed to see Hanna with her phone up in front of her

‘’ Mornin’ Lovebirds!’’ she chirps

‘’ Hey Han’’ Emily chuckles ‘’ Spence and Aria up?’’

‘’ I’m here’’ Spencer gets up and with Hanna they sit on the end of the bed as Emily let’s go of me and we both sit up

‘’ Well where’s the munchkin?’’ I wonder

‘’ Dunno, let’s go see’’ Hanna answers

We all head towards the door. Spencer is the first one and she quickly pushes us all back inside

‘’ Spencer?!?!’’ I say loudly ‘’ Why did you do that?’’

She put her finger in front of her lips, gesturing me to be silent and slowly opened the door for me

OH MY GOD!!! I quickly close the door again and lean against it

‘’ Are they…? is that…?’’ I’m unable to finish my sentences and Spencer just nods rapidly

‘’ Ok! What the actual fuck is happening here guys?’’ Hanna asks trying to move me out the way but I stop her

‘’ Aria, she’s um… busy’’ I say oddly

‘’Busy?’’ Emily raises her eyebrows questioningly

‘’ She may or may not be kissing Jason…’’ Spencer says 

‘’ What?!?!? I have to see this’’ Hanna pushes me out the way and opens the door wide ‘’HOLY SHIT!!!’’ she screams

‘’ Shit!’’ That’s Jason’s voice, we all walk out to where Hanna is now standing in the middle of the corridor

‘’ I’m sorry Ali! I can explain!’’ Aria excuses herself whilst flatting out her shirt and Jason just stands awkwardly scratching the back of his neck

‘’ I’d rather you not to be honest…’’ I reply ‘’ It’s okay… I mean that was a weird sight but it’s cool’’ I turn my heel and walk downstairs to make breakfast. The others just stand there probably shocked at what’s happened and my reaction

‘’ Alison?’’ I look up and see Jason walking in to the kitchen, I go back to mixing the batter

‘’ I’m sorry… I shouldn't have done that. She’s one of your best friends and that’s uncool! I’m so so sorry! It won’t happen again! I swear’’ He pleads

‘’ Relax Jay! I’m not mad! As I said it’s weird but I don’t care! As long as you're both happy and you promise not to hurt her than I am more than happy for you!’’ I stare him in the eyes, and I read confusion as well as joy.

‘’ Really?’’ his eyes let up

‘’ Aria! Get yourself down here! And only Aria!!!’’ I yell

I hear her coming down the steps and she awkwardly comes in and stands as far from Jason as she can

‘’ Yes Alison?’’ Gosh she makes it sound like I’m victimising her… I don’t do that anymore!

‘’ Aria! First off, relax you haven't done anything wrong you’re not in trouble, okay?’’ I reassure her making my way over to here ‘’ Second of all, ‘’ I grab her hands and look her in the eyes, they’re a little red, wow she really felt guilty ‘’ I don’t care. If that idiot over there makes you happy than I’m happy’’ she laughs a little and I sense her relax ‘’ I mean obviously it’s something I’ll need to get used to but I promise I’m ok. I mean I think you’re downgrading here’’ I say looking back at my brother with a smirk and he fakes being offended ‘’ But if you’re happy than go for it’’ I say as I push her towards my brother

‘’ Really Ali?’’ She turns towards me a metre away from Jason

‘’ Really’’ I nod

She gives me a huge grin and turns to Jason who brings her into a huge hug and she tries to wrap her small arms around his back… They actually look really cute

‘’ Can we come down now?!’’ Hanna shouts

‘’ Yes!!!’’ I answer 

When the others see Jaria in an embrace they all look at me weirdly and then back at them and back and forth

‘’ What? I don't care. I’m happy for them’’ I shrug. Emily walks up to me and gives me a hug from behind and gives me a small kiss on the cheek

‘’ I’m proud of you Alison! You’ve become the girl I always knew existed. I love you even more for that’’ she whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I put my arms around hers.

‘’ Ok! And everyone stop being cute! Spencer and I are here you know!’’ Hanna protests 

‘’ Sorry not sorry’’ Jason sticks his tongue out at her and places a kiss on Aria’s cheek

‘’ You guys are actually cute!’’ Spencer declares, Hanna gives her a scolding look ‘’ What?! It doesn't matter we can create a new team? How about Spanna? How does that sound?’’ Spencer mocks

‘’ I love it! SPANNA BEATS ALL YOUR BITCHES ARSE!’’ Hanna jumps into Spencer’s arms, she was unprepared so they both end up on the floor and we just make fun of them as Hanna grumbles ‘’ You were meant to catch me!’’

‘’ My apologies if force and gravity and the element of SURPRISE’’ she insists ‘’ are often synonym falling down’’ 

‘’ Pfffft.. Whatever. So what’s for breakfast?’’ Typical Hanna 

‘’ Well I have just finished making pancake batter’’ 

‘’ Awesome, let’s get eating then!’’ Jason says

 

After breakfast, we all went to get ready. We decided we’d go to Spencer’s lake house and leave Sunday afternoon. I texted Noel checking if he wanted to come, Spencer was cool with it so she said why not

AD: YO! We’re heading to Spencer’s lake house, you’re welcome to join if you want

NK: Im not so sure that’s a good idea Al… :(

AD: What come on?!?! It’ll help you get your mind off of things just chill 

NK: Who else is going?

AD: Aria, Spencer, Hanna, Emily and Jason so you wont be the only guy

NK: What about Caleb and Toby?

AD: Caleb had some things to finish in Ravenswood and Toby’s working this weekend… Please come! It’ll be fun I swear!

NK: Sure… Fine why not! :)

AD: YAY!!! :D meet us at my house in an hour! Oh and bring your guitar! We’ll have a campfire xxx

NK : Sure see you in a bit :)

This is going to be an awesome weekend! My best friends, my brother and my beautiful girlfriend it can’t get any better than that!


	28. Lake House Pt.1

Alison’s POV

I’m putting my suitcase in my car when I feel someone pinch my sides

‘’ AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!’’ I squeal in a higher voice than usual and throw my hands up in the air. I turn around to see Noel standing behind me laughing, holding his stomach!

‘’ Noel! That’s not funny!’’ I say hitting him 

‘’ Awe! I’m sorry Al! But your reaction was hilarious’’ 

‘’ No it wasn’t…’’ I pout

‘’ Sorry’’ he grabs me into a tight hug

‘’ Hey Noel!’’ Emily says

‘’ Hey!’’ he answers and he gives her a short awkward hug. They get along but I can tell Emily still doesn't like the idea of him hanging around me. I guess she knows something was up between us, I mean she knows about our previous hookups back when I was a bitch and he was a dick. But I can’t bring myself to tell her about when I was missing. She would just question if I what I felt for her is as strong and real as I claim.

‘’ We’re just waiting on Hanna now’’ Spencer says walking out

‘’ And Aria!’’ Jason adds excitedly with huge smile on his face

‘’ Alright lover boy! Calm down!’’ I laugh

‘’ Lover boy?’’ Noel raises his eyebrow. Right I didn’t tell him

I was about to say something when Aria stepped out yelling : ‘’ Come on Han! We are waiting for you!’’

‘’ Just watch’’ I whisper to Noel as Spencer, Emily and I look at Jason run up to her, he has his back to us

‘’ Actually we were waiting for both of you, sweetheart’’ Jason states

‘’ But you’re not anymore, are you?’’ Aria answers with a fake angry voice

‘’ No, you’re right we aren’t.’’ He grins and then leans in, she turns her head last minute and he ends up giving her a kiss on the cheek

‘’ Nope!’’ she says

‘’ Please?’’ Jason begs, I look over at Noel to see his reaction and he seems confused does he still not get what’s going on???

‘’ Fine! But only because you have the cutest puppy dog eyes ever!’’ Aria goes up on her tip toes and places a chaste kiss on Jason’s lips, who puts his hands on her waist, and deepens the kiss

I turn to Noel yet again and see his expression harden for a second before he turns away and puts his guitar and bag in the boot. Ok. Something is clearly wrong.

‘’ Ok! Jaria stop now please! Still weirded out by you guys dating!’’ I yell at them and earn a few giggles from everyone but still looking at Noel I see his shoulders tense. 

‘’ Ok! We’re good to go!’’ Hanna says closing my front door behind her

‘’ Obviously we need to take two cars. Who’s riding with who?’’ Spencer enquires

‘’ Well I’m not riding with Jason and Aria’’ I declare

‘’ Don’t worry as much as I love Emily, I don't want to ride with you two either’’ Jason nudges me

‘’ Fine, so Emison and Noel and then Jaria and Spanna?’’ Spencer asks

‘’ Emison? Jaria? Spanna?’’ Noel tries to laugh, but I can tell he’s hiding something ‘’ You guys are weird!’’

‘’ No we are not! Thank you very much! We are limited edition!’’ I stick my tongue out to him and he sticks his out in retaliation

‘’ Okay children come on!’’ Emily exasperates getting into my car on the drivers side

‘’ yay! Noel sit in the back with me?’’ I need to try and find out what’s going on

‘’ Yeah sure!’’

We get in and follow Emily starts to follow Jason’s car.  
We’re just making small chit chat in the car but Noel is not too responsive so I blurt out

‘’ Okay what the hell is wrong Noel?’’

‘’ALI!’’ Emily exclaims 

‘’ What?! Noel you are clearly upset about something. I’m your best friend, talk to me. I want to help. Is this about the mystery girl?’’ I turn to him the best my seatbelt allows me to. 

He just looks at me a blank expression on his face, he looks away quickly but not fast enough. I see a single tear roll down his cheek that he swiftly wipes away

‘’ Aww.. Noel… I’m sorry!’’ I undo my seatbelt and move to the middle seat and just hold him. I see Emily look at Noel worriedly in the mirror, no one but me knows this soft side of him. And strangely enough, Noel is a really a big softie and a romantic, kinda like Aria ‘’What happened, Nono?’’

‘’ She’s happy’’ 

‘’ Is that why you weren’t sure you wanted to come?’’ 

He seems to hesitate for a second before answering ‘’ In a way. I try so hard Al… I did everything I was supposed to but she doesn't notice anything. I screwed up last time and she’s clearly not planning on forgiving me’’ His voice breaks

‘’ Well it’s her loss then! If she can’t see how great you are, all the changes you’ve made for her then she doesn’t deserve you’’ I attempt soothingly

He just nods and I lean my head on his shoulder and he leans his head on mine. I grab a hold of his hand and I see Em shuffle nervously in her seat. I look at her in the rear-view mirror and mouth ‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields’’ she stops squirming and gives a small smile as she blushes and looks back at the road.

We stay quiet for a bit until Good Day by Nappy Roots comes on, Emily puts the volume louder hoping to lighten the mood. And oddly enough it’s work. Emily’s put her feel good playlist on and we’re all singing along to every song. Trying to leave our worries behind, Noel more than us.

——————————————————————————————————

We’re finally here and we’re all arguing about who’s sleeping where…

‘’ I chose who goes where this is my lakehouse!’’ Spencer calls over us, we nod in agreement.

‘’ Um can I just say something?’’ Aria says quietly raising her hand ever so slightly ‘’ Jason and I aren’t sharing a room and I’m pretty sure Emily and Ali shouldn't cause well no one wants to hear that’’ she giggles

‘’ What!? No! That’s so unfair!’’ I whine ‘’ Why! I swear we won’t do anything we’ll just sleep! Please!’’ I beg as Emily just stands there grinning  
‘’ Nope. I agree. No way in hell is my sister sharing a bed with her girlfriend. I’m pretty sure the parents made the rules clear Ali’’ Jason tells me

‘’ It’s fine, babe!’’ Emily says as I pout ‘’ We can spend a night apart, it’s what we usually do anyways..,’’

‘’ But-‘’

‘’ Not buts Ali! No one wants to hear anyone getting it on with anyone! Understood?’’ Hanna exclaims pointing her finger at me and Em and Jay and Aria. We just nod. ‘’ Good. Now, Spencer, sleeping arrangements?’’

‘’ Well we have 4 bedrooms and there is 7 of us. So guys, you might as well take one bedroom each and then Aria, Ali and I can share my room and Hanna and Em can share another.’’

‘’ Awesome!’’ Noel says and we all rush upstairs to get the best room and drop our bags. 

We all meet back downstairs afterwards and just hang out together having fun.

—————————————————————————————————

*That night*

We’re all sitting around a camp fire on the back porch over looking the lake and we’re just laughing sharing jokes or ridiculous horror stories. Spencer is next to Noel, and Jason is sitting with his arm around Aria in front of us. I’m sitting on Emily’s lap, next to Hanna, Em has her arms around my waist as I hold a our stick with roasted marshmallows on them. I take one off and turn to put it in her mouth. She looks really cute in her little beanie and her black duffel coat. She takes the whole marshmallow in one go and gives me a quick peck on my nose, that I scrunch up as a reflex.

‘’ Thank you, princess’’ she grins.

‘’ You’re welcome, love’’ I look back at our friends and see Noel get up

‘’ Where you going?’’ I ask him

‘’ I’ll be back in one sec’’ he answers and with that he goes inside the house

He comes back out minutes later with his guitar

‘’ Yay!’’ I clap my hands ‘’ Song time!’’

‘’ Wow! Ali, calm down…’’ Hanna laughs

‘’ Sorry I just love music!’’

‘’ You ready Al?’’ Noel smirks knowingly as he strums the first few chords to a song we would listen to back when it was just me and him against the world, well more like A. But still, it was our pick-me up song.

‘’ Born ready’’ Everyone stares at us confused

I close my eyes and pay attention to the melody of the guitar

Like a small boat  
On the ocean  
Sending big waves  
Into motion  
Like how a single word  
Can make a heart open  
I might only have one match  
But I can make an explosion

I open my eyes and smile at my best friend

And all those things I didn't say  
Wrecking balls inside my brain  
I will scream them loud tonight  
Can you hear my voice this time?

Noel joins me for the chorus

This is my fight song  
Take back my life song  
Prove I'm alright song  
My power's turned on  
Starting right now I'll be strong  
I'll play my fight song  
And I don't really care if nobody else believes  
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

I look at my family. Everyone single one of these people here tonight. They are my family and I know how hard it was for me and for them especially when I played dead for two years.

Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep  
Everybody's worried about me  
In too deep  
Say I'm in too deep (in too deep)  
And it's been two years  
I miss my home  
But there's a fire burning in my bones  
Still believe  
Yeah, I still believe

And all those things I didn't say  
Wrecking balls inside my brain  
I will scream them loud tonight  
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song  
Take back my life song  
Prove I'm alright song  
My power's turned on  
Starting right now I'll be strong  
I'll play my fight song  
And I don't really care if nobody else believes  
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat  
On the ocean  
Sending big waves  
Into motion  
Like how a single word  
Can make a heart open  
I might only have one match  
But I can make an explosion

 

Aria starts clapping to the beat and everyone joins in, Jason and Hanna even stomping their feet on the ground, causing them to laugh.

 

This is my fight song (Hey!)  
Take back my life song (Hey!)  
Prove I'm alright song (Hey!)  
My power's turned on  
Starting right now I'll be strong (I'll be strong)  
I'll play my fight song  
And I don't really care if nobody else believes  
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

We all scream the last lyric:

No I've still got a lot of fight left in me

‘’ WOOOOOO!!!’’ we all cheer and clap and Jason even wolf whistles 

‘’ I had no idea you sang babe!’’ Emily tells me

‘’ Something Noel and I did in our spare time’’ I smirk and give her a small kiss on her nose

‘’ Next song please!’’ Hanna smiles like a kid

‘’ Ok, sure’’ Noel thinks before his eyes light up and he speaks to Aria ‘’ I know you know this, help me out with it?’’

Aria looks at him weirdly and as soon as he starts playing his guitar she says  
‘’ You remember?’’

‘’ Of course, I do’’ he quickly looks down and keeps strumming… hold up though… what does he remember and how does he know… this is weird, i think to myself as he meets her eyes once again

 

Across the evening sky, all the birds are leaving  
Oh, but then you know, it was time for them to go  
By the winter fire, I will still be dreaming  
I do not count the time, for who knows where the time goes?

This is kinda weird… It’s not really a sing along type of song… 

Who knows where the time goes?  
Sad, deserted shore, your fickle friends are leaving  
Oh, but then you know, it was time for them to go

Ok now it’s really weird… they haven’t torn their eyes off of each other since the song began! Shit…

But I will still be here, I have no thought of leaving

Baby face, charm,

I do not count the time for who knows where the time goes?

Hidden talent,

Who knows where the time goes?

Big heart,

I know I'm not alone while my love is near me

They had a thing but she was hiding relationship and he fucked up…

I know that it's so until it's time to go  
All the storms in winter and the birds in spring again  
I do not count the time, for who knows where the time goes?

Dammit Ali!!! HOW DID YOU NOT SEE THIS EARLIER!!! FUUUUUUUUCCK! I’m a terrible best friend!!! 

Who knows where the time goes? Who knows where the time goes?   
Who knows where the time goes?

As the song ends we all just stay quiet

‘’ Wow, that was um… something’’

‘’ Hanna!’’ Spencer hushes

‘’ What?! I’m just saying…’’ she grumbles

‘’ Woah, honey I had no idea you sang like that… It was beautiful, you’re beautiful’’ Jason says turning to Aria next to him. Crap. My best friend likes my other best friend who also happens to be my brother’s girlfriend. Shit. 

Aria detaches her gaze from Noel and a trace of confusion and guilt wipes across her face for a second before she turns to Jay   
‘’ Thanks, sweetie’’ they both lean in for a kiss and the instant their lips meet. Noel bounces up

‘’ I’m tired… So I think I’m gonna go. Goodnight everyone.’’ He runs out and I just stare after him

‘’Fuck.’’ I say under my breath

‘’ Babe?’’ Emily questions as I get up. 

‘’ I just need to talk to Noel. I remembered I needed his advice on something.’’ I try my best to sound convincing.

‘’ Why don’t you just ask one of us?’’ Damn it Spence, do you have to be such a fast thinker???

‘’ Because its about my girlfriend’’ I lie bending down giving Emily a passionate kiss  
‘’ ooooo! juicy!’’ Hanna laughs

‘’ Oh grow up Han!’’ I retort ‘’ I’ll probably go to bed afterwards so see you later guys!’’ I add as I walk away

‘’ Night!’’ they say in unison 

‘’ Night night don’t let the rapists bite!’’ I hear Hanna yell behind me and I laugh because let’s face as stupid and weird as that sounds it just makes it all the more laughable haha!

I walk up to Noel’s door and knock

He opens ‘’ Ali?’’ his voice is weak his eyes are a little red 

‘’ I know.’’

That’s all I need to say before he drags me into his room. And closes it behind me.


	29. Lake House Pt.2

Alison’s POV

‘’ You know as in…’’ he trails off

‘’ Aria. I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out earlier! I’m so sorry! I’m a terrible friend!’’ I exclaim

‘’ Hey no, Alison, that’s not true. You aren't a terrible friend. Its not your fault. I didn’t tell you.’’ He reassured me

‘’ This isn't what matters right now’’ I realise ‘’ so you have feelings for Aria, huh?’’ he just nods and walks to his bed and slumps down on it.

‘’ Hey it’s ok…’’ I say sitting next to him patting his back softly

He rolls over and stares at me ‘’ It’s not ok Al… she’s with someone else… someone who clearly makes her happy, someone I clearly can’t compete with. And I hate myself so much for letting her just slip away. She’s right there, Al. I had her at the tip of my fingers and I lost her and I kept fighting to win her back but to no use…’’ his voice breaks as he sits up, his back against the headrest 

I have nothing to say. I mean she’s dating my brother, who is turning out to be a good guy. I can’t argue with Noel.

‘’ I’m sorry Noel and don't hate yourself. You did everything you could. You tried. That’s more than most’’ I finally say moving up next to him on the bed‘’ I wish I could help… But there’s loads of girls out there and we’re still young, this isn't the end of your life! Trust me’’ I attempt

‘’ I know but it just hurts so much Al…’’ he lays his head on my shoulder 

‘’ I know sweetie… But it’ll get better. It doesn't seem like it right now but in time the hurt will diminish until its disappeared.’’ I reassure him. We sit in silence holding hands as I try to soothe him. 

‘’ Alison?’’

‘’ Yeah Noel?’’

‘’ Is this how it felt when Emily said no the first time?’’

‘’ Well, it definitely felt like my heart had been tossed out, like it was me who had failed her, like it was my fault, which it kinda was though let’s be honest… It hurt to even just think of her. I felt like a broken record. My heart just breaking over and over and over and over again’’ I sigh the memories of the pain hitting me 

‘’ How did you get past it?’’

‘’ I never did…’’ I admit ‘’ For those first weeks I was back I cried myself to sleep most nights or I would go to the Kissing Rock and imagine life if I had never been so mean’’ 

‘’ Wow… I didn’t know’’

‘’ That’s cause I never told you’’ I smile down at him

We keep talking all night. Some times we say stupid things, we look back and laugh. Sometimes we have deep conversations, both of us on the verge of tears or crying ( yes I cried OK? deal with it! I’m a changed person). And sometimes we just sat there cuddling and enjoying each other’s presence. 

It was nice. He’s my best friend and I can’t stand to see him hurt. He’s tried so hard to change, just like me. But so far to no avail. No one has really noticed and a lot of people still throw him shade for his past. And I don't get it. They’ve forgiven me and I used to be way meaner than him.

——————————————————————————————————

Emily’s POV

It was about 5 AM when I got up to get myself a glass of water. Ali didn’t come back after she ran after Noel. It worries me that they spend so much time together. I mean I know I shouldn’t. But who knows what happened during those 2 years where only he knew about her being alive. I know what was going down between them before she left, why would it stop after? 

I’m overthinking. He’s her best friend. It’s normal that if he seems upset she’s going to comfort him. But surely he doesn't need that much comforting… No come on! Snap out of it Em! She loves you. She’s told you countless times. She’s come out to the school. She’s not like that anymore.

‘’ Ali’’ I hear a voice say as I reach the top of the stairs, it sounds like Noel ‘’ Thank you for tonight, I had a great time’’ Um… ‘scuse me what?

‘’ Me too, Noel… It’d been while since we’ve done this’’ What the fuck? I twist my neck down the corridor to see them standing inches apart in Noel’s room’s doorway

‘’ What you talking about? we do this all the time at school’’ what do they do at school? is this what I miss when they have there own lunches???

‘’ Yeah but it’s not the same. It’s less intimate!’’ OK WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON!!!!! Should I step out and say something? 

‘’ I guess you’re right, it is a lot more private here’’

Of course I should, something is not right here. I’m about to turn the corner of the corridor leading to Noels room when my heart drops  
‘’ I love you Noel’’ yeah right… she loves me, spoke to fucking soon

‘’ I love you too Alison’’ I can’t stay any longer I storm back to the room I share with Hanna.

I knew she was just using me! I had to chose my heart over my gut! What a bloody idiot! Of course she never truly loved me! She just knew this would her get a good reputation again! She never loved me… 

I cry myself to sleep, hurt, betrayed but mainly angry at what I’ve just heard…

——————————————————————————————————

I wake up a couple hours later to someone on top of me.

‘’ Ugh… Fuck off Hanna… I’m not in the mood’’ I say pushing Hanna off the bed

‘’ Ow! Good morning to you too…’’ Shit! That’s not Hanna. I sit up real quick

‘’ Alison? Sorry!’’ 

‘’ It’s ok… But you have to make up for it’’ she says coming closer to me. I know what’s about to happen so I quickly get up before she has time to lean in.

‘’ I really need a shower!’’ I give her a quick kiss on the cheek and rush off to the bathroom

As I showered, I replayed last nights events in my head and then the dream that haunted me last night. It consisted of me watching Noel and Ali about to have sex constantly whilst she proclaims never to have loved me and then her saying I’m shit in bed and that only a man like Noel could ever satisfy her needs. So yeah… All in all, the last 4 hours sleep I had were great. 

I sigh as I get dressed and walk downstairs. I enter the kitchen to see everyone laughing and Noel has his arm around Ali’s shoulders… I look down and go to the fridge… They’re doing it on purpose they have to be!

‘’Morning Em!’’ they all say in unison

‘’ Hi’’ I say flatly  
Ali frowns at me and comes up to me. 

‘’You ok, love?’’ she whispers as she puts her arms around my neck. All I can see right now is her and Noel…

‘’ Yeah… just didn’t sleep well’’ I half-lie

‘’ I’m sorry baby!’’ she says sweetly… she’s mocking me. She gives me a kiss and pulls away after she realises I’m not reacting

‘’ Not today Alison’’ I unwrap her arms from my neck grab my apple and juice. They all stare at me weirdly as I just walk out and just go sit by the lake

I hold the tears in. I can’t ruin their day. It wouldn’t be fair.

‘’ Hey’’ Jason sits next to me I just nod.

For a while, he doesn't say anything he just sits there beside me and I’m grateful for it. But he does break the silence at one point

‘’ Emily… something’s up. I can tell. Want to tell me why you pushed away you girlfriend? The one you couldn't keep you hands off last night?’’ 

‘’ There’s nothing to talk about Jason. As I told Alison. I’ve had a rough night.’’ I reply coldly not even looking his way

‘’ My bet is you’re pissed at Ali. You know how I know that? I noticed the only time you call her by her full name you’re pissed at her and also when she kissed you did nothing. Which is not what you usually do. Listen I won’t tell Ali, but you need to sort whatever this is out’’ He gets up and gives me a small pat on the shoulder ‘’ Oh and Em we’re leaving in 3 hours after lunch’’

I don’t answer I just there. Thinking of simpler times. Dreaming of my perfect life. I remove my shorts and t-shirts, I’d put my swimsuit on beneath my clothes. I jump in the water and I swim. It’s always helped me relax and clear my thoughts. 

After about an hour or so, I go out. I just sit there on the dock and admire the view.  
———————————————————————————————  
*an hour and a half later*

‘’ We’re going soon, Mermaid!’’ She calls out behind me

I turn around to see her standing there, looking gorgeous as ever. It kills me to know it was all most likely fake. That all the good times we spent together don't mean what I thought they did.

‘’ Ok, give me 10 mins to go shower and I’ll be there’’ I say getting up walking straight past her. As I walk up the stairs, I see her staring at me confused.

‘’ I know Alison’’ I say before rushing to the bathroom so she wouldn't get a chance to say anything

——————————————————————————————————

Alison’s POV

‘’ Aria, you going home or staying with Jason for a bit?’’ Emily asks as we pack the last of our things in the car. She still hasn't spoken to me since that mysterious ‘’ I know’’, I’ve tried to talk to her but she always finds something to do.

‘’ Yeah, why?’’ Aria answers

‘’ Well you guys should ride with us. So that it’s easier and we don't do loads of different stops’’ 

‘’ What about Noel?’’ I question

‘’ He can ride with Spencer and Hanna in her car.’’ she answers coldly 

I decide not to push it, I don’t want to cause a scene if front of everyone but I am seriously gonna talk to her once we’re home. She’s clearly pissed at me about something and for once I know I didn’t do anything wrong!

‘’ Fine.’’ I say dryly in response and try to burn the back of her head with my glare. Now she’s got me mad. I turn over to Noel and look at him with an apologetic smile ‘’ You going to be alright Noel?’’

‘’ Yeah don’t worry! It’ll give me a good chance to get to know your friends.’’ He seems every bit as confused at me and I hold my hand up to my ear like a phone to show him I’ll call him later.

‘’ Right. Alison. Jason and Aria. Let’s go.’’ Emily basically orders. We shuffle in her driving, me in the passenger seat and Jaria at the back. As we drive away, I wave goodbye to our friends who stand there speechless about Emily’s behaviour in the past few hours.

Emily ignores me the whole ride home. I try to start idle chatter but her answer are short and dry so after a while I just decide to give up. Meanwhile Aria and Jason were cuddling in the back seat of the car being all lovey dovey and cute… I feel bad for thinking about how cute they look, especially now that I know about how Noel feels. Em makes sure to keep both of her hands on the wheel even when I had my hand turned upright in a clear sign for her to hold it. I try my best the whole way but everything fails. Now I’m pissed that she’s pissed but I’m also upset because I know I’m the reason. Even though I have no clue as to why I’m the reason I still feel like shit for making her feel this way.

We pull up at my house and we all get out. The happy couple take their stuff and go inside laughing. Emily takes her stuff out and heads to her car and puts her things inside it.

‘’ Um… Em? What are you doing?’’ what the actual fuck has gotten into her?!

‘’ Um… going home, Alison! What does it look like I’m doing?!’’ Emily answers angrily. fuck this shit, she is going tell me what is going on because I am not happy about how she is treating me right now!

‘’ Ok! What the fuck Emily? What is wrong?’’ She faces me and her muscles are tense and her hands in fists…. she’s really scaring me right now ‘’ Why are you acting like this?! I haven’t done anything!’’ I exasperate

‘’ You’re kidding right?’’ she cocks her eyebrows and crosses her arms over her chest ‘’ I know Alison’’ 

‘’ Know what?’’

‘’ About you and Noel’’ huh? She understands I’m confused and continues ‘’ I know you fucked him last night! Don't lie to me!’’ WHAAAAAAATTT?!?! I’m too shocked to say anything. How can she possibly think that??? She walks right up to me and stares me down as I feel tears starting to form in my eyes   
‘’ I saw you this morning leaving his room talking about how happy you were you did it and how it was so intimate! ‘I love you Noel’?! What the actual fuck!!!! You fucking used me Alison! I should've known I was just some tool for you to get a reputation! Well guess what Alison fucking DiLaurentis: it ain’t gonna happen! I am gonna make you miserable, the same way you have made me feel since the day we met! Once a slut, always a slut!’’ I crumble to the floor, unable to speak, sobbing hysterically desperately clutching at my heart to keep the very few remaining pieces of my heart in place… But it’s not working. She looks at me one last time before storming off to her car and driving away. All of a sudden I feel someone grab me and carry me into the house, Jason. He shouts for Aria, who comes running

‘’ Ali? Ali? Sweetie’’ Aria worries ‘’ What happened?’’ I look up at her curl myself into a ball 

‘’ She didn’t let me explain. She left. My-my-my heart’’ I stutter as I feel my heart contract at every word I say, causing me a huge amount of pain

‘’ Shit…’’ Jason mutters

‘’ Jason, babe? Can you go and make us some tea?’’ he just nods and walks out ‘’Ali, sweetie… I need you to look at me’’ she raises my head and I meet her emerald eyes ‘’ Breathe okay? Look at me’’ I try to match my breathing to hers and after a few minutes I have recomposed myself even though my heart is missing. 

‘’ Now you ready to tell me what happened?’’ Aria tempts just as Jason walks back in to the room with the tea and cups. He sets them down and gives each of us a cuppa.

I tell her what happened and every word Emily said

‘’ It’s not true Aria though! I swear! I spent the night with Noel because he was down about something and he needed his best friend. We spent the night laughing and talking and when I left I meant ‘I love you’ as a best friend because it had been a while since we’d spent such along time like that together and Em- She’’ I start tearing up again 

‘’ Shhh… It’s ok Ali! It can be fixed’’ Jason tries

‘’ It can’t Jay! SHE BROKE UP WITH ME! SHE HATES MY GUTS!!!’’ I scream

‘’ That is not the Alison DiLaurentis we know! You are going to fight!’’ Aria throws back

‘’ How?! How am I supposed to do that Aria?! She doesn't even want to speak to me?!’’ I cry

The room falls silent as neither know what to say

‘’ You know what the worst is out of all this?’’ they shake their heads ‘no’  
‘’ We never got to go on a real date…’’ I lament

‘’ I thought she took you on one?’’ Aria says surprised

‘’ Yeah she tried, but I kinda didn’t make it seem like a date. I wasn't out yet and so I flirted with the waiter, I was a complete asshole’’ I feel so ashamed at myself for that night.

‘’ I have an idea!’’ Jason sits up, Aria and I look at him intrigued and a little bemused that my older brother has an idea to solve this dilemma ‘’ Take her on a date’’ he says simply

‘’ Jason… How is that going to work if she wont see me? How can I ask her to said date?’’ I reply

‘’ Easy. Have one of the girls offer to take her out. Go to that same restaurant where you fucked up. Meet her inside. But have the girls ease her into listening to you first so she doesn't run away the second she sees you. Oh! And get her like a really ultra personal gifts!’’

‘’ Who knew my boyfriend was such a romantic?’’ Aria smiles and leans in and they kiss.

‘’ You are adorable’’ I chime ‘’ Thats a great idea! So when should I do this then? ‘’ I wonder

‘’ The sooner the better’’ Aria replies 

‘’ Okay then tomorrow night. I need time to get the gift. Aria can you get Hanna to go see Emily right now and start to cool her down and stuff? Please’’ I beg  
‘’ Sure, I’ll go do it right now!’’ she gets up from the couch and calls Hanna

I grab my car keys heading out ‘’Ali, what you getting her?’’ Jason calls out behind me

I turn around and smile as I answer

‘’ A Happy Ending’’


	30. My Love is Hate and My Hate is Love

Emily’s POV *in her room*

The nerve of her! How dare she cry? She deserved it! Every single word! She humiliated me!   
She cries when she’s the one who acted the way she did! People never truly change! Alison will never change! I should’ve known that by now! What an idiot! I was just her ticket into people’s good opinion… 

The worst bit is that it actually physically pains me that she did this to me! And it shouldn't but I can’t help it! I fucking love her! She’s my whole bloody world! And I hate her for doing this to me! I hate loving her! 

‘’ EM! Come on! Open up!’’ Great. Hanna is knocking at my door 

I go downstairs fuming and open the door.

‘’ Hey… Aria called me’’ great, just what i need

‘’ I don’t want a pity party Hanna. All I want is to be left alone in my pool of pathetic, idiotic, foolish, and desperate love.’’ I say about to close the door

She puts her hands in front of it and pushes it open and walks in.

‘’ You need to hear her out Em!’’

‘’ Hear her out? Are you fucking kidding right now? You’re taking her side?! She cheated on me whilst I was next door to her pretty much! She used me!’’ I scream tears starting to roll down my cheeks

‘’ You don’t know that Emily! You saw her leave and say ‘I love you’ to her best friend! I tell you ‘I love you’ all the time! Doesn't mean we had sex!’’ She retorts

‘’ It doesn’t! But Alison and Noel are different! They’ve always played with people and manipulate them! I’m just a tool for her! She never actually loved me!’’ I screech as I fall to the floor no longer able to keep it together

‘’ Em… Please don’t do this yourself. Don’t keep second-guessing her every word and actions. Ali truly loves you.’’ She sits next to me on the floor as I curl in a ball ‘’When you left, Jason had to carry her inside because she was unable to cope with what had just happened… She didn’t cheat. Please just listen to her, let her explain’’ 

‘’ I can’t Hanna’’ I sniffle as she hugs me ‘’ She just keeps hurting me over and over. My heart it— it hurts sooooo much…’’

‘’ Shhhh it’s ok, I got you Emmy…’’ she gently strokes my hair as she tries to soothe me ‘’ Just promise you’ll try, please Emily?’’ 

‘’ I’ll try but I won’t promise anything… I don’t think I’ll ever be ready…’’ I just hold on tight to her

Alison hurt me too many times before. And I don’t want any more excuses or lies or tales. I can’t deal with all this anymore. I can’t deal with Alison anymore.

——————————————————————————————————

*the next day (Monday)*

I couldn’t go to school today. I just couldn’t face her. Mum wasn’t coming back till Wednesday so I was fine. I told the girls I would stay in, they didn’t ask why. They all knew about what happened and for some odd reason they were all convinced that Alison was not a bad guy here. Which I strongly doubt. She got exactly what she wanted, everyone under her thumb without them even realising it. What a bitch. A beautiful, flawless bitch… 

Agh! I have to stop this! Nothing was ever real! She never loved you Emily! I won something out of it though. I got to sleep with her. Once only but still I took her lesbian virginity and I couldn't help but smirk at that. That was fucking great night! This thought quickly sickens me… I didn’t think I was sleeping with her but actually making love. Corny right? But it just felt so real… I’m such an idiot. I shouldn't have let her back into my heart. It hurts even more this time around because of everything that happened between us… 

The girls insisted on taking me out tonight to get my mind off of her. They told me we were going to a restaurant in Ravenswood so that we wouldn't run into her. They’re coming to pick me up in 30 mins so I decide to get ready.  
I decide to put on simple khaki jeans, a white tee and my denim jacket with the white fleece collar on. Simple but nice-ish. They’re lucky I’m not wearing the sweatpants I wore all day. Just as I finish applying light make up, so as to not look completely dead, I hear a car honk. I look out my window to see Spencer’s car in front of my house. I quickly grab my bag and run out the door, making sure to lock it behind me.

As I jump in the car I find myself seated next to Aria.

‘’ Hey, you’re early’’ I breathe

‘’ Yeah, I thought the reservation was a little later’’ Spencer answers as she drives off

‘’ Reservation? where the hell are we eating?’’ Im surprised I mean we usually just got like a sorta cafe or a burger joint. Never to like an actual restaurant!

‘’ Just a place I heard of’’ Spencer replies hastily… Weird…

‘’ So… Em, you thought about what we talked about last night?’’ Hanna asks me… 

‘’ I thought this was supposed to get my mind off her?’’ I answer back

‘’ It is but that part will come later… We’re just curiously concerned friends’’ Aria says

‘’ Fine…’’ I grunt ‘’ I don’t know… Its just hurts so bloody much! And I’m sick of hearing lies or partial truths. I just wanted a simple normal relationship and it looks like it wasn't even real… And who’s to say she’s not just playing again? Who’s to say this is not some sort of master plan of hers?’’ I start to raise my voice

‘’ Em… She was completely destroyed when you left yesterday… she didn’t come to school and when I went to check up on her she was clearly depressed. Trust me on this, it’s a misunderstanding’’ Aria continues

‘’ Yeah… whatever… I’ll see’’ I finish the conversation and look out the window as we pass the sign ‘Now entering Ravenswood’… I remember the last time I came here, with Alison… It didn’t go so well

——————————————————————————————————

We were walking along the streets and I was really starting to get hungry.

‘’ Girls! Seriously where are we going?’’ I whine

They all suddenly stop and look at the building in front of them. I step in front and immediately recognise the place… 

‘’ From Paris with Love…’’ I murmur I turn around and look at my friends ‘’ Is this some sort of sick joke?’’ I yell 

‘’ No it isn’t! Em! Just turn around please’’ Hanna begs so I do as she says

And there through the window I see the most beautiful sight… She’s not looking at me at first but when she sees me she stops and just stares.

 

Alison’s POV

She’s here! She’s just staring at me and here eyes seem unreadable… I offer her a small smile. She blinks and turns back to the girls. All I see is her raising her hands and gesticulating a lot. My guess is she isn’t too happy… All of sudden the girls are pushing her in and she’s through the door. She stands there and does not budge. Ok come on Alison! You got this!

I walk over to her ‘’ Emily, please, let me tell you what happened. Let me prove to you you’re the only one who has my heart. Please give me a chance?’’ I beg

‘’ Fine. But you’re starting to run out of those’’ She says flatly

‘’ Okay’’ I turn on my heel and walk us back over to our table. I pull out her chair and allow her to sit down. Something she would usually do but I need to prove to her I am as committed as she is to us.

As I sit down, I admire how beautiful she is even in the most simple clothes. Her eyes don’t shine as much as they usually do but I still find myself transfixed by their natural splendour

‘’ I’m waiting’’ she says as she looks at her menu

‘’ Right…’’ I take a breath and ready myself ‘’ That night… Noel was bummed about something he was really depressed about the girl he likes and I comforted him. He’s my best friend and I know what’s he going through. Noel’s like me. He changed but only no one cares or notices. He felt so alone, sad and depressed that we stayed up all night talking about everything and nothing, laughing. Just doing what we did when I was on the run from A. Enjoying each others company. That’s what we meant by intimate ‘cause Noel and I hadn't hung out somewhere private in so long so we were always sorta filtered and that night we had a bunch of deep meaningful conversations. When you heard ‘I love you’ I meant it as a friend the same way I’ll tell Aria, Hanna or Spencer.’’ I was almost in tears by this point ‘’But it is nowhere near the love I feel for you! Trust me! I love you so much, I would do anything for you. I can’t imagine a life without you in it Emily! I know we’re young but I am so sure that you are my ONE! The only way I see a happy ending for me, Emily, is if you are in it!’’

Emily’s POV

Wow… shit! I fucked up… again… damn emily! There was no way that was acting, those were clearly heartfelt words. Each one strung a cord in me

‘’ ok… Let’s say, hypothetically, I believe you’’ a small smile plays on her lips, gosh those cute little dimples ‘’ How do I know Noel feels this way? How do I know for him it didnt mean more!’’

‘’ Because he likes someone… duh’’ okay she didn’t get it

‘’ Have you ever considered it might be you?’’ I lean over the table slightly my arms resting on it

‘’ Ha!’’ she scoffs ‘’ Trust me it’s not me!’’

‘’ How do you know?’’ I reply

‘’ Because he told me’’ She leans over too and our faces our so close, kissing distance really

‘’ Oh really now? last time I checked he refused to tell you’’ I smirk, I can’t help myself from looking from her eyes to her lips

‘’ That’s what we talked about that night, I’d figured it out’’ she answers

‘’ Smart’’ I lean in a little more ‘’ Sexy’’ she leans in and our lips are just about connect

‘’ hum hum!’’ someone coughs next to us. I hang my head low as I Ali whips her head to the disturbance

‘’ Can you not see we were busy?’’ I try to stifle a chuckle at her question

‘’ Sorry… I was hoping actually that I would be the person you’d busy with’’ I recognise that voice, I look at the waiter

The guy from last time great. Ali notices me fuming and quickly jumps in

‘’ Well actually I’m here with my gorgeous girlfriend and you interrupted something very important! I suggest you find another waiter for our table because I don’t want you disturbing us’’ she snaps and I smile so wide at her 

She really does love me. The guy walks away, dick in hand, looking like a fool.

‘’ Em… Stop staring it’s rude’’ she points out looking down at her menu

‘’ No, I’m your girlfriend it’s mandatory.’’ I giggle as I remember the time she had told me that in the school corridor. She rolls her eyes at me as I just keep admiring her. ‘’ By the way, I think, I say, I think we were in the middle of something’’ I lean across the table and she looks up and smiles at me she leans in to and very quickly gives me a light peck on the lips. She goes back to her menu  
‘’ Fucking tease’’ I mutter

‘’ Me? Never!’’ she throws me a playful wink and bites her bottom lip a little

She’s really loving this.

And I really love her.


	31. The Second Night

Alison’s POV

The dinner went great. Emily and I just laughed all night long. It was as if nothing had ever happened. We talked about everything and nothing. The way we always do. I couldn't help but admire her smile, flashing her pearly whites at me. Although her eyes were dark, they still managed to light up my whole universe. huh… who would have thought that me, the Ali Di, the HBIC, the it girl, the ex-bitch, the one who almost got pregnant; who would have thought that I would be so cheesy about love, about my love, and nonetheless about my best friend, my Emily… 

The waiter had tried a couple more times to get my attention and only did so when Emily was in the restroom or when I was heading there myself. I’d gotten so pissed off, at one point, that I picked up the nearest drink and threw it in his face. His reaction was truly priceless, his white shirt had become transparent, his gelled up hair had flopped down and everyone was laughing. But the best bit was definitely Emily's face. She was grinning from ear to ear, when she caught me staring she did what she always did. She looked down at her lap and blushed. The fact that I still had the same effect on her then when we were 15 just fills me with so much joy because I know that she's never stopped loving me. After everything, I’m still the apple of her eye.

In the car, the fun doesn't stop. As I drive, Emily turns the radio up louder. She started humming along and then quickly starts belting out Ellie Goulding’s ‘’Love Me Like You Do’’. I quickly joined in and by the end of the song, the singers voice was no longer heard and the only sound on the road was Emily and I shouting, screaming, proclaiming our love for one another at the top of our lungs.

‘’ So, my beautiful lady, what next?’’ Emily asks turning the radio down

‘’ Well, it is a school night, and I'd rather not stay up too late. Your beautiful lady needs her beauty sleep’’ I smirk as a look of disappointment flashes over her face  
‘’ Buuuuut…’’ I continue, she turns to me happily ‘’ I also want to spend more time with you. So, here's what I offer. We go back to your house.’’ I slowly trail my finger up her thigh and feel her shudder at my touch. ‘’ And just watch Netflix’’ I wink at her as I pull my hand away

‘’ I like Netflix but I prefer Netflix and chill’’ she giggles nervously. Emily was never really confident about this sort of talk. And it was all clearly new to her, but she was doing a good job. 

I laugh with her before adding: ‘’ I like the way you think, Fields.’’ And with that I drive a little faster

——————————————————————————————————  
*Explicit content*

As soon as we are inside her room, I jump up wrapping my legs around her waist. I start to kiss her passionately and she holds my butt, causing me to let out a small moan. She pushes us against the door and starts sucking on my sweet spot. I’m gonna have a nasty hickey there tomorrow but I don’t care.

She carries me to the bed and we just stare in to each others eyes as she gently sets me down. She throws her coat and her t-shirt off and I do the same. She starts squeezing my breasts through my bra and I arch my back at her touch. She uses the opportunity to take off my bra. I do the same with hers. She lies on top of me and we start making out, our breasts rubbing against each other. She moans slightly into my mouth and our tongues fight for dominance. The friction between our jeans is causing me to get more and more turned on by the second. I flip us over so she is now beneath me. Tonight is all about her. I sit up and grin at her shocked expression. I see her eyes scan my body

‘’ Gosh, how can you be so beautiful?’’ her soft voice amazes

I just lean back down and kiss her, fire burning through me as I do so. I cup her sex in my hand as I start kissing down her body, I flick one of her nipples with my tongue and take as much of her breast into my mouth as I can, sucking on it whilst rubbing her through her jeans.

‘’ Ali… Please’’ she moans

I pay attention to her other nipple as I unzip her jeans slowly. I get off from her and she removes them and I take my own off along with our underwear.

I quickly get myself back on top of her and start grinding my pussy against hers as I lean down and we kiss with lust and the fiery passion of love.   
‘’ Oh Ali!’’ she screams I kiss down her body and kiss the top her thighs and massage her breasts with one of my hands

‘’ Don’t tease babe…’’ she struggles 

‘’ Tell me what you want love’’ I say looking between her beautifully round breasts my chin resting just on her pussy.

‘’ Fuck me Ali…’’ she blushes

Without hesitation, I dive my tongue in between her pussy lips and shove it inside of her. I circle it inside of her, moving it up and down and to the sides. Going at it with full force.

‘’ Shiiit!’’ she bellows

Her moans fill the room as I play with her clit whilst eating her out. As her first wave of orgasm hits, I lap up her juices.

‘’ That was…’’

‘’ It’s not over yet…’’ I wink

I shove a finger into her and her hips buck up. I go slow at first and when I add a second finger I start pumping faster and faster. At the same time the palm of my hand slaps against her clit.

‘’ Ali! Shit! Oh my god Ali!!! Shit! Yes!’’ I curl my fingers up finding her sensitive spot and repeatedly pulling my fingers almost completely out before slamming them back in and hitting what seems to be her g-spot everytime. Her screams are enough to make me so wet that I feel the juices going down my legs. I press the flat of my tongue against her clit and start flicking it as I keep fingering her. 

‘’ Ali… I’m’’

‘’ Say it’’ I breathe against her her pussy lips, I press my lips against her clit, and my fingers are still inside her

‘’ Shit! I’M CUMMING! ALIIIIIIII’’ Her hips start to jerk and I hold them as I help her ride out her second orgasm.

Once she’s climaxed I place myself so that our pussies are in contact, basically so that we’re scissoring. 

‘’ Babe?’’ Emily’s head perks up from the pillow she had lied it on to try and gain her breath again, she props herself up on her elbows. I smirk at her mischievously

I start grinding our pussies together roughly. We moan together and I grab one of my breast massaging it and pinching the nipples between my fingers. Emily and I’s hips move together in rhythm. 

‘’ Oh! Em! Shit!’’ I growl

‘’ Fuck! Ali!’’

‘’ Yes! Yes! Yes!’’

I grab her leg and pull it towards me, putting extra pressure on my pussy. I roll my hips against her pussy and her leg

‘’ Shit! Yes! OH! FUCK!’’

I go faster and faster.

‘’ Cum with me baby!’’ I scream 

Em and I release together, our juices mixing together and our screams fill the room, maybe even the whole house.

*Explicit content over*

I fall back down next to Em, catching our breaths.

‘’ Shit! You trying to kill me Ali?’’ Em turns her head to me

I giggle nervously as she wraps her arm around me and pulls me into her side. I give her a quick kiss on the lips.

‘’ I love you so fucking much’’ I whisper against her lips as our eyes meet.

‘’ I love you too baby’’ she kisses my forehead as I nuzzle my head into her bare chest.  
I was about to close my eyes when I remembered. I sit up and she looks at me worriedly

‘’ Wait a minute. I’ll be right back!’’ I wrap a blanket around myself as I run downstairs to my handbag and grab the box out of it. I check I still have the necklace she gave me with the Eiffel tower on it and smile as I run back up to see a confused Emily resting her back on the head rest on the bed.

She sees the box in my hand and looks up at me ‘’ Ali what’s that?’’ she panics pushing herself up on bed

‘’ Don’t worry it’s not an engagement ring’’ I reassure her sitting by her. She relaxes and stares intensely into my eyes

‘’ Emily Catherine Fields. You are so fucking amazing. I don't know how you do it. You possess all of the greatest qualities, you have a killer body’’ I wink at her and she blushes looking down. I grab her hand and make her look at me again ‘’ Your eyes are kind, gentle, warm, soothing just like you. Your smile lights up the world. And I couldn’t be any happier than when I am with you.’’ 

I open the box revealing a necklace similar to mine.

‘’ This for you, Mermaid’’ I smile shyly at her suddenly very aware that this is a big gesture ‘’ Whenever you doubt, whenever you’re scared, whenever you think of giving up, I want you to look at this necklace and remember. Remember I’ll always be here for you no matter what’’ A small tear falls down her cheek and I wipe it away.

She pulls out the necklace and admires it. It has a Mermaid charm hanging next to the Eiffel Tower. Instead of engraving Forever like she did for mine, I wrote Happy Ending. Because that’s what she deserves.

‘’ Ali… I don’t know what to say… It’s beautiful’’ she whispers looking at me lovingly

‘’ You don’t have to say anything’’ I peck her lips ‘’ Just know I love you more than life itself, Emily Catherine Fields’’ 

‘’ Put it on for me?’’ she asks. I let go of the blanket that I had held around me and place the necklace delicately around her neck

She pulls me onto the bed fully. We sink in to the covers. Still naked. I place my head on her chest and she protectively wraps her arm around me. I drape mine over her stomach and with her free hand she grabs my own hand and intertwines them. 

‘’ I love you too Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’ she kisses my hair

I close my eyes. And let the warmth radiating off her body nurse me to sleep. It was late and we were meant to go to school tomorrow

Just before I was out, I heard her whisper to me, thinking I was already asleep

‘’ How did I deserve to have such perfection in my life?’’

she pulled me in closer and hugged me tighter.

I ask myself the same question every day Emily Fields.

Every day.


	32. Lunchtime Talk

Emily’s POV

*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep*

‘’ Ugh’’ I groan… I open my eyes and shut my alarm off, I turn around and see a bare back with beautiful blonde locks falling behind it

I inch myself closer to Ali and wrap my arms around her bare waist. She’s bare everywhere, I could really get use to this. I grin and kiss from the middle of her back to her head.

‘’ Wake up babe, we’ve got school’’ I whisper gently in her ear

‘’ No… Emmy I wanna stay in bed’’ she whines like a little kid  
‘’ Sorry princess but if we want to graduate in a few months time then we’re gonna have to go. Besides it’s Christmas holidays in one week!’’ I say excitedly (A/N I have no clue what time of year it is so let’s say is 14/12/2015)

‘’ Please… I don’t wanna go’’

‘’ Fine’’ I start to trail my hand down to her vagina ‘’ But in that case no sex until next year’’ I whisper huskily in her ear… I push myself up on one elbow and lightly bite her earlobe and rub her outer lips

Yup definitely could get used to waking up with her naked and hot and irresistible next to me

‘’ Em…’’ she warns. I start playing with her a bit and rub a little more rapidly

‘’ None of this for a whole two weeks and a half’’ I dip my fingers in her folds lightly… damn she’s so wet for me already 

‘’Shit… Em’’ she moans, I put two fingers into her and slightly go back and forth and I start kissing down her arm, her back still to me

‘’ Em… Fuck’’ Her breathing quickens 

‘’ So school or not?’’ she nods her head approvingly and I immediately take my fingers out of her and get off the bed

‘’ Tease!’’ she yells throwing a pillow at my back

I grin back at her as I grab some underwear 

‘’ I’m going to take a shower’’ I tell her

‘’ Can I join?’’ she asks mischievously 

‘’ I’d love that…’’ a smile appears on her face at the idea of being able to finish off what I started ‘’ But I’m taking a shower to get rid of the sex smell Ali’’ I answer

‘’ Ugh! So I’m guessing I’ll have to finish myself off then?’’ she smirks at me as she sits on my bed and opens her legs. I gulp at the sight and nod. Come on, Em! Be strong… I know we’re dating and we’ve had sex last night but still I can’t tear my eyes off of her as her hand starts to go further down her body, her pussy glistening. 

Shit shit shit! I need to leave now! The whole point of what I just did was to show her that I can tease her and not the other way around

‘’ Right so you um d—do that’’ I stutter ‘’ I’m gonna go wash’’ I quickly turn around and walk into the bathroom

I look at myself in the mirror and I see my cheeks are crazy red and I laugh at myself. To be honest, I’m not surprised. Alison has a bigger effect on me than ever now given that we’re actually dating.

‘’ Em…’’ I hear her moan from my room. Surely she’s not actually doing it? She had to be messing with me? I slightly part the door open, to see Ali rubbing herself

Right, okay… I’m gonna turn the shower on to cover the sound of that because I am starting to weaken by each moan.

I step into the shower and try to ignore the fact that my incredibly sexy girlfriend is currently in the next room touching herself thinking about me. 

That’s no easy to do and before you know it, I’m rubbing myself. Teen hormones, not my fault.

——————————————————————————————————

*lunchtime*

Alison’s POV

As I walk into the quad, I see Emily and Noel together. He’s staring at her seriously, his expression unreadable.

Fuck… I go over to them fast and make my presence known

‘’ Hello love’’ I go next to Emily ‘’ Hey Noel’’ I smile shyly at him 

‘’ Hi’’ they answer neither at them even looking at me… damn what’s happening ‘’ Sweetie, we went through this… I love you and only you’’ I say placing myself between both   
She looks down at me and offers a small smile  
‘’ I know babe, I love you too…’’ she looks back up to Noel ‘’ Noel and I are are just talking’’ she gazes down on me again and gently caresses my cheek ‘’ I promise’’ she gives me a small pec on the lips

I turn around and look at Noel looking for some confirmation of what Em’s just told me

‘’ It’s fine Alison. Emily and I are just about to have a friendly lunch together’’

‘’ Lunch? But today is our day?’’ I pout at him

‘’ Sorry princess but I’m stealing him from you… I want to get to know Nono here a little better’’ I turn back to her and she’s smirking i think… I dunno but she’s got a weird look on her face

‘’ First thing to know in that case: I’m the only one allowed to call him that’’ I put my hands on my hips

‘’ Fine. Anyways Noel, join me for lunch?’’ she gestures to the table next to them and he nods and they both sit

‘’ Well then… I’m gonna go eat with the girls give me a shout if you need!’’ I lean down, rest a hand on her shoulder and give her a quick kiss

‘’ I’m sure I’ll be fine’’ she answers

‘’ Actually I was talking to Noel, don’t want you giving him a tough time!’’ I laugh and sway my butt as I walk away from them knowing very well she’s staring

‘’ Ali, there’s a perv over there who can’t stop staring at you’’ Hanna giggles as I reach the table and sit

I whip my head and sure enough there’s Emily half drooling her mouth hanging open 

‘’ Staring is rude, Killer!’’ I yell over 

‘’ I’m your girlfriend, if anything it’s mandatory!’’ She shouts back

Aw! She’s so cute! 

‘’ You guys are adorable!’’ Aria gushes

——————————————————————————————————

Emily’s POV

I turn and face Noel.

‘’ So, Noel…’’ I start ‘’ If this is gonna work I need to know all of the past between you and Ali’’

‘’ Ummm… I’m not sure about that Emily…’’ He scratches the back of his head

‘’ And why not?’’ I demand

‘’ Because first of all, I’m sure you already know everything. Secondly, it’s not up to me. And lastly, it’s kinda awkward to talk about this’’

‘’ I don’t care Noel. At this point, I just need to know’’ I sigh

‘’ Fine’’ He looks down and rubs his temples before staring back at me ‘’ You want from when she went missing or the very beginning?’’ he asks

‘’ All of it, from the beginning’’ I answer

‘’ Ok… Just remember you asked for this and Al loves you and only you?’’ I nod and he continues ‘’ So Alison and I started seeing each other Freshman Year. We were the hottest ones at the school so it made sense. Then we decided for one dumb reason we’d look so much cooler if it were only hookups. So yes we lost our virginities to each other.’’ I cringe and he notices so quickly moves on ‘’ Even when I had girlfriends or her boyfriends we would still hook up. We were each others booties call. Then she went missing. After she’d be gone a month, she called me. We starting being friends with benefits again, she made me promise to not say anything and watch out for you 4’’ he points at me and the girls’ table 

‘’ How long?’’ I tense up

‘’ How long what?’’

‘’ How long did you guys hook up for when she was missing?’’ I breathe out scared

‘’ The moment she realised she loved you, we stopped. I understood. I, too, was starting to fall for someone’’ he looks down at his food

‘’ That’s not what I asked Noel’’

‘’ A year’’ he hesitates  
‘’ That’s ok I guess’’ I huff sorta relieved

‘’ I swear Emily, it’s the truth.’’ He looks past me and I follow his gaze and Alison is listening to Aria talking when she turns her head our way and smiles at me and offers us a small wave. I smile lovingly at her and face Noel again as he speaks up ‘’She is so in love with you. It’s crazy. I’ve never seen her look at anyone like that before. You make her so happy, Emily. You have no idea. The second she admitted to herself that she had had feelings for you for a while, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. That’s when she decided to change. She did all this for you. She wanted to make you proud. She wanted to be worthy of you and your love. The first thing she would ask me was ‘How is Emily? Is she alright? Do you think she still cares about me?Is her girlfriend treating her the way she deserves?Is she happy?’ ‘’  
Before he has the time to finish I get up from my seat and walk towards my girlfriend.

She looks up at me ‘’ Em? Are you ok?’’ she worries  
I lean down and kiss with as much love and passion as I can muster. She immediately kisses me back and I pull her up grabbing her waist as she wraps her arms around my neck. Her elbows are resting on my shoulders as her hands lose themselves in my hair. Our tongues dance together in a cocktail of love, passion, lust, fire and longing. 

I pull away and rest my forehead against hers, catching my breath  
‘’ Wow’’ She breathes against my lips 

‘’ Wow? Thats an understatement! That was quite a kiss, Fields! Even I felt that!’’ Hanna chimes in

‘’ Hanna! You’re ruining their moment!’’ Aria whispers

I just keep losing myself in Ali’s eyes, those beautiful ocean blue. I could drown myself in them. 

‘’ What was that amazing kiss for?’’ she asks shyly

‘’ Because you are the most wonderful woman to ever have walked this earth and I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. You are perfect’’ I grin and kiss her again slowly

When we pull away we’re both smiling like absolute fools. 

‘’ Um… guys, not to interrupt this super sweet moment or anything but everyone is staring at you guys’’ Spencer says

We look around and indeed everyone is focused on us. I look down embarrassed and suddenly very aware of what I just did in front of everyone

‘’ Well I’m gonna finish with lunch Noel’’ I give her a loving kiss on the cheek and keep my head down as I head back to sit next to Noel


	33. Surprise!

Alison’s POV

I sit back down as I watch Emily sit back down next to Noel. They start talking again and I just watch them in complete awe. Minutes ago, I thought they hated each other and now they look like they are really close friends.

When we kissed though with Emily. Just in that one kiss, I felt every single emotion. It’s like she was pouring her heart out in it’s entirety to me. With that one kiss, I knew exactly how much I mean to her and how much she means to me. 

‘’ Ali? ALI?’’ Hanna snaps me back to reality. Literally she’s snapping her fingers in front of me

‘’ Sorry… what were you saying?’’ I apologise

‘’ We were asking what that was about?’’ Spencer enquires

‘’ To be honest, I have no clue. Probably something Noel said.’’ I answer glancing in their direction

‘’ He’s so nice, I don’t understand why he doesn’t have a girlfriend…’’ Aria ponders, oh the irony dear ‘’Anyways, what happened last night on your date?’’ she asks excitingly

‘’ Told her the truth, she apologised, I apologised. You know the usual we do’’ I chuckle. I mean it’s true, we are constantly apologising to one another ‘’ Then we kissed, made up, laughed and had a great time’’ I smile at the memory 

‘’ Did you…’’ Spencer raises her eyebrow

‘’ Did we what?’’ 

‘’ Have sex! Stop being a prude Spence and just say it!’’ Hanna exasperates

‘’ I’m not prude just sensitive about my use of words’’ Spencer retorts ‘’ But yeah basically what Hanna said’’

‘’ Yes’’ I blush

‘’ Aw! You’re blushing that’s so cute!’’ Aria chirps 

‘’ So how was it?’’

‘’ Honestly Hanna? Amazing! It was all about her last night and it just felt so right! And it was just so passionate and full of love!’’ I blush ‘’We cuddled after and I gave her her gift and I woke up in her arms! It was all so incredible! It’s better than what I had pictured!’’ I squeal like a little girl

‘’ What about you, Aria? How’s it going with Jason?’’ Spencer wonders

‘’ Umm…’’ she hesitates looking at me

‘’ It’s fine Ar, don’t worry you can talk even if he is my brother’’ I reassure her

‘’ Well in that case it’s going really well! I mean he’s being a real gentleman so far and we’re still in that honeymoon stage of our relationship which is nice’’ she smiles

I feel guilty… I mean Noel likes her and here I am happy that my brother is making her happy. And I feel guilty that I feel guilty. Being a good person really has its downs.

‘’ Have you-?’’ Hanna starts

‘’ God no! Hanna we started dating 4 days ago! He has yet to take me on a real date and all!’’ Aria quickly interrupts

Suddenly I felt someone’s hands over my eyes. 

‘’ Guess who?’’ a familiar voice whispered to me

‘’ Cece!!!’’ she takes her hands away and I get up and give her a huge hug!

‘’ I’m so happy to see you! I thought you’d be in Paris by now?’’ I’m surprised she’s here. She was meant to leave the country

‘’ I was there but I couldn't leave you on your own! Plus they dropped the case so they won’t touch me!’’ She says giddily

I don’t get why they thought she had something to do with Wilden’s death. I mean big deal they met once? like bullshit

She releases me from the hug and looks at the girls

‘’ Shorty. Blondie. Smarty’’ she acknowledges them ‘’ One’s missing. Where’s Americano?’’ she asks me

‘’ She’s over there’’ I point at Em and Noel 

‘’ Ali I didn’t know you’d managed to get a threesome going on!’’ Cece laughs

‘’ WHAT?!’’ I choke

‘’ Boytoy and Americano are talking I’m guessing they have you as a common interest’’ she smiles

‘’ Cece shut up.’’ She’s going to make the girls curious and they’re gonna ask questions that don’t need to be asked because there’s nothing happening.   
‘’ Emily and I have been dating happily since November 30th (A/N let’s pretend yeah?) and Noel and I haven't done that in ages!’’ I exasperate

She smirks at me ‘’ I know, lil’ sis, I’m just messing with you’’ 

‘’ Wait you and Noel use to hook up?’’ Aria speaks up

Shit. I don’t want her to know about this! This isn’t gonna help him at all.

‘’ Well you know about before I left but yeah more than a year ago, when I hadn’t accepted who I was’’ I glare at Cece and give her a thanks a lot look, she just smiles back

‘’ Anyways, Cece what brings you back?’’ I change the subject

‘’ Family reasons’’ she answers looking at the ground

‘’ You never talk about them, I’d started to think you didn’t have any’’ I joke

‘’ Something like that. But I’m working on it’’ She answers smiling sheepishly at the end

I feel bad now. She never talks about her family, I just assumed they weren’t close. But it clearly seems to upset her.

‘’ Well you know you can always count on me’’ 

‘’ Thanks Ali’’

Suddenly, the first lunch bell goes off and I see Emily and Noel walk towards us.

‘’ Americano! Boytoy!’’ Cece exclaims 

‘’ Hey Cece’’ they both answer

Emily comes up to me and wraps her arms around me, her chest to my back. She gives me a small kiss on the cheek and I look up at her

‘’ You alright sweetie?’’ I ask out of curiosity

‘’ Never better babe!’’ she grins widely and kisses me again

‘’ What’d you and Noel talk about?’’ I wonder

‘’ You, us, him, everything and nothing. He’s a nice guy. I might just hang out with him more’’ 

‘’ That’s good, I’m happy you guys are getting along’’

I look at Noel and give him a smile ‘’ Thank you’’ I mouth. He nods in answer

‘’ We should go to class guys’’ Spencer reminds us

Right, I’m still in school.

‘’ Cece’’ I turn to her ‘’ meet you at The Brew after school? just the two of us?’’

I hear a groan behind me and face Emily raising an eyebrow

‘’ Sorry, I just really wanted to spend time with you tonight’’ she mumbles

‘’ Sorry, you know how much I love you but Cece’s here and we have a lot to catch up on…’’ I explain

‘’ Fine’’ she groans

‘’ Yeah sure Ali. I need to run errands now anyways. See you in a bit’’ she walks away looking like a top model, earning stares from a few people, including Emily.

I hit her sightly on the arm as the last bell goes off

‘’ What?’’ she pretends nothing happened and I see Noel holding his laughter in

I walk away swaying my hips from side to side. Spencer, Hanna and Aria follow me  
‘’ Babe! Don’t be like that!’’ she calls after me ‘’ I wasn't even looking at her!’’ She continues as her and Noel start to walk behind us.

By now, I could hear Noel laughing at her and telling her  
‘’ Forget it Em. I don't blame you for staring. I mean have you seen that arse?’’ 

I face them and they both stop laughing and get scared expressions

‘’ No way near as hot as you are though Princess!’’ Emily walks closer to me, leans in and whispers ‘’ You are the sexiest woman ever’’ She kisses me and slightly bites my lip 

‘’ Emily Catherine Fields… I let you off too easy’’ I giggle

‘’ That’s cause you loooooove me’’ she emphasises on ‘love’ ‘’I love you too’’ she smirks and walks past me into the room and finds her seat and I look at Noel who’s just standing there

‘’ She’s right I love her so much’’ I admit and walk into the classroom


	34. Holidays!

*Friday afternoon*

Emily’s POV

I’m so excited in 2 mins it’s the holidays and not just any holidays but the Christmas Holidays!!! AGH! I love Christmas so much! Giving presents, showing people how much I love them, mistletoe, Ali under the mistletoe, family, food, happiness! It’s all so lifting!

I try to concentrate on what the teacher is saying but my mind keeps wandering off, my leg is bouncing up and down, I’m so giddy! I can’t help it!

Finally the bells goes off and I run out of class to meet Ali outside of her class that she shares with Aria. 

When I get there she is walking out, laughing with Aria. I clown down as I approach them

‘’ Hey Princess!’’ I smile happily

‘’ Hey gorgeous! What’s gotten you so excited?’’ she asks as I grab a hold of her hand and the three of us start making our way out the school

‘’ Yeah Em… Why you jumping like a 5 year old on Christ-?’’ she stops herself short suddenly realising

‘’ IT’S CHRISTMAS IN A WEEK!!!!!!’’ I yell in the hallway jumping up and down

‘’ Ah… That’s why…’’ Ali laughs ‘’ I’d forgotten about your addiction to Christmas, do they have rehabs for Christmasholics?’’

‘’ Hey!’’ I playfully tap her arm

‘’ I’m sorry sweetheart I find it adorable’’

‘’ Ok you guys are too cute, I need to get back to my boyfriend asap!’’ Aria chuckles as we reach Hanna and Spencer in front of Ali’s car  
‘’ Hey girls!’’ Hanna greets us

‘’ Hey’’ we answer back

‘’ I’m exhausted, I’m so glad we’re on break now’’ Spencer sighs in relief

‘’ But Spencer no school for a whole two weeks how will you cope???’’ Aria mocks her

‘’ Haha very funny shortie’’ she sticks her tongue out at the other brunette

‘’ Ali!’’ someone yells. We turn around and see Cece walking our way

‘’ Hey Ce!’’ Alison smiles

‘’ So what you girls talking about?’’ she asks as she joins us

‘’ Well I was actually just about to tell them something very important.’’ Ali announces

‘’ You’re not pregnant are you?’’ Hanna raises an eyebrow

‘’ Hanna! I’m with Emily! How would that happen?’’ she scolds her and I cringe a little as a thought of how that could happen enters my mind ‘’Actually don’t answer that!’’ Ali dismisses her

‘’ What did you want to say babe?’’ I wrap an arm around her waist protectively. For some reason, it soothes me, convinces me we’re fine and we always will be. She snuggles in to me a little placing one of her hands over mine on her hip.

‘’ What I wanted to say is’’ she pauses and glances at us ‘’ No one can come around this Christmas or on Christmas Eve’’

A series of ‘aws’ are heard but I stay quiet. 

It was meant to be our first Christmas together… 

‘’ Em?’’ she snaps me out of my daze and I see her looking at me. She’s wearing heels so our eyes are at the same level. 

‘’ Huh?’’

‘’ You haven’t said anything’’ The intensity of the stare is too much for me to handle and I look down at our hands intertwined on her hip

She leans her forehead against the side of my head as she slightly turns her body to me.

‘’ I just really wanted to spend at least one of the two with you…’’ I whisper closing my eyes

I feel a small kiss on my cheek

‘’ I’m sorry love’’ she turns back to the others and addresses all of us ‘’ My parents are trying this whole new thing called being a real family’’ she chuckles lightly

I still wished though that I would get to see her though at some point… 

‘’ And in spirit of that’’ she continues ‘’ they really want only the four of us at dinner that night. I’m sorry… I’ll see you on Boxing Day though! We’ll make it like a Christmas Day Part 2!’’ she tries to make up for it

She turns to face me and wraps her arms around my waist

‘’ I’m so sorry, Killer’’ she whispers ‘’ I really wanted to be with you too. Don’t worry though I’ll make it up to you’’ she kisses me softly as I cup her perfectly heart-shaped face in my hands

‘’ Ok, I need to go and see Jason now! You guys are making me realise how much I miss him!’’ Aria whines

‘’ You and Jason?’’ Cece wonders

‘’ Oh um… Yeah… We’ve been together for a week tomorrow’’ Aria hesitates

‘’ You go Aria!’’ Cece whoops

Alison’s POV

‘’ Anyways I’ve got to go, girls. Ce, you coming with?’’ I ask

‘’ Why, her and not me?’’ Em whines  
‘’ Cause Emmy, I get to see your beautiful face all day and Cece and I still have a lot to talk about!’’ I answer

‘’ Like what?’’ she retorts

‘’ Well I need tips from someone about how to treat my girl right, how to take care of her in the bedroom and how-‘’

‘’ Ok! Go with Cece’’ she interrupts me her cheeks flushed

‘’ You saying I need help in the bedroom?’’ I fake pout

‘’ What???’’ she’s alarmed now and our friends are looking at her trying to hold their laughter in. I’m guessing they know I’m just messing with her ‘’ Not at all, babe!’’

‘’ Say it’’ I demand

She huffs looking at me to see if I’m serious. I do my best to maintain a cold attitude and pissed off expression

‘’ Fine’’ she grumbles. She pulls me into her again and kisses my jawbone down to my lips and back, IN FRONT OF ALL THE GIRLS! I couldn't help but let out a small moan she murmurs sexily ‘’ Trust me you are incredible in bed’’

‘’ Go EMMY!!!’’ Hanna cheers and hollers

We both pull back and she has a smug look on her face

‘’ Wipe that off your face, now, Emily! Or you won’t know how incredible I am for a while’’ I tell her as I walk to the drivers side and Cece hops in the passenger seat

Just as I put the key in the ignition, there’s a tap on my window. I roll it down

‘’ You weren’t actually gonna leave without giving me a proper goodbye?’’ she questions me

‘’ I could never’’ I smile as she leans through the windows and kisses me passionately 

She pulls back and touches our noses.   
‘’ I love you’’ she breathes against my lips

‘’ I love you too’’

‘’ Bye babe’’ she pecks my lips again

‘’ I’ll see you on Christmas Eve Eve! I promise!’’ I tell her as I roll the window back up

‘’ You are so whipped!’’ Cede laughs as we drive out of the school car park.

‘’ Yeah well…’’ I go silent unable to think of anything

‘’ Woah… Ali-Di without a witty or bitchy comeback??? Shiiiit! Never thought I’d live to she day!’’ Cece laughs

‘’ Haha! Very funny!’’ I stick my tongue out to her and quickly look back at the road

‘’ So… Cece you spending Christmas with your family?’’

I see her tense up by my side and I worry. Cece never talks much about her family and I begin to wonder if she has any at all

‘’ Uhm… no… my family and I aren’t very close. I haven’t really reached out to them yet’’ 

‘’ Oh, I’m sorry’’ I hesitate before asking ‘’ Why don’t ask my parent if you can join?’’

‘’ I’m not sure if that’s such a great idea Alison’’ she worries ‘’ I mean you told the girls it was going to be a family Christmas, plus I dated Jason and that’s gonna be weird…’’ she trails off

‘’ Well I consider you to be my big sis’ ! So you’re family!’’ I tell her

‘’ You do?’’ she enquires a smile creeping on her face

‘’ Of course Cece!’’ I answer her honestly

 

Cece’s POV

It really warms my heart to hear her say those words. If only she knew the truth

‘’ Okay then I’m in! But check with your parents first kiddo!’’ 

‘’ I’ll do that right now!’’ she smiles as we pull in front of her house and a car is already in the driveway

‘’ Ok I’ll wait for you here’’ I answer as I we step out the car

Mrs Di opens the door for her with a smile. Ali is talking and then she points at me. Mrs Di looks at me and her face twitches slightly as she sees me. I give her a small wave, can we just get past this please?

She nods her head and I see Ali hug her, before they both come my way

‘’ Cece, Ali explained to me the situation. I would love for you to join us on Christmas Eve as well as Christmas, you may even stay at our house.’’ she says kindly

‘’ Really?’’ I didn’t expect this at all, I’m so happy!

‘’ Really’’ she smiles and gives me a small hug as she whispers to me so that Ali can’t hear ‘’ You’re family, don’t ever forget that’’

As she pulls away, I can’t help the small tears forming in my eyes 

‘’ Thank you so much!’’ I can’t stop smiling, she’s invited me to dinner with her normal family! ‘’ I need to get going, I have errands to run! Thank you so much! I will see you on the 24th!’’ 

I give Alison a big hug and thank her for this and just give a small nod to Mrs Di, she knows what I mean with it. I walk away just as I hear Jason walk out the door

‘’ Is that Cece?’’ he wonders

‘’ Yeah, she’s joining for Christmas. Where you going?’’ I hear Ali ask him

‘’ Taking Aria on our first real date’’ is all I hear him answer as I reach my own car parked across the street and get in

It looks like this going to be a good Christmas… I hope I don’t ruin it with what I’m about to do


	35. Christmas Eve

Cece’s POV

I knock on the door more than ready to face the music.   
Jason opens it ‘’ Hey Cece, it’s good to see you again!’’ he gives me a small awkward hug, I’m pretty sure it’s more awkward for me though…

‘’ You too Jason!’’ I reply as I pull away and walk in to the house

‘’ Cece! You’re here!’’ Ali comes rushing down the stairs and gives me a huge hug. She then takes me by the hand and brings me into kitchen were Mr and Mrs Di are finishing up dinner

‘’ Hello dear’’ Mrs Di greets me ‘’ Hello’’ Mr Di adds

‘’ Hello! I hope you don’t mind but to thank you all for having me I bought you all gifts’’ I say

‘’ Cece! You didn’t have to!’’ Mrs Di tells me 

‘’ I just couldn't help myself, it's the least I could do!’’ I answer

‘’ Well thank you! Go and set them down with the others, Ali show her the Christmas tree’’ Mr Di grins at me and Ali drags me to the living room

I think I can do this. They’re not as bad as before and I think this is actually gonna play out very well! I’m excitingly scared! I’m glad to be with my own, I feel at home, like this is where I belong and not in that other place where I used to be… I hated it there, I felt like a prisoner with the dull walls, the uncomfortable beds, the curfews and lights out rules… ugh!  
But this feels so warm, welcoming and safe!   
Now I just need to say it… Hopefully, I’ll find the right moment.

Once dinner is ready, we sit, eat and share a few good laughs. It all goes great, we remember the time I went with them to Cape May back when I was dating Jason (although we don’t bring that up) and of course Ali and I share glances as certain memories from that summer come back to us (gosh it was a close one!) 

‘’ That was delicious!’’ I lick my lips as I finish the last of my Christmas pudding

‘’ Yeah Mum! That was really nice!’’ Jason licks his plate like a dog

‘’ Jason!’’ Mr Di protests ‘’ We have company!’’

Ali and I laugh and I manage to let out in between laughs ‘’ It’s fine really!’’

Jason smiles proudly like a kid as he sets his plate down and it’s basically squeaky clean.

‘’ So, Cece how come you aren’t spending Christmas with your own family?’’ I see Alison throw him a look and Mrs Di throws me a sideways worrying glance. I have to do this. I deserve a family too. They deserve to know. This is my home too.

This is the perfect moment.

 

Alison’s POV

I see Mum tense up slightly beside me as Cece and her exchange a wordless conversation with their eyes.

‘’ I am spending it with them actually’’ she answers softly

‘’ Cece! That’s great! You worked it out with them?’’ I exclaim

‘’ Not exactly. You are my family.’’ 

‘’ Cece!’’ Mum raises her voice

‘’ That’s so sweet, Ce! You know you’re like a big sis’ to me!’’  
‘’ Alison, I am your big sister’’ she answers calmly

‘’ Charlotte!’’ Mum warns

‘’ Charlotte? is that what Cece stands for?’’ Jason says confused and to be honest I am too… What the fuck is going on and why does my mum know it?

‘’ Please’’ Cece begs to my mum ‘’ They have the right to know’’

‘’ We have the right to know what?’’ Dad asks

‘’ Don’t you dare ruin this, young lady!’’ my mum yells at her

‘’ I’m telling them whether you like it or not’’ Cece answers back

‘’ Telling us what?!?!?!’’ I exasperate

‘’ My birth names is Charles’’ she stops as we hear my dad choke on his water ‘’ Charles DiLaurentis’’

‘’ What the fuck sort of sick joke is this?’’ Jason recoils

‘’ Charles is dead’’ Dad mumbles

‘’ Who the fuck is Charles???’’ I ask 

‘’ I told you not to say anything Charlotte!!!’’ Mum shouts

‘’ Charles was my older brother when I was a kid. Mum and Dad kept telling me I had imagined him and when he left that it was my imagination telling me to grow up.’’ Jason looks at me, his face dropping

‘’ I’m real though’’ I hear Cece whisper…

I look at her and suddenly I don’t recognise her at all ‘’ Who are you?’’

‘’ Get out of my house!’’ Dad barks

Cece jumps up from her chair at the other end of the table ‘’ No! Just let me explain! You deserve an explanation and so do Alison and Jason!’’ 

I could feel the tears building up and she looks down at me  
‘’ My name was Charles, I was your older brother. Now, my name is Charlotte. But Mum didn’t want me near you and Dad thought I overdosed when I was 16. So I said my name was Cece to get closer to you and your brother, our brother, because I wanted to spend time with my family’’

‘’ That’s not what happened’’ Dad shouts at her ‘’ You almost killed her’’

I open my eyes wide in horror as I stare at Cece/Charles/Charlotte or whoever the fuck this is

‘’ That’s not what happened! I didn’t do it on purpose! And she’s still alive isn’t she? If I had really wanted to kill her don’t you think I would have done it! Instead of almost doing it!’’

I couldn’t take it anymore I had to leave. I got up and ran out of my house as fast I can. I could her them calling me.

Jason quickly caught up with me and he held me back as I was already halfway to my destination

‘’ Ali! Wait!’’ I turn to face him and just collapse in his arms ‘’ Hey it’s okay… I’ve got you. We’ll go through this together, ok?’’ I just nod as I bury my head into his chest further and wrap my arms around his back tighter ‘’ Come on, I’ll take you to Emily’s okay?’’ He looks down at me and sweetly kisses the top of my head ‘’ I’ll give you piggy back there if you wants?’’ he attempts a light chuckle and I try my best to give him at least the beginning of a smile and I can taste the tears on my lips

I hop on his back and he walks toward Emily’s house.

 

* 5 minutes later*

Emily’s POV

I’m sitting down with my parents having a nice Christmas dinner when someone knocks at the door

‘’ I’ll get it’’ I tell my parents as I get up from the table to go answer the door

‘’ Jason?’’ I see a blonde head on his shoulder and legs wrapped around his front ‘’ Ali?’’

‘’ Hey Em’’ Jason looks at me as Ali keeps a tight grip around his neck and her head buried in his shoulder

‘’ Jay, what’s happening?’’ I panic

‘’ I’ll explain if you let us in’’ I nod and move out the way

He sets her down on the couch but she doesn't let him go.

‘’ Who is it, Emily?’’ Dad asks from the dining room

‘’ Jason and Alison, don’t wait for me. I need to talk to them’’ I answer him from the living room

I stay standing in front of the fireplace directly opposite Jason, who still has Alison snuggled into his side

‘’ So?’’ I grow impatient

He takes a deep breath, unsure of how to phrase his response ’’ Um… Well, Ali and I just found out we have a brother, who’s now a sister I guess. Turns out I even dated her.’’ Ali tenses up at his side

‘’ ‘Scuse me what?’’ 

‘’ Yeah, so turns out Cece Drake is actually our sister, birth name Charles Dilaurentis and new official name Charlotte DiLaurentis’’ He looks at Ali who’s eyes started tearing up again

‘’ Wow…’’

‘’ Yeah’’

I didn’t know what to say… I mean, Cece dated Jason, she was Alison’s best friend. I mean I get now why she was so protective of Ali, but shit that’s fucked up

‘’ Why is she upset?’’ I stare at my girlfriend who finally seems to realise where she is and my presence and she looks at me with a blank expression

‘’ Turns out, Dad sent Charles away because he’d tried to kill Ali when she was a baby. Mum told Dad that Charles had died from an overdose, but really he had become a she and Mum knew about it. There’s probably more to it, but we ran out before Cece, Charlotte, Charles -I don’t funking know!- could continue’’

I gulp loudly and go to sit next to Alison, her eyes locked on me. I grab her shoulders and pull her in to me, she slowly starts to let go of Jason and quickly finds safety in my chest

‘’ I’m sorry babe…’’ I whisper in her hair, she clutches on to me harder and I wrap both my arms around her protectively as I kiss the top of hear head repeatedly and she curls up on me

‘’ Well, I’m gonna go then’’ Jason starts to get up

‘’ Jay… Stay. I’ll call the girls over, I think Ali needs us all right now. You, especially.’’ He sits back down and I make Ali face me

Her eyes, usually a lively electric blue, are lost, drowned in their own blue ocean. It hurts me to see her like this. I know she feels betrayed. By Cece. By her Mum. By her Dad. And they were finally getting along and being a normal family. 

‘’ Princess’’ I hold her chin up ‘’ I’ll call the girls and we’ll have a huge sleepover, okay?’’ she nods as tears continue to silently stream down her face

‘’ Mum, Dad!’’ They come in and see Ali and throw me a questioning look. I know the brother and sister don’t particularly want to share the story again so I simply say ‘’ Jason and Ali need a place to crash tonight and I was thinking of inviting the girls too to stay here’’ I plead. They understand the silent message and agree

‘’ Just as long as Jason and Aria, and you and Alison are never in a bedroom alone, we’re fine with it!’’ Dad adds and they walk back out the dining room

Jason and I let out a light laugh.

I fish my phone out my pocket and open the group chat

 

EF: Hey girls! Ali and Jay are staying at my house tonight, wanna come over

SH: UM YES! I’m having a shitty Christmas Eve!

AM: Me too!

HM: me 3!

EF: damn! am I the only one for who it was going well??? 

AM: looks like it

HM: probs

SH: What’s wrong with the DiLaurentis’? ps: it’s *for whom, Em

EF: let’s just say a surprising turn of events… and who cares S, not important. anyways see you guys in a few minutes?

AM: hanna pick me up, we’re almost like neighbours, please?

HM: sure, b there in 2, just packing some stuff

SH: I’m on my way be there in 5-10 :)

EF: cool :D

I set my phone down and Ali’s breathing has somewhat steadied. She’s been through so much pain, it’s unfair. No one should have to suffer as much as she did, especially not alone. I keep a tight hold of her and stroke her hair delicately to keep soothing her. 

Jason stares at me 

‘’ They’ll be here in a few. Seems like they were all having a crappy night’’ I smile at him and he just nods a little

A few minutes later, my phone buzzes

HM: We’re at your door open up

I untangle myself from Alison, who begrudgingly let’s go of me with a whine and turns herself back to her brother for comfort and warmth

I open the door ‘’ Seriously Hanna, you couldn't just knock’’ I tell her as the blonde pushes past me

‘’ Hey Em’’ Spencer and Aria say in unison

‘’ Nope’’ she says popping her p, she walks into the living room and sees Ali on the couch

‘’ Sheesh and I thought I had it bad’’

‘’ What went wrong with you guys’ night?’’ I wonder curious

‘’ Christmas with only one parent is just weird and it didn’t feel like Christmas’’ Aria answers first

‘’ I’m sorry, baby’’ Jason tries to move to her but Alison has him immobilised 

‘’ Fair enough. What about you, Spence?’’

‘’ Melissa is back in town. But no she’s not alone. She’s with her fiancée Wren. And the best part they’ve moved in to the barn again! Ugh!’’ she puffs

‘’ Oooo… Not nice… What about you, Blondie?’’ Hanna’s not usually one to not say what’s on her mind, so this has to be bad

‘’ My dad forgot about me’’ Oh shit, this is bad ‘’ He was meant to pick me and we were supposed to go have dinner. But instead that dickhead went out with his fake family and he forgot about me until I called him to ask where he was!’’ she had started off sad but now she was just plain angry

‘’ Wow… that sucks balls’’ a small voice speaks up

‘’ Hey babe’’ I gently say as I go to her and help her stand from the couch

‘’ Hey… sorry… I just couldn’t-‘’ she started

‘’ No, hey it’s fine!’’ I interrupted her

I grab her hands and pull her into me. Her eyes have still not gotten their sparkle back and I start to worry

‘’ So, we’re all having a shit Christmas huh?’’

‘’ Pretty much’’ Alison answers

‘’ I’m guessing no one wants to go to too much extent about it so how about we call it a night? I’m physically and emotionally drained from all this drama…’’ Jason yawns

‘’ Sounds like a good idea’’ I approve ‘’ Right so sleeping arrangements, Jason you’ll get the guest room and girls, as usual, we’ll stay in my room’’

‘’ But I want to be with my boyfriend’’

‘’ I want to be with you too babe, but Em’s parents had one condition and that’s that we don’t share a room alone and I doubt anyone wants to spend the night with us’’ Jason answers

‘’ Fine’’ she pouts and he kisses her, I look at my girl and do the same

‘’ Okay, okay… you guys need to stop… Spanna cannot compete in this event’’ Hanna groans shoving past us and separating the two couples

‘’ Seriously Han?’’ Alison lets out a light a giggle and it’s a nice sound to hear… it’s so melodic and at this moment, it’s a glimmer of happiness much needed

——————————————————————————————————

*a few hours later in the middle of the night*

I keep tossing and turning. Ali is still so clearly upset. She fell asleep crying in my chest. And I ended up crying because she was crying. It hurt me to see her in pain because something that was out of my reach, out of my control. When I’d kissed her to try and calm her down, her lips were salty from al the tears that had fallen on them that evening, her lips even shook as if she was unsure or scared. When we kissed she’d never been hesitant and I could tell that her trust in not just her family but everyone had been affected, it hurt me to know that she even seemed to have lost her trust in me. I need to do something to cheer her up and I know exactly what.

I untangle myself from Ali delicately and tiptoe over the girls, trying discreetly to make my way out of the bedroom. I go knock on Jason’s door and wait for him to open  
‘’ The fuck??? Em what do you want?’’ he whispers groggily rubbing the sleep out of his eyes

‘’ Listen’’ I walk into his room and he closes the door behind me ‘’all the girls have clearly had a shitty night and I know exactly how to mend it.’’

‘’ Ok, cool. good for you. Why’d you wake me up though?’’ He complains

‘’ Because I need you.’’ I plead him

‘’Ok, I’ll help you.’’ For a moment we just stand there before he puts his hands up and questions me ‘’Well then what’s the plan?’’

‘’ Right! I’ll tell you but first I need to make a couple phone calls’’ I give him a smile and start to dial


	36. Christmas Day

Alison’s POV

I woke up to an empty bed. I love to cuddle with Emily in the morning. And this morning I wanted to more than usual. I need her presence beside me. She was just so warm and safe. She was my haven. I sat up to see that I actually woke up to an empty room. I look at the bedside clock and see that it’s 11 already. I say already cause we only went to sleep around 10:30ish so that was a lot of sleeping. Even for me.

I make my way downstairs and hear giggles.

‘’ Hey girls’’ I greet them

‘’ Hey Ali!’’ Spencer, Aria and Hanna say in unison

‘’ Waiiit where’s Emily?’’ I raise my eyebrow as I walk in to the living room

The girls suddenly seem to notice her disappearance and look around worriedly. Now I’m panicking! She knows I need her right now why’d she leave me alone? I am so yelling at her when I find her! How can she leave me at a time like-?

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud, multi-voiced cheer ‘’ Merry Christmas!’’

I spin around to see Emily, Jason, Toby and even Caleb in sexy Santa costumes. My jaw drops

‘’ Oh my god!’’ Hanna squeals

‘’ Now that is a gesture’’ Aria giggles

‘’ Em thought that with all of you having a bad Christmas we could make it up to you. So here we are’’ Jason gestures

I look at my incredibly sexy girlfriend who’s blushing like crazy at just being denounced by my brother. I walk up to her and just kiss her.

‘’ You did this?’’ I ask her as I pull away and look into her eyes. She just gives me a small nod and kisses me back

‘’ Caleb… I thought you were in Ravenswood until after New Years’’ I hear Hanna say

I turn my head in Caleb’s direction and see him walk towards her, all eyes are on him. He hasn’t been here for ages… He never came back because apparently it was too difficult for him to leave again. This is the first time, I’ve met him and Hanna’s got good taste! He really is quite hot!

‘’ I was but Em called’’ they both look at Emily who’s just grinning from ear to ear. I swear this girl lives to make others happy ‘’ And I just couldn’t stay away anymore, I know you needed me and I need you too, Hanna.’’ They were now face to face ‘’I miss you like crazy.’’ He wraps his arms around her waist and presses their foreheads together. Hanna’s eyes are closed, it’s like she can’t take it ‘’I love you.’’ They both lean in and kiss and the electricity passing through them was so strong that we all started making out with our other halves

As I kiss Em, I feel fireworks exploding everywhere around me and in me. I pull her in as close as I can with my arms around her neck, and her hands on my waist. We move in sync, our lips crashing together, our tongues dancing in a wave of passion and love.   
‘’ Hum hum’’ we all suddenly pull away to see Mr and Mrs Fields standing there looking at us

‘’ Oh… Um.. Morning Mum, Dad’’ Emily blushes ‘’ They weren't having a good Christmas so we were making it up to them’’

Her parents look at how Em is dressed, then Toby, Jason and Caleb. I shit you not, Mrs Fields’ eyes lingered on the guy’s bodies! I mean I get it (apart from Jay) their bodies are fucking smoking! But the sexiest one is definitely the one standing beside me.

‘’ Right so we’re gonna go change now then, I guess’’ Em stares at the guys and nods them. They all start to climb up the stairs, the Fields staring at them as they do so, still wide-eyed.

We hear a door shut and suddenly an eruption of laughter. The girls and I stare at each other and start to laugh too.

——————————————————————————————————

We were watching a film now, well it was ending really. The Fields were happy to have us all over for lunch, which was very kind of them. Jason and Aria are sharing a love seat. Caleb is sitting on the floor with Hanna in between his legs. Spencer is curled up by Toby’s side on the couch and he has his arm wrapped around her shoulders. I’m on Emily’s lap and she’s holding me tight as if she were scared I would move from this position. But I feel way too comfortable and at home right here to even think about that.

‘’ Ali, come upstairs with me’’ Em whispers in my ear as the credits start rolling

‘’ Em… Not now, I’m not in the mood and everyone is here. It’s weird’’ 

She chuckles lightly and pecks my cheek ‘’ That’s not what I meant. Your gift is upstairs and I don’t want you to open it in front of everyone’’

‘’ Oh right sure’’ I nod

We make our way upstairs as the others start to debate what film to watch next

Emily closes her bedroom door behind us and tells me to sit on her bed as she goes into her closet. When she comes out of it, she holds two packages in her hands.

‘’ Merry Christmas, Princess!’’

‘’ Em… You didn’t have to’’ I protest as she hands them to me

‘’ Yes I did. I love you. You went missing for two years and didn’t get to do this. So let me love you’’ she replies and stays standing in front of me

‘’ Fine’’ I tear the paper off the second present and see a cover made with an old faded picture of the Eiffel Tower on it. I open it and see blank pages

‘’ It’s a diary. I know you used to hold them. We had to read them to figure the whole A thing out. I figured you’d need a new one to keep writing the adventures of the Mermaid and the Princess’’ she smiles 

‘’ Thank you, sweetie. I love it.’’ I squeeze her hand a little

I open the second present and see a book titled Emison, I throw a glance at her curiously

‘’ Open it’’ she tells me

I do as she says and read the first line  
“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.”

I look up to see her smiling lovingly at me and I mirror her.

‘’ Keep going’’ she nods 

‘’ “Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?   
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:   
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,   
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:   
Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,   
And too often is his gold complexion dimm'd:   
And every fair from fair sometimes declines,   
By chance or natures changing course untrimm'd;   
By thy eternal summer shall not fade,   
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;   
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,   
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:   
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,   
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.”   
― William Shakespeare, Shakespeare's Sonnets

I start flicking through the rest of the book and see poems and quotes are written 

‘’ What are they about?’’ I ask her grabbing her hands as I peer into her eyes  
‘’ You. My love for you’’ and she means it

I pull her down so she’s straddling me and I kiss her like there’s no tomorrow. I can’t believe she would do something like this. We keep kissing and soon enough I’m on my back on the bed and she’s leaning over me. She starts kissing down my jawline and sucking on my sweet spot on my neck. I let out a little moan and she rolls off of me. I look at her quizzically

‘’ Friends and family downstairs.’’ she reminds me ‘’ If I’d kept going, I wouldn't have been able to stop’’ she admits

I roll over to my side and raise myself on one elbow. I draw circles on her stomach. ‘’ Thank you so much Emily. For the gifts. For the little show earlier’’ I grin at her and she giggles a little ‘’ Which by the way, I’ll need a rerun of’’ I wink seductively at her ‘’ Thank you for accepting me. For loving me. For everything. I love you to infinity and beyond’’ 

‘’ I love you too Alison’’ she smiles widely at me. All of a sudden her face goes dead serious and she pulls herself up and rests her back on the headrest of her bed.

‘’ What’s wrong, baby?’’ I inquire her as I place myself beside her

She grabs my hands and kisses it before answering ‘’ I think you should go home.’’

I gulp and stare at her incredulously

‘’ I know it’s scary. But you’ll need to face it. It’s Christmas. It’s a time for loving and family. She just wanted to be with her family for Christmas. She was being honest.’’

‘’ She tried to kill me!’’ I yell getting off the bed and going to the opposite side of the room

‘’ She was a child! You don’t how that happened! You just know you almost died because of her!’’ she answers jumping off her bed and approaching me

‘’ Don’t!’’ I hold my hand out

‘’ Please, Alison…’’ She begs

‘’ I can’t Emily! This is going to change everything’’ I sob

The door suddenly flings open

‘’ What did you do Fields?’’ Jason barks in her face

She moves back a little ‘’ I think you guys should speak to Cece but Ali is scared’’ 

Jason relaxes a little comes next to me and holds me ‘’ Hey sis… I’ve got you. She’s right… We can’t ignore her forever, she is family. We’re going to do this together ok? I won’t leave you alone at any moment. I promise.’’ 

‘’ Can Emily and the girls come? I need them too’’ I say quietly

‘’ Of course. I’ll go get them’’ He walks away from me to Em ‘’ I’m sorry I yelled at you’’ he chuckles ‘’ just thought you’d hurt her. Make sure she’s ready we’ll leave in 10’’ he looks at me one last time with a small smile and walks out

‘’ How is he so calm?’’ I quiver

Emily comes to me and grabs me in a warm hug ‘’ Because he’s being an older brother and that’s his job. To protect you and help you no matter what the circumstances’’ she kisses the top of my head ‘’ Come on, get dressed Princess’’ 

I nod and put on the same clothes as yesterday because having left so promptly I didn’t take anything with me. I slept in Em’s pyjamas which I didn’t mind.

As I get dressed I mentally prepare myself for what’s about to happen.  
——————————————————————————————————  
*after Cece’s long arse speech*

Emily’s POV

Wow… I was not expecting that at all.. That shit is pretty tough. I study Ali who is still in shock of what’s just happened and holding my hand in a death grip. But I don’t think now is the time to complain

‘’ I’m sorry you had to go through all that alone’’ Ali finally manages

‘’ Yeah, I wish we could’ve known’’ Jason agrees

‘’ It’s not your fault. Dad was protecting you. Mum was protecting Dad. And it was tough but the fact that we got to know each other by being friends it just made me so happy to know that even without the whole sibling thing we got along like this’’

‘’ Wait did you and Jason ever…?’’ Hanna asks

‘’ no! He is still my brother!’’ Cec— sorry Charlotte answers

‘’ What did Mum and Dad say?’’ Jason wonders

‘’ Mum was mad at me… She was scared you guys would leave for good. Dad is pissed at Mum. But he gets it. He’s not okay with the whole transgender thing as you can imagine. But I’m hoping the same way it’s grown on him that Ali is a lesbian-‘’

‘’ I’m not a lesbian!’’ I protest ‘’ I’m bi or Emisexual as the girls like to say’’

‘’ Fine… whatever. You’re still dating a girl. Anyways I’m hoping he’ll come round.’’

‘’ Charles’’ A voice suddenly says behind us. I see Charlotte peek over my shoulder and I turn around to see Mr Di standing there. His cheeks are hollow and his eyes reds.

‘’ Yes?’’

‘’ I am sorry. We are trying to rebuild our family here. And I don't see how that can be done if my eldest son is not here.’’ I turn to see Charlotte tearing up but with her eyes sparkling ‘’ But I need you to understand it will take me a lot of getting used to. That only time will tell. For the moment I will call you Charles because it is the best I can do’’

‘’ I understand completely Mr DiLaurentis’’ she sobs happily

‘’ Good and it’s Dad’’ he smiles as tears start to form he quickly wipes them away and looks at the audience of teens in front of him ‘’ Now unless you are my children you may all leave, we have a Christmas dinner to finish!’’

We all mumble our excuses and head towards the door 

‘’ Killer?’’ I hear behind me as the other start to walk out to the cars

‘’ Yes?’’

‘’ Thank you.’’ she kisses me tenderly and I feel the blush creeping on my face

‘’ I’m here always.’’

‘’ And forever’’ she adds holding the necklace around her neck that I had bought her a month ago now

I nod to her unable to contain my lips from curling into a toothy smile as I walk off her porch and whisper to myself ‘’I love my Happy Ending’’


	37. Happy New Year... Or Not

*31st December*

Emily’s POV

I knock on the door of the DiLaurentis’ house. It swings open to reveal Charlotte there ‘’ Americano! You ready to party?’’

‘’ Hell yeah!’’ I laugh walking in ‘’ I didn’t know you were staying here’’

‘’ I’m not. Just dropped by for lunch… We’re kinda building up to the whole full family package thing’’ she tries a light laugh

‘’ Ok, that’s cool then I guess… I mean you gotta starts somewhere right?’’ I shrug my shoulders and she nods ‘’ So you’re coming with us right?’’

‘’ Yeah, she is, me too!’’ Jason says walking out of the living room

‘’ Yeah I know! Aria couldn't shut up about it the car! It was cute at first but now I’m just praying for you to go shut her up!’’ I laugh

‘’ I’ll go and sort that out right now!’’ he grins and walks out to the car

I hear a car door slam and squeal outside. I turn around and see Aria and Jason kissing. I smile a little, glad that Aria has finally moved on from Mr F- Ezra and that Jason has found a reason to stay on his feet. 

‘’So where’s your sister?’’ I turn back towards Charlotte

‘’ Here!’’ a yell comes from the stairs 

I peer over her shoulder and see Ali in khaki jeans, a creme blouse and grey ankle boots with heels. Her blonde locks are flowing down her shoulders, she’s put black eyeliner and black eyeshadow making her eyes more noticeable and more beautiful than usual, which I didn’t think possible. 

‘’ Shall we go? she says as she gives me a light kiss on the cheek

‘’ Yes, but don’t forget your jacket’’ I remind her

‘’ Right’’ she goes over to the coat rack and takes out a brown leather jacket that fit her curves perfectly. 

‘’ Great let’s go!’’ Charlotte chants heading out and we follow suit

——————————————————————————————————

*at the party*

Alison and I decide to take a break from all the dancing and go sit on the couch.

‘’ What time is it?’’ she asks me

I take out my phone ‘’ 11:45’’

‘’15 minutes!’’ she yells and a bunch of whoops start going around in the room

‘’ So, Mermaid, any New Years resolution?’’

‘’ Yeah actually I do.’’ I pull her onto me so her knees are either side of me and gaze into her eyes ‘’ I’m going to make sure that the most sexy,’’ kiss ‘’ gorgeously hot,’’ kiss ‘’ and incredible woman’’ kiss ‘’on this earth never feels alone or afraid.’’

‘’ I never feel alone or afraid when you’re by my side, Killer’’ she blushes 

‘’ Who says I was talking about you?’’ I smirk

She scoffs and playfully hits my arm

‘’ Kidding!’’ I put my hand up ‘’ You know there’s only you’’ I smile

I place my hands on the small of her back and pull her into me and we start passionately making out on the couch. I can taste the tequila off her lips from when we did shots with the gang. Surprisingly enough it makes the kiss better and I bite her lip a little. ( Jaria, Haleb, Spoby, Cece and Noel) We’re both a little tipsy her more than me, so we’ve lost all inhibitions. That is until

‘’ Em! Ali!’’ Hanna shouts at us and we jump apart ‘’ Stop eating each others faces! The countdown’s about to begin in 2 mins!’’

We get up and follow Hanna. She leads us to the rest of the group and they’re all standing in pairs. Well apart from Cece and Noel. Everyone else is next to their partner. Noel stands on a table and this being his party he gives a small speech

‘’ Friends, idiots, classmates and idiotic classmates’’ he earns a small laugh from the crowd ‘’ I would like to thank you all for being here tonight and every other party, you are the reason they're so amazing! I hope next year is better than the last! Cause man, this town has been through some shit this year! For those in relationships I wish you the best! And for those who are single, don’t lose hope! And on that note bitches: let the countdown begin!!!’’’ 

‘’ 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! 0! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!’’ we all yell

I spin Alison around to face me ‘’ Happy New Year, Princess’’ I breathe against her lips

‘’ Happy New Year, Love’’ we both lean in and crash our lips together, our tongues immediately come in contact neither of us wanting to waste time. I cup her face as she wraps her arms around my waist and she pulls me in as close as possible, there’s no space left between our bodies. I lose my hands in her hair and just kissing her as though my life depends on it. 

When we pull away for air, we both wear a huge smile on our faces

‘’ I love you so fucking much Alison Lauren DiLaurentis ‘’ I whisper to her as I look into her sparkling blue eyes shining with electricity and love, our foreheads leaning against one another. 

She lets out a light giggle ‘’ I love you more Emily Catherine Fields’’ 

I close my eyes trying to trap myself in this moment or at least remember every single bit of it ‘’ I refuse to believe that’’ I say just living in the moment. Gosh, her love’s got me looking so crazy right now. I don’t understand how her love can do what no one else can. If she’s not there, there ain’t nobody else to impress. Her love’s got the best of me, she’s making a fool of me, she’s got me sprung and I don’t care who sees. Cause she got me looking so crazy right now, so crazy in love. (A/N I know these are lyrics to Crazy in Love by Beyonce, don’t hate) 

My thoughts are interrupted by a small sniff and I shoot my eyes wide open

‘’ What’s wrong, babe?’’ I worry and start caressing her cheek to soothe her

‘’ Please don’t leave me’’ she sniffles

‘’ What? Why would I do that?’’

‘’ You’re so good to me and you're so kind and thoughtful and I know loads of girls want you. I’m not stupid. You turn every straight girl gay’’

‘’ Maybe I do. But the only girl I care about is you.’’ 

‘’ Promise me you’ll always be there for me. That you’ll never leave me…’’ 

I kiss her gently, pouring my entire heart into it

‘’ I’ll always be here for you, as long as you want me.’’

‘’ I’ll always want you’’ she says looking at the ground

‘’ I promise. Team Emison all the way’’

She cracks a little smile an her tears dry away

‘’ Gosh you’re so fucking beautiful’’ I tell her

She lifts her head up and our lips meet again for another incredibly mind-blowing kiss. 

After we pull apart, I keep my arm around her waist, my hand resting on her hip as we go and wish a happy new year to all our mates

We spend the rest of the night dancing, singing, laughing, being teens in love and it feels fantastic! I’ve never felt more alive or happier in my life than in this moment!

——————————————————————————————————

I fumble to place my keys in my lock and Ali places her hands over mine to steady me. Once we’re inside we go straight up to my room and get ready for bed.

We get into my bed and immediately Ali snuggles into my side. I rest my arms around her and she drapes her arm across my stomach.

‘’ Emily?’’

‘’ Alison’’

‘’ Do you mean what you said earlier?’’

‘’ Not only do I mean it but they are words I’m going to live by.’’ I kiss her forehead ‘’ No matter what happens, I’m here, with you. Stuck in love with you. And I wouldn't have it any other way’’ I mumble against her hair

‘’ I’ll be your Happy Ending, if you’ll be mine’’

‘’ I dream of being your Happy Ending’’ 

She turns slightly so half her body is slightly on top of me. She reaches up with herds and strokes my face and grabs my chin as she edges her face up to mine and kisses me tenderly, I feel the love going through me and I rest my hands on her hips as she slowly starts to move on top of me. She bites my bottom lip earning a slow moan from as she pushes her knee into my centre

‘’ Fuck… Ali’’ 

She reaches her hand under my shirt and starts massaging my breasts. We keep making out, the kiss getting rougher as we go.

Suddenly we hear a toilet flush and steps coming towards us.

Alison looks at me startled and I push her off of me just in time as my dad opens the door to check in on us.

‘’ Emmy? Did you just get in?’’

‘’ Yeah, like 5 minutes ago. Ali is here but she’s asleep already’’

‘’ Oh right well see you tomorrow’’ he closes the door and I turn around to face Alison and we just explode into a fit of giggles

‘’ We really need to start being more careful’’ I tell her

‘’ Sorry I just needed to touch you’’ 

‘’ Fine by me, let’s just try not to do it when my parents are home…’’ I plead

‘’ But that just makes it hotter and sexier’’ she bites my earlobe

‘’ um… yeah’’ I struggle ‘’ But still’’

‘’ Ugh fine… ‘’ she grumbles ‘’ Can you big spoon me please?’’ 

I don’t answer and instead I just wrap my arms around her and rest my head on the crook of her shoulder

‘’ Goodnight, Mermaid’’

‘’ Goodnight’’ I kiss her hair and close my eyes

I quickly fall asleep and dream about the girl lying next to me.

——————————————————————————————————  
*listen to Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes*

*next morning*

I wake up to blonde hair all in my face and a weight on my right side. I slowly turn my head and see Ali hugging me like a koala. And I find it adorable. I reach for my phone and take a cute picture of us and then just one of her. I set my phone down. She looks so peaceful, she’s smiling slightly and her soft snores sound like a melody. I slowly detach myself from her, careful not to wake her up. I go to the bathroom and throw a bit of water on my face and I tie my hair up in a ponytail because morning hair and ugh… I head downstairs in my pyjamas: a tank top and flannel pyjama bottoms.

I walk into the kitchen and see boxes everywhere filled with stuff that are usually in the cupboards. My parents are standing there, getting things out and wrapping them in bubble wrap

‘’ What’s going on?’’ I ask slightly scared

‘’ Oh… Emmy! Morning! Happy New Year!’’ My mum comes up to hug me and my dad does the same ‘’ Happy New Year baby girl!’’ 

‘’ Yeah yeah… Happy New Year… What is going on?’’ I demand this time my voice firmer

‘’ Why don’t you sit down?’’ my mum tells me

‘’ Why would I need to sit down? What is happening? Why are you guys packing?’’ I start to worry as I find a seat at the kitchen table

‘’ Honey… We’re-um- we’re moving to Texas’’ I stay quiet ‘’ All of us.’’

I can’t be moving to Texas no… no. no! 

‘’ I can’t move to Texas!’’ I yell

‘’ We’re sorry Emily, but it’s hard for me and your dad to be away from each other for so long’’ my mum tries to explain

‘’ Then I’ll stay here just like last time!’’ I beg

‘’ It’s hard for me to be away from you too, Emmy! I don't see you grow up and there’s only a few months of that left and I don't want to miss them’’ my dad admits  
‘’ You can’t take me away from here! You can’t take me away from my life, my school, my friends! You can’t take me away from Alison!!!’’ I cry standing up my fists all balled up

I can’t go without seeing her every day, it just won’t work for me.

‘’ We’re sorry Emily. But that’s the way it is. We’ve been talking about it for a while and it’s just too difficult for your dad to be away from us and I need to be with him too’’ my mum continues

I can’t believe they’re putting me in this position. I know they love each other a lot and so I understand how difficult it must be for them but what about how hard it’s going to be for me. Especially that I’m pretty sure Texas isn’t as open as Rosewood. In Texas, there would be no Aria, no Spencer, no Hanna-Banana, no Toby, no Jason, no Caleb. But worst of all there would be no Alison. I can’t help the tears that fall down my face as I have to admit defeat  
‘’ How long till we leave?’’

‘’ 2 days’’

‘’ So in 2 days we’re moving to Texas huh…’’ I huff trying to control my sobs 

‘’ We didn’t want to ruin the past few days for you…’’ my mum says

‘’ Yeah, well now instead, I have to tell my girlfriend, whom I promised that I would never leave alone and who means everything to me, that in two days I’m moving into another state for the end of our senior year!’’ I shout throwing my hands up in the air 

‘’Emily! Your tone!’’ my dad raises his voice

‘’ I’m sorry… I just can’t believe I’m leaving it all behind, I can’t believe I’m gonna have to break my promise. I can’t believe I’m going to hurt her. I can’t believe I’m not going to be in Rosewood… My home… Our home’’ they come up to me and both hug me from a different side ‘’ I can’t believe we’re going to Texas’’

‘’ Em?’’ a small voice quivers behind me

I whip around to see Ali in one of my Rosewood Sharks jumpers that is way too big for her and in her booty shorts pjs, tears falling down her face drowning herself in sorrow, lost and pain. 

‘’ Baby…’’ I whisper walking up to her. I grab her in a warm embrace and I feel her tears dampen my tank top. I hold on to her tighter and try to stay strong for her. I keep trying to fight the tears that threaten to fall. But I heard the pain in her voice, and knowing that it’s somehow my fault kills me

‘’ We’ll- um- We’ll leave’’ my mum says and ushers herself and my dad out the kitchen and up the stairs

‘’ You promised me!’’ she yells and pushing away from me 

‘’ Ali! This wasn't planned!’’ I reply 

‘’ I don’t care!’’ she walks towards me venomously ‘’ You promised me!’’ her hands ball up into fists and she starts hitting my chest ‘’ You said I’d never be alone!’’ shit she’s a lot stronger than I expected her to be ‘’That you’d always be there!’’ I grab her arms and pull her close to me knowing that right now she just needs me to hold her, reassure her. She keeps thrashing around until eventually she gives up and slumps into the hug ‘’ You fucking promised’’ she sobs into my chest and I can’t help but let Niagara Falls happen.

 

‘’ I’m so sorry… I wish it wasn't like this… I hate myself for doing this to you’’ I sob. I press my lips to her temple and keep them there for a few seconds until I pull away and stare deeply into her eyes. ‘’ Nothing’s gonna change’’ I wipe her tears away as she reaches up to wipe mine ‘’ We’ll power through it. We’ll make it work. This is just a small bump in the road.’’ I pull her in close to me again. Her arms are around my waist and mine around her neck. I nuzzle into the side of her face and mumble ‘’ I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. I’m your Happy Ending and your mine. Nothing changes. Don’t ever forget that. Okay?’’ she nods slightly and pulls her arms tighter around me. We stay like this for a while. My mind is blank. I don’t know what to do. What to say. I finally get her and I have to leave her. And there’s nothing I can do about it.  
‘’ How long do we have?’’ her voice trembles as she looks up at me slightly. Her beautiful blue eyes seem glazed over. I feel a pang of guilt and sadness as I see the lost, the hurt but worst of all the dread and fear in her eyes. I lean down and our lips meet in desperation for one another. The kiss is slow, mournful, languish and filled with the agony of love. I taste the tears on her lips and pull away, no longer able to have the strength to keep going.

I sigh in desolation ‘’ Two days’’

She buries her head in my chest again and I just stand there staring at the white walls in front of me whilst repeatedly murmuring to her ‘’ I’m so sorry, Princess… I love you’’

Because until we finally had our happy ending that’s all I could do…


	38. My Happy Ending Forever

*2 days later*

Alison’s POV

The alarm finally went off and I immediately turn it off. I was already up. In fact, I had laid awake for most of the night watching the hours slowly go by but at the same time too fast. I had spent the night staring at the goddess next to me. Studying her every feature. She’s jaw-dropping and no one could deny that. I gently tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear and lightly caress her cheek. Her eyes slowly flutter open and I lose my self in her engulfing brown orbs before she closes them again, scrunching her nose, not ready to face the day.

‘’ Quit staring’’ she groans

‘’ Why?’’

‘’ Because it’s the morning and I look awful’’

‘’ You could never look awful, you are perfection’’ I peck her lips 

She wraps her arms around me and pulls me closer to her as I put hand on her hip. She nuzzles her head in the crook of my neck and stays there for a bit. If she doesn't wake up now, she won’t budge. I know her.

‘’ Sweetie… You need to get up. We’re leaving in less than an hour.’’ I couldn't quite stop my voice from faltering as I realise these are the last hours I’ll get to spend with her.

We spent the last two days with the girls and we’re all driving her to the airport in my car. But those days went by too fast. We tried to be positive and laugh as much as possible. But for me it made matters worse. Because every time it reminded me that we wouldn't be able to create these sort of memories in merely a couple of hours. That I wouldn't get to see her shake her head as she laughs at something stupid Hanna says. I won’t get to see her ask Spencer to explain what her words mean and then laugh at the comments any 4 of us would make about the explanation. I won’t get to see her talk so passionately about romance with Aria whilst eyeing me. I won’t get to see her. And that just tears my heart apart more and more each time.

‘’ Ugh…’’ she grumbles and lets go of me lying on her back 

I get off the bed and head towards the door ‘’ I’ll go make us breakfast whilst you get ready, love ok?’’ I smile weakly. She sits up on her bed, legs dangling over the side, she pats her lap and I go and sit on her, wrapping my arms around my neck and she secures me by my waist.

She leans her face against mine and presses a kiss on my cheeks, her lips linger making the moment more bitter-sweet than before. Gosh, I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. I feel a tear fall across my cheek. I can’t do this. I promised myself I’d be strong. I pull away from the kiss, gently pecking her own cheek before jumping off her lap

‘’ Ali…’’ she calls out after me her voice soft

‘’ I’ll go make breakfast! Hurry to get ready! Don’t want you to miss your flight!’’ I wipe the tear away and run out of the room

I walk out onto the front porch, I try to control my breathing and fight back the tears but it’s proving to be a whole lot harder! Goddammit why did I have to let my walls down! Old me would never have cried about this! Fucking hell! 

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Brea—

‘’ Ali?’’ I look up in front of me to see our friends and grit my teeth 

‘’ Hey you okay?’’ Aria approaches me wrapping her small arm around my back

‘’ I’m fine’’ I spit pulling away. They all stare at me in complete shock. And I realised how I had sounded ‘’ Sorry, its just harder than I even thought’’ I whisper, I dab my eyes a little trying to catch the tears and water that had formed in my eyes already ‘’ I promised myself I’d stay strong for the both of us but I don’t know how long I can do this’’ I throw my hands up in desperation

‘’ It’s okay Ali you know, to allow yourself to be weak’’ Spencer assures me

‘’ I know, I know… It’s just if I allow it to show in front of her for even a second then I know we’re both going to fall apart and I know she’s going to stay. And I know she wants to be with her family and I don’t want to take that away from her’’ I admit, I pause for a little, thinking about how I’ll push through this ’’ Listen, I have an idea. I need you all to just go along with it. Don’t try me on it. I just need you to let me do it. Please.’’ I beg

They all nod and we walk inside as I steady myself.

Emily’s POV

I heard the girls walk in as I came down the stairs. Ali’s eyes were red and glazed over from holding back her feelings.

‘’ Babe…’’ I go up to her as I wrap my arms around my waist ‘’ You okay?’’

Her demeanour becomes cold, hard and menacing as she places her hands on my chest and pushes me away ‘’ Yeah, I’m fine’’ she answers neutrally and walks into the kitchen. I look at the girls questioningly as we follow her and they just shrug their shoulders… That can’t be good

I quickly grab my breakfast whilst the girls and I try to make the most of it. Ali stays back a little, finding last minute things to do like dishes, checking nothing has been left behind, offering to help put the last things in to the moving vans… She’s starting to stress me out.

The second I finished my plate, she takes it away from me. She starts washing it at the sink and we stare at her like she’s gone nuts. It makes me feel like she can’t wait till I’m gone. I walk up behind her and wrap my arm around her, leaving small kisses on her neck and collarbone. I rest my hands on hers and force her to put the plate down.

‘’ Princess… You need to relax’’ I tell her but instead she does the complete opposite. She tenses up and in an effort to help her out, I try to gently sway us side to side. 

She turns around in my arms and gives me what seems like an apologetic smile before breaking herself free from me ‘’ I am relaxed, Emily. There’s no reason for me not to be.’’ she says pointedly with a cold expression, it’s like she’s half the new her, half the old her

‘’ Ali… You’re scaring me… What’s happening?’’ I worry

‘’ Nothing.’’ She practically spits at me. ‘’ Girls, does it look like anything’s going on?’’ she looks behind me and I turn around to see the girls quickly shaking their heads no. I really, really do not like this one bit. ‘’ Exactly.’’ she looks down at her watch before announcing ‘’ Right, let’s go. Or you’re going to miss your flight.’’ 

‘’ Yeah… Ummm… Sure. I’ll just be a minute.’’ I run upstairs

‘’ Hurry!’’ I hear Ali grunt behind me as I shut the door of my now empty room

Shit, I think to myself. Ali is pissed at me. Alison is mad at me and for what? My whole world is gonna turn itself around. I’m moving to a place where I know no one. I’m not spending the last few months of my high school with my best friends or my girlfriend but with complete strangers. No one will have gone through what we’ve had. No one will understand or believe even. It’s not anything I’ve done. She knows I need to go. She knows I need to be with my family. She knows I love her. She knows I always will. So why is she doing this to me? to us? and even more worryingly to herself?

(A/N You can start listening to Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer from here if you wish)

‘’ EM! GET A MOVE ON! STOP BEING A BABY! WE NEED TO GO NOW!!!’’ Ali shouts extra loudly and it pierces my heart to see her throw herself away like this. 

I meet the girls in the car. Ali is in the drivers seat and I’m in the passenger seat. I look over at her and her face is stern. No emotions are apparent. I let out a noticeable sigh and look through the window as we drive away from my home. From the place I grew up. From us. The thought scares me too much so I study Alison’s face. Wanting to remember every inch of her skin. Her pink lips that always taste of her candy chapstick. Her blue eyes in which I always found myself drowning. Her perfect posture that proves she’s a princess. The way she has cute little hands that somehow fit perfectly with mine. A smile creeps on my face as I try to reach for it on the gearbox but it quickly falters when she takes it away and places it on the steering wheel. 

Ok that hurts like a lot. 

‘’ What the fuck is your problem Alison?’’ I exclaim turning in my seat to look at her properly but she just keeps looking ahead silently ‘’ Why are you acting like this? This morning you were all sweet and loving, you were the real you and now you’re back to your old bitchy self!’’ I’m beyond pissed right now!

‘’ Don’t say that Em.’’ she answers in a cold tone but I detect a hint of sadness behind it, maybe it’s just a front or not ‘’ I’m not acting like anything. I’m just trying not to be dramatic about this like you’re being right now. It’s not the end of the world. You’re moving to Texas. You’re not dying.’’ she exasperates with a huff

‘’ Are you kidding me right now? You were balling your eyes out when you learnt I was leaving.’’ shock fills my voice as I’m unable to comprehend anything happening right now

‘’ Oh, get over it Emily! I cried once and now it’s done, I’m fine.’’

‘’ And here I thought you loved me’’ I slump back into my seat awaiting an answer but nothing… she just keeps driving along the motorway. I wait a whole 40 minutes and she doesn’t utter a single word, not even when I stared at her for about 20 minutes in utter incredulity that she hadn’t even dignified my comment with a response. Pure silence. The girls were trying to make small talk and I joined in passively at first, quickly getting more into the conversation as I realised I wasn't going to waste my last hour with my best friends being moody about my unloving and uncaring girlfriend.

We finally pull up to the airport and Alison parks the car. The girls get out and as I undo my seatbelt, I notice Ali is completely still and not showing any signs of moving

‘’ Babe…’’ forget worried now I full on starting to have a panic attack, she doesn’t even budge ‘’ I’m sorry for what I said… I know this is going to be tough but we have each other and we’ll work it through. We always do. We always find our way back to each other.’’ I look at her intently as she finally turns in my direction. Her eyes seem tired and her jaw is set straight. She’s trying to contain her emotions but her eyes are betraying her. ‘’ Come on, we have to go.’’

‘’ No. I’m staying here. Tell the girls I’ll wait for them here.’’ she leans over me and opens my car door. I automatically get out and look behind me at her. She’s gone back to her previous position, body facing the front. 

‘’ No goodbye kiss?’’ I attempt. Again, no answer. Although, I see a small shift in her posture, she slouches a little and her head tilts down ‘’ Fine. Be like that.’’ With that I slam the door and meet back up with the girls who had walked ahead in the meantime.

We enter the airport and head towards check-in. I go through all the stuff and we walk to my gate. 

 

‘’ Will passengers for the plane to Austin, Texas at Gate 4 please prepare to board their flight in 5 minutes. Thank you’’ the intercom announces

‘’ So this is it huh?’’ Spencer chokes

‘’ Yeah’’ I nod

‘’ Gosh I’m gonna miss you so much!’’ Spencer wraps her arms around my neck and I hug her back

‘’ Hey don’t worry! I’ll make sure you’re the only smart girl I call for help!’’ I chuckle nervously 

‘’ Move! I want my Emmy hug too!’’ Aria exclaims pushing the other brunette out of the way and latching on to me 

‘’ Don’t worry shorty!’’ I laugh as I pull her in close to me ‘’ Call me if I need to beat Jason’s arse up…’’ 

‘’ I don’t think I’ll need to, but thank you’’ she smiles I look behind her and see the girl I’m closest too. The one who knew me before the others, the one who helped me, the one I was joined at the hip with. She has tears in her baby blue eyes and she keeps trying to wipe them away

I detach myself from Aria and grab her in warm embrace ‘’ Hey, don’t cry Hanna Banana… If you cry then I cry, then Aria cries and then Spencer joins in too. We wouldn't want to ruin all of those pretty faces for today would we?’’ I whisper to her as I soothingly stroke her hair 

‘’ Sorry’’ she sobs ‘’ I’m going to miss you so much Emily… I don’t know what I’m going to do’’

‘’ Don’t apologise, it’s okay… You’ll go on as normal and I’ll be back before you know it.’’ I reassure her 

‘’ Gate 4 now ready to board’’ the intercom says

‘’ Okay, then’’ I pull away from Hanna and look at all of my best friends, all but one that is. It saddens me that we left it the way we did. I don't even know how we left it to be honest. The way she had just let my words hang loose in the air like that ‘’ I love you girls so much and I’ll be back soon and we’ll spend our summer together and you all better keep me up to date 24/7 of what’s going on in your lives.’’ We giggle a little ‘’ Thank you for everything’’ we have a small group hug and do our best to contain the tears. I make my way to the gate. Ready to momentarily leave it all behind, my past, my school, my home, my friends, A-

‘’ EM!’’ dreaming. This only happens in movies, I tell myself as I keep walking  
‘’ Emily!!!’’ Okay that was more than one voice. I turn around to see all the girls pointing a little behind them.

In the distance, blonde curls are bouncing up and down. I look back at the boarding assistant to whom I was about to show my ticket and indicate her to wait a minute. 

I quickly start running and meet her halfway ‘’ Ali’’ I say breathless 

‘’ I love you too!’’ I lift her up in my arms and quickly put her back down, just holding on to her as she she sobs against my chest ‘’Em, I’m so so sorry! I tried dealing with it every way possible and I couldn’t! I don’t know how to deal with this…’’ she explains

‘’ Hey, it’s okay, Princess! I got you, you got me. That’s all we need, okay?’’ I look down at her and she smiles up at me brightly

‘’ I can’t believe I almost let you leave without your goodbye kiss’’ she whispers against my lips seductively

I bite my bottom lip ‘’ This isn’t goodbye’’

We smash our lips together, wasting no time but still going slow as our tongues dance in the fire of our love. We move in perfect sync, her lips feel soft against mine and I can taste the mint on her breath from the gum she had earlier. My head feels dizzy, not because of the lack of air, but because of what she does to me. I swear she drives me nuts! 

We finally pull away and she leans her forehead against mine ‘’ This isn’t goodbye’’ I repeat ‘’ I’ll come for the holidays, there’s prom and graduation. I wouldn't miss those for the world, Princess’’ I peck her lips lingering a little as I noticed tears are starting to pool in her eyes

‘’ Gate 4 is about to close. Would the last passengers please make their way to the gate as fast as possible’’ the intercom insists

I look back at where my gate is. Past the girls. We walk to them holding hands and I stop briefly. 

‘’ I promise I’ll be back before you know it’’ 

I wrap one arm around Ali and give her a gentle kiss on the temple ‘’ My Happy Ending’’ I murmur for her ears only 

‘’ Forever’’ she blushes as a single drop falls down on her cheek

Unable to take it any longer, I walk away to the gate and show the lady my ticket. She lets me through and before I go in. I turn around one final time and see Hanna and Ali balling their eyes out on one another and Spencer’s arm wrapped around Aria who's clearly trying to hold back her own tears. The taller brunette waves at me and I give her a small smile before entering the plane.

I sit in my seat, earphones in. Letting 5 Seconds of Summer nurse my pain. Lost. Drowned. But I know I’ll be come back and I’ll feel complete again.


	39. Without You

*The next day: Monday morning/*

Emily’s POV

Beep Beep Beep!

‘’ Ugh!’’ I groan

First day at my new school… great! It had barely been 24 hours without the girls and I already miss them like crazy… I miss her like hell… I really don’t want to be the gay new kid a third of the way through the year. Maybe, I’ll just cleverly not mention about the whole gay thing… I don’t want to look for trouble. I just want to get through the next five months and graduate so that I can be back where I belong. 

I get up to my desk and pick up my phone. 12 new text messages to scroll through

Paige: hey! hope it all goes well in texas! :)

Toby: sure it’ll be fine em! 

Caleb: just want to wish you luck! :)

Jason: dont screw up Emily… Kidding i know you won’t! hope your first day goes fine

Aria: EMMMMMYYYY!   
Spencer: i miss you already

Hanna: where are you now that i need ü #beliebe 

Aria: gonna be weird not seeing you today… :( lemme know how it goes

Alison: This is so much harder than anything I’ve ever been through 

I gulp as I keep going through the messages I received

Hanna: seriously though… no one gets my sarcasm but you, not even caleb

Alison: I love you so much sweetheart :* <3 can’t wait to wake up in your arms again I already miss your warmth

A small smile creeps on my face as I read through her next text to me

Alison: Long distance relationships do not rely on physical love, long distance relationships are driven by the love that inspires your heart, mind and soul. You are my heart, you are my mind, you are my soul. You are my love. I hope you have a good first day and don’t let anyone hit on you otherwise I’ll have to hit them :) xxx <3 <3 <3 <3

Her text gives me the courage I need to face the day. I throw on a simple pair of black jeans and white shirt with a grey jumper over it. I go down and greet my parents

‘’ Morning’’

‘’ Morning, little girl’’ my dad answers

‘’ Hey sweetie, how you feeling?’’ my mum asks

I glare at her ‘’ Why would you ask me that? I just left the girl I’ve been in love with for almost 3 years behind, not to mention my best friends. And I’m about to start a new school in a town where I don’t think they’ve ever seen an out lesbian teenage girl. So my answer is, I’m feeling like shit’’ 

‘’ Emily! Language!’’ my dad warns me

‘’ I get you're mad at us but this is just temporary… We’re sorry for this, we are but this family needs this.’’ My mum tries to make me understand

‘’ Yeah whatever’’ I grab my car keys and my school bag. ‘’ I’ll see you guys later’’

‘’ What about breakfast?’’ my dad wonders

‘’ I’ll stop at a Starbucks or something on my way to school!’’ 

I walk out and close the door behind me. I jump in my car and drive for about 10 minutes before I find a small coffee shop and stop there for breakfast. I order a vanilla latte, Alison’s favourite because she’s all that’s on my mind right now. I pull out my phone.   
Alison’s POV 

My phone chimes and I fish it out of my pocket before I enter my car. It’s an Instagram notification, Em tagged me in something. It’s a cup of coffee with a heart drawn around it. She put as caption:

Missing @Ali-Di so much I ordered her drink! Love you Princess :* #vanillalatte #ineedyouboo #loveyou #missyou #princess #happyending

I like the pic as I sit in my car and just as I’m about to comment I get a phone call. Emily’s face shows up on the screen and I immediately accept the call and put her on speaker as I exit my driveway

AD: Good Morning love!

EF: Morning beautiful! Gosh I already miss your voice

AD: This is going to be so much harder than we thought, isn’t it 

I sniffle a little but try to cover it so she doesn't hear

EF: It is but we’ll get through it, we always do

I hear in her voice the truth and it just breaks me more. I can’t contain the tears anymore and allow them to roll down my cheeks. I keep quiet not wanting to betray myself

EF: Babe? 

It hurts so much not being able to hold her or see her. I feel like I’m suffocating. It’s seriously becoming hard to breathe. Whats happening???

EF: Answer me Ali… I’m worried right now

AD: I-I-I’m fine… sorry I just I can’t breathe Em, it hurts…

EF: Ok park your car, you can’t drive like that…

I do as I am told

EF: Focus on the sound of my voice ok? I need you to close your eyes and just breathe. Listen to me. I want you to visualise this. It’s just you and me. We’re sitting on our sofa, in our new house. We’re watching Clueless for millionth time. We cuddle until suddenly you feel a tug on your arm. You look down to see a beautiful baby crawling in front of you. That baby is ours. That’s our Happy Ending. 

It suddenly feels like a whole weight is lifted from my shoulders and my sobs have stopped and my breathing is controlled again. I start the car again 

AD: Thank you… I don’t know what I’d do without you

EF: And you’ll never have to find out, I promise. I said you’d never be alone. You have my heart Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, make of it what you will but just know that it’s yours

AD: I love you so much Killer… No words can describe what you make me feel right now

EF: I feel the same about you

AD: So you ready for your first day?

EF: Not really… I don’t I’ll ever be ready, but the sooner it’s over, the sooner I see you again. 

I can hear the smile on her face as she says that and my heart warms.

AD: That’s true… Well just be you’re usual amazing self and you’ll be fine. Just don’t be too amazing I don't want to thrown down any Texas hoes

EF: That would be so sexy though!

AD: Don’t try me Fields!

EF: Don’t worry no way I ever could! 

AD:….

EF: Babe, I just got to my new school, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tonight yeah? Skype with all the girls?

AD: Sounds great, Em… I love you  
EF: I love you too

As we hang up I park into the school parking lot. 

——————————————————————————————————

*1st class*

English lesson has just started and the seat next to me is empty. I stare at it wistfully, hoping that it’s occupier would just appear next to me and everything would be as it is supposed to be. But that would be too easy. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door and Principal Hackett walks in, a boy with pale skin and darkish hair trailing behind him. The principal whispers a few words to Ezra then leaves as the new kid just awkwardly stands there, his backpack slung on one shoulder and his arm holding the strap.

‘’ Students, seems like we have a new classmate joining us today. If you want to introduce yourself.’’ Ezra waves his hand in front of him gesturing for the boy to come forward.

The boy passes a hand through his hair, making it stand straight above his head. ‘’ Yeah sure’’ That’s a weird accent, where is he from ‘’ Ummm so… Hi, my name is Elliot Rollins’’ British definitely ‘’ I moved her over the Christmas holidays from London, which as you can probably tell from my accents, I come from. I guess my hobbies include Netflix, football, sorry I mean soccer’’ We all giggle a little at his nervousness. ‘’ and I want to be a psychiatrist’’ 

‘’ Well thank you Elliot. I’m Mr Fitz, your English teacher. How about you tell us your favourite book and maybe a quote before I let you take a seat?’’

I look at him intently, he seems nice enough. With this whole being a new person thing maybe I should try and befriend him. I mean he’s in a whole new country so he’ll probably need all the help he can get to find new friends. He seems smart as well so it wouldn't be boring to have him around

‘’ I guess my favourite book would be Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen’’ he looks at Ezra real quick who gives him an approving nod ‘’ and I guess my favourite quote would be…’’ He looks at the ceiling for a while and you can see he’s thinking seriously about what he’s about to say next ‘’ ‘We know what we are, but know not what we may be’ William Shakespeare is definitely one of them but I have too many to truly chose one’’ he answers truthfully  
So he’s quite a literate guy, nice.

‘’ Well thank you for that, Elliot. I see you are a keen reader so how about you go and sit next to Alison. Alison, if you could raise your hand please’’

I put my hand in the air and Elliot’s eyes immediately lock with mine. He looks down at the ground and smiles a little before coming to sit beside me.

‘’ Nice to meet you, Alison’’ he smiles to me

‘’ Nice to meet you, Elliot’’ I acknowledge him and turn back to the front as Ezra starts his lesson

*at the end of class*

‘’ So what lesson do you have next?’’ I ask as I pack away my things

‘’ History with Mrs Fletcher.’’ he answers looking at his schedule

‘’ My friends and I too! If you want we can go there with you’’ I offer as the girls, Noel and Caleb gather around

‘’ Sure’’ he grins

‘’ Oh by the way!’’ I move to the side and start pointing at each of my friends individually ‘’ This is Aria, Spencer, Hanna and her boyfriend Caleb and Noel!’’ I tell him as Noel grabs me into a side hug, he knew I was down about Em and we had yet to talk about it together

‘’ The boyfriend?’’ he raises an eyebrow at Noel

We all chuckle and he seems genuinely confused

‘’ No. Noel’s my best friend.’’

‘’ Oh right sorry’’ we all walk out into the corridor

‘’ Don’t apologise, even her girlfriend made that mistake’’ Noel laughs and I pinch him the side as he brings up Emily clearly making Elliot uncomfortable

‘’ Oh so you’re gay?’’ he questions a little shock written on his face

‘’ Not really, my girlfriend’s the only exception’’ 

‘’ Well she is very lucky’’ he compliments me

‘’ Thank you but trust me I’m the lucky one’’ 

‘’ If you say so…’’

As we walk to History, Elliot tells us a little more about himself and he’s an interesting guy. He’s clearly passionate about a lot of things. I think he fits in well with our group. Maybe we could become friends with him That would be cool.

The feeling of my phone vibrating in my pocket pulls me out of my thoughts. I pull it out as I walk to my seat

EF: first period is finally over… had to introduce myself in front of everyone… it was so awkward, i really don’t like speaking in front of people. wish you were with me, love you xxx

My lips curl into a sappy love smile as I stare at my screen and answer her back.

AD: wish i was with you too sweetie… we have a new kid too, he seems nice… i’m sorry you had to go through that i know how much you hate being the centre of attention love you xxx

I sit in my usual seat and Elliot sits in Emily’s usual place. I want to tell him to move but that would just be rude, so instead I daydream about Emily and how she already had imagined our future together with a kid… Gosh, I just can’t wait till that happens


	40. Miss You

*the next Saturday around 11*

Alison’s POV

The week had gone by slowly, it was torture. Elliot had integrated the group nicely: he’s smart, kind and he’s passionate about many things. He got along with the guys better although he still struggled with the sports lingo that apparently is not the same across the pond. Nonetheless, even with the new addition, something was still missing and it would stay like that for a couple of weeks more until I’d get to see that perfectly shaped face and heart again. It was hard. I had finally had the balls to do it, we’d gotten through a rough patch we were finally living our fairytale and then reality brought us back down to earth. I hate reality, it sucks. In my dreams, we’re joined at the hip and her parent didn’t take her away, she has the cutest promposal ever planned, it’s the best night of our lives so far and everything is the way it should be, but real life is never like that. Unfortunately.

‘’ You spaced out on me, again…’’ 

I look back at my computer screen and grin. 

‘’ What?’’ 

‘’ Nothing… I just love you’’ I admit

Emily’s smiles down adorably as she pushes a hand through her hair.

‘’ I love you too… Ugh I wish I could hug so bad right now! I need my princess!’’ she groans pouting

‘’ Me too, love… But please let’s not go down that road, I don’t want to put a downer on the rest of the day’’ 

‘’ Sure’’ she agrees ‘’ So what are your plans for later this weekend then?’’

‘’ Well, Elliot’s coming to pick me up for lunch, in about like half an hour. I’ll show him around Rosewood’’ I see Emily pull a small grimace but I decide to ignore it not wanting to have to go through this again. It’s only been a week that I’ve known him and she’s already gotten jealous at least 3 times ‘’ And then we’re meeting the others up for a movie and then dinner. And then we’re having a sleepover at Han’s!’’ 

‘’ Just you, Aria, Hanna and Spencer, right?’’ she worries, anxiously biting her bottom lip

‘’ Of course. Who else?’’ I knew the answer but I didn’t want it

‘’ Just thought your new boyfriend would join, that’s all’’ she mutters

‘’ Emily! We are not going through this again! He means nothing to me okay? I love you and only you! You should know that by now! Why don’t you get how much I love you?’’ I protest

‘’ Because Alison! I’m always going to doubt the way you feel about me! You’re just so out of this world and I’m so bland and I hate the fact that you can literally have anyone because you’re bi and everyone wants to be with you and you could be with anyone and I know he’s no exception! I’m not stupid!’’ she rambles rapidly clearly frustrated

‘’ Em… You are nowhere near bland… you are the most incredible person ever… If anything I should be the one who doubts how I deserved you… I love you okay?’’ 

‘’ It’s just so hard Ali… Everything seems so much harder without you next to me…’’ she huffs

‘’ It’s hard for me too…I wish I could kiss you right now. Convince you it’s all going to be okay, make you feel how much I love you…’’ I look down trying to keep my emotions in check ‘’You’ll be back in a month right? I’ll see you then. We’ll spend two amazing weeks together, we’ll make the most of it and then the prom and the end of year are here and you’re back in Rosewood before you know it! We’ll get through it. We’ve been through worse and this isn't what will take us down. I love you, Emily Catherine Fields and don’t you dare forget that’’ I touch my necklace as I say it, feeling the engraving underneath my skin

‘’ I’m sorry, babe… I didn’t mean to upset you.’’ I see her lift up and she seems to rest on her laptop screen, I mirror her and see tears starting to blur my vision ‘’ I love you okay? Against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be’’ a soft smile warms her face and a tear rolls down my cheek

‘’ Gosh… What did I do to deserve you?’’ I smile back

We sit in silence staring into each others eyes through the screen, our hands still up… I try and take in everything, her eyes, her hair, her smile and even her new room that I can vaguely see in the background

Suddenly my door swings open ‘’ Hey Alison!’’ I turn to face Elliot standing happy as he always seem to be ‘’I’m here! Ready t-‘’ He stops short realising I was busy ‘’ Oh I’m so sorry my bad… I didn’t mean to interrupt’’ He apologises

‘’ It’s.. uh’’ I dry the tears from my eyes ‘’ It’s fine’’ 

‘’ Sure it is’’ I hear Emily grumble on the other line, I throw her a threatening glance

‘’ Elliot meet Emily, Emily meet Elliot’’ I turn my laptop so that they face each other 

‘’ Um.. Hello’’ Elliot says shyly with his British accent

‘’ Hi’’ Em answers pretty dryly

‘’ I’ll go.. uh.. go wait for you downstairs Alison.’’ He tells me, he turns back to the screen ‘’ Emily.’’ He nods and walks out closing my bedroom door behind him

‘’ Why do you have to be so rude?’’ I tell her as soon as he’s left

‘’ Because Ali, you know that when it comes to you I don’t feel comfortable with this sorta thing!’’ she retorts

‘’ No, Emily! I told you 5 minutes ago how much you mean to me. That you have nothing to worry about. I literally cried just at the sight of you so don’t go pulling that insecure bullshit on me!’’ I stop but she’s about to start protest so I start again ‘’ No! I don’t want to hear it, Emily Fields! Have a good day! Bye!’’ And with that I slam my laptop shut.

God! Why does she not have faith in me! Haven’t I earned her trust yet? Aren’t I allowed to make new friends with cute shy British guys? Like it’s not like I want to be with anyone else but her anyways! I swear we’d established that.

I groan and as I get up from my bed. I grab my hand bag and throw all my essentials in: phone, wallet, keys, hand sanitiser and a bunch of other things. As I put on my jacket, I examine myself in the mirror a final time and do quick touch-ups, making sure my hair looks good before finally walking downstairs.

Elliot shows up at the bottom of the stairs ‘’ Hey… Sorry about that… Your mum said you were upstairs and I could go in… I really didn’t mean to interrupt’’

‘’ Don’t worry about it… Next time just knock’’ I smile at him ‘’ Well shall we then?’’ 

‘’ We shall!’’ he beams as he opens my front door for me. Aw, what a gentleman!

‘’ Bye Mum! See you later!’’ I yell as we walk out

*Ding*

I reach my phone out of my bag as Elliot opens the car door for me. I stand there and open press the menu button to see who messaged me.

Mermaid <3 : Hey Princess! I’m so sorry about what I said… I love you so much and I’ll work on my jealousy, I swear. It’s just… you know… It’s you… You haven this effect on me and I can’t help but be scared because you’re just so damn perfectly incredible and it scares me that someone like you could be interested in me. You are a dream come true to me, Alison Lauren DiLaurentis. And I’m sorry I got annoyed, it’s not cool of me… I love you, you’re my happy ending xxx Killer 

I smile like an idiot and my heart warms. I feel the butterflies in my stomach and a lightness on my shoulders

’’ Ali?’’ Elliot looks at me still holding the door waiting for me to get in

‘’ Right, sorry’’ I get in and he jumps in the driver’s seat

‘’ So why you smiling so hard?’’ he asks as we drive off

‘’ Emily’’ is all I answer, he gives a small nod and focuses back on the road

AD (to Mermaid <3) : I’m sorry too sweetie… I hate arguing with you… I’m yours and you're mine okay? don’t you forget that! I’ve already written the Happy Ending for the Mermaid and the Princess in the diary you got me and it’s not changing… ever… I love you xxx


	41. Pervy Prick

* Monday two weeks later: i.e 25/01/2016 *

Emily’s POV

I walk in the school hallway to my locker and open it. So far, I’ve managed to keep a low profile. I’ve met five people that I guess I can consider temporary friends, but I haven’t told them much about my life in Rosewood or A, I don’t really want to be some sort of object people will fascinate over. I’m good with just being Emily Fields, transfer student from Rosewood who’s dad is in the military.

‘’ Hey sexy!’’ I turn around to see a guy with black hair and icy blue eyes staring at me, slightly biting his lip. I recognise him, I think we’re in English together and he’s on the swim team.

I go back to my locker, I really don’t need this right now. Please… 

‘’ Shy are we?’’ he leans on the locker next to me and I can feel him eyeing me up and down

I keep ignoring him as I throw my books in my bag, shut my locker and walk off

‘’ Ooooo… Playing hard to get, are we?’’ he smirks as he falls into stride beside me. I feel everyone’s eyes on us and the attention is slowly starting to gnaw at me.

When I still don’t answer he whispers in my ear ‘’ What’s going through that beautiful mind of yours?’’ and wraps an arm around my shoulder

OK, now, I’ve had enough. I shrug him off and turn and face him ‘’ I’m not interested’’ 

‘’ She speaks’’ he grins devilishly as he puts a hand on my waist

This time I push him off ‘’ I said fuck off’’

‘’ Oh come on baby… Don’t be like that. Everyone wants me and I know you want me too’’

‘’ Well, you see you arrogant disgusting perverted prick’’ I grit through my teeth as I stare him square in the eye ‘’ I’m already taken, I am not a slut and you are not that great. If anything you’re creepy.’’ I turn to walk away but he grabs my arm and forcefully kisses me, in the middle of the hallway with everyone watching! I force him away with as much strength as possible 

‘’ What the fuck is wrong with you???’’ I yell now all eyes are on us, but suddenly I don't fucking care anymore 

‘’ Nothing, but don’t deny your boyfriend doesn't kiss you like I do’’ he smirks as he begins to get closer to me again 

‘’ You’re right… MY GIRLFRIEND’’ a series of gasps are heard in the crowd that has now gathered around us ‘’ doesn’t make-out with me like a pig. She’s has more class and integrity than you ever will have you asshole’’ 

With that I turn my heel and walk off.

‘’ You’re a dyke???’’ I stop dead in my tracks’’ What the fuck??? That’s such a waste…’’ My fists are closed and I’m doing my best not to lose it ‘’Although now that I think about it, maybe you could call your girlfriend over and we can have a little party of three’’ 

That’s fucking it! No one talks about Ali like that!

I run to him and tackle him to the ground. I start punching him repeatedly, him being bigger than me, I know that the second I give in he’ll turn us around. My vision is red in fury and all I can think is how he insulted me, Alison, her honour… How he dared to insinuate such a repugnant idea

All of sudden I feel two strong arms pulling me off of him and trying to stop me. I look at sight before me and see that the guy has a bloody nose and his eye is swelling. Shit.

I stop squirming and look at the people who are holding me: Finn and Sam. Two of the friends I was talking about earlier.

‘’ I’m fine let me go.’’ I say firmly

They look at each other hesitantly before letting me go. 

‘’ What the hell is happening out here?’’ the principal comes in to view. Shit. He looks between me and the bastard before yelling ‘’ Fields, Thomason, Hudson, Evans. My office now!’’   
Damn… Now even the guys are in trouble… And they never get into trouble 

‘’ Want to tell me why the hell he’s bleeding?’’ the principal demands shutting the door to his office behind

‘’ She brutally attacked me Sir! I was just walking beside her, trying to make her feel comfortable when-‘’

‘’ Oh really? Now was that before or after you forced your tongue down my throat??? Or maybe it was before you started disrespecting my girlfriend and I?!?!?!’’ I scream at him

The principal looks to the guy as if awaiting an explanation. Thomason wears a dumb look on his face ‘’ Sir! I would never do or say such things! You cannot believe her! I’m not like that! You know that! Who are you going to trust: me, a straight A student, or a murderer?’’ I freeze

‘’ Hey! You’re not dead as far as I’m concerned!’’ Finn protects me

‘’ No, you’re right QB I’m not. But Lyndon James is, isn’t he?’’ He’s looking at me straight in the eyes. How the fuck does he know about that?

‘’ Em…’’ Sam looks at me

‘’ Emily, you do not have to discuss this. It’s fine.’’ the principal reassures me

I feel my jaw tighten ‘’ No, it’s fine. He’s right.’’ I look at Finn and Sam who are clearly shocked by what I just said. ‘’ My friends and I were stalked for a year and terrible things happened. One of those included my first girlfriend being murdered.’’ I gulp at the memory. I close my eyes as flashes of the night coming back to me. My mother telling me. My feet giving way. The girls catching me as the air was being knocked out of me by some invisible force. 

‘’ Em… It’s fine. Don’t say anything’’ Finn wraps me in warm hug. I just shake my head and pull back

‘’ No, I’d rather you hear this from than him. This guy came to town soon after she died’’ I took a deep breath ‘’ telling me he was her cousin. But he was her ex-boyfriend who was crazy jealous that she picked me over him. One night he kidnapped my new girlfriend and then started chasing me to a lighthouse. We got into a struggle and I…’’ I’m unable to finish and the guys just hug me from either side. It’s weird, I didn’t think I’d ever tell them this, like we’re not that close. But best they hear from me than someone who doesn’t know the whole story

‘’ It was self-defence. Mr Thomason, you have no right to bring up such an issue. And you are suspended for 2 weeks for your behaviour and actions. I will not tolerate such abuse. Unfortunately Miss Fields, Mr Evans and Mr Hudson, I also have to suspend you for 2 days.’’

‘’ What! Wait no! Finn and Sam didn’t do anything they’re the ones who stopped me!’’ I protest

‘’ You’re telling me, you, alone, did this to Mr Thomason?’’ he chuckles pointing at douchebag’s face

‘’ Yeah… I guess so’’

‘’ In that case, boys you are not suspended.’’ The boys grin in relief ‘’ As for you two the suspension starts now.’’ He says looking sternly at me and Thomason

We both grunt and we all start to make our way to the door

‘’ Miss Fields... Could you stay behind for a moment please?’’ I look at the guys and give them a small nod as I mouth a thank you to them 

‘’ Yes, Sir?’’

‘' I am sorry that this happened. I want to let you know that in this school we refuse to accept such discrimination and bullying. I am also sorry about what he’s told your friends. I don’t know how he came across such information…’’

‘’ Well, it can’t be that hard. He knew my name. If you type it in google, you’ll find enough things about me to write a novel… ‘’ I shrug

‘’ Nonetheless, I hope this is the only trouble you’ll fall into here.’’

‘’ I promise.’’

‘’ Then you are dismissed’’ He goes around his desk and sits on his chair as I awkwardly nod my head and walk out.

——————————————————————————————————

Alison’s POV

I’m having lunch when my phone suddenly buzzes in my pocket. I get up from the table and fish out my phone. Emily’s name and picture pop-up on my screen and I immediately press answer

AD: Hello love… How come you’re calling me now? I thought you had lesson at this time

EF: Funny thing really… I may have gotten suspended for 2 days

AD: WHAT?!?! I yell into my phone and the whole quad turns to face me. I flip them off and get back to my phone call

EF: Don’t worry, it’s fine

AD: Emily Catherine Fields! It is not fine! What did you do?!

EF: I may have punched a guy a couple of times…

AD: Sorry what? it sounded like you said you punched a guy more than once… And that is not you

EF: I know… I know shouldn't have done it but he was flirting and then he tried to kiss me, I got pissed told him and basically the whole school I had an incredible girlfriend and then he said some disgusting shit and I just couldn't take it anymore… I’m sorry babe, it won’t happen again. I just don’t like the words he said

AD: Ugh… I can’t say I’m okay with you using violence but I guess you had valuable reason… just please promise not to do it again?

EF: I promise… Listen, Princess I need to go because my mum just got home and I’m pretty sure I’m in trouble. I love you

AD: Love you too bye sweetie   
I hang up and just stare at my phone in my hands. This isn't Emily. Even when she’s pissed off she usually reigns it in or uses words but she doesn't mercilessly beat the crap out of someone… I miss her so much. I miss her laugh. Her hugs. Her kisses. Gosh, this sense of longing just becomes unbearable. I let out a heavy sight just wanting the next two weeks to be over so I can see my baby

‘’ Ali!’’ Elliot beckons me at our lunch table

I smile and walk back to my seat next to him. I finished my lunch before Em called so I just rest my head on his shoulder. He moves his arm and puts it around me so that I’m more comfortable. It feels nice. It almost feels like Emily’s warmth and safety but it will never be that good. Why can’t the next two weeks be over dammit! I want my Emmy!!!


	42. Back To You

* Friday 12th February lunch*

Alison’s POV

‘’ So Ali, when did you say Emily was getting back?’’ Noel asks me

We’re all sitting at the lunch table right now. By all, I mean Caleb, Hanna, Aria, Spencer, Noel, Elliot and well me of course. 

‘’ She’s landing tomorrow morning!’’ I smile like a fool

‘’ What are your plans?’’ Elliot wonders

‘’ Probably netflix and chill all day’’ Hanna nudges me

‘’ Maybe…’’ I wink and the whole table laughs

Suddenly I hear my phone go off and see Em’s caller ID pop up on my screen 

AD: Hey! 

EF: Hey! Someone’s incredibly happy today!  
AD: Well why wouldn't I be? It’s the holidays in a couple of hours and I have an extremely hot girl coming to my house tomorrow and I’m planning to spend Valentine’s Day with her too…

EF: Oh really now? well she better not still be there once I arrive!

AD: Haha! You know there’s only you, love!

‘’ Ugh, you guys are even cute when you’re on the phone… What the fuck???’’ Hanna says

EF: Was that Hanna?

AD: Mhmmmm

EF: What a goof… Anyways, what you up to?

AD: Just having lunch at the quad with everyone

EF: Ah quad squad lunches… I actually miss those you know despite the horrible cafeteria food…

We chuckle a little together

AD: And I miss you being here…

EF: I’ll be here sooner than you know

AD: I know but I feel like the closer it is to you getting here, the slower time seems to be going… And that really pisses me off 

EF: What if I were to tell you you didn’t have to wait much longer?

AD: How much?

EF: Well how much time do you reckon it takes to go let’s say, from the cafeteria to the table in the quad?

AD: Like 30 seconds… 

EF: You sure, I swear it’s less…

AD: Give or take, I guess… Why? The line goes quiet Emily?

‘’ Yes Babe?’’ I whip my head around and there she is a couple steps behind me. Standing tall and as beautiful as ever.

‘’ EMILY!!!!’’ I jump out of my seat and into her arms. I wrap my legs around her waist and nuzzle my face in her neck

‘’ Hi there Princess…’’ she whispers to me holding tight ‘’ God… You have no idea how much I’ve missed you’’

‘’ Emmy…’’ I whisper as I pull back and look into her beautiful brown eyes, setting my feet on the ground. We lean our foreheads against each other and just stay there. Staring into each others eyes. Brown and blue colliding. I feel her every breath tickle my lips. All my nerves are heightened by her presence. Her hands on my waist sending electricity coursing through my entire body.

‘’ For fucks sakes! JUST KISS ALREADY!’’ Hanna yells at us

We both turn our heads to our friends before looking back at each other with cheeky grins. I bite my lower lip as I look between her eyes and her lips. She chuckles and leans in, her lips crash against mine and I’ve found my Bliss ( A/N: WAAADDDUPPP BOOK REFERENCE!!!). 

Our lips move in sync the instant we meet as if they could never forget the other. Which I know I never could. Our tongues waste no time and soon enough it feels like a gladiator fight. Both of us so in love and passionate about the other that it no longer feels like a fight for dominance but a fight for who loves whom more. I bring my hands to her face and cup her cheeks, trying to deepen the kiss to a maximum. Everything around me disappears and it’s just her and I. My stomach feels like the 4th July. My heart skips too many beats to keep count. And I lose myself in her. In this kiss. With her. 

‘’ Ok, now you guys need to get a room’’ Aria’s voice pulls us out of our paradise. I turn to face her, a scowl forming on my face. ‘’ What??? You were eating each others face whilst some of us are actually trying to eat real food!’’ she complains

‘’ I don’t care… I love my girlfriend and I am allowed to show her!’’ I retort

‘’ It’s fine babe!’’ Emily kisses my temple bringing me into a hug so that my front is against her side. Wow… I miss her hugs so much, it feels so warm, cosy, safe… so homey…

‘’ Move! I want a hug!!!’’ Hanna pushes us apart and wraps her arms around a dazed Emily, who quickly answers Hanna’s hug. I look at Em with a WTF face and she just mouthes a sorry

‘’ Hey there Hanna Banana!!! I miss you!’’ she pulls her into a tighter hug

‘’ OK move… Now it’s my turn’’ Aria pops up beside them. Emily happily obliges and wraps her arms around the small brunettes frames her head resting on Aria’s.

‘’ Munchkin!!!’’ Em laughs and then pulls away. She looks at Spencer who just stands there. ‘’ Spencer Wencey??? Do you wanna hug too?’’ She pouts 

‘’ Of course I do!’’ Spencer throws her hands up in the air and hugs her. Next thing I know we’re all in a group hug.

Emily is the first to pull away ‘’ Gosh… I’ve missed you girls so much’’ she almost has tears in her eyes

‘’ Well we’ve missed you too dopey!’’ Aria laughs

‘’ Hum hum!’’ We all look at the table to see the boys staring 

‘’ What about us? Did you not miss us?’’ Caleb gestures between him and Noel.

‘’ Of course I did guys!’’ She goes up to them and gives them quick hugs and then I see her stare at Elliot, who is sitting slightly aside, clearly uneasy. Fuck me. She’s going to be a nightmare about this.

‘’ Elliot, I suppose?’’ She asks. He just nods, scared. Quite frankly I am too. There is no trace of emotion on her face right now and with her recent stunt of hurting someone, I’m a little worried. ‘’ Nice to meet you.’’ She breaks out a smile and I sigh in relief ‘’I’ve heard a lot about you’’ She holds out her hand that he hesitantly shakes.

She comes stand next to me again and the girls find their seats. She looks at the table before wondering ‘’ You guys don’t mind if I have lunch with her right?’’ 

They all tell us that they’re cool with it and we go sit at another table in the quad on our own. When we sit, I immediately crawl onto her lap and bury my face in her chest.

‘’ You alright there, Princess?’’ she chuckles

‘’ I’m perfect’’ I smile up at her and give her a kiss on the lips ‘’ How come you got here early?’’

‘’ Oh it was always planned. I just didn’t tell you. Any of you. Well I told your mum. I’m guessing she told you dad. But yeah no, I wanted to surprise you.’’

‘’ Well I’m surprised and happy and more in love with you. Which I didn’t even think was possible.’’ I smile toothily

‘’ Well aren’t you all soft now?’’ she starts to poke my sides and I let out a squeal

‘’ Em! No! Stop! Please!!!’’ I giggle

‘’ Never!’’ she laughs

‘’ If.. you… don’t… no.. loving… for you’’ I manage to breathe out and the tickling stops immediately ‘’ Wow… That worked better than I thought it did’’

‘’ What can I say? I love your eyes, your smile, your curves, your ass, your ti-‘’ I put a hand over her mouth and slightly tapped the arm she had resting on my legs

‘’ You are really horny aren’t you?’’ I giggle

‘’ Maybe’’ she blushes

Suddenly the bells goes off

‘’ Well keep it in your pants till later’’ I jump off her and help her up 

She pulls me in close and kisses me tenderly as I let my arms fall on her shoulders. 

‘’ Gosh, I’ve missed this’’ she sighs softly

‘’ Me too…’’

‘’ I’ll come pick you up after class ok? Did you drive here?’’

‘’ No. Spencer drove me’’

‘’ Okay so I’ll use your car then’’ She kisses my forehead before nodding behind me ‘’ Looks like they’re waiting for us’’ I turn my head around still locked in our embrace 

‘’ Walk me to class?’’ 

‘’ Yeah sure’’ She nods

We walk towards the others hand in hand. It just feels so right, her being here, her being with me. This moment. 

When we reach the classroom after having dropped off Caleb at his, the others all walk in as Emily gives me quick goodbye kiss.

‘’ I love you’’ I murmur

‘’ I love you too’’ she kisses me once again and watches as I settle in my seat before turning away going home I guess.

That girl will never cease to amaze me… I swear she’s full of surprises…

——————————————————————————————————

Emily’s POV

I wait patiently leaning on the front of the car as I hear the bell, signalling the end of class, ringing.

As a rush oh students start to flood out I keep my eyes open for Ali. When she spots me she immediately runs over the girls trailing behind. 

‘’ Hey Hot Stuff!’’ She grins at me

‘’ Hi Babe’’ I peck her slightly on the lips ‘’ Hey girls’’ I tell our friends. Ali turns so that she’s standing between my legs as I wrap my arms around her waist. It’s weird I swear I use to reach around her more… As she put on weight??? I don’t say anything cause I know that’ll just get me in trouble

‘’ I’m guessing you two have plans already’’ Spencer winks

‘’ Yup!’’ Alison says excitedly

‘’ Well we’ll leave you to it then… After the show at lunch, I don’t want to see anymore’’ Aria mutters

‘’ But… I want to be with Em too!!!’’ Hanna whinges 

‘’ We’ll spend all Saturday together, Han! All five of us.’’ Em promises

‘’ You sure?’’

‘’ Yes, I swear on my life. I even swear on Ali’s life!’’

‘’ What? You’d put me in danger?’’ I recoil from her jokingly

‘’ Ok now I know you’re serious’’ Hanna laughs 

‘’I’m not putting you in danger. I’m keeping this promise.’’ I feel a twinge of what felt like resentment mixed with pain in my heart as she said that. Promise. She’s promised me she’d be there but she left. And that hurt like a bitch

‘’ I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, then.’’ The girls waves us goodbye and we wave back.

Emily spins me around resting her hands on my waist

‘’ You okay, Ali? Penny for your thoughts?’’

‘’ I’m fine’’ I half-lie ‘’ I’m just thinking why are we still standing here when I’d rather do something much more interesting ‘’ I wink biting my lip

‘’ No need to tell me twice!’’ she opens the car door for me and then slides into the driver’s seat. As she drives I grab her hand and I see her glance at me a huge smile spreading across her face.

SMUT! EXPLICIT CONTENT! 

The second we’re home, we rush to her room. She drops her bag next to her desk and I stand in front of the closed door. 

She runs up to me, her legs instinctively wrapping around my waist as she jumps. I turn and put her back against the door and use my hands to support her butt… I swear it’s gotten bigger, I mean not that I mind but I am bit confused… Never mind now is not the time for this Emily! I focus on the beauty in front of me and we kiss with lust and love. She struggles to pull my shirt off and then hers.

‘’ B-b-bed’’ she stutters

Without breaking contact, I lay her on the bed climbing on top of her. I reach underneath her and unhook her bra revealing her gorgeous breasts. I sit on her stomach as I unhook mine whilst admiring the sight underneath me.

‘’ Gosh, you’re beautiful’’ I say before leaning back in and kissing from her lips to her jawline to her neck to her collarbone to her right nipple that I start gently teasing and biting. 

‘’ Shit Em…’’ I grin as I start to give her over breast the same attention whilst undoing her pants

‘’ Faster’’ she ushers me fumbling to undo my own jeans. I quickly do as told and remove her trousers and panties in one as well as my own

Her pussy is glistening ‘’ Shit Ali… you’re so wet!’’

‘’Only for you baby’’ she smirks at me

We start kissing again as our breast rub against each other and I push my knee into her dripping centre 

‘’ Fuck! Em!’’ she curses   
I go back to tugging at one of her nipples with my teeth whilst I knead the other. I let my other hand slowly and smoothly trail down her stomach to her vagina. I cup it and allow one finger to slide in to her slit, just feeling her wetness and spreading it across her lips

‘’ Em… Stop teasing’’ 

I flick her clit and start to rub it in circular motions. I go back to kissing her mouth and lightly bite her bottom lip causing her to release a moan in my mouth

‘’ Damn… That’s so hot’’ I say in between breaths. Without warning I enter two fingers into her and start pumping in and out gently. I feel her nails scratching on my back and her screams of pleasure encourage me to quicken the pace. 

‘’ Oh! Shit! EM!’’

She’s turning me on so much right now I can feel my juices dripping down my thigh. I remove my fingers and place our pussies against each other and grind my hips against hers letting the friction between our pussies take over.

‘’ Fuck Ali…’’ She grabs my breasts and toys with them. Kneading them. Grabbing them. Pulling at them. Fuck that feels so good

As the friction increases and our clits make more and more contact I feel myself about to explode. I place us in a 69 position and neither of us waste anytime eating each other out

‘’ Ali! I’m gonna cum!’’ I muster

‘’ Shit! Me too’’ she answers as I dive my tongue back into her and play with her clit

‘’ EM! SHIT!!! EMILYYYY!!!’’ I feel her explode on my tongue and that sends me over the edge too.

‘’ ALI!!! FUCK!’’ 

Once I’ve come down from my high, I lick her clean and then lay beside her. Staring at the beautiful mess I made her in to. 

SMUT OVER

‘’ Damn…’’ she laughs

‘’ Yeah. Damn…’’ I laugh with her as she rests her head on my heaving chest and I wrap my arm around her

‘’ Baby?’’ 

‘’ Yeah?’’

‘’ I love you’’

I let out a light chuckle before answering ‘’ I love you too’’ and kissing the very top of her head.

She has no idea how much I love her and I swear one day I’ll find a way to show her the way she deserves. Because she’s my all.


	43. Happy Valentines

*Saturday evening*

Alison’s POV

We’re all on my couch watching ‘’ The Notebook’’. I haven't seen it in ages… I forgot how sad it was, I try to stifle a snob as Allie’s mum wipes her tears away after seeing her own summer love. 

‘’ Awww… Ali’s crying!’’ Jason laughs.

Right, yeah… Jason is here because Aria is. He’s the only guy here, cause this was meant to be a girls day but then Aria insisted that her boyfriend stay after all ‘’ It’s as much his house as yours’’ she’d said and I’d conceded

‘’ Shut up! It’s sad! She gave up her true love!’’ Aria slaps his chest repeatedly

‘’ OK! OK!’’ he protests putting his hands up ‘’ I’m sorry, baby’’ she stops and they look into each others eyes. I look away, I already know what’s gonna happen. I don’t want to see it.

‘’ Babe… You’ve seen this film so many times before why are you crying you know it has a happy ending’’ Emily rubs my arm in comfort

‘’ I know but still… Imagine giving up the person you love to make others happy, because they don’t approve’’ I sniff a little 

‘’ Unfortunately, babe, people all across the world have to suffer that. Even in our own country.’’

‘’ I know but-‘’

‘’ Can you guys shut up? We’re trying to watch the movie here!’’ Hanna says her voice cracking as Noah And Allie argue.

‘’ Sorry’’ Emily apologises before whispering to me and pulling me closer to her side ‘’ I won’t ever give you up’’ she kisses the top of my head, I slightly turn and offer her a small smile

 

About 15 minutes later, we watched in tears as the end credits rolled on screen. I turn to see my brother trying to hold back his tears

‘’ Awwwww… Jay’s crying’’ I mock him

‘’ What?! No, I’m not! You’re crying!’’ he says dragging his sleeve across his eyes to try and get rid of any evidence.

‘’ I know I am… I’m not trying to deny it’’ I answer

‘’ Hey! Leave him alone!’’ Aria tells me ‘’ I think it’s cute that he’s such a romantic’’ she turns in his arm and gives a small peck on his lips

‘’ Ugh! This is exactly why we didn’t want any couple stuff tonight!’’ Spencer protests ‘’ Sorry, Jason but as much as you may be my half-brother I am not cool with you crashing girls night!’’

‘’ Agreed!’’ Hanna exclaims

‘’ Yeah sorry… Our sister’s got a point. Scoot’’ I shoo him with my hands

‘’ But Em’s dating Ali too so she should leave too?’’ Aria protest and at the scowl we give her she realises what she’s just said ‘’ Right. Never mind. Bye sweetheart. Love you’’

I choke on the water I had just started sipping on. WHAAATTT LOVE????

‘’ Love you too baby.’’ He kisses her and goes upstairs

We stare at her incredulously

‘’ Love?’’ Emily is the first to ask

‘’ What? Oh my god… I forgot you guys were here!’’ she blushes

‘’ That’s not what matters! You guys love each other and you didn’t tell us!’’ Hanna throws a cushion at Aria

‘’ Since when?’’ I manage to ask

I see her swallow before answering shyly, her hands wrung together ‘’ New Years party at Noels…’’

‘’ So you’ve kept this from us for over a month???’’ Spencer gasps incredulous

‘’ I’m sorry okay! I didn’t think Ali would need to know the details of my relationship with her brother and it would’ve been unfair had I told you and not her and I we’d decided it’d be best to keep it to ourselves and w-‘’

‘’ Ok now that’s is complete bullshit Aria! How many fucking times do I have to repeat I’m fine with you talking about Jason?! Stops being so fucking compassionate one second and realise I don't fucking care!’’ I yell

‘’ Alison… Calm down’’ Emily rubs my back soothingly

I just feel so exasperated that Aria feels like I’m still who I used to be.

‘’ I’m sorry, Aria. I didn’t mean to yell at you’’ I sigh heavily and move towards her sitting where Jason used to be and grab her hands in mine ‘’ I’m not who I used to be. I’m not mad or annoyed or anything negative. Jason is my brother and I care about him. You’re my best friend and I love you and care about you like a little sister, okay? I want you to talk about your relationship like it was any other. I don't want you to feel like you can’t be honest or say how happy, in love or whatever you are, okay?’’

‘’ okay’’ she nods shyly

‘’ Good! Now that that’s sorted. Tell us everything you haven’t’’

The night goes on with Aria telling us about everything from the moment we caught them after our sleepover to now. The kiss, the dates, the arguments, and even their first time together. Which surprisingly I wasn’t as grossed out as I expected to be.

When we finally go up to my room to sleep the girls insist that Em and I do not sleep in the same bed in fear that they’re gonna wake up to some freaky show.

‘’ Fine.’’ Em grumbles ‘’ I’ll sleep on the floor with Han. But you guys should know that Ali and I had sex in that bed numerous times last night and this morning’’ she smirks

‘’ Ew! No!’’ Aria fake gags

‘’ Didn’t your parents set rules???’’ Spencer says with disgust written all over her face

‘’ Yeah but dad payed them a weekend away for Valentine’s weekend’’ Ali answers ‘’ And I changed the sheets guys… Don’t worry’’

‘’ Babe! Why’d you tell them?’’ Em whines

‘’ Sorry… Trying this new thing, being kind and honest’’ I laugh

‘’ Well this isn’t kind to me…’’ she grumbles turning away from me and starting to prepare her bed on the floor

I walk up from behind as she stands straight again I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her shoulder blade. She shivers slightly and I smile at still having this effect on her ‘’ Sorry sweetie. I love you’’

She puts her hands on my arms and rests her head against mine ‘’ It’s fine. Hanna’s probably a better little spoon anyways’’

I push her away from me and she spins around and high fives Hanna, who joins her at her side. ‘’ Well in that case I’m glad you’re on the floor tonight’’ I fake offence

‘’ Good.’’ she says bluntly

‘’ Good.’’

‘’ Fine.’’ 

‘’ Fine!’’

(A/N If you know where this is from, I love you!)

‘’ Love you babe!’’ Em says as she lies next to Hanna on the floor

‘’ Uh huh! Love you too’’ I laugh. I then turn to the other two brunettes ‘’ So which is is sharing with me?’’ 

‘’ Spencer!’’ Aria exclaims. We both rain our eyebrows at her ‘’ Um… I’m gonna crash with Jason…’’ she looks down 

‘’ Please… No Jaria sex, we don’t want to hear that!’’ Hanna whinges 

‘’ I promise. I just want to wake up in his arms on Valentine’s day’’

‘’ But it’s girls sleepover night?’’ Ali complains

‘’ Yeah but to be honest Ali, we’re all going to fall asleep. I mean it’s almost 1 AM already and we’re all knackered.’’ Spencer explains

‘’ She’s got a point Ali. I mean Han, here, is already starting to hold on to me like a baby which means that in two minutes she’s out’’ Em observes

Hanna tries to fight off a yawn as she mumbles ‘’ Hey, that’s not true….’’ and then buries her head in Em’s chest

‘’ Um Hanna… Only I get to do that’’ I shoot at her

‘’ But… It’s so comfy and nice’’

‘’ Hanna. Head out of Em’s boobs now!’’

‘’ Fine fine! No need to yell!’’ she turns around in Emily’s arm so that her back faces Em’s front

‘’ Ok. I guess your girls are right. I mean we all have plans anyways tomorrow so I’m guessing no one is going to be staying here too late in the morning’’

‘’ Exactly. So I can go?’’

‘’ Yes but please no weird sounds’’ I plead

She holds out her pinky ‘’Promise’’ I intertwine mine with hers and release it giggling like 12 year olds

‘’ Thanks! Goodnight girls!’’ Aria skips out the room

‘’ Well I guess Spencer you have the privilege of sharing my bed’’ I smile at her

‘’ You really changed the sheets right?’’ she questions hesitant

I laugh ‘’ Of course. Don’t worry’’ 

She climbs in and I turn off the lights before joining her. We all say goodnight and soon enough I find myself falling into a deep slumber.

——————————————————————————————————

*Valentine’s Day*

I wake up to the sound of a door closing somewhere in the house. I slowly rub the sleep out of my eyes as I sit up ‘’ Girls… I think it’s time to wake up’’ I say absentmindedly reaching for my alarm 

12!!! WHAT THE FUCK!

‘’ SHIT!’’ I look around and all of a sudden realise there is no one but me in the room ‘’ What the hell?’’

I get up from my bed and throw a sweat over my top. I mean it’s fucking February… It’s freezing!

I gasp when I open the door of my bedroom seeing a single red rose lying in front of it. ‘’ Emily?’’ I shout through out the house only to be met by nothing. I step out and see roses all a few steps from one another. ‘’ What a cheesy romantic…’’ I sigh happily 

One by one, I lean down and pick up the roses, going down the stairs through the living room and finally into the kitchen. The table had been fully set with juice, toast, fruits and more. But the best bit was definitely the idiot that was smiling at me from behind the counter.

‘’ Hello my Valentine’’ 

‘’ Well hello to you too Hot Stuff!’’ I answer walking towards her. She cups my face and smashes our lips together, our tongues find each other immediately and I put everything in me into the kiss. I bite her lip slightly and jump up on the counter behind me and wrap my legs around her waist pulling her closer my hands holding onto her sides as hers wrapped around my neck. I move my head slightly to the side as she starts kissing down from my jawline to my neck causing me to let out a moan. 

‘’ You’re gonna leave a hickey’’ I heave as she keeps sucking and licking my neck

‘’ Good’’ I feel her smirk against my skin and I bring her lips back up to mine

*beep beep beep*

‘’ Fuck!’’ Em suddenly pulls away and runs to a pan and starts cursing some more

‘’ What’s wrong?’’ 

‘’ I kinda burned the bacon’’ she grimaces

‘’ Haha! Well done!’’

‘’ Hey it’s your fault!’’ she complains

‘’ How is it my fault?!’’

‘’ If you weren't so damn irresistible then I wouldn't have gotten so distracted!’’ 

‘’ Good save’’ I chuckle

She brings the pan to the table and puts the slight burnt bacon in our plates.

‘’ Bon Appétit, ma chérie!’’ Em says in a cute little accent 

‘’ Merci, toi aussi!’’ I smile

We dive into our food and I can’t help but moan when I taste her potato omelette with thyme. 

‘’ Um… Babe? I don’t know if I should be offended or complimented by that?’’

‘’ Definitely a compliment. I’ve missed your cooking’’ I delight shoving another piece in my mouth

‘’ Clearly’’ 

We eat in comfortable silence, playing footsies under the table. Every time my foot goes a little too high, Em blushes and squirms in her seat. It’s so adorable that she still get nervous around me.

‘’ So what now?’’ I ask Emily

‘’ Well, it’s only 1. It’s a nice day out even if it’s a little cold. What’d you say about a bike ride?’’ she offers

‘’ I’d like that.’’

——————————————————————————————————

‘’ Where are you taking me?’’ I huff as we cycle up the road on the hill outside of rosewood

‘’ We’re almost there’’ She yells back at me

A few minutes later I see her turn into what seems like a small dirt road  
‘’ Hell no! I am not going in there’’ I say pulling my bike to a stop 

‘’ Come on trust me, it’s only 2 minutes ride away! I promise it’s worth it!’’ she tries to coerce me

‘’ Fine but only because I love you’’ I mope

‘’ Yay!’’ She starts cycling again 

When we arrive at a small clearing that overlooks the town she jumps off her bike, setting it against the tree. I do the same as her and go meet her near the barrier stoping us to approach the drop. I turn my face and just admire her.

Her forearms rest on top of the barrier and one of her feet propped up on one of the middle bars. Her hair cascades beautifully down her shoulders sort of hiding part of her face from me. She’s looking at the town below a smile on her lips. Her black jeans hug toned legs perfectly and I must say her butt looks pretty damn fine in that too.

 

‘’ Quit staring’’ 

‘’ Sorry, I can’t help it. I mean have you seen yourself?’’

She looks at me turning sideways and pulls me closer to her. ‘’ You’re too cute for your own good. Did you know that?’’ 

‘’ Mmmm… maybe’’ I let out a light laugh and lick my lips as I stare between hers and her eyes

‘’ If you’re not gonna do it, I will’’ she warns

I still don’t move, just admiring her every feature. Her brown eyes that in the winter sun seem to have sparks of caramel, her nose is a little pink from the cold. 

‘’ In that case’’ she interrupts my thoughts meeting our lips together in fiery passion. Her hands find their way to small of my back and mine cup her cheeks. 

We pull away and I keep my eyes close as our noses touch. Just wanting to enjoy it. ‘’ Ali?’’

I open my eyes to see hers carefully observing me ‘’ Yeah?’’ I whisper 

‘’ I’m sorry’’

‘’ Why?’’

‘’ For breaking my promise’’  
‘’ It’s okay… I forgive you’’

‘’ I want you to know that wherever we are, you’ll always be here’’ she grabs my hands and puts it against her chest, holding it in place

‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields’’ I smile a tear rolling down my cheek. She wipes it away with her thumb, her other hand still over mine on her heart

‘’ I love you too Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’ she pecks me lightly on the lips. I turn around so that my back is against her front an she holds on to me tight as we look down on Ro


	44. Under Construction

*4 days later*  
Emily’s POV

I’m sitting on Ali’s bed right now waiting for her to get dressed. I’ve been waiting for the past half hour. Seriously what is taking her so long!

‘’ Babe! Come on! We’re gonna be late to the grill!’’ I glance at my watch to see it’s already 12:15. We’re meant to be there in 15 minutes. She doesn’t answer me the house goes eerily quiet ‘’ Ali?’’ I call out. Still nothing. Ok now I’m a little worried. I jump off the bed and walk to the bathroom door. 

‘’ Alison?’’ I knock ‘’ Can I come in?’’

‘’ N-no. I-I’ll be o-out in a sec.’’ her voice croaks

‘’ Ali, Princess, you okay?’’ 

She opens the door, revealing herself in only a bra and jeans. I notice her eyes are red and her bottom lip is quivering. I bring her close to me and hug her protectively

‘’ Ali… What’s wrong?’’ I ask making my voice as soft as possible

‘’ I’m fat.’’

I pull away as concern and incredulity take over and I peer into her ocean blue eyes as if searching for confirmation. ‘’ What did you say?’’ I probably misheard her

‘’ I’m fat.’’

‘’ Ok no, seriously, Ali. What is wrong?’’

‘’ I’m fucking fat Emily! Look at me!’’ she pushes me away and stands in front of her sink staring at herself in the mirror

‘’ You’re not fat, Princess…’’ I come up behind her and place my hands or her waist I stare at her eyes in the reflection ‘’Where is all this coming from?’’ I wonder kissing her cheek

‘’ My t-shirt looks like a crop top now…’’ she sobs looking down at the white t-shirt on the counter 

‘’ Hey that doesn't mean your fat… It just means you’ve put on some weight.’’ I try to soothe her

‘’ How is that any better Emily?’’ She yells at me turning herself to look at me dead in the eyes. I gulp a little at the look of anger in her eyes but when I look deeper I see hurt and disappointment

‘’ Ali, you are beautiful… So what you’ve gained a few, I still love you’’

‘’ So you’re saying I’ve gotten fatter?’’

‘’ What? No! It’s just- I mean- I’m still here aren’t I? Even when I saw you’d put weight on’’ Her eyes open wide alarmingly. Shit. I probably should not have said that

‘’ You saw I’d put on weight and you didn’t say anything?’’ she pokes my chest furiously

‘’ Well I wasn’t sure… I mean I thought I just hadn't remembered you as well as I thought’’ I answer staring at her boobs, I mean she’s still in her bra of course that’s where I’m gonna look

She follows the line of my eyes down to her chest and drops her jaw‘’ You realised when we were having sex?’’ she assumes

‘’ No, I mean, yes, sort of. But I don’t care! For fucks sake! I don't care Ali! You still look fucking amazing! I still love you and I always will!’’

‘’ I can’t believe you didn’t say anything…’’ she whispers walking past me and back into her room

I follow her and watch her from her desk as she tries to find another shirt ‘’ Well would you’ve liked me to go ‘Wait Ali before I go down on you have you put on some weight?’ I mean I’m pretty sure that’s a mood killer. ‘’ I try to laugh a little at the end

‘’ I guess… But you could’ve said something at another time’’ She pouts facing me again after having found a shirt that seems to fit although seems tighter than when she used to wear it

‘’ I’m sorry, babe… I’m promise that next time I will. It’s just I noticed you aren’t eating more than before and your habits haven’t changed so I thought it was probably just me’’

‘’ Wait hang on… I’ve actually been eating less. I’m on this new diet Hanna wanted to try and I promised to do it with her.’’ She quirks her eyebrow ‘’ Hanna lost weight though…’’

‘’ Um… Why is Hanna feeling the need to diet?’’ I wonder a little accusingly I’ll admit

‘’ No. Don’t even got there, Fields. I have not made one remark about Hanna’s weight since, well, since the day I disappeared.’’ she says sternly

‘’ Ok, ok…’’ I throw my hands up in the air. I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her waist ‘’ I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed that.’’ I peck her nose that she scrunches up. She rests her hands on my chest and stares at me ‘’ Ali… If you’ve been eating right and exercising like you usually do then there’s no reason for you to put on weight’’ 

‘’ Ok, well then now that’s worrying’’ she grimaces

‘’ Ok how about we book a doctor’s appointment? For all you know, it’s just puberty and adolescence playing tricks on you’’ I offer

‘’ Ok. I guess an appointment couldn’t hurt’’ she shrugs and buries her head in my chest. I pull her closer to me and stroke her hair whilst my other hand stays on the small of her back. ‘’ Thank you Killer for being there for me’’

‘’ Always’’

‘’ And forever’’

I smile a little as I slightly peck the top of her head

——————————————————————————————————

* 2 days later: 20/02/2016*

Alison’s POV

‘’ Alison, Mrs DiLaurentis, thank you for coming back so soon. We have the results for your blood test’’

Right. I should’ve mentioned because the doctor couldn't figure out just from what I was saying what was up with me, I had to take blood tests. I fucking hate needles, so that wasn't fun. And now, my mum and I are sitting in his office again, waiting to hear why the fuck I’ve put on weight, whilst Em waits outside

‘’ So, it seems you have an endocrine disease.’’ A disease? No no no… This can’t be happening. Seeing the colour drain from my face, the doctor quickly continues ‘’Which isn’t as terrifying as it sounds.’’ I feel Mum grab my hand reassuringly besides me ‘’All it means is that you have a bad hormone imbalance which is what is throwing your body out of whack, as they say. Now, there are some synthetic treatments such as hormone replacement therapy but there are some down sides and given your age I think I’ll give you a list of ways you can naturally balance your hormones’’ I kinda stop listening as he gives advice, my mum jotting down everything he says. 

——————————————————————————————————

*10 minutes later*

‘’ So?’’ Emily asks coming up to me the second my mum and I step out of the doctor’s office

‘’ So it turns out I have a hormone imbalance, that’s why I’m getting fat, why I have mood swings and many more fun things about me…’’ I sigh depressed

‘’ Ok, and how can I help?’’ I hear my mum chuckle at Em’s comment and I can’t help but giggle a little myself. Always one to want to help. She holds the door open for us as we walk out onto the street and get into the car.

‘’ Well not much really. My mum’s took the doctors advice for natural ways to balance them, so I guess I just need to follow those’’

‘’ Exactly. So no more coffee dates for you two!’’ My mum informs as she starts the car

‘’ Wait?! What??? I didn’t hear no coffee!’’ I protest

‘’ Sorry, but he said to limit the caffeine so that also means a few fizzy drinks…’’

‘’ No! Whyyyyyy?’’ I cry out

‘’ Hey, it’s fine. You can still drink tea and juice and water!’’ Em tries to comfort me 

‘’ Great… Anything else I should know Mum?’’ I ask grabbing Emily’s hand, she starts to draw circles on the back of my hand with her thumb soothingly

‘’ Weren’t you listening?’’ 

I shake my head and mutter a small ‘’No’’

She huffs before continuing ‘’ Well you need to start doing more exercise’’

‘’ But I go for a run once a week’’ I retort, Em laughs a little next to me and I elbow her slightly

‘’ That’s nice but it’s not enough, dear. You'd need to do 20 minutes, three times week to release a bunch of hormones and her get rid of some stress’’

‘’ Ugh… Fine. Problem is what exercising can I do?’’

‘’ Swimming?’’ Em smiles excitedly

‘’ Thanks for the offer, but I think I’m going to leave that to you, Mermaid.’’ I laugh as I turn my head her way

‘’ Well you can go running? Or you can take up soccer?’’ my mum offers

‘’ Soccer? Ali?’’ Em mocks

‘’ Hey! I used to play when I was a kid. I was quite good.’’

‘’ Why’d you stop?’’ I glance at my mother in the driver’s seat and I see her twitch a little

‘’ Other things started to seem more important’’ I half-lie. The truth is my mum made me quit. She said it’s cute when I was a child but now I needed to settle my reputation as the Queen of Rosewood so I had to quit all things that were physical and work on affirming my authority. ‘’ But I don’t know if I’d be up to playing soccer. I might just go running.’’

‘’ Well we’ll see but either way you have to do it’’

‘’ Yeah, I guess so’’ 

We pull up in the driveway and go inside the house. Just as I start to climb the stairs with Emily in tow, my mum stops us 

‘’ Um… Actually, Ali there is one more thing you need to do to help your hormones rebalance.’’

‘’ What is it?’’ I say from the middle of the stairs

‘’ Emily, would you mind going upstairs please?’’

‘’ Mum, it’s fine whatever you want to tell me you can say in front of Em’’

‘’ Are you sure?’’ 

‘’ Yes. Now what is it?’’

‘’ Fine. Um… You have to stop using your birth control pills’’ And my face drops and shit. I didn’t think she was going to say that and cue the argument

‘’ Birth control?’’ Em mutters under her breath in shock behind me  
‘’ Well I’m going to go make lunch’’ My mum announces backing away to the kitchen as I hear Emily climb the rest of the stairs behind me

‘’ Emily! Wait!’’ I say catching up to her as she enters my bedroom

‘’ Seriously Alison?! Birth control?!’’ she shrieks

‘’ It’s not important it’s just I’ve been taking them ever since I was 14 and it’s sorta of natural for me to take them.’’

‘’ Do you not realise that is physically impossible to have a kid with me???’’ 

‘’ Of course but it’s just a habit Em! I don’t think twice when I take them in the morning! It’s automatic! You’ve got nothing to worry about!’’ I try to reason

‘’ Why didn’t you tell me?’’ she says looking at me from the window as I remain by the door

‘’ I didn’t think it had any importance and I didn’t even think about it. Period. I know I should’ve stopped them the moment we started dating but it just didn’t occur to me.’’ I move to her and wrap my arms around her waist. ‘’ I’m sorry, baby. I love you’’ I whisper against her chest

‘’ No, I should be apologising. I shouldn't have blown up. I’m sorry. I love you too.’’

We stay like this for a while until she picks my head up and says  
‘’ Hey don’t cry. It’s not a big deal’’ I hadn't even noticed I was crying

‘’ I’m fat, Emily. I’m ill. Some thing is physically wrong with me. My clothes don’t fit me and I feel like shit.’’ I slump into her arms 

‘’ Hey don’t say that! You aren’t fat, you’re beautiful and if anything your curves just make you sexier’’ she smirks ‘’ I’m here for you Princess, always will be. And nothing is wrong with you, okay? So what you have a small health problem? That doesn’t mean you’re any less incredibly perfect than what you were before’’ she kisses the top of my head and unwraps my arms from around her ‘’ Wait here’’ she pecks my lips

I see her go to the bass on my desk and scroll through her phone before pressing play 

(A/N: Listen to Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars instead if you wish)

As soon as the music starts, I break out a little smile.

''Ohhhhh ohhhhhh ohhhhhh ohhhhhhh''

Emily turns around and picks up one of my hairbrushes using as it microphone as she lip-syncs.

''Oh, her eyes, her eyes  
Make the stars look like they're not shinin’''

She lifts her arm up slowly, her hand open wide and clenches her fist, closing her eyes. Gosh she looks like such an idiot.

''Her hair, her hair  
Falls perfectly without her trying  
She's so beautiful  
And I tell her everyday  
Yeah

I know, I know  
When I compliment her she won't believe me''

She wiggles her finger. Her arm extended in front of her. 

''And it's so, it's so  
Sad to think that she don't see what I see  
But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?"  
I say,''

She sets the brush down and walks to me as the chorus starts, she keeps lip-syncing, dancing cheesily and badly on purpose. I know she’s a good dancer so it’s clear she’s just dancing like that to make me smile. And it’s working

''When I see your face (face, face...)  
There's not a thing that I would change  
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are)''

She makes me spin and twirl in her arms as I just laugh at her silliness. 

''And when you smile (smile, smile...)  
The whole world stops and stares for a while  
'Cause, girl, you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are).  
Yeah''

She twirls me in her arms and I land against her chest. We just stay there, stuck in each other’s embrace. Staring into one another’s eyes.

 

''Her lips, her lips  
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me''

She looks back and forth between my eyes and my lips. Her hands resting on the small of my back and my arms resting on her shoulders.

''Her laugh, her laugh  
She hates but I think it's so sexy''

She notices me looking and a small blush creeps across her tanned cheeks.. It’s cute she still gets nervous. She’s adorable.

''She's so beautiful  
And I tell her everyday,''

I lean and capture her lips in mine. She immediately kisses me back and our tongues waltz together. Our every movement in sync and perfect harmony.

''Oh you know, you know, you know  
I'd never ask you to change  
If perfect's what you're searching for  
Then just stay the same  
So don't even bother asking if you look okay  
You know I'll say,''

Her hands find their way under my shirt and rest just above my hip bone, sending my nerves into a frenzy. My skin burns up under the warmth she naturally radiates and I can’t help but let a smile cover my face as we keep kissing.

''When I see your face (face, face...)  
There's not a thing that I would change  
'Cause you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are)  
And when you smile (smile, smile...)  
The whole world stops and stares for a while  
'Cause, girl, you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are)

The way you are  
The way you are''

We finally pull away breathless from the lack of air and the moment we just shared. We sway from side to side as she sings along, our noses touching and our foreheads leaning against one another.

''Girl, you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are)''

Her sweet breath tickles my lips and I can smell the mango and passionfruit juice from earlier. I do my best to take in as much of her as I can, basking in this moment I wish could be eternal.

''When I see your face  
There's not a thing that I would change''

Letting her voice fill my ears and words pierce my heart.

'' 'Cause you're amazing (amazing)  
Just the way you are (are)''

Allowing her warmth and comfort to take over.

 

''And when you smile  
The whole world stops and stares for a while''

 

Allowing her love to take control of me and allowing myself to love her freely.

 

'' 'Cause, girl, you're amazing  
Just the way you are

Yeah''

 

As the song stops, we just stay stand there. I rest my head against her chest, listening to her heart beat for me the same mine does for her.

‘’ Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, you are perfect. I don’t ever want to hear you saying negative things about yourself. You’ve done what most people only dream of doing. You’ve turned your life, your whole word, upside down, for the better. You’ve grown into the person your heart always was. You are physically flawless and this hormone thing doesn’t change that. To me, you are still the hottest, sexiest, most gorgeous and most beautiful woman to have walked this earth’’

‘’ Well then that’s all that matters.’’ I grin as I pull her into yet another mind-blowing kiss.

‘’ I love you Emily’’

‘’ I love you too Alison. And don’t ever forget that, even when we fight or when things don’t seem right between us. I will only ever love you as much as I do’’


	45. I Need a Girlfriend

*The same day: 20/02/2016*  
Alison’s POV

After lunch, we all thought bowling would be fun so we headed to the only bowling alley in Rosewood. To be honest, this is such a small town, I’m surprised we even have one.

‘’ Hey Noel!’’ I go and sit next to my best friend as we tie our bowling shoes

‘’ Hey Al’’ he grins at me ‘’ What’s up?’’

‘’ Nothing, just wanted to spend time with you. I’ve been with Em 24/7 and as much as I love her I miss talking to you and I need to breathe too’’

‘’ Ah, so I’m you’re getaway’’ he raises his eyebrow

‘’ Well yes but no because I do actually want to spend time with you and talk to you’’ I admit

‘’ Fine. What do you want to talk about?’’  
I hesitate ‘’ Um… Well how is it going with the whole Baby Face situation?’’ We decided to refer to her as that to make it less obvious not that I think it does but yeah

‘’ Honestly?’’ he looks at me questioningly and I just nod ‘’ Well, I’m moving on. I’m getting there. She’s been happy with Jason for like what 2 months? 3 months now? And I sorta accept that now. After all the shit, they’ve been through, I’m happy they’ve found in each other a reason to be happy.’’ He finishes hanging his head

‘’ Holy shit!’’ I gasp

‘’ What?’’ Noel’s face shows worry

‘’ You’re human!’’ I squeeze him in a tight side hug as he chuckles ‘’ You’ve become one of the good guys! I’m so proud!’’ I wipe away fake tears and he playfully pushes us apart

‘’ Haha! Very funny…’’

‘’ I’m sorry… But so you’re fine? Like you’re over her?’’

‘’ No, I don’t think I’ll ever get over her. But I am fine and I’ve accepted that I need to move on and that’s exactly what I’m going to do from now on.’’

‘’ Well I’m glad you’ve somewhat found your peace with this Noel.’’ I smile at him and rest my head on his shoulder, linking our arms as the others start to bowl

 

Elliot’s POV

I’m feeling really uncomfortable. I mean, here I am, surrounded by incredible people who are all so happy to be reunited with their own again, leaving me feeling a little left out. I understand of course. From the way everyone always speaks so highly of Emily I can tell she’s had a important impact on all of their lives. Alison’s especially. But for some reason, I feel a little on the edge when she’s around. Almost like she dislikes me, like a lot. And I know it probably has to do with Alison. And I know I’ve got no one else but myself to blame for that. But I can’t help it. Alison has a way of just lightening up the room, when she walks in, she’s got this aura about her that makes you want to know her and makes you want her to notice you. I like Alison DiLaurentis. And it sucks arse. Because as much as I feel guilty for all these emotions I can’t suppress them.

I watch her as she celebrates a spare and kisses Emily, wrapping her arms around her neck. I look down at my hands, my thumbs twiddling about. I don’t want to come in between that. I mean it’s clearly something incredibly special and there’s no way I could ever be to her what Emily is. I know that. Now, I just need to find a way to get past that.

 

I feel a slight tap on my shoulder to see Emily standing in front of me, a drink in hand. 

‘’ Here ‘’ she hands it to me and sits beside me. I gulp and maybe a little too loud because she chuckles next to me. ‘’ Relax. I don’t bite’’

‘’ Sorry’’

‘’ Don’t be. I’ve given you every reason to make you uneasy. It’s my fault, really’’ she admits looking ahead at our friends ‘’ Listen, from what I hear, you are a really nice guy and I shouldn't be giving you a tough time. I mean, I guess you know why I am?’’

‘’ Alison’’ is all I answer

‘’ Bingo’’ she says turning her head my way ‘’ And maybe I have right to worry or maybe I don’t. All I know is the way she can sweep people off her feet and how when someone breaks a promise to her she loses some of the trust she had placed in them’’ she hangs her head and I finally look at her 

‘’ I heard about that…’’ I confess

‘’ You did?’’ her head snaps up looking at me 

‘’ I mean at first Noel told me cause you know I was curious as to why she’d be in a relationship with someone thousands of miles away. But I didn’t say anything to her. She came to me. She’d just hung up from one of her calls with you and she was really down about it and she just burst into tears in front of me.’’

‘’ I had no idea it affected her that bad… I’m such an idiot’’ she mutters

‘’ Emily, you should know Ali doesn’t blame you at all for this. She knows she can’t make you chose between her and your family and she knows this is temporary. It’s just for obvious reasons not that easy.’’ I try to reassure her

‘’ I wish I could just be there for her. Give her my all like it was before’’

‘’ Don’t worry about it, honestly. In her opinion, you’re still on a extremely high pedestal’’ I smile at her

‘’ Thank you, Elliot’’ she pauses and looks at me ‘’ You’re a nice guy. Even if you do have a major crush on my girlfriend.’’ I was about to protest but she clamped her hand down on my mouth ‘’ Don’t deny it. I’m not an idiot.’’ she chuckles at my shocked expression ‘’And I don’t blame you, just as long as it doesn’t get out of hand enough for me to have to do something about it’’ she removes her hand ‘’As you can tell, I’m very protective of Ali.’’ 

‘’ So I understood, Killer’’ I laugh lightly 

‘’ Only I get to call her that’’ we turn around to see Ali hand on hip staring at us both suspiciously 

‘’ She’s right… and occasionally the girls’’ Emily adds facing me again as Ali walks towards us and comes and sits on Emily’s lap

‘’ Sorry, my fault then I guess’’ I put my hands up in surrender

‘’ So what were you two blabbering about?’’ Alison queries

‘’ Well, I behaved for one.’’ Emily announces proudly

‘’ Really?’’

‘’ Yeah, she did. Look. No bruises’’ I turn my arms in front of Alison and we laugh

‘’ So what were you talking about then?’’

‘’ We’re just trying to get to know each other better. I want to get acquainted with our new friend’’ Emily says looking over to me

‘’ Yup’’ I agree

‘’ And how’s that going?’’

‘’ Good. Now if you don’t mind, Princess’’ I internally cringe. ‘’ My new friend and I haven’t finished.’’ she points at me ‘’ So as much as I love you, could you please take your incredible butt elsewhere?’’

I chuckle a little at Alison’s gasp who jumps off of Emily and walks away. Her butt swaying side to side, gosh she’s really good looking.

‘’ Thank you, Babe!’’ Emily calls out ‘’ I love you’’

Ali flips her off and then says back ‘’ I love you too’’

Ouch. That hurts. I know I’ll never have anything like that with her and it sucks big time. I need to find myself another nice american girl. Or I could just wait and go back to England for uni. Either way, I need a girlfriend, asap.

‘’ What you thinking about, there?’’ the brunette besides me nudges me

‘’ I need a girlfriend…’’ I mumble

She laughs and I join in with her. We talk about different things and get to know a little more about each other. And finding out more about her and realising in person that she is indeed kind, caring and loyal makes me feel guiltier by the second for liking her girlfriend.


	46. Truth or Dare?

*the night after the bowling: 20/02/2016*

Emily’s POV

‘’ I’ve missed our sleepovers’’ I voice as we sit in Spencer’s barn

‘’ Yeah they definitely have not been the same without you here’’ Aria assures me 

‘’ True, although we haven't missed the Emison making out scenes’’ Spencer adds

‘’ Well I’ve missed them’’ Alison laughs pulling me into an exaggerated kiss

‘’ EW!’’ Hanna fake barfs as I pull away and shake my head laughing

‘’ You guys are such children! Who’s up for a truth or dare?’’ Aria asks

‘’ Really? We’re the children?’’ Spencer raises her eyebrow throwing a side glance at Aria sitting beside her

‘’ Why not?’’ Hanna agrees ‘’ It could be fun’’

‘’ It always ends badly though!’’ Spencer whines

‘’ Spence, it only ends badly when you're with guys and your crush. It’s just us we’ll be fine’’ Ali retorts

‘’Come on! Don't be such a wimp Spencer!’’ Aria pushes her slightly. Spencer looks at me, her eyes begging for some kind of support

‘’ Nope. Sorry, Spence. But I wanna play too’’ I smile apologetically 

‘’ Fiiiine’’ Spencer drags

‘’ Great! Who starts?’’ Aria asks clapping her hands excitedly in front of her

‘’ I know how we’ll determine’’ Hanna quickly finishes her beer bottle and places in the centre of the circle ‘’ Alright let’s do this!’’ she says as she spins it 

We play a couple rounds that are soft. Nothing too daring or too truthful. The usual ‘’ I dare you to call X and tell them you like them’’, ‘’ Who is your celeb crush?’’…. That kinda 12 year old stuff. It’s getting boring now, to be honest. I think it’s time I spice things up.

‘’ Spencer!’’ We all shout as the bottle lands on her 

‘’ Truth or Dare?’’

‘’ Dare’’ Spencer confirms

‘’ I’ve got one!’’ I say with a little mischievous smirk ‘’ I dare you to kiss the girl you find most attractive in the group, and yes if it’s Ali or me you can’’ I grin at her   
‘’ Woah… What? No! Truth!’’ Spencer tries

‘’ No! You can’t change’’ I point out

‘’ At least another dare?’’ she pouts

‘’ No this was getting boring. We needed this.’’ Hanna joins in with me

‘’ Ugh. Fine’’ Spencer looks at the four of us, when her eyes stop on a brunette. She leans in towards Aria and gives her a small peck on the lips. 

‘’ Boooooo!!!’’ Ali chants ‘’ A real kiss, dammit!’’

‘’ Yeah!’’ I agree

‘’ Is you girls’ sex life not interesting anymore or something?’’ Spencer quips 

‘’ Oh trust me our sex life is plenty interesting! Now kiss her like you mean it!’’ I demand

‘’ Dammit, Em!’’ Spencer rakes a hand through her hair and looks inquisitively at Aria ‘’ You okay with this?’’

Aria gulps a little as she nods. Spencer lets out a long breath before facing Aria. They both close their eyes slowly leaning in. I could feel the tension building up between them from where I was sitting. 

The second their lips touch, Spencer’s hand cups Aria’s face as Aria’s stay put in her lap. We watch on as we see are two best friends making out. Lips and tongues clearly clashing.

I’m no idiot I know them two are curious. I mean always going Team Sparia on every one and shit. I’m sure they wondered what is was like to make out with each other. And clearly they’re enjoying it

‘’ hum hum!’’ Hanna coughs beside me

Instantly the girls pull apart and Aria blushes looking down at her hands. Spencer looks at me ‘’ Happy?’’

‘’ Very! But probably not as much as you’’ I wink 

‘’ Immature idiots’’ Spencer mumbles

‘’ Oh come on! You were clearly enjoying it! If we weren't here and Hanna hadn't interrupted don’t tell me you would’ve stopped!’’ Alison laughs

‘’ So what? Everyone’s allowed to discover and experiment?’’ Aria dismisses us ‘’ You want to hear it. Yes, I enjoyed the kiss. And yes, I had wondered it’d be like to kiss a girl. But in case you’ve forgotten, we both have boyfriends and I know that I love mine a lot. So now if we can stop labelling and stigmatising shit can we get on with the game?!’’ she fumes

‘’ Woah! Hold your horses there Munchkin. We’re just teasing you.’’ Hanna puts her hands up in defence

‘’ Anyways. Next round. ‘’ Spencer moves on spinning the bottle. We watch as it twirls before it comes to a stop pointing to me.

‘’ Truth’’ I announce immediately

‘’ Ok. Well unlike you, I’m fine with normal questions and I think after that we should go back to them. So… Em. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?’’ Aria asks

‘’ Boring.’’ I roll my eyes ‘’ I guess traveling around the world, discovering places. I don’t really know anything else other than I will not live in Rosewood.’’ 

 

Alison’s POV

I can’t help but gulp as she says that. I just want to stay here. I mean sure I’d like to travel but ultimately I want this to be the place I’ll, we’ll, always come back to. This is the place I want to keep calling home. 

‘’ Hey Babe, you ok?’’ Em asks wrapping her arm around me

‘’ Yeah, I’m fine. I just need some air’’ I shake her arm off of me and stand up

‘’ Ok, let me just take my jacket. I’ll come with you’’ Em offers getting up too

‘’ No, don’t. Stay with the girls. I just need a little space, just want to breathe, be on my own right now. Ok?’’ I tell her resting my hand on her arm  
‘’ Um… Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I guess’’ she says confused

I grab my jacket and head out of Spencer’s barn and go sit on her back porch. Does it make me selfish to want her to stay here with me to keep me safe and hold me tight? Does it make me a bad person to want to go against her wishes? The answers are an obvious yes. And I hate myself because of it. I mean there is nothing wrong with her wanting to explore the world. It’s just I want our ground base to be Rosewood. I want my home to stay my home. My family and I are finally working together and I finally feel like I am meant to be here. But if she wants to go somewhere else, I’d most likely follow her but I know the pain of being away in the end would be too much and I’d be miserable. I’m miserable thinking about it right now.

‘’ UGH!’’ I grunt as I bury my face in my hands 

‘’ Wanna tell me what’s bugging you?’’ I jump up to see Aria standing in front of me her arms crossed

‘’ What are you doing here?’’ I snap at her

‘’ Checking on you. Clearly you didn’t want Em to come with you and there’s a reason for it. Now tell me what is it?’’ she sits down beside me as she looks at the barn in front of us

‘’ It’s nothing…’’ I mutter a tear rolling down my cheek

‘’ It’s obviously something, otherwise you wouldn’t be spending the last night you have with your best friend and girlfriend outside in the freeeeezing cold!’’ she exaggerates

‘’ It’s-I-It’s- Em-She… UGH!’’ I groan at not being able to express myself

‘’ It’s okay take your time’’

‘’ It’s just that Em and I… We want different things. She wants to go to California for college. I want to go to Hollis. She wants to leave this town forever. I want live here, grow old here. She wants to do big things. I just want to teach. We just never seem to be on the same page anymore. Ever since she’s moved to Texas, it’s like it’s not the Emily I fell in love with. I mean it’s still her and she is still my whole world and I love her to death. But when I speak to her on the phone or we Skype it’s like I’m speaking to an Emily look alike who just doesn't seem to be the one we know. And it’s hot sometimes this cocky and sexy Emily, but it scares me.’’ Wow… I can’t believe I just said all that. By now the tears were just gushing out like there’s no tomorrow

‘’ Woah… I had no idea you felt that way. Have you tried talking to her about it?’’ Aria grabs me in a side hug and I rest my head of her shoulder as our hands intertwine

‘’ I can’t say anything. If anything it’ll make matters worse’’

‘’ Ali, you can’t just let her leave and have all these thoughts running through your mind. She deserves to know’’ I was about to speak but instead

‘’ She’s right you know. I do deserve to know’’ Shit. Emily stands a few meters in front of us

‘’ Em…’’ I sigh painfully, lifting my head from Aria’s shoulder

‘’ I’ll um go’’ Aria quickly runs back to the barn leaving me to face the music on my own

‘’ Em… How much did you hear?’’ I try to wipe away my tears as I stand up

‘’ Enough to know my girlfriend is worried about me and about our relationship’’ her arms cross over her chest and I look down in shame ‘’ Ali, Princess, you have to tell me what’s wrong, you can’t expect me to always magically guess what’s going in that beautiful mind of yours’’

‘’ I know and I’m sorry!’’ I almost yell at her. I try to recompose myself and take yet another deep breath ‘’ It’s just I keep feeling like you're slipping away from me and I hate it. Because the worst part is that I know that we won’t go to college together and that you’ll just slip more and more away from me. And I can’t handle losing you, Emily.’’ I can’t look at her. It hurts too much. So instead my eyes drop to my feet ‘’I love you more than life, and losing you would mean losing my life’’ I admit

Her arms all of a sudden are around me and I feel tears falling on my face and I know they are not my own. We just hold each other tight for a while. Scared that breaking away, would break our souls. We hold on for dear life.

‘’ I’m sorry I’m not here for you as much as I wish I was by your side all the time, it’s just not possible right now. And I don't have to go to college elsewhere, I’ll stay here if means I get to be wi-‘’

‘’ No! You are not sacrificing anything else for me! You’ve done so much for me already an I will not take away your dreams too!’’ 

‘’ Fine. But either way it’s going to work. Because I am not giving up on you. I am not giving up on us. I am not giving up on my one true love. I promise it’s going to work out Ali! I promise that no matter what happens it’s you and me till the end!’’ she longingly kisses my temple ‘’ Emison is endgame’’

I giggle a little thought the tears and create a little bit of space between us. I look into her eyes. They’re red from crying yet I still lose myself in the pool of chocolate orbs. A few stray hairs stick to her face from the tears.

‘’ Promise me that no matter where we go, together or separately, you’ll always be my home?’’

‘’ I promise.’’ she kisses my lips sweetly and I can taste the tears on them the same way she can most likely taste mine.

‘’ I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’

‘’ I love you too Emily Catherine Fields’’

——————————————————————————————————

* the next day: Sunday 21/02*

Alison’s POV

‘’ Are you sure you’ve got everything?’’ I enquire again as I watch her put her suitcase in the trunk of the car

‘’ For the millionth time Ali, yes!’’ Em huffs ‘’ And even if I did forget something, it could give me a reason to come back’’ she smirks cheekily wrapping her arms around me

‘’ Well then maybe you should consider to leave something behind’’ I answer back cheekily

‘’ I should’’ she kisses me passionately (A/N not really going to go into the details of these insignificant kisses much anymore, unless you want me to, I feel like you get the point)

‘’ Get a room’’ Hanna bumps us, we laugh a little as break apart

‘’ Right well then, I guess this is it… for now’’ Emily shrugs her shoulders and rests her hands on her hips. We’re all in front of Spencer’s house, a cab is waiting to take Em to the airport but none of us make a move. It’s eerily quiet, no one ready to part for the umpteenth time.

‘’ Come back soon, Em!’’ Spencer is the first to crack and lunges at Emily’s neck. The brunettes share a tight embrace before we all pile in to a huge group hug. Tears, I love you’s and I miss you’s going everywhere. 

‘’ Time is ticking!’’ the driver yells from his seat

We pull away. The girls give a quick individual hug and goodbye to Emily. She then pulls me a little to the side from the others, so that they can’t hear us.

She cups my face and with her thumb tries to wipe away the tears that just keep coming. ‘’ 5 weeks. That’s all it is ok. I’ll be back in no time. We’re almost there too, only a couple months and this will all be over’’

‘’ I know but it’s still time without you’’ I answer as lean into her caress

‘’ I know, babe. I mean what I told you ok?’’ she kiss my nose lightly ‘’Forever’’ she rests her forehead against mine as I feel her grab my necklace

‘’ I love you’’ I whisper against her lips

She pulls me into a deep kiss and we stay like that for a bit. Lips against lips. Nothing more. But an understanding. A promise between two lovers.

‘’ I gotta go. I’m moments away from never going back’’ she sighs as she pulls away from and grabs my hand. We walk back to the taxi 

‘’ Finally, kid. We’re gonna be late’’ the driver complains

‘’ Yeah. Sorry. I got caught up’’ Em apologises as she gets in to the car. She buckles in as I close the door for her.

‘’ I love you Killer’’ I say a final time as the car starts  
‘’ I love you more Princess’’ 

I smile melancholically and watch as the car drives away 

‘’ Not possible’’ I mutter but it was already to late


	47. Baby?

* a couple weeks later : 11/3/16*

Alison’s POV

We’ve been back at school for a couple of weeks now and I can’t help but feel uneasy. Em doesn’t send me as many good morning texts as she used to and there have been days where I haven't even received one message from her. It worries me that she’s growing more and more distant. 

‘’ Stop worrying’’ Hanna says without looking at me 

‘’ What?’’ I say baffled

‘’ I can tell you’re worrying about you and Em. Stop.’’

‘’ Guys, she hasn't texted me in more than 24 hours. How can I not worry?’’ I shriek

‘’ Ali, it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't miss you or love you any less. For all you know, she’s just finally fitting in and spending time with some new friends.’’ Spencer attempts to comfort me

‘’ So??? I spend time with you and I think about her every damn second of the day!’’ I retort

‘’ Have you tried texting her first? Maybe she feels like she’s suffocating you because she always texts first’’ Aria tries

‘’ Em isn’t like that, not with me. She knows how much I love her and she knows that I wait for her texts constantly.’’ I look at their confused faces ‘’ Ugh! You guys just don’t get it!’’ I get up from our lunch table and walk towards Elliot’s table where he’s sitting with some guys I don’t know

‘’ Scoot!’’ I shoo them away and they all immediately leave. People in the school respect me now for other reasons than my attitude so I don’t feel too bad when I ask them to move

‘’ What’s up Ali?’’ Elliot looks at me perplexed

I put my head down on the table and let out a heavy sigh ‘’ Emmmmm’’ I whine

‘’ What was that?’’ 

I pick myself back up and look at him. He’s got nice eyes come to think of it-not the time for this Ali, I scold myself

‘’ I can feel her slipping away, Eli, and I don’t like it. She doesn’t call me every day, she hasn't texted me since 2 nights ago and when we do speak she’s not’’ I pause thinking of how to finish my sentence ‘’ her. She’s not her.’’

‘’ Wow… I’m sorry that must suck. I don’t wanna say you’re over-thinking it because I don’t know her very well and yeah from what you’re saying I get why you might worry. But I do know she loves you to death and she might just want a little bit of space right now and just explore her new life but I assure you she’ll come back to you. From what I’ve understood that’s your thing right?’’ he nudges me slightly

‘’ Yeah’’ I chuckle ‘’ I guess you’re right’’ I huff as I rest my head down on his shoulders

‘’ Talk to her about it. Communicating is the healthiest thing you can do in a relationship’’ he informs me

‘’ You’re reading your psychology books again aren’t you?’’ I mock

‘’ Maybe’’ he laughs quietly ‘’ But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do what I said’’

‘’ True… I guess there is no harm in trying…’’

‘’ There you go that’s the spirit’’ he says with fake enthusiasm

——————————————————————————————————

* later that day after school*

‘’ Hey Babe!’’ Em says as the Skype call goes through

‘’ Hey Em’’ I smile a little at the sound of her voice 

‘’ What’s up?’’ she asks not looking up from whatever she’s doing

‘’ I should be asking you that really’’

‘’ What are you talking about?’’

‘’ Em. Look at me. Please’’ I beg. I want her to look me in the eyes for this 

‘’ What is it, Ali?’’ she finally looks at me and her expression is not as soft as I remember

‘’ I’m worried about us, Em.’’ I confess

She lets out an unhumorous and uncomfortable laugh before looking at me again ‘’ Wait you’re being serious?’’

‘’ Yes! I’m being serious Emily!’’

‘’ Why? We’re fine. There’s nothing to worry about.’’ Ok well that’s a little bit of a flat answer coming from Emily if you ask me. There was no sweet tone, no passion in her words and no words of love

‘’ I don’t believe that, Emily. We used to text every day now I might get a quick hey and check up on me like once every two days. You don’t send me anymore good morning or goodnight texts. Do you realise this is the first time we’ve skyped since you left Rosewood almost 2 weeks ago?!?!?!’’ I was doing the best I could to hold back my tears but I knew my quivering lips and broken voice gave all emotions away.

She hangs her head between her shoulders and stares up at me apologetically ‘’ I’m sorry Ali… I didn’t mean to neglect you. I’ve just been working a lot and doing my best to fit in into my new school at the same time that I lost track of what really mattered. I’m sorry Princess’’

A single tear escapes my eyes and I quickly wipe it away ‘’ Is that why you forgot about me?’’

‘’ I could never forget about you. You know that’’ she presses

‘’ I guess so… Everything just seems so unsure nowadays. You’re going to California, I’ll be h-‘’

‘’ Baby? Where are you?’’ I hear suddenly through the speakers on my laptop, I raise my eyebrows suspiciously at Emily who turns to her bedroom door behind her

‘’ There you are sweetheart!’’ A beautiful blonde in a cheerleader outfit comes into view

‘’ Oh… Hey Q-Quinn’’ Emily stutters

‘’ Hi Quinn.’’ I make myself know coldly. Quinn peeks over Emily’s shoulder and sees me

‘’ Oh. I’m guessing you’re Alison right?’’ 

‘’ Yeah that’s me.’’ I say venom lacing my voice. Emily throws me a warning glance

‘’ Okay. I have feeling I should leave’’ she looks at me and then back Emily ‘’So I’m going to go wait downstairs for you’’ she turns to walk out as she stands on the threshold she looks back and smirks ‘’ Bye Alison’’ and she closes the door

‘’ You have one minute. Go!’’ I demand

‘’ She’s just a friend Ali! She calls everyone by those kind of nicknames. Don’t worry it’s fine. Nothing’s happened. There is nothing going on. Chill’’ she explains nonchalantly and I can’t read her eyes like I used to. I’m not capable of seeing if she’s telling the truth or not and that scares me. A lot.

‘’ I don’t buy it. Why is she waiting for you?’’

‘’ She’s my neighbour and I’m driving her to the game this evening and then we’re going to a party! Relax? Okay. Stop doing this!’’ 

‘’ Doing what?’’ I am so fucking confused and I notice her tone changing

‘’ Reacting the exact way you hate I react whenever Elliot pops up in real life or in the conversation’’

‘’ This is different!’’ I protest

‘’ You’re right it is different! Because one of you actually feels something for the other unlike Quinn and I!’’ she argues

‘’ What are you talking about?’’

‘’ Oh my fucking god! How are you this oblivious?! Elliot likes you! He admitted it to me that day at the bowling!’’ Wait what? Elliot likes me ‘’ Clearly he’s not the only one who has feelings’’ Emily grumbles

 

‘’ ‘Scuse me?’’

‘’ I can see that little smile threatening to show up on your lips. And that only happened 5 seconds ago! Gosh you’re such a hypocrite!’’

‘’ I can’t believe it! You think I’m attracted to him! When will you get this through your head?! I love you Emily Fields! I have since we were 15! So don’t you go pointing fingers and shouting things you know nothing about!’’ I rake my hands through my hair frustrated ‘’ Dammit Em… Why???’’ I try to stifle a sob

‘’ What?’’

‘’ Why can’t you trust me?’’

‘’ I could ask you the same thing, Alison.’’ she answers

We just stare at each other for a minute. Trying to understand what’s going through the other’s mind. And I can’t. I used to be able to read her like a book I used to know her every thoughts. Now, the only thing I know is that we aren’t the same as we used to be

‘’ I’ve got to to go. Bye Alison’’ 

‘’ Bye, Em. I love you’’ but she cuts off the call before I can answer


	48. Apologies

* the next morning: 12/03/16

Alison’s POV

I can’t believe she just hung up on me like that last night. I cried myself to sleep because I just felt so plain awful. Mainly because what she said last night and what she didn’t say. She’d just hung up on me. No ‘I love you’, no ‘I’ll call you back’, no ‘ I miss you’. Nothing. Even when we argue, she always says something sweet before hanging up. It’s just how she is, she hates leaving things on a sour note. But I also cried out of guilt. I get it. She’s right why don’t I trust her? She’s already proved to me so many times that I can. But for some reason, I can’t. I can’t bring myself to fully trust her. I don’t know why. I mean yes, in the past, I’ve had experiences where I’ve lost all my faith in people but she was never the cause of any of that. If anything, she was always the reason why I found the strength to trust people again. 

I take my phone out and go to Emily’s name in my messages

AD: I’m so sorry Emily about the way I reacted last night. It was way out of line and you’re right I have no reason to question you. I trust you, I do. It’s the others I don’t trust. 

Ten minutes later and she still hasn't answered

AD: I hate when we fight. Please, love. I’m so so so so so sorry. I miss you and I’m going crazy without you here. Please, baby. I love you

Five gnawing minutes have gone pass and still nothing. Oh my god… I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up. She’s gonna break up with me. I was being too needy and desperate. Such an unattractive quality. Oh my god she’s just gonna ignore me and-My thoughts are interrupted by phone ringing in my hand. I immediately press answer

AD: Em? I breathe out, barely above whisper

EF: It’s me, Ali

AD: I’m so sorry Emi-

EF: No hey don’t okay. It’s fine really. I understand. Don’t apologise it’s alright 

That’s weird… just yesterday she was entirely losing her shit over this and now she’s apologising to me. What?!?!?! I want to question her but I know now is not the time

AD: I want to though…

EF: It’s fine Alison… Don’t worry about it

AD: Stupid hormones I grumble I get mood swings all the time and I’m sorry that it just happened to be when I called you

EF: Ali, it’s fine. Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. It’s normal to worry about these things. I get it ok? You following the doctors orders?

AD: Yeah but I’m really missing my caffeine

EF: Haha… Of course you are. Listen, I need to go. I’ll call you later ok?

AD: ok. Love you

EF: yeah… um Love you too Ali. bye

Okay now that was definitely weird… Why did she hesitate? Why did she seem in such a hurry? 

Ok no! Alison. Calm down. Breathe. She loves you ok. Relax. Chill. It’s all good. Nothing is wrong. You’re just over thinking things.

I really need to get my mind off of her. I unlock my phone again and scroll through my contacts and start to type

AD: Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to revise Maths together today?

ER: Yeah sure. Who else is coming?

AD: No one, just me and you. 

ER: Really?

AD: Yeah, I kinda need a break from the others this w-e

ER: Ok I’ll be there in 15 mins

AD: Cool :)

I lock my phone and start tidying my room up a little as well as creating some space on my desk to work. I dump all of my clothes in my walk-in wardrobe, completely unbothered to actually put them away neatly. I put all the rubbish in the bin and empty it. I take out my maths book and place it on my desk. I grab a second chair and put it besides the other one at my desk. By the time, I’m done the doorbell rings. 

‘’ I’ve got it!’’ I yell as I come rushing down the stairs and open the door ‘’ Hey!’’ I smile as I see Elliot with his backpack 

‘’ Hi’’ he answers in his cute accent. I move out the way and let him in ‘’ You ready work?’’

‘’ Not really, but I have to graduate.’’ I sigh ‘’ Mum! Elliot and I are going to work upstairs’’

‘’ Ok! Sweetie! Make sure the door stays open’’ 

‘’ Mum I have a girlfriend!’’ I remind her

‘’ I don’t care!’’ she sing-songs 

I look at Elliot and he laughs as we start climbing up the stairs. As we enter my room I make sure to leave the door open. 

We start working, going through exercises together for about half an hour

‘’ Ok, I have to ask’’ he puts his pen down and stares at me ‘’ Have you called Emily?’’

‘’ Yeah…’’ 

‘’ And?’’ I turn my chair and he does the same so we’re now face to face instead of side by side. 

‘’ And so she says she’s just stressed but then this girl came in and she was being a little too affectionate for my taste. We argued. She hung up on me. I cried. Alot. We apologised this morning. Then she said I don’t have to apologise. And then she sounded weird and said she had to go. And finally I texted you.’’

‘’ Okay… I’m feeling there’s more than you’re letting on. But I won’t push you to say anything. I’m just happy you guys are trying to sort everything out ’’

‘’ Thanks’’ I smile to him sincerely. Something in his eyes changes and he seems to struggle internally. Suddenly his expression changes as he coughs awkwardly and says ‘’ Right so integration then…’’ he turns back to his paper

Was Emily right? Was it possible that Elliot has feelings for me? No that’s crazy right? We’re just really good friends. Right? 

 

* Monday at school: 14/03/2016*

Emily’s POV

‘’ Hey Em!’’ Sam greets me as he approaches my locker 

‘’ Hey Sam, hi Finn’’ I answer as they stop next to me

‘’ Where’d you disappear to last Friday?’’ Sam wonders

‘’ What do you mean?’’ I pretend I don’t understand what they’re talking about

‘’ We looked for you at the party but we couldn't find you anywhere’’ Finn tells me

‘’ Oh yeah… No I-um-I didn’t stay long. I got into a fight with Ali before the game and I wasn't too much in the mood to party’’ I answer

‘’ Damn… What was the fight about?’’ Sam questions

‘’ Stupid shit that honestly we both should’ve know better about. We apologised now it’s done. I don’t really want to talk about it anymore’’

‘’ Yeah, ok sure whatever’’ Finn puts his hands up before nodding his head at someone behind me ‘’ Yo Quinn! Where were you Friday night, I didn’t see you?’’ I gulp a little as I turn around and see the blonde cheerleader walk our way

‘’ Yeah… I got a little busy’’ she smirks looking at me

‘’ That’s code for I was with someone.’’ Sam nudges her

‘’ Ok, well I’m gonna go now. See you guys in class!’’ I walk away as fast as I can and pull my phone out. My lock screen is a pic of Alison on my back kissing my cheek. I unlock it and go to her name

EF: I miss you x I’ve got my tickets for Easter. My parents only want me to stay one week though :( they want me to revise for my exams and stuff… Sorry for everything, love you xxx -Killer

I sigh and wipe a hand on my forehead as I walk into class and find my seat. I’m so screwed. Fucking hell, we’re such a mess but I love it.


	49. Strange Love

*26/03/2016*

Alison’s POV

I stand impatiently at the arrival gate, tapping my hand against the rail I’m leaning on. It had been 2 weeks since the argument with Emily and things seemed out of place. Almost as if we were both trying too hard to not screw up and not be ourselves. It felt weird in all honesty, but I understand it. We had things to work through over the Easter holidays and I was sure that by the time she left everything would be back to normal. There would be no forced smiles or phone calls and we would remember just how much we need the other in our lives. To me, it’s like everything is different, almost like they don’t belong and I hate it. It makes me feel uneasy and tense and I hate that facade of myself.

‘’ Flight 20389 from Texas please proceed to the arrival gates’’ 

That’s her! Yes! I raise myself on my tiptoes and look for her. There’s not many people coming out so it’s not too difficult to spot on her. Besides the obvious fact that she out-slays everyone here with her killer body and her gorgeous face. I duck under the rail and run up to her. She drops her suitcase as I jump in her arms and wrap my legs around her back.

‘’ Um… Hi’’ she says awkwardly although I can hear the happiness in her voice. She sets me down and I look into her eyes and give her a kiss. That’s odd, it feels off. Like she’s not into it. I try to shake it off as I pull away and pretend it’s all good.

‘’ Hey’’ I smile at her as brightly as possible ‘’ I’ve missed you’’

‘’ You don’t say…‘’ she chuckles ‘’ I’ve missed you too’’. She picks her bag up and we start walking side by side. I wait patiently. We pass the Starbucks, the Krispy Kreme, the departure boards. She still hasn’t reached for my hand. Once we arrive outside I just do it myself and offer her a smile that she returns as I drag us to my car.

When we are in the car, we make small talk. It’s not awkward but the conversation doesn’t seem to flow as easily as usual.

‘’ So are the girls waiting for me at home?’’ she suddenly asks

‘’ Um… No. I thought we could spend the day just the two of us.’’ I answer

‘’ Oh. Okay. Yeah.’’ 

‘’ Do you not want to do that?’’ I worry 

‘’ No, of course I want to spend time just the two of us, babe.’’ she grabs my hand that wasn't on the steering wheel ‘’I was just curious that’s all’’ she soothingly rubs her thumb of the back of my hand before pulling away

‘’ Okay if you say so’’

I feel her eyes on me as I keep driving and I can’t help but smile. 

‘’ Quit staring’’ I giggle nervously

‘’ I’m not staring.’’

‘’ Yes you are. I can feel your eyes on me’’

‘’ I’m not staring. I’m admiring the view. And either way, I’m pretty sure it’s… How’d you phrase it again?’’ she pauses ‘’ Mandatory, right that’s it, it’s mandatory for me to stare at you, you’re my girlfriend. Remember?’’

I chuckle and look at her quickly ‘’ How could I forget?’’ I smile genuinely for the first time in days to Emily and turn my head back to face the road.

Maybe I have nothing to worry about. Maybe it’s just weird for her to see me in flesh again. For all I know, it’s just my damn mood swings. I’m sure we’re fine. Why wouldn’t we be?

Once we get home, I immediately drag her out of the car and to the house hoping for a little fun time before my parents get home from lunch with the Kahn’s.

‘’ Ali! Slow down! Why are you rushing?’’ Em trails behind as I reach the front door. I turn around at her and wink 

‘’ I’ve missed you a lot’’ I mutter huskily as I pull her closer to me and turn the doorknob kicking the door open with my foot as I press our lips together

‘’ Ali…’’

‘’ Alison? Is that you?’’ Shit! I jump away from Emily just as I hear footsteps coming out of the living room 

‘’ Dad! What are you doing here?’’ I wonder surprised

Emily is awkwardly shifting on her feet beside me and I grab her hand to try and calm her a little. I see my dad’s eyes glance down quickly at my action. I just smile and pretend everything is fine. 

‘’ Hello Emily!’’ he extends his hand to her and she shakes it weakly… What the hell has gotten into her she usually stands tall in front of him. ‘’ The Kahn’s cancelled, Miranda got ill’’ he adds looking at me

‘’ Oh well okay then…’’ Shit, I’m horny and I really need some right now! Dammit! I’ve waited pretty much 6 weeks for this! Come on! 

‘’ Is that Emily and Ali?’’ I hear my mum shout as she comes through ‘’ Hey there sweetheart!’’ she hugs Em who stiffens a little   
Ok seriously… What the fuck? 

‘’ Em and I are gonna drop her stuff off in my room’’ I announce as I start making my way upstairs with Em’s suitcase in hand

‘’ Ali, babe, lemme take that’’ she offers but I just sprint up the stairs ahead giggling like a child

‘’ KEEP THE DOOR OPEN GIRLS!’’ My dad shouts after us as I get to my room, Emily hot on my tail 

‘’ Yes Dad!’’ I yell back laughing madly as Em grabs me and swings me around 

‘’ Got ya!’’ she roars

‘’ Ah! Em! Put me down! Put me down!’’ I stammer laughing through tears

She spins me around for a little longer before eventually setting me back down. Her hands rest on my waist and mine are around her neck. I study her eyes carefully and find the sparkle I thought was lost. I read nothing but love and care in her eyes and I feel joy overwhelm me. She carefully leans in and for a moment, her lips simply rest on mine. They just simply stay there. Slowly her lips start to move and mine follow, it’s almost as if we’re tip-toeing the kiss but then again we aren’t because this is just as sweet and romantic. She parts her lips a little and I gently run my tongue on them as she opens her mouth a little wider and gives me full access to rediscover her mouth. I can taste the peppermint gum on her breath, feel our noses rubbing against one another as our lips dance, her hand rests under my t-shirt and sends a wave of electricity cursing through me. I smile into the kiss, as I realise that this just feels right. I walk back slowly until my legs hit the bed and lay down on it. She rests on top of me and we keep making out passionately. I open my eyes to see her staring into mine too. She moves a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses me with more force, pushing me deeper into the bed. My hands grab just above her waist where her t-shirt has risen up and hers lay either side of my face, slightly holding her up

‘’ Humhum!’’ someone coughs

Em quickly jumps off me and I sit up to see Jason standing in the doorway  
‘’ Door is open guys… Please remember that next time.’’ he grimaces

‘’ Sorry.’’ I apologise  
‘’ Hey Jason’’ Em offers a shy smile ‘’ Sorry, it shouldn’t have happened. My bad’’

‘’ Uh huh… Nice to see you Em. Although next time I’d prefer not on top of my sister’’ he chuckles walking away 

‘’ Hey! Where are you going?’’ I ask him before he goes too far. He comes back into the room

‘’ Well, from what I just saw, I’m guessing you girls want to be alone for a while. So, being the incredible brother I am, I’m going to offer Mum and Dad to join me, Aria and her parents for lunch’’

‘’ Still going strong, huh?’’ Em raises her eyebrows

‘’ Yeah! I think so’’ he beams

‘’ Well I’m happy for you Jay! And thank you!’’ I give him a hug 

‘’ Don’t mention it’’ he walks out of the room and I turn to face Em

‘’ Well that was a close one…’’

‘’ Yeah it was’’ she agrees ‘’ I think it’s your fault’’

‘’ What?’’ I scoff

‘’ You don’t have to be so damn cute!’’ she giggles

‘’ Haha! Good save, Fields!’’ I stick my tongue out at her

‘’ Adorable!’’ she comes up to me and squishes my cheeks as she gives me a small peck on the lips. I grab ahold of her waist, wrapping my arms around her and I rest my head against her chest, feeling the movement of it as she breathes and hearing her heart beating. She protectively wraps her arms around me.

‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields’’ I breathe against her skin. I feel her heartbeat quicken as she stays silents. I feel my breath hitch in my throat as I wait… Come on… Say it… Say it back… goddamn it… please… 3 words… 8 letters… that’s all I ask for… please…

‘’ I love you too Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’ I release the breath I was holding as she places a soft kiss on top of my head. She keeps holding on to me her head nuzzled next to mine, which is buried in the crook of her shoulder

‘’ Girls…’’ I turn my face to the door and see my dad standing there ‘’ I hope I’m not interrupting’’

‘’ It’s fine’’ I assure him

‘’ Ok good. Well Jason has organised a last minute lunch between us and the Montgomerys’ so we’re going to head out now. Text me if you’re planning on going anywhere even just for a few minutes so we don’t worry if we come home to an empty home. Alison, I trust you. Emily, I’m trusting you too’’ he throws her a warning glance and she nods her head fast ‘’ Good. Let’s see…’’ He peers at his watch ‘’It’s already one clock so we’ll be back around 5ish I’d say. I’ll see you later’’ he waves and I give him a small smile

‘’ Bye Dad’’

‘’ Bye Mr Di’’

As soon as I hear the door close downstairs, I turn around smiling mischievously at Emily.

‘’ So what shall we do now then?’’ she gulps innocently

‘’ I have a pretty good idea’’ I walk to her seductively

I rest my hands on her waist and slowly lean in capturing her lips in mine. She doesn't respond at first but as I tug a little on her bottom lip she starts kissing back. Soon our tongues are fighting for dominance and her hands lose themselves in my hair. I pull her in closer to me as I move back slowly until I fall on my bed as she gently lays on top of me. I flip us so that I’m straddling her and I start kissing from her jaw to her sweet spot on her neck earning a small moan from her. I keep going until I reach her collarbone and go back up to her lips as I slide my hands under her shirt and starts stroking her warm skin. She turns her head away and I take it as a sign to go back to her neck

‘’ Ali…’’ she grunts and I smirk as I start to remove her t-shirt

But quickly her hands are on mine and she’s pulling her t-shirt back down as she sits up pushing me back on to her legs in the process ‘’ I’m not in the mood’’ she just says

I look at her incredulously, unable to believe the words that escaped her mouth ‘’ 5 minutes ago you were all over me and now ‘You’re not in the mood’?!’’ I shriek

‘’ I’m sorry babe… I’m just not feeling it anymore… Your brother walking in sorta killed the mood’’ she lies

‘’ No. That’s bullshit. And you know it.’’ I jump off of her and she makes her way to the edge of the bed as I stand in front of her. Fear suddenly takes over and I feel the tears form in my eyes ‘’ Is it the weight? Do you not find me pretty anymore?’’

‘’What?! No!’’ she rapidly interjects as she rushes up to me ‘’ That’s not true! At all! You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. Don’t you ever forget that’’ she whispers to me trying to wipe away a tear that had found its way down my cheek ‘’ I just want to cuddle with you right now. I just want to hold you in my arms and watch Friends. That’s all I feel like doing for the moment. ’’ she grabs me into a hug and murmurs in my ear ‘’ I love you Alison and I’m sorry.’’ she kisses my temple, untangles herself from me and goes and sit on my bed ‘’ Well come on what are you waiting for?’’ she asks as she pats the space next to her

I look at her still teary and suspicious about her behaviour, yet I can’t help but give in and climb in next to her as she wraps her arm around me. She doesn’t seem to hold me as tight as usual but maybe I just forgot the feeling. I examine her face as she focuses on finding the show on Netflix. I see the small vein above her eyebrow pop out, her tongue sticking out slightly as she focuses. Her eyes seems glassier than what I remembered as if they were hiding, but from what? who knows… 

‘’ You’re missing the beginning of The One where Ross and Rachel… You know’’ she tells me as she stays facing the screen

‘’ Sorry’’ I look at the tv but quickly turn to her again ‘’ I love you too Emily’’ I kiss her cheek and snuggle in closer to her chest. I hear her heartbeat go faster and feel her tense a little before she puts her arm tighter around me. There. That’s how I remember her hugs being.

——————————————————————————————————

* The next day: 27/03*

So I’m still horny as hell. 

When my family got home yesterday, Em insisted on staying with them until it was time for bed. She made an excuse of it being the polite thing too and just genuinely wanting to catch-up with my family Which I only half-buy because let’s face it, Emily is a nice, polite and good girl.

Now, we’re sitting on the couch before the girls get here for lunch in about an hour just cuddling. 

‘’ Want to go up to my room?’’ I ask with a smirk

‘’ Why? We’re good here’’ she answers nonchalantly

‘’ I don’t think you get it’’ I lean towards her seductively ‘’ We have the house to ourselves’’ I kiss just below her jaw ‘’ And I really missed you’’ I kiss down to her lips and slide my tongue in immediately. After a heated kiss I pull away and raise my eyebrow at her, biting my bottom lip ‘’ So bedroom?’’

‘’ Sorry Ali… I kinda just want to stay on the couch and watch TV’’

I swear if my eyes could fall out of their sockets… I just stare at her, my mouth agape. She keeps staring at the TV seeming to try really hard at not turning her attention to me. I smack her on the arm

‘’ Dammit! Ali! What the fuck!’’ she screeches ‘’ Why’d you do that?

‘’ To get your fucking attention! Because I have hardly gotten any from you since you’ve been here Emily!’’

‘’ That’s not true!’’ she retorts ‘’I’ve told you I love you, I’ve told you I’ve missed you, we’ve made ou-‘’

‘’ WE HAVEN’T MADE LOVE SINCE 6 WEEKS AGO! OR EVEN JUST HAVE SEX WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE BY ME AT THIS MOMENT!’’ I yell jumping up from my position on the couch

She stares at me stunned by my voice, I am too  
‘’ It’s tearing me apart that you keep pushing away every single move I make towards you AND I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR FUCKS SAKES!’’ I pause and frustratingly rub my hands over my face before raking them through my hair ‘’ What the fuck is it, Emily?’’ I study her hard expression and she doesn't move or say anything ‘’ Is this revenge for how I treated you all these years ago? It that what it’s about?’’ she shakes her head no slowly, her eyes to the floor ‘’Is it me?’’ she keeps shaking her head no ‘’Am I doing it wrong?’’ she gets up ‘’Do I repulse you? Do you not love me anymore?’’ she pulls me into a hug her head still moving from side to side. I push her back and I feel the heat rising to my cheeks from the confusion, the pain, the sadness, the anger, the resentment. ‘’ THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS IT EMILY??? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US??? TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THIS!’’ I yell in her face

‘’ It’s not something that can be fixed…’’ she mutters

‘’ Sorry what was that? You finally found your voice, now speak up’’ I poke her in the chest fuming

She looks up into my eyes and I see that hers are red and teary ‘’ I said ‘It’s not something that can be fixed’ ‘’ her voice croaks out 

‘’ What do you mean?’’ I’m suddenly overcome with worry and take a step back away from her… maybe she’s never loved me, maybe this was just a game for her, so this is about revenge… oh my god, please don’t let it be that… 

‘’ I mean I screwed up…’’


	50. Screwing... Up

Emily’s POV

‘’ THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS IT EMILY??? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO US??? TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO TO FIX THIS!’’ she yells

‘’ It’s not something that can be fixed…’’ I mutter heart-broken

‘’ Sorry what was that? You finally found your voice, now speak up’’ she steps up to me and pokes my chest. 

I finally muster the courage to look up. My eyes burn and I can feel the tears gather.

‘’ I said ‘It’s not something that can be fixed’ ‘’ I croak

‘’ What do you mean?’’ she steps away from me a hand over her heart as though it could somehow protect her… I’m such a fucking jerk! I hate myself! She has the right to know and I hate what I’m about to do… But it has to be done

‘’ I mean I screwed up…’’

Her bottom lip starts to quiver as her voice trembles ‘’ What?’’ A single tear falls down her face ‘’ Please… Don’t say it…’’

I shake my head as I look back at my feet ‘’ I’m so sorry Ali! I don’t know what happened!’’

‘’ It better not be what I’m thinking!’’ she threatens distraught

‘’ I’m sorry Ali’’ I break down and sit on the couch behind me. I grab my head in my hands and try and control my tears. I look up at her ‘’ I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Princess’’ 

She covers her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a sob 

‘’ We’d just had a fight and I was mad and disappointed in you, in me, in us! I got drunk and she was there and I know those aren't excuses and I know I fucked up but I didn’t mean to!’’

‘’ No no no no no no no no no no no no no’’ she keeps whispering over and over. I get up and make my way over only for her to push me away with force ‘’ How could you?!?!’’ she cries

‘’ I’m so sorry Ali! I didn’t mean to! I screwed up but I still love you ok?! I’ve stayed away from her ever since! The guilt was just killing me and I knew I had to tell you I just didn’t know how or when! I fucking hate myself for what I did but I’m so sorry!’’

‘’ Who was it? lemme guess… Quinn? The cute blonde cheerleader who’s so skinny!’’ she spits in my face   
I look at her the tears now running down my face. I’m not even trying to control any of them

‘’ Please… Alison… Babe… Princess…’’ I try and take a few steps towards her but she moves away until her back hits the fireplace ‘’ I stopped it before it went to far… I know it’s not enough… But it’s something… I love you so much Alison! Please! I swear it meant nothing! It wasn’t planned it just happened! I regret it so much! Please! I promise it’ll never happen again!’’ I beg clutching my hands together and looking into her eyes

‘’ Promise?!?!’’ she huffs ‘’ Do you realise the number of promises you fucking broke Emily Fields?!?!’’ she shrieks wiping her tears away

Ok… So that was a bad choice of words… 

‘’ You promised me to always be there and then you left! You promised I’d never feel alone and when you left I felt lost! You promised me you’d never hurt me, well guess what you’ve just ploughed through me like a truck! You promised you’d never cheat on me… with her, especially’’ she breaks down 

‘’ Alison… I screwed up! I know! But please I’m begging you! I love you! And I fucking hate myself for this! I wish I could take it back I wish I could have kept all those promises! I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis… You’re my happy ending, remember?’’ I attempt my voice soft

‘’ Don’t you fucking dare’’ she wags her finger in front of me ‘’ Don’t you pull that crap on me Emily! You can’t do that! I’m not letting you do this! I hate you right now!’’

That was the final blow that shattered my heart ‘’ Please… Ali… Don’t say that… please…’’ 

‘’ I hate you Emily Catherine Fields! You had no right!!!’’ she falls to the ground and curls up in a ball I rush to her ‘’ Get away from me! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!’’ she screams 

‘’ Alison?’’ I whip my head around and see Noel standing there. I back away from her ‘’ What did you do?’’ he tightens his jaw muscles and rushes to her as I stand in front of them. 

She buries her head in his chest ‘’ Please Nono… make it stop… it hurts’’

‘’ I think you should leave.’’ he spites

‘’ No. This is me and Ali’s issue and we’re going to work through this!’’ I argue 

‘’ Please… Nono…’’

He stands up and comes up to me ‘’ Leave now… Before it’s too late’’ he threatens

I gulp loudly and look behind him at Alison. She’s holding her knees close to her chest and her face shows fear, pain, disgust, betrayal and hatred… I turn my eyes back to Noel and nod as I pointlessly try to wipe away the endless stream of tears running down my cheeks

I turn on my heel and just before I make my way out face them again   
‘’ I am so sorry Alison… I love you forever and always’’ 

Our eyes lock for a second and I look away, the tension and the emotions being too much for me to handle. 

I walk out and slap myself ‘’ YOU FUCKING IDIOT, EMILY! FOR FUCKS SAKE!’’ 

I sprint away from my mistakes, trying to push my thought away. Praying the pain in my muscles and my shortage of breath will at one point overtake the pain in my heart.

 

Noel’s POV

Al has been sobbing in my arms for a good half hour now. She hadn’t said much but ‘’ cheat’’ ‘’hate’’ ‘’love’’ ‘’Quinn’’ ‘’why’’ ‘’make it stop’’

So I had a vaguely idea of what happened and I was so fucking pissed at Emily. Alison had trusted her with all she had and all she was and Emily completely disregarded that. My heart breaks at seeing my best friend like this. I wish I could do something to stop the pain but I know I can’t. I’m so annoyed at Emily, we all trusted her and by breaking her promise to Alison, she lost the trust I had placed in her. 

‘’ We’re here!’’ I hear Spencer rush in with the others 

‘’ Fuck… What happened?’’ Hanna mutters out of breath

‘’ I need to go find Emily’’ I tell them as I try to stand but Al pulls me back down

‘’ No! Noel! Please…’’ she begs me 

‘’ Al… I need to go. She hurt you.’’ I hold her tight to me ‘’I just want to talk to her. I just want to see what she has to say for herself’’ 

‘’ Don’t leave me too…’’ she whispers brokenly

‘’ I won’t. I’ll come back.’’ I stand and help Alison up. I look at her friends ‘’ Girls. I’m going to find the asshole and you’re going to take care of Al till I get back. Ok?’’ they nod and Hanna wraps her arms around her as I make my way to the door ‘’And someone call Cece please? I think she needs her sister right now’’ 

‘’ Nono!’’ Al cries out and runs up to me and gives me a tight hug

‘’ Hey, hey… It’s okay baby girl. Okay? I’ll come back, I’m not leaving.’’ I whisper to her

‘’ Please don’t do anything stupid’’

‘’ I won’t.’’ I detach myself from the hug, kiss her temple delicately and walk out. 

Right. Now to find the bitch who broke my best friend’s heart. 

 

I’ve been walking around town for half an hour now and no sign of her. I’d checked the school pool, the library, the Brew, Leon’s Lucky Cupcakes and I even called Paige but nothing. I was starting to think she’s skipped town but she wouldn’t do that. I mean that’s not the kind of person she is. Then again, I didn’t think she was one to cheat either. 

‘’ Noel!’’ someone calls out 

I turn around and see Jason running to me from across the street 

‘’ Hey Jason’’ 

‘’ Where is she?’’ he asks angrily

‘’ I have no fucking clue! I’ve searched everywhere!’’

‘’ School pool?’’

‘’ Check’’

‘’ The Brew?’’

‘’ Check’’

‘’ The Grille?’’

‘’ Passed in front and it was empty’’

‘’ Well I know you’ll have checked the Kissing Rock’’ he raises his eyebrow, tapping his chin

‘’ No… I didn’t think she’d go there’’

‘’ How couldn’t you! That’s like the first thing that pops up to either one’s mind when they have a problem!’’ he point out

‘’ I’m sorry! It skipped my mind!’’ 

‘’ Whatever let’s go!’’ he takes off in a run and I follow him

Within in a few minutes we get there and the sight before us is not pretty. Jason ushers me to hide behind a tree and he does the same as we watch the scene unfold.

‘’ YOU FUCKING IDIOT!’’ Emily yells throwing stones into the lake violently ‘’ Why?!?! WHY BE SO STUPID! I’M SO FUCKING SORRY ALI!!! I FUCKED UP! SUCH A THINKING IDIOT! AGH!’’ She suddenly turns around and walks to the rock. She kneels down and seem to place her hand on the side of it. She then repeatedly bang the same spot whilst crying hysterically ‘’ Oh my fucking god! I can’t believe I threw us away! It took me 3 years to get her and one fucking minute to lose her! Well done Fields! As usual, you screwed everything up! Dammit! For fucks sake!’’ she keeps banging on the rock  
‘’ That’s enough Emily! You’re going to hurt yourself’’ Jason pops out from behind his tree and I do the same

She stares at us harshly ‘’ How long have you guys been standing there?’’

‘’ 2 minutes or so’’ I answer her

‘’ Listen, guys, I’m sorry. I get you’re pissed bu-‘’

‘’ Pissed? That doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel right now!’’ Jason marches to her ‘’ You fucking broke my sisters’ heart! You fucking knew what you were doing and you still let it fucking happen you cunt!’’ 

‘’ Hey Jason! Buddy! Reign it it!’’ I push him back a little a I see Emily cowering back ‘’ We trusted you Emily… She trusted you… You’re the whole reason she became this person… And now you fucking took that away!’’

‘’ Guys! I’m sorry ok? I didn’t mean for it to happen… It just did… But I stopped it before it went too far. I’ve hated myself ever since that night. You’ve got to believe me! I never wanted to hurt Ali! I never wanted anything to happen!’’ 

‘’ I don’t care Emily… You still did it.The fact is you told her to trust you, you made promises to her, and you haven’t been able to keep one. She placed her faith in you, despite everything that has happened to her, and you let her down, you let us down and you let yourself down. And that’s your own fucking fault, Fields. Now, you’re gonna woman up and face her.’’ Jason tries to keep his temper under control.

‘’ How? How am I supposed to do that Jason?!’’ she pushes her hand through her hair and lets out a heavy sigh ‘’ She doesn’t want me near, I’m pretty sure you guys don’t either. The girls are probably pissed at me. How am I supposed to face the girl I love, look her in the eye and beg her to not leave me?’’ 

I bite my lip, she’s right. That’s basically impossible ‘’ We didn’t say you should beg her not to leave you. If anything, we think it’s best that for the moment you guys broke up’’ I speak truthfully as her mouth hangs open ‘’ And you’re right neither of us want you anywhere near her. But we think that she deserves some explanation from your scummy arse.’’

‘’ Guys… I’m sorry, please. Don’t you believe me?’’  
‘’ Actions speak louder than words, Emily. Sorry. Now, let’s go’’ Jason says and moves out the way for her to walk ahead of us


	51. Fairytale Endings

Emily’s POV

I step out from the forest into the DiLaurentis’ backyard. The whole walk, Noel and Jason had stayed silent, leaving me to drown in my own misery and disappointment. Dark thoughts had entered my mind and I had kept fighting to push them away. I need to show Ali that I really do love her and I just can’t live without her. I made a stupid mistake! I mean don’t we all! 

I make my way to the backdoor but Jason puts his hand on my shoulder

‘’ No. You’re going through the front. Noel and I through the back’’ he orders

I gulp and nod nervously. I walk along the side of the house, keeping my head down in shame, and make my way alone to the front porch. 

‘’ Don’t.’’ I look up and I think I may need to change trousers.

There standing mad, red-faced and tense was Mr Di… Shit… 

‘’ P-P-Please, S-Sir’’ I stammer afraid staring up at him from the bottom of the stairs leading up to the porch

‘’ No. I gave you one job. I asked you to not do one thing. And you did it. I trusted you. I put my families and my values on the line for you.’’ his voice is severe and his glare harsh

‘’ I know, Sir! And I regret it more than anything…’’ I say truthfully ‘’Please… I just need to see her. Please. I’ve got to try and make this right! Please, Sir!’’ I beg trying to hold back the tears

‘’ No!’’ he vociferates ‘’ You broke my daughter’s heart! You acted like an idiot and I will not accept that! Do you realise how much you hurt her?’’

‘’ Yes! I had to watch her break in front of me and feel my heart clench and explode at the sight of what I had done! I love her and I screwed up! I know that! You don’t think I’m ashamed of what I did?! You don’t fucking I hate myself?! You don’t think I feel disgusted at what I did?! You don’t think I know I lost the most amazing girl in the world because I was an idiot?!’’ I shout back coming face to face with him on the porch ‘’ Screw it! I’m going to see her!’’ I try pushing past him but he gets in front of the door

‘’ Don’t even try, Emily! If I ever see you around this house again… I swear to God!’’ he holds out his fist in front of him

I take a step back and let a tear roll down my face ‘’ Let me at least get my stuff’’ I retort

‘’ It’s already taken care of.’’ He looks behind me and indeed against the railing of the porch are lying my backpack and my suitcase

I look back at him and angrily wipe away my tears for the umpteenth time in a few hours… ‘’ Fine. I guess I’ll leave then’’ I grab my stuff but before I step off the porch, I stare at him straight in the eye and try to seem as strong as I could ‘’ But tell Alison this…’’

‘’ I can’t promise anything, neither can you by the way’’

I bite my tongue and stick my jaw out. I shake my head at his comment and move on

‘’ Well I’m still going to say it, either way. I want you to tell Alison…’’

 

Alison’s POV

‘’ Tell me what?’’ I open the door 

‘’ Ali…’’ she whispers dejectedly dropping her luggage

‘’ Tell me what, Emily? Look me in the eyes and tell me!’’ I demand trying to make my voice as firm as possible but I know it’s the opposite.

‘’ Princess…’’ she makes a step towards me but I hold my hand out

‘’ No.’’ I simply say

She looks at me with those puppy eyes she does so well and I feel my throat tighten at the sight. She looks down, takes a long breath and then stares deep into my eyes

‘’ Alison Lauren DiLaurentis… I’m sorry I’m a screw up. I’m sorry I’m an idiot. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I did this. I don’t know why it happened but I know it means nothing. That night we’d gotten into a fight about exactly what I did and I wasn’t thinking straight’’ both our eyes were watery and I knew it wouldn’t take long for the drops to fall. But I did my best to keep a straight face ‘’ I was sad, I was lonely, I missed you… I was given a way out. A way out, that was blonde with blue eyes. I had drank a lot and I got caught up, I got side tracked. I’m not making any excuses. There aren’t any for what I have done’’ she hiccuped trying to stop a sob ‘’I stopped it before it got out of hand Ali… I love you too much to throw it to waste… What we had-What we have, it’s undeniably amazing and I know I badly messed up. And I know I hurt you. But, you’ve got to know how much it’s killing me! I have loved you since we were 14, Alison! I fell in love with you long before our first kiss in the library! I saw you everywhere when you disappeared! I dreamed about yo coming back and us starting a life together! I can’t see my life without you, by my side… Remember the baby tugging on your arm? The big house? The dreams? We can still have all that… Please’’ her voice was breaking more and more and the tears were now free-falling but I did my best to seem unfazed ‘’ One promise that I’ll keep forever in my heart is that I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis, forever and always. You’re my happy ending. Let me be yours. I’ll spend the rest of our fairytale life together making it up to you…’’

I sniff and try to choke back the tears but I know I’m about to lose this fight

‘’ I need time to think… ‘’ I barely manage and I walk back inside, closing the door behind me. I walk to the window and look through the opaque curtains.

Her head hangs low and her shoulders slump… I bite my lips and let the tears take over yet again… My dad hands her her luggage and she nods slightly.  
I hear her say a faint sorry and thank you to him before she turns and walks away…


	52. Still Friends

Emily’s POV  
I had been wandering around for an hour with my suitcase trailing behind me and my backpack on my back when I decided to grab a cup of coffee at The Brew. As I walked in, I felt everyone staring at me. Probably wondering why on our earth I was alone and looking lost as if a tourist in a big city. Only I’m not a tourist and Rosewood was far from a big city… Instead I was just a douchebag in a small town where I know news travelled far. Unable to stand the not so discreet glances anymore, I grabbed my coffee to go and walked out. 

I stand on the street outside, looking around. I have no fucking clue where to go… My eyes wander up and down the street when they stop on a bench in patch of green. I walk over to it and run my hand over the wood where the placard used to be. This was Ali’s bench. I sit there and remember when it got vandalised, how that’s what led to my coming out to the girls and admitting that I loved, that I love, Ali as more than a friend. All the memories just come flooding in. When she saved me from the barn and she offered to take me with her and she kissed me. When she appeared in my room in the middle of the night, trying to redeem herself. How I yelled at her cause I was just so mad at her for leaving us, for leaving me behind… I remember when we all followed her in that red coat and tears were brimming her beautiful blue eyes when she’d turned around. My breath had hitched in my throat because of she was just that breathtakingly gorgeous. But the most painful memories were the ones of us together, as a couple and then the disbelief, the disgust, the anguish in her eyes as I told her about my betrayal, as I watched myself tear our hearts apart. I swallow hard, trying to force the bitterness down, to no avail.

I felt a drop land on my face and looked up to see it was starting to rain. Well, shit. Now I definitely need to figure out where I’m going to go. I know where I could go but I don’t know if I should… No matter how much I fuck up, I know she’s there for me, she’s always there for me. I might as well try I guess.

 

Twenty minutes later, I’m standing drenched from head to toe in front of the white house and it’s dark grey door. I raise my fist and hesitantly knock… God! I hope this was a good idea!

The door swings open and the blonde doesn’t look at me ‘’ How may I—’’ her smile drops as soon as she lifts her eyes up

‘’ Hey’’ I say weakly

‘’ You fucking bitch!’’ And SLAP!

‘’ Shit!’’ I bellow holding my cheek ‘’ Fuck Hanna! That hurt!’’

‘’ Yeah well you fucking deserve it you shithead!’’ she yells at me

‘’ Very true…’’ I groan moving my jaw trying to numb the pain

She moves to the side ‘’ Now come in before you die!’’ I step inside her house and set my things aside ‘’ The girls are in the kitchen’’

Yikes… Don’t really want to face them especially not if they’re all gonna greet me the same way Hanna did… 

‘’ Aria, she betrayed my sister!’’ I hear as we start going to the kitchen. Hanna throws me a worrying glance and I just awkwardly smile at her

‘’ Guess who’s joined us, girls!’’ Hanna says loudly as she walks in ahead of me

I appear behind her and wave clumsily at my two other best friends ‘’ Hi Aria… Spencer’’

‘’ Emily’’ Aria stares agape

Spencer walks up to me and lifts her hand up but I take it cause after all I’m a fucking shit head and I deserve it. I close my eyes preparing for the hit but nothing comes. I open them slowly one by one to see Spencer just looking at me her hand raised

‘’ I thought I could do it. But I can’t. ‘’ she shakes her head and goes and sits back down at the counter

‘’ If you wanted to slap me, Hanna already did and I deserve it as she says. It’s fine. I’ve slapped myself a couple time too’’ I try to lighten the mood as go on the other side of the counter beside Hanna

Spencer chuckles slightly before her expression becomes stone hard again and she looks me dead in the eyes ‘’ Why? Why did you do it, Emily?’’

I sigh heavily and look down at my hands ‘’ I don’t know. I was mad at her, I missed her and there she was and I just did it. I didn’t think. I have no excuses. It just happened. I made a choice and I regret it. I’ll regret it forever’’ I admit

‘’ I can’t believe you’d do that to her’’ Aria finally speaks up ‘’ She places all her trust in you, she gives you everything you’ve ever wanted and you throw it all away because of a fight?!’’ she throws her hands up ‘’ I just don’t get it, Emily. I’m disappointed in you’’

Ouch. Okay well talk about a punch straight to the heart

‘’ You don’t think I’m not disappointed in myself?! I fucking hate myself for this, Aria!’’ and so the break down begins ‘’ You don’t think I realise that I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me?! It’s killed me so much that I could bring myself to touch her cause I was so disgusted with myself. Every time, she held my hand or kissed me, I was dying because of what I did. I feel the guilt eating me up from the inside.’’ Tears were now free falling down my face ‘’ I pushed away the love of my life, my soulmate, my other half over what??? A girl that looks like her? A girl that is not anywhere as incredible as Ali! Because let’s face it I’ll never find anyone like her again! I’m holding on to her, I don’t care what happens! I’m not giving up on her, on us! Ever!’’ I cry as I bury my head in Hanna’s neck who holds me into a tight hug

‘’ Hey… It’s ok… We’re here for you. We know you, Em. We know how you must feel. Don’t worry, we still love you and support you in whatever you want to do. Right, girls?’’ Hanna comforts me 

‘’ Yeah. Sure’’ Spencer agrees a little dryly

‘’ Course… Sorry, Em. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that’’ Aria apologises

‘’ You had the right to. It’s fine’’ I sniffle turning my head her way

For a few minutes, the only sounds are my sobs as I try to come back down from my drama episode. Hanna keeps a hold on me and Aria just gently rubs my arm as Spencer watches on. 

‘’ Um… ‘’ Spencer hesitantly coughs ‘’ I’m gonna go.’’

‘’ Where?’’ Aria asks

‘’ To see her.’’ she gulps

‘’ I’ll come with you. ’’ Aria announces grabbing her coat and keys from the counter ‘’ You going to be alright, you two?’’

‘’ Yeah.’’ I nod ‘’ Hanna you don’t mind if I stay here right?’’

‘’ No, of course not honey.’’ she answers

‘’ Thanks’’ I squeeze her and then detach myself ‘’ I’m sorry girls. I know I’ve done something terrible and I didn’t mean to put you in this position’’

‘’ It’s ok. Either way we’re still your best friends ok? Nothing changes. No one’s picking sides’’

‘’ Speak for yourself’’ Spencer mumbles but only I seem to hear her or the others just chose to pretend they didn’t hear anything, either way that still hurt. But I get it, I’d probably take sides too…

‘’ Anyway let’s go! We’ll see you tomorrow. We’ll do something, promise’’

There’s that damn word again. I swear it’s nagging me.

‘’ Yeah ok! Bye text me!’’ Hanna says to them as they walk out and close the door behind them. She turns back to me ‘’ So….’’

‘’ So…’’

‘’ What do you wanna do?’’

‘’ I don’t want to do this’’ 

‘’ What do you mean?’’

‘’ I don’t want you to not know how to act around me like you don’t know who I am. I’m still me even if my actions seem to prove otherwise. I just want to spend time with my Hanna Banana. I didn’t only come back for her. I came back to be with you too.’’

‘’ Ok. Sorry’’

‘’ And don’t apologise you’ve done nothing wrong’’

‘’ Sor- Fine. I won’t’’ she smiles

‘’ Good! Now… Back to the good old days?’’ I raise an eyebrow at her with a mischievous smirk

‘’ Really?’’ her eyes light up 

‘’ Really! Now the one who can find the most blankets and pillows for the fort wins! Aaannd-‘’

‘’ GO!’’ Hanna laughs running upstairs

‘’ You cheater!’’ I roar

——————————————————————————————————  
*the next morning*

Spending time with Hanna yesterday was really therapeutic. I felt free, I felt like the old Emily again. I liked the old Emily. After we finished our fort, we ordered pizza and had disney marathon, in the fort, obviously. It was a nice reliever and got my mind off of the shit I’d gotten myself into… A reason why I knew I could always count on Hanna is that she senses when its time to goof off or when you should completely avoid a subject. Had I gone to Aria’s she would’ve made me talk about my feelings, it would’ve been a therapy session and I couldn’t handle anymore tears. And clearly, Spencer didn’t want to see me at the moment.

So now here I am, adding the finishing touches to breakfast before Mrs Marin and Hanna come down. 

‘’ This is why I love having you, Emmy!’’ I turn around to see Hanna standing in the doorway her eyes big at the sight of the sizzling bacon in the pan

I chuckle a little ‘’ It’s my pleasure’’ I put the bacon on a plate and take it to the table

‘’ Emily! Hi!’’ Mrs Marin comes up to me and gives me a hug

‘’ Hey Mrs M’’   
‘’ Emily… You should know by now it’s Ashley’’

‘’ Right, sorry Ashley’’

‘’ Wow this looks delicious’’ 

‘’ Well, as I’ve said before it’s the only way I can think of thanking someone when staying at their house. It’s to cook’’ I smile

‘’ But you’re only staying one night, Emily. You didn’t have to do all this’’

I scratch the nape of my neck as I pour coffee for everyone. Hanna notices my uneasiness and jumps in ‘’ Actually, Em might stay longer’’

‘’ Really? How come you’re not staying at Alison’s?’’ she question eating some of the scrambled eggs

‘’ Mum’’ Hanna glares at her 

‘’ Oh… I’m so sorry… I didn’t know you guys were no longer a thing’’

‘’ No. Um. We are still together. We haven’t broken up’’

‘’ Yet.’’ Hanna mumbles and I stare at her and she gives me an apologetic smile

‘’ Oh ok. Well I’m sure it’ll work out and you’re welcome to stay here as long as you need’’

‘’ Thanks. But I think it should be fi-‘’ My phone beeps in my pockets saying I’ve gotten a text. I pull it out and gulp a little when I see her name pop up.

‘’ Em?’’ Hanna nudges me ‘’ You ok?’’

I don’t answer and just open the message

From Princess <3:  
Meet me at our spot in 30 mins.


	53. Trust

Emily’s POV

I arrive at the Kissing Rock a few minutes early and she’s already there. She’s sitting on the rock, facing the lake. I walk to her and sit besides her. She doesn’t flinch and just stares ahead of us

‘’ Hey ‘’ I whisper.

She doesn’t say anything, she just nods her head. I turn myself towards the lake too and watch the calm waters. In comparison, I am a nervous wreck and I can’t help but keep bouncing my leg up and down. She hasn’t uttered one word and that scares me. Is she thinking? Is she preparing herself for what she’s about to say or do? I mean she can’t break up with me, we’re Alison and Emily, we’re Emison. We work through everything and anything. We’re soulmates. We have to make it, right? Of course, we do. That’s what we do. We solve our problems. We don’t run away from them. Her silence is killing me. I quickly came to learn that when Alison was silent, she was either scheming or readying herself. And right now, neither seem good for me. She has to say something soon right? 

Unable to take it anymore, I take things into my own hands. I breathe shakily and decide that I need to say something, anything that could help me

‘’ I’m an idiot, Alison. I know that. I’m so sorry Princess! I love y-‘’

‘’ Don’t.’’ she interrupts me. She stands up and walks towards the lake. I see her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a few deep breaths before she turns to face me ‘’ Don’t say anything. You’ve said enough. Now it’s my turn.’’

I shakily nod my head, petrified of what’s coming next.

‘’ I’m breaking up with you.’’ her voice loud and clear

‘’ Wh-W-What?!?!?!’’ I swallow hard. She doesn't want this, this can’t be it. Not after everything we’ve been through. 

She closes her eyes briefly and then looks straight into mine. ‘’ You heard me’’ Her face was hard. Her eyes were cold. And her demeanour gave away nothing but heartache

‘’ No!’’ I jump up ‘’ Ali! Please! Babe! It was a mistake!’’ I beg ‘’ I know I screwed up but please! I need you!’’

‘’ No. Emily, I’m sorry but we’re over’’

‘’ No. We aren’t over. We can’t be over. Please, no…’’ I deny. It can’t be that easy. No. This can’t just be it. 

‘’ I can’t be w-’’

‘’I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis!’’ I interrupt her ‘’Don’t do this to me, to us! I know you still love me, don’t do this. I’m begging you’’ I throw myself on my knees in front of her (A/N thanks for the idea @Drea82581)

‘’ You’re right I do’’ she tries to wipe away the tears forming in her eyes ‘’ I love you with all my heart but that’s not what this is about’’ she steps away from me

‘’ Then what is it about?’’ I ask her as I get up and take a step forward 

‘’ It’s about trust, Emily! Dammit! I trusted you! You PROMISED me I could trust you! But you threw it all away and now I don’t know if I can’t do it again!’’

‘’ I swear it won’t happen again. Please you’ve got to believe me! It was a stupid mistake! In two months I’ll be back here and everything will go back to normal!’’

‘’ Yeah after that you go to college in Cali and I stay here in Hollis.’’ Her voice gets quieter and she closes her eyes 

‘’ I don’t have to go to Cali, Princess. I can stay here and we can make it wo-‘’

‘’ No. Emily, you’re not throwing away Cali to save a relationship that no longer exists.’’ She can’t be saying these words to me. This can’t be happening. ‘’ When you got to Cali and I’m here, I don’t want to have to worry about what you’re doing! I don’t want to get my heart ripped out by the one I love again!’’ I wipe away my tears although it doesn’t change anything. She grabs a hold of my hand and we both look down at them as white and brown melt together ‘’Please. I have to do this… You need to understand that I’m doing what’s right for me, Emily! I’ve experience way too much pain and I can’t take anymore. You need to leave me be. You can’t expect me to let you back in after what you did, after I placed all my trust in you. After I gave myself to you. I just can’t do it.’’ She let’s go of my hand and I immediately miss the warmth of hers. I look up into her eyes that had become a light blue that seemed empty compared to her usual electric blue. I feel my heart tighten in my throat as I study the mess I made before me as she tries to remain strong ‘’You broke too many promises or maybe I just put too much trust in you… Either way, this isn’t working like it used to Emily… And I can’t take it anymore… We’re done’’

‘’ What about the happy ending? The trips to Paris? The dream house? The kids? Growing old together? What about forever?’’ I cry 

‘’ They’ll still happen. We’ll still have all of that. Just not together.’’ 

‘’ No, no, no!’’ I grab her hand and place it against my chest on my heart ‘’ I won’t stand by and let you take away the best thing that has ever happened to us! I know I did the worst thing possible and I know it’ll take time for you to forgive me but please, don’t throw this away… I can’t live without you Ali…’’

‘’ Forgiveness is earned Em…’’ she shakes her head

‘’ Then let me earn it! I beg you! I’ll do anything and everything! I’ll throw a rope around the moon for you! I’ll work as hard as possible to give you that dream house that you’ve always dreamed of! I’ll be your knight in shining armour! Anything! Just please let me try…’’

‘’ Emily… It isn’t that simple. I can forgive you eventually, we can stay friends and maybe one day I can trust you again but I’ll never be able to trust you enough to let you back into my heart…’’

‘’ Please Ali… Let me back in… Let me spend the rest of our forever making it up to you… Please…’’ I grab her in a hug and she tenses up but I just hold on tighter until eventually she relaxes

‘’ I’m sorry, Emily…’’ she pushes away slightly and rest her hands on my chest and I let mine fall to the small of her back. I lean my forehead against hers and closes my eyes as I let the tears drip down my face. ‘’ If we’re meant for each other then we’ll find our way back. But for the moment. This is goodbye.’’ I feel her hand reach and stroke my cheek. I slowly open my eyes and gaze into hers lovingly. I study her every feature carefully, engraving them in my mind. Her blonde locks, her full pink lips, her entrancing eyes, her cute little button nose, her chubby cheeks, her vanilla scent. Everything.

‘’ This isn’t goodbye’’ I whisper ‘’ I’ll never saying goodbye to you’’ 

I cup her face and lean in. I capture her lips in mine and she doesn’t push me away. I move my lips and slowly her lips start to dance along to mine. I run my tongue on her bottom lip and I feel her mouth widen. I seize the opportunity and let my tongue savour this sorrow filled kiss. I can feel the tears running down both our cheeks as we move in perfect sync. I taste the tears of the end on her lips. I feel her cold nose rub against mine. Her hands find their way on my cheeks and she slowly pulls away passing her thumb over my lips. I look at her to see her eyes on my lips. I go back in and she moves her thumb as we share another soulful kiss. My hands find themselves cupping her face again. She grabs them and pulls away.

She looks me in the eye with affliction written all over her face. She grabs my hand and I feel something cold drop into it but I can’t see what it is, she keeps her hand over mine. With her other hand she lifts my head up 

‘’ I’m sorry’’ she breathes against my lips before pecking them slightly. She let’s go of my hand and runs away from me.

As she disappears, I look down at my hand. And I die. If my heart wasn’t already shattered, it was now completely irreplaceable. I fall down to the ground, holding my heart Ali had just given back to me.

In my hand I held what represented our love, our happy ending, our forever.

In my hand was the Eiffel Tower necklace.

*Flashback*

‘’ You and me in sweet Paris? How does that sound?’’

‘’ How long are we going away for?’’

‘’ How about forever?’’


	54. Sad Song

( You can listen to Sad Song by We The Kings here. Enjoy! )

*3 weeks later: Friday 15th April*

Emily’s POV

I’ve been back home for a little over two weeks now and back in school for one week. It’s depressing really. Everything is shit. 

That day, it took me a couple hours to find my way back to Hanna’s and when I did she was already waiting with ice cream, tissues and a shoulder to cry on. I didn’t really get out the house much when I was there. The girls, although mainly Aria and Hanna, would try and distract me and it would work for a few minutes until something, anything reminded me of her. 

I shove my books in my bag and slam my locker shut, ignoring the pictures of her inside. 

‘’ Em!’’ I turn around and see Finn walking to me

‘’ Hey Finn’’ 

‘’ Listen, there’s a party at my house tonight and obviously you’re invited!’’

‘’ I’m not sure, Finn…’’ A party is what got me in this mess in the first place and I was definitely not up for another one

‘’ Come on! It’ll be fun! Everyone is going to be there: Sam, Rachel, Kurt, Puck and Quinn!’’ he nudges me

‘’ Thanks but no thanks. I’m not in the mood, sorry, but I’m going to have to pass’’

‘’ Fine…’’ he walks with me in the corridor ‘’ I get you’re bummed but I’m just trying to help’’ he puts his arm around my shoulder

‘’ I know but right now I just want to be left in my misery…’’ I get away from him and turn the corner, bumping into someone

‘’ Sorry’’ we say at the same time

I look up to see stunning hazel eyes piercing into mine. ‘’ Sorry’’ I repeat and speed walk away before she has time to say anything

‘’ Em! Please! Wait!’’ I start running and turn down a random corridor to lose her ‘’ Em!’’ her voice resonates 

I keep going and find refuge in the library. I walk along the rows until I reach the end, where no one ever goes, and just fall into a ball in the corner, hugging my knees tight to my body. This happens at least once a day. She finds me and I run away not wanting to face her, not able to face her. I ignore her texts and phone calls too. I don’t even read them, I’m too scared of what they say and of how I’ll react. Of course I feel bad for doing it, but it’s all I can do to try and somehow start mending things with Alison. Even if she doesn’t read my texts or answer my phone calls. I make sure I send her the good morning and goodnight texts I had failed to send before. I’ve left her a couple voicemails the first few days but I couldn't take it anymore so I stuck to the texts.

I know one day she has to forgive me and one day I’ll win her back. This is just a bump in the road. We’re made for each other. We’ll find our way back, right? I mean Emison is endgame, right?

Maybe, I’m just a fool in love and alone.

Alison’s POV

Nothing. That’s what I feel. Nothing. I’ve become numb. The person that has my heart, or had my heart, I’m not sure what I’m meant to say, shredded it and now I’ve lost all motivation to do anything. All my sad songs have been playing on repeat and tears just stream down my face continuously. 

As soon as I got back from the Kissing Rock, I crawled into bed and that’s where I’ve been ever since. Occasionally, I’ll get up and walk around my room but ultimately I always find my way back to the warmth and comfort of my bed, the only thing that seems able to keep my safe anymore. Everyone’s come to check on me but I only half pay attention to what they say. Once she’d left town, the girls spent their days with me. We watched films. I cried a lot. Spencer did my homework for me, which was pointless given I couldn’t bring myself to go to school all week. They’ve been bringing me the lessons I’ve missed all week, but they have just been piling up on my desk. 

I can’t be bothered to do anything or to go anywhere. What’s the point? I’m clearly not good enough for anyone or anything. So why bother putting in an effort? I put in an effort to become an entirely new person and look where that got me: single, depressed and emotionally brain-dead, kind of. Maybe that was the problem, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I changed too much. I’m not the same adventurous fearless Alison I was when we met. That was the Alison she fell in love with. And that wasn’t the Alison that fell in love with her… She was disappointed. It’s my fault. I wasn’t good enough. I’m just a fool in love and alone. 

 

Elliot’s POV

‘’ Hey Ali’’ Spencer says as we walk in

Ali faces Spencer and I with a blank expression. She hardly acknowledges us before turning around and snuggling back into her covers, her back towards us. It hurts me to see her like this an not just because I like her but because we’d grown really close and she’d become my best friend, even if it wasn’t reciprocated, I mean she had enough of those already.

‘’ Ali… Have you eaten anything today?’’ Spencer asks as I walk to her breakfast tray on the bedside table. She doesn’t say a word but her untouched food is enough of an answer. I point at the plate to Spencer. I see her pass her hands over her face in frustration. She huffs loudly and then she just, explodes.

‘’ Ok! That’s it! I’ve had enough! You can’t stay in this bubble of self-pity Alison! You’ve been moping around for 3 weeks now! It’s time you get up and get on with your life! Move on alr-’’ 

‘’ SPENCER!’’ I stop her and she closes her mouth ‘’ I really don’t think that’s what she needs to hear right now’’ I hiss at her not very discreetly

I walk over to Ali and crouch in front of her, staring into her deep blue eyes ‘’ She does have point though… You’re gonna have to get out of the house at some point… This isn’t good for you. None of us can stand to see you like this. Let us help you.We’re your friends and no one’s going anywhere, ok?’’ I push a strand of hair out her face and she closes her eyes ‘’Take your time and reach out to us when you can’’ she gives me a slight nod as she re-opens her eyes and tears slowly start spilling down her beautiful face. 

How I wish I could fix her broken-heart! I have to make her see that I can do that… I want to but I know it’s not right. I know in my gut she belongs to Emily but in my heart I’m persuaded she belongs beside me.

A couple hours later, Spencer and I were still sitting in her room, making conversation, trying to get her to engage as she just laid in bed, getting up every now and then to pee. We managed to get her to eat a piece of toast, but that’s far as we got.

A phone went off and I look in the direction of Ali’s… I knew Emily was still texting her and I saw Alison pick it up a few times and then look lifelessly at the screen as she wept silently. It tore my heart every time. I can’t stand seeing her in pain, it tugs on my heart, as if some invisible rope tied me to her.

‘’ It’s me’’ Spencer says as she looks down ‘’ My parents want me home for dinner…’’ she walks to Ali’s bedside and kisses her cheek ‘’ I’m sorry I yelled at you. I love you sis… ‘’ I get up ready to tell her bye but Spencer stops me ‘’ Stay with her till she falls asleep’’

I nod ‘’ I will’’

I watch as she walks out the door. I let out a low sigh and make my way to her bed. I sit beside her and notice tears falling down her cheek. She has no make-up on, her eyes are red and slightly puffy yet she still looks gorgeous. Suddenly she grabs my hand that was laying on my lap and I tense up, my breath caught in my throat. But the tension immediately diffuses as I put my other hand on top and soothingly rub my thumb over the back of her hand. Her touch feels warm against my skin, her hand is a lot smaller than mine and I find it cute that I can just envelop her hand in mine like this. I’m such an idiot. I’m fawning over soothing my crush who just broke up with the only person she’s ever been in love with. What a twit. I’m just a friend to her. Nothing more. 

I’m just a fool in love and alone.

*2 days later: Sunday 17th April*

‘’ Hi Cece’’ I say as the blonde opens the door 

‘’ Hey Elliot! It’s nice to see you again!’’ she moves aside and welcomes me in

‘’ Thanks, you too! I thought you’d already left for Miami’’ 

‘’ I changed my flight… I’ll leave when she starts going back to school’’

‘’ Fair enough.’’ I nod ‘’ How has she been?’’

‘’ I don’t really know. Honestly, I’m actually really worried Elliot. I know she counts on you and I know you care for her, a lot,’’ she implies ‘’ So please don’t give up’’

‘’ I had no intentions to.’’ I smile and turn to the stairs ‘’ Well I’m going up, see you later’’

‘’ Call me if you need anything’’ she says after me as I reach the top of the stairs

‘’ Will do!’’

I walk to Alison’s room, whistling. I put my hand on the doorknob and push. Nothing. It doesn’t budge. Shit. Shit.

‘’ Ali?! Alison?!’’ I knock frantically on the door ‘’ Ali! Open the door dammit!’’ Why is she not answering?! ‘’ Please! No… this can’t be happening!’’ I curse myself

Jason. They share a joined bathroom! I go to his door and knock. He opens up ‘’ Hey El-‘’

‘’ Hey Jason! Just need to go through here real quick!’’ I push past him and into the bathroom and then open the door that gives on Ali’s room.

‘’ ALI! NO!’’ I run to her and knock the razor out of her hand. She looks at from her empty hand, to her rolled up sleeve, to me in utter shock.

‘’ Ali?’’ I hear Jason and Cece behind me

She just goes down to her bed and curls up into a ball in the middle of it.

‘’ I’ve got this guys… I’ll call you if I need’’ I dismiss them

They look at me hesitantly until I nod my head assuring it’s fine and they begrudgingly turn away, shutting the door behind them. I look to Alison, to the razor back to Alison. I shake my head forcing the tears away. I pick up the razor and throw it out the window. I look outside for a bit, into the Hastings’ garden, trying to calm myself. The house is empty. I know because Spencer texted us she was going to be out of town for the weekend with her family at their lake house. I face Alison again, or rather I face her back. I swallow long and hard, chocking back the tears from the pain of seeing her like this. 

I make my way over to her and sit on her bed. I rest my back against her headboard and turn her into my chest as she holds on to me and I tighten my grip around her. I stroke her hair and her back softly, letting her release her fears. I know right now she just needs me to be there. Even if it isn’t the way I’d wish, it’s good enough for me and I’m happy I can be her shoulder to cry on. 

Half an hour later, when I feel like she’s finally calmed down enough, I speak up ‘’ Wanna tell me what happened, sweetie?’’ She just buries her head further into my chest

‘’ I want to help’’ I kiss the top of her head ‘’ I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me’’ I lean my cheek against her head. I feel her take a few deep breaths and lift her hand to her cheeks as she dries away the last of the tears

‘’ I’m useless… I’m unloveable… It’s all my fault! ’’ she whimpers

‘’ Hey! No! Don’t say that!’’ I support her ‘’ That’s not true Ali! You did nothing wrong!’’

‘’ I did! This is karma for all the things I did back then! This is what I get it! I deserve it!’’ she cries 

I pull away slightly and lift her chin up to me ‘’ No. Nobody deserves this. Back then was almost 3 years ago, you were a kid. Now you’re a strong, kind, caring, beautiful woman’’ I delicately run my thumb across her cheek ‘’ This isn’t karma. She did you wrong and you deserve so much more than her. You deserve someone who will treat you like a Queen, the way you should be treated. You deserve someone that’ll drop everything just to answer a text from you. You deserve someone who never even for a second doubts their feelings for you. You deserve happiness.’’ I glance down at her cute cheeks, her beautiful eyes, her pink lips ‘’You’re incredible and no one, and I mean no one, has the right to tell you the opposite’’ I stare into her eyes and bite my lip to stop myself from doing something stupid. Hold it in you idiot. She snuggles back into me and whispers a soft ‘’ Thank you’’

‘’ That’s what I’m here for, Ali…’’ I stay silent for a little while ‘’ Try to come to school tomorrow, please, for me.’’

‘’ I don’t know, Eli…’’

‘’ I’ll be here every step of the way. I’ll come and get you, I’ll walk with you to every class, I’ll even wait outside the toilets for you! Just please come back.’’ I beg ‘’I can’t stand watching you hurt yourself over something you have no fault in. Please. Alison. For me.’’ I pause ‘’For you’’ 

‘’ Ok…’’ she replies in a small voice

‘’ Really?’’ I look down at her excited

‘’ Really’’ she says looking up at me with a smile. A real smile. One I haven’t seen in weeks and brightens up the room and my world.


	55. Friends

Emily’s POV

‘’ So what’s new with you?’’

‘’ Not much… Kinda been just hanging around my house, not really doing anything. The depression from this break-up is just taking over my whole time, my whole life’’ I answer the girls

‘’Ugh! Not you too!’’ 

‘’ Hanna!’’ Spencer and Aria yell at her and I see them glare at her through the laptop screen

‘’ What do you mean not me too???’’ I know very well what they meant, I just don’t want it to be true. They all just stay silent, Hanna looking down, Aria biting her nails and Spencer looking anywhere but at me, well the screen. ‘’ Someone better tell me right now what the hell is happening!’’ I demand

‘’ We have to tell her…’’ Aria looks at the other two girls

‘’ No, Aria, we don’t!’’ Spencer protests

‘’ I think we should, Spencer. She has the right to know…’’ Hanna agrees with Aria

‘’ What the hell happened?! Please, just tell me!’’ 

‘’ But Elliot sa-‘’

‘’ Elliot?!’’ I shriek. No! They can’t be hooking up! No. No. No. ‘’ NO! Please tell me they’re not…’’ I’m incapable of finishing my sentence

‘’ What? Oh no!’’ Spencer reassures me ‘’ Elliot said that Ali doesn’t want you to know… And I think we should respect her wishes’’

‘’ Please, Spencer… I’m begging you! I need her back in my life, I’m miserable. I want to help her… Please let me’’ I beg a soft tear rolling down my cheek

‘’ Ugh… You and your puppy dog eyes… I swear’’ she throws her hands in the air ‘’ Go ahead… Tell her’’

‘’ Ok… Um so…’’ Aria hesitates

‘’ Spit it out’’ I say

‘’ Alison was cooped up in her room for 3 weeks. She didn’t come back to school this week. She was silent the whole time. Barely said a word or ate. One day, Elliot went to check up on her’’ Again, why is it always him? ‘’ And she’d closed her door and she wouldn't open it, so he went through Jason’s and charged into her room and she had a razor in her hand and he knocked it out before she could do anything!’’ she finishes really fast

I put my hand over my mouth as I feel my heart clench ‘’ I did this to her…’’ I mutter as I feel water pooling in my eyes ‘’ She tried to hurt herself?’’ I gulp and they just nod sympathetically ‘’ W-why?’’ I stutter

‘’ That’s not up to us to tell you Emily… I wish we could but that’s too private’’ Aria says

‘’ Fine. Then I’ll call her. I need to start winning her back anyways!’’ I tell them

‘’ Don’t’’ Spencer warns ‘’ Don’t Em. She needs to breathe. You both need space, be apart for a little bit’’

‘’ You don’t think 1,675 miles is enough!’’ I vociferate (A/N I checked the distance, how sad am I… )

‘’ That’s not what I meant! Em, she just started getting back on her feet. Give her some time before you jump the gun’’

‘’ I need her Spencer… I’ve been going crazy! I have no one here to keep me sane! I need her!’’ 

‘’ What about Quinn?’’

‘’ Spencer!’’ now it was Hanna and Aria’s turn to scowl at her

‘’ No. It’s fine. Low punch but I deserved it. I haven’t spoken to Quinn since I messed up. She was the only person I could truly open up to over there and now I have no one.’’

‘’ I’m sorry, Em. I wish I was there with you’’

‘’ It’s okay Hanna, you’ve done your part, you’ve done enough of heavy lifting. It’s more than I could say for some’’ I frown at Spencer

‘’ Look, I’m sorry Emily. But that’s my sister. You hurt her. Really badly. Even I couldn’t break through to her. Please. Just wait.’’

‘’ It’s been 4 weeks, Spencer’’

‘’ Em… Spencer has a point. It took her 4 weeks to come back down to earth, don’t snatch the ground from beneath her feet when her footing is still loose’’

‘’ Really Aria? Metaphors??? Now is not the time!’’ Hanna huffs ‘’ Em… Give it another week or so… We’ll let you know when it’s safe ok? Don’t haste into anything…’’

‘’ I won’t promise anything’’

‘’ Not like you could keep it’’ Spencer mutters we all stare at her incredulously ‘’ I’m sorry! That was the last one! I swear’’ She surrenders

‘’ Whatever… I’ve got homework to do. I’ll see y’all later’’

‘’ ‘y’all’? Really?’’ Aria raises her eyebrow

‘’ Sorry, sorta picked it up’’

‘’ Uh huh… Bye Em’’

‘’ Bye’’ the other two say

‘’ Bye girls! Love you’’ I switch the skype off and move over to my desk where the load of homework awaits

‘’ Ugh… This is so not useful’’ I complain

 

* 2 days later *

Alison’s POV

Friday at last! I’ve been waiting for this day for yeeaaars. The week had been tough but school had helped me kept my mind off of everything and I could slowly feel myself falling into a routine. She’d stopped texting me. I was relieved but also hurt. I thought she would fight more for me. But I’m happy she isn’t because I just wouldn’t be able to cope with it… I want her back, I do, but every time I’m reminded of what she did, of her betrayal and it makes me sick to the stomach and I feel the pain start to come over me again. And I can’t take that pain anymore so I need to move on.

Everyone’s been really cool this week, not really mentioning it or talking about her but Elliot has been following me around as he said he would. It was cute and charming at first but now it’s just plain annoying. I mean, I woke up he was there for breakfast, he drove me to and from school every day, he was outside my classes when I was done and he waited for me when I went to pee… Like I need a fucking break! I mean it’s sweet that he cares that much, and okay it may be cause he’s a little biased when it comes to me, but from the outside it looks creepy.   
As soon as the final bell rings, I charge out of my classroom, hoping to leave before anyone sees me.

‘’ Alison! Hey! Wait!’’ he calls after me

‘’ Dammit… Too late’’ I mutter to myself as I stop and wait for him to catch up.

‘’ Hey! Where were you going?’’ he asks

‘’ Home… Duh’’ 

‘’ Ok, well I need to drop this off in my locker and we can go’’ he smiles

‘’ Actually, I want to walk home today’’

‘’ Well that’s fine, I’ll meet you there then’’

I chuckle slightly and shake my head 

‘’ What? What’s funny? Do I have something stuck in my teeth?’’ he covers his mouth with his hand

‘’ No, you idiot’’ I laugh as I pull his hand down ‘’ It’s just I want to go home alone and then be at home alone for a little… I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate all the help you’ve given to me but I just need a bit of me time’’ his eyes fall to my hand on his arm and he quickly looks back up. I stare into his eyes before taking my hand away and coughing awkwardly ‘’ Please. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Aria and Jay will be next door having a home date night. If anything goes wrong they’re there’’ I turn and we walk out side by side

‘’ You sure? ‘’

‘’ Yes, I’m sure. I’m sorry you had to babysit me’’ 

‘’ Hey it’s no big deal, I wasn’t babysitting you, I was doing what anyone does for someone they care about’’

‘’ Either way, I’m happy you did. I truly am. But I want to spend some time alone.’’ I smile apologetically ‘’But thank you!’’ I say as I hug him ‘’ For everything’’ somehow I found the confidence to peck his cheek as I let go of him 

I turn around swiftly and start walking away but not before hearing ‘’ Always’’

I keep going and swallow my pain. ‘ Always’ that was Emily’s line… I gulp, shake the thoughts out of my head, stand straight, head high and keep nicely strolling home on this sunny spring day.

Once home, I head to the backyard and see Jason and Aria sitting in the gazebo. Yes, that’s right the one I was supposedly ‘buried’ under.

‘’ Hey guys!’’ I wave at them

‘’ Hey Ali!’’ Jason looks past me ‘’ Where’s Elliot?’’

‘’ Home probably’’ I shrug

‘’ Wait you mean your bodyguard left you’’ he says sarcastically, raising an eyebrow

‘’ Haha! Very funny!’’ I stick my tongue out ‘’ No… I told him to leave me alone this weekend. I have to stop relying on others to make me feel better so yeah, I’m going to try and find a somewhat normal life again’’ 

‘’ Good for you Ali!’’ Aria chirps ‘’ So what you gonna do?’’

‘’ Just chill in my room today but tomorrow I think I’m gonna go for a run. I need to do exercise, I haven’t done sports since, well since then’’ I answer looking down

‘’ Mind if I come with you?’’ Aria wonders

‘’ No, not at all. I mean it kinda defeats the purpose of me being on my own’’

‘’ Oh right’’ 

‘’ But you can come’’ I finish

‘’ Cool thanks’’

‘’ Anyways I’m going to leave you two to your date. Ciao!’’ 

I walk back inside the house, grab an orange and run up to my room. I drop my bag on my desk, turn on my music, kick my shoes off and jump on my bed.  
But just as I sit down I hear my phone start ringing my bag. I bet it’s Elliot! I swear now I’m annoyed! I get up and hurry to find my phone not bothering to look at the caller ID

AD: Elliot… I appreciate looking out for me but please don’t call me or text me this weekend!

EF: It’s not Elliot

My eyes go wide at the sound of that voice I hadn’t heard in so long… She sounds broken… Oh my god… No… I can’t… I have to hang up… Oh my god… Shit! What do I do

EF: Alison, you still there? 

Alison. Ouch. Full-named. I nod.  
Right. Phone. She can’t see me.

AD:Y-yeah, I’m-I’m still he-here

EF: Oh OK

The line goes silent for a while and I decide to say something

AD: Listen, Emily EF: Listen, Ali

AD: Sorry, you first EF: Sorry, you first

I smile and look down, nervous as hell. I hear her chuckle a little

EF: You’re blushing aren’t you?

AD: What?! No…

EF: Yes! You totally are! Haha! It’s okay, Alison

AD: Uh huh

I can’t let myself get roped in again, no matter how charming she is. I have to stand my ground and stay strong

EF: So, um, how have you been?

I bite my lip nervously. Do I tell her the truth? Do I lie? Do we pretend like we didn’t just tear each other’s hearts out?

AD: I’ve been worse but I’ve been better. You?

That works. Sort of. 

EF: I’ve been better but I’ve been worse

A sneaky grin finds it’s way on my lips and I quickly wipe it off. 

EF: Listen, Alison, I’m sorry about everything I’ve put you through… Just don’t do anything to yourself, please.

Anger started boiling inside of me

AD: THEY TOLD YOU?!?!?! 

EF: Yeah, but Al-

AD: No! Emily! They had no right to tell you that! I told them not to say anything!

EF: Alison! They’re my best friends and you once were too! And you said one day we could find our way back to being friends. How is that possible, if you don’t tell me these things?

AD: What was I supposed to say??? ‘’ Hey, Emily! I know we haven’t spoken in 4 weeks because you cheated on me but I thought I should let you know that I almost harmed myself because I thought that pain could take away the one I felt inside of me! But I didn’t because my friend stopped me!’’

EF: I’m sorry, you’re right Alison… But please, don’t do that to yourself. No matter how bad things get… I wouldn’t stand the pain

AD: I couldn’t stand the pain either…

A tear finds its way down my cheeks and I quickly wipe it away. Now is not the time for this! Come on! Stay strong!

AD: So, what’s new with you?

She senses I want to change the subject and so starts talking about school, swimming and before I know it, we’re falling into conversation like before. I learn about her crazy flight home adventure, it took her a day to get home because she missed her flight and then the next one got delayed by a few hours and then that plane had to go down in Dallas because something was wrong in Austin. So she took a bus to Austin where she sat next to a granny that kept talking to her about her grandkids and showing her pictures. I was laughing my face off as she was telling the story. 

EF: Glad to know my misery makes you laugh so much! She went on for hours on end! I swear I don’t think she noticed when I went to pee!

AD: I’m sorry, Emily but come on that’s hilarious

EF: Looking back yeah but it wasn’t then! I swear I thought she was gonna chew my ear off! It was terrible! 

‘’ Alison, who you on the phone with?’’ Jason comes in my room 

AD: Gimme 2 seconds yeah?

EF: Yeah sure, no worries

I put my phone on mute so she couldn’t hear 

‘’ It’s… Um.. It’s Emily’’ I say shamefully

‘’ Emily? But-‘’

‘’ I know. I thought it was Elliot so I picked up and it turned out to be her… But I’m not letting her back in I swear, it’s just friends. Anyways what did you want?’’

‘’ Sure whatever you say…’’ he doesn’t look very convinced and to be honest even I doubt what I’m saying. She’s just so… Emily ‘’Just want to let you know dinner is takeaway, the parents aren’t home till late and well the food is here basically’’

‘’ Already?’’ I wonder surprised 

‘’ Yeah, it’s 8 already Ali’’

‘’ Shit… Ok, well I’ll be done in a second’’ I tell him, he just nods closing the door behind me

AD: Hey sorry, Jason was telling me dinner is ready

EF: Oh Ok, well in that case, I’ll leave you to it. It was nice talking to you again Alison, I missed it

AD: Em, it’s still Ali to you and yeah, I agree… Maybe we can do this whole friends thing

EF: Yeah… Um… Maybe we can, Aliso-Ali, I mean Ali… Bye, ALI

I giggle a little at her emphasis and shake my head

AD: Bye Em

I hear her hit the end call button and as the line goes dead, I stare blankly at my phone in my hands

‘’ I love you Emily Catherine Fields’’

I let out a sigh, rub my hand over my face and head downstairs, leaving my phone behind and deciding that was the phone call I needed for closure. Now time to move on.

 

Emily’s POV

AD: Hey sorry, Jason was telling me dinner is ready

EF: Oh Ok, well in that case, I’ll leave you to it. It was nice talking to you again Alison, I missed it

AD: Em, it’s still Ali to you and yeah, I agree… Maybe we can do this whole friends thing

Friends. Right. Well at least she’s made herself clear. At least, I know where she stands. I cringe and for a second my breath is caught in my throat. 

EF: Yeah… Um… Maybe we can, Aliso-Ali, I mean Ali… Bye, ALI

I hear her giggle and it breaks my heart a little more 

AD: Bye Em

I hit the end call button and as the line goes dead, I stare blankly at my phone in my hands

‘’ I love you Alison Lauren DiLaurentis’’

Spencer was right. As usual.

Hope breeds eternal misery.


	56. Feelings and Shit

Emily’s POV

Ok… So now I’m in deep shit. 4 days had gone by since the phone call with Ali and since then there had been no more drama… But that didn’t last long. 

Here I am, in the toilets with a beautiful blonde cheerleader who’s just locked the door on me. Crap

‘’ Hey Quinn! Wassup?’’ I try casually

‘’ Wassup?’’ she looks at me annoyed ‘’ Wassup is that you’ve been avoiding me for a month and a half Emily! You can’t ignore me forever! It happened, okay?-‘’

‘’ I know I shouldn't have done that. I’m sorry!‘’

‘’ You’re sorry? Oh wow… Ok’’ she had tears pooling in her eyes ‘’ I’m not.’’ I look at her quizzically ‘’ I’m not sorry that it happened, Em. I’d been wanting to kiss you since you got here and I was drunk enough that night to have the courage to do it!!’’

‘’ Woah…’’ I scratch my neck a little overwhelmed

‘’ I know it wasn’t right because you’re with Ali’’

‘’ Was’’ I correct her, looking into her hypnotising hazel eyes

‘’ You broke up?’’

‘’ Yeah I told her about what happened…’’

‘’ Oh my god… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have- Em, it’s my fault’’

‘’ No, it’s not.’’ I delicately drop my hand on her arm ‘’I could’ve stopped it but I didn’t.’’ I gulp a little… What am I doing…

‘’ I shouldn’t have come on to you though… If I hadn’t then you’d still be together’’

‘’ Listen, Quinn, whether we want it to or not everything happens for a reason.’’ For a moment our eyes meet and a surge of nervousness takes over me. Breathe Em. It’s just Quinn ‘’Alison and I are on good terms now.’’ Her head looks back down in disappointment ‘’We’re not together and we both think it’s time to move on.’’ I lift her chin up, wiping away a few stray tears that had found their way down… I have no idea where I’m going with this. What on earth am I even doing??? ‘’It’s not your fault that I betrayed her trust. I’m the one who cheated, not you’’ 

She releases a breath and her shoulders relax a little 

‘’Is that why you ignored all my texts and you’ve been running from me? Because you felt guilty, right?’’ I nod my head ‘’I haven’t known you long Em, but I know you better than you think’’ she moves closer to me and only a few centimetres are in between us… Oh shit… Not good… Don’t do it Em.

‘’ There’s that… But that wasn’t the only reason’’ Don’t fucking say it Em, this is going to ruin everything. Shut up, Emily! 

‘’ Wh-What do you mean?’’ she stutters as I get closer still

‘’ I mean’’ I lean in and capture her lips in mine. Holy shit. I really shouldn’t be doing this. Before I pull away, she starts kissing me back and I get lost in the kiss. God, it feels good to be wanted again! She’s a damn good kisser! How do I not remember her being this good? I slip my tongue in her mouth and a fight for dominance breaks out. I don’t feel the fireworks I used to with Alison but I do feel satisfied, content, good, happy. Honestly, it feels great! She walks back pulling me by my shirt and leans against the wall. My hands find their way on her waist and hers are on my face. Our lips move together a little clumsily at first but quickly find a rhythm to keep to. I feel light all of a sudden, like this kiss was all I needed. Maybe this is the beginning of a new chapter… Maybe I should move on. Maybe this is how it all starts…

 

Aria’s POV

‘’ No way! I can’t believe you actually got told off by a Queen’s guard for being rude to your mum!’’ Ali laughs at Elliot

‘’ I was 4! But you know what the funniest is that I actually hid behind her afterwards’’ He chuckles

Alison puts her hand on his arm and leans in to him, laughing her head off. Tears of laughter brimming her eyes

‘’ I don’t know which one’s better! This or you falling in the Thames’’ she roars

(A/N true stories all this happened to my brother when he was a kid)

‘’ Yeah, I was pretty reckless as a kid!’’ he admits

‘’ Hey guys!’’ Noel sits beside me

‘’ Hey’’ we answer him and Alison and Elliot quickly fall back into their hysterics

‘’ How you been?’’ I ask him

He smiles a little and stares at me ‘’ I’ve been good, lonely, but good’’ 

‘’ I’m sure there’s a girl out there for you’’ I rub his back in comfort

‘’ I know there is…’’ he looks at me and I can’t help but feel slightly awkward. He’s not talking about me, right? I mean we hooked up once and now I’m dating Jason. ‘’ There’s just a question of finding her’’ he awkwardly continues

‘’ Ok… Well how about I help you find her?’’ I offer

He chuckles and shakes his head a little ‘’ You’re kidding right?’’

‘’ No, it could be fun! Come on! Noel and Aria bonding time!’’ I nudge him with my elbow

‘’ I can’t believe I’m doing this, but sure why not’’ he smiles charmingly

‘’ That’s the spirit!’’ I look back at Elliot and Alison, talking, ignoring the others, Spencer and Caleb are talking about some tech stuff whilst Hanna just watches on… They both seem so engrossed in their conversation, I don’t think they even realise they have hardly touched their food. I turn my head to Noel and look at him questioningly ‘’ What do you think is up with them two?’’

‘’ I don’t really know…’’ he looks at them perplexed ‘’ I mean it’s obvious he’s liked her since his first week here… But her, I think she just sees a confidant in him.’’

‘’ But she confides in us’’ 

‘’ Not the same way though… Up until, I was ‘included’ in your friendship group she came to me with her problems about you girls and Em and all because I was an outsider. And now that I’m not and Elliot it is. She can to talk him without feeling that she’s making him take sides… Plus, we remind her of Emily too much, he met her once briefly and helped her through the whole break-up and kinda saved her from herself. I think it’s normal she’s more attached to him than us at the moment. But it’ll pass, just wait and see’’

‘’ I don’t think so… I think she likes him or feels something for him’’

‘’ What makes you say that?’’ he questions

‘’ Easy. One: she’s touching his arm unnecessarily.’’ I point out ‘’ Two: She’s so into their conversation that she hasn’t spoken to us once and she’s completely ignored your arrival. Three: Back when she had disappeared yet and no one knew she might feel something for Em, not even her, she used to look at her the exact same way

‘’ You’ve got quite an eye to spot all that…’’ 

‘’ What can I say?’’

‘’ But still I don’t buy it… As much as it pains me to say it, Emily was Ali’s whole world. And Emily begged her to never be with Elliot. And, subconsciously, I think she’s gonna stick to that. Plus she loves Emily too much to move on so quickly.’’  
‘’ I think it’s gonna happen.’’

‘’ Wanna bet? 10$ that it definitely won’t happen before graduation!’’

‘’ You’re on’’ I shake his hand

 

* the next day *

Emily’s POV

‘’ I don’t think I can do this, Em!’’ I turn to the hot cheerleader in the passenger seat beside me and grab her hand in both of mine

‘’ Hey… it’s okay, don’t worry. I’m here every step of the way. They’ll be fine with it. And if they’re not then they’re dicks ok?’’

‘’ I’m still scared…’’ she answers looking down. I lift her chin up and let my hand rest of her cheek

‘’ I like you Quinn Fabray. Together we’ll be fine, because that’s what girlfriends are there for’’ I peck her lips real quick and stare into her eyes

‘’ Thank you’’ she unbuckles her seatbelt and before she has time I jump out the car and open her door for her ‘’ Why such a gentle lady!’’ she giggles

‘’ Anything for my girlfriend’’ I grin, I hold my hand out for her and she hesitantly looks around before grabbing it

As we walk down the corridors in our school, people point and whisper amongst themselves. I feel Quinn hold my hand a little tighter and I give her a gentle squeeze to remind her I’m here for her. As we get to my locker the guys are already huddled around it

‘’ Hey guys’’ I say trying to act normal

‘’ Hem Em… And Quinn’’ Finn says looking down at our hands ‘’ So you guys are together now?’’

I was going to answer but Quinn beat me to it ‘’Yup’’ she grabs my face and crashes her lips against mine. Shit, this is hot! She pulls back and I just stand there like an idiot with lips puckered, completely lost

‘’ Knew it would happen… I called it’’ Kurt says

‘’ I’m sure you did Kurt’’ Quinn giggles

They start talking, but I completely zone out and I study her. It’s funny cause she’s the contrary of Ali. Alison acts badass but she’s a true softie, but Quinn, she seems all sweet and innocent but she’s badass as hell and I must say it’s really working for her. I bite my bottom lip a little as my eyes fall to her short skirt and her uniform is a little tight at the boobs making them pop out a little. Yeah, I know, it’s gross that I’m checking her out like that but have you seen her she’s fucking hot! 

‘’ Well if you guys don’t mind, me and my girlfriend are gonna go to class now! Bye!’’ I say pulling her away from the others

As we walk away she looks at me funny ‘’ But Em… we don’t have first period together’’

‘’ I know…’’ I smirk mischievously as I pull her into the the toilets and lock the door ‘’ I just really wanted to do this’’ I pull her close in to my body and start hungrily making out with her like the horndog it seems I’ve become. I rest my hands on her arse and squeeze a little, earning a moan. I take the chance to slip my tongue in. Without breaking the kiss, she moves back and jumps up on the counter where there’s the sinks and wraps her legs around my waist. We keep going for a couple minutes till the bell rings and we jump apart.

‘’ Woah…’’ she bites her lip

‘’ Woah… Defintely’’ I agree a little out of breath 

‘’ We should go.’’ she says hopping off the counter and grabbing my hand

‘’ Uh huh’’ we walk out the door

‘’ Well I’m that way’’ she says pointing behind her

‘’ I’m that way’’ I answer pointing behind me awkwardly 

‘’ Ok, well um see you at lunch then I guess’’ she turns but I quickly grab her arm pulling her into me and kiss her 

‘’ We’ll continue this later’’ I breathe against her lips as she closes her eyes a smile spreading across her face

‘’ Okay…’’ she whispers. She gives me a quick peck on the lips as she goes off to class. My eyes follow her until she rounds the corner and gives me a playful wink. I chuckle a little and shake my head at the ground.

The tardy bell goes all of a sudden. ‘’ Shit!’’ I curse myself and I start running to class


	57. Romance Is Dead

*2 weeks later: Friday 29th April*

Emily’s POV

I’m walking down the school corridor, ready to go home and thinking that I should maybe call Quinn for some fun. It’s hot and heavy with her, like we haven’t slept together yet but I’m working on it. Our make-out sessions are pretty intense, it’s kinda the main thing we do. We tried watching films together and we only ever just watch the first 5, sometimes 10, minutes together before we’re lying on the couch, hands roaming pretty much anywhere and lips clashing. It’s honestly really sexy my relationship with her. It’s loaded with passion, but not the love kind more the lust one. And I love it!

I feel myself get pulled into the the janitor’s closet

‘’ Hey! What the h-?’’ I’m cut off by a pair of lips I’ve got to know very well over the past weeks. I hungrily start kissing back pressing our bodies close together. Suddenly she pulls away but in the dark I can’t see her  
‘’ You know I was just thinking about this’’ I say in what I’m hoping is a sexy voice and I crash our lips back together again resting my hands on her hips and putting her back against the wall. I kiss from the top of her jawline slowly making my way back to her lips

‘’ Em… Stop’’ she pulls away and I look at her confused 

‘’ Um… Ok’’ I take my hands off of her and try and find the switch. When I do I turn the lights on  
I study her face and she’s looking at me nervously

‘’ Babe… What’s up?’’ I grab her hands 

‘’ I think we should break up’’ I immediately let go of her hands

‘’ Sorry what??? You drag me in here for a hot make-out session and then say you want to break up… I don’t get it’’ I push my hand through my hair

‘’ Don’t get me wrong this is great’’ she gestures between us ‘’ I mean it’s fucking hot’’

‘’ Okay… So far I agree with you but I don’t see you’re going with this’’ I raise an eyebrow

‘’ Right… That’s the problem Em… As much as this is hot, it’s just purely physical, there’s no emotion. This isn’t a relationship. 

‘’ Ok… but we can work on that’’ I argue

‘’ Emily… We have to admit this is never going to work. For you, this is a rebound, for me this is a discovery. It’s not a real relationship with feelings and shit’’

‘’ You’re not a rebound’’ I defend

‘’ Em… Please… I don’t mind. Alison was your first love, you don’t just magically get over her. We had fun, it was honestly an awesome hot and sexy two weeks but it’s time you get back to being the Emily you really are, the sweet romantic one who will travel thousands of miles for the one she loves’’ She places her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. I slump as I realise she’s saying the truth… Quinn just happens to be fucking hot and available and I was looking for a distraction so I jumped on her… Literally.

‘’ I can’t be that Emily anymore…’’ I lean on the cupboard behind me ‘’ not without her’’ I shake my head

‘’ Well then you get her back!’’ Quinn tries

‘’ How? When she found out we were dating I’m pretty sure I killed all chances of her ever believing I can be faithful to her!’’ 

‘’ You told her about us?! Why would you do that Em!’’

‘’ I didn’t she found out from Hanna who can’t keep her big mouth shut!’’ I retort ‘’ Either way, I’ve lost her forever’’

‘’ No, you haven’t Emily! You can still make it work. Show her how much she means to you! Show her how much you love her! Show her how much you regret everything, how much you regret the past weeks’’

‘’ I don’t regret them Quinn’’ I cut her

‘’ You might not now but there will come a day when you’ll hate yourself for having given up on Alison for even two weeks. Trust me, I know you remember?’’ she smiles cheekily

‘’ Right… But what can I do Quinn? I mean she pretends like she’s fine with us but I can see it in her eyes she’s hurting and I know I’m the last person who she wants to help her’’

‘’ That may be true but I think you’re the only one who can help her. Come on think Emily… There has to be something, something you guys always talked about doing together or that you’d dreamed of doing or that you were meant to do… Come on, Em! Where’s your romantic side gone?’’

‘’ It’s lost somewhere with my heart in Rosewood’’ I sigh depressed ‘’ But you’re right… I need to figure something out…’’ I stand straight and hug her ‘’ Thank you Quinn… One day, you are gonna make someone the happiest person alive’’ I whisper, I pull away and kiss her cheek.

I walk out of the janitor’s closet. I take a deep breath before heading outside. I keep racking my brain for an idea on what to do to get her back… I get inside my car and turn on the radio, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift is playing and I smile a little to myself. Ali idolises her. Before long, I find myself singing along 

Say you'll remember me  
Standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe  
Red lips and rosy cheeks  
Say you'll see me again even if it's just in your wildest dreams  
Wildest dreams

Oh my god! I know! I know how I’m going to win her back! Of course! Why didn’t I think about that earlier?! I smile proudly and start bursting out the lyrics in joy!

You see me in hindsight  
Tangled up with you all night  
Burnin' it down  
Some day when you leave me  
I bet these memories follow you around  
You see me in hindsight  
Tangled up with you all night  
Burnin' it down  
Some day when you leave me  
I bet these memories follow you around

I’m gonna get her back! This is it! Emily and Alison! I’ve got this!


	58. They're Never Really Just Friends

* the next week*

Alison’s POV

‘’ Get your tickets for your Fairytale Prom! Saturday 14th May! The only day of high school you’ll want to remember but won’t ‘’ I yell from behind the booth

‘’ Hi there, I’d like to buy two tickets’’ Elliot smiles to me

‘’ Two tickets? Who’s the lucky girl?’’ I mock him handing him two tickets ‘’ That’s 100$’’ 

‘’ Just a friend ‘’ he answers handing me the money

‘’ Oh come on they’re never just a friend…’’ I smirk but inside I feel uneasy, I feel a sudden pang of… of something in my chest… What the fuck is happening?

‘’ No, that’s true but I think that’s what she wants, so that’s what I’ll take’’ 

So he likes this girl. Ok good for him. I’m happy for him. So he doesn’t have a supposed crush on me anymore, that’s a good thing right? 

Yeah, of course it is. It’s great! It’s good he’s finally feeling comfortable here and finding himself a girl!

‘’ Well I’m sure she’ll be very happy to go with you’’ I smile but it feels fake and I don’t like that, not one bit 

‘’ Well, I’m just helping a friend out so I hope she appreciates the gesture… Anyways I’ll catch you at lunch’’ he waves as he walks away

‘’ Yeah bye…’’ I wave back

*lunchtime*

‘’ Hey guys!’’ I greet everyone I sit at my usual spot between Elliot and Noel

‘’ Hey!’’ the answer

‘’ So Elliot have you asked your ‘friend’ yet? ’’ I make the quote marks gesture 

‘’ Actually… No, I was just about to’’ he gets hand in his pocket and the whole table goes quiet as he holds them out in front of him and stares me right in the eyes ‘’ Alison, will you do me the honour of going to prom with me’’ I gasp a little and feel my heart flutter a little… no this can’t be happening, no, no no ‘’ as a friend?’’ he finishes with a grin. 

Somehow that last part stung a little but it didn’t stop me from nodding ‘’ Of course you idiot!’’ 

‘’ Great so now everyone has a date!’’ Hanna claps her hands

‘’ Noel doesn’t ‘’ I point out

‘’ Actually he does!’’ Aria announces

‘’ I thought you were going with Jason?’’ I ask suspiciously 

‘’ She is…’’ Noel says in a ‘duh’ tone whilst throwing me a warning glance ‘’ I’m um going um with Cece’’ he hesitates 

‘’ WHAT??? ‘’ I shriek 

‘’ Yeah… Well her and I have been getting along lately and I thought why not…’’

‘’ So now you’re dating my sister? You know who used to be a guy?’’

‘’ I’m not dating her. We’re just friends. Plus, I don’t care. So what she was a guy, she’s a girl now and that’s all that counts’’

‘’ They’re never really just friends though…’’ Elliot whispers to me and I feel a slight shiver go down my spine and I feel myself blush. I forgot I said that shit.

‘’ Well I’m proud of you for saying that Noel… Why haven’t you told me you and Cece were getting close?’’ I smirk suggestively

‘’ I thought you had enough drama didn’t want to add any’’ he says before leaning and saying something low enough for only me to hear ‘’ Plus, you had a little distraction of you’re own you were focused on’’

I turn my head alarmingly as a smug look comes over his face and I hit his arm slightly ‘’ That’s not true!’’

‘’ Sure it isn’t!’’ he laughs 

It’s not. Elliot and I are friends. That’s it. 

‘ They’re never really just friends though’ a voice in my head tells me

Fuck… Am I attracted to him? There’s nothing wrong with that right? Then why does it feel like it? Emily and I called it quits and she’s moved on. She was dating Quinn! Out of all people! She dated the reason we broke up! Clearly she’s over me and she doesn’t care! Plus we agreed to just be friends. So I mean, technically there should be no resentment from either one of us, but still she could’ve had another new girlfriend not that slutty cheerleader… 

Breathe, Ali… You don’t care anymore, YOU broke up with HER. You shouldn’t have to worry about having feelings for someone else… It’s completely normal

 

 

As Elliot and I walk home together, I get lost in my thoughts. Elliot is great, he’s sweet, he’s charming, he’s smart, he’s witty and that sexy British accent of his! I don’t see why I won’t let myself move on with him… He’s literally the perfect guy for me. I know he’ll take care of me, he’s always there at the right time, he knows what to say/do at exactly the right moment Maybe deep down I know I still love Emily, even after what she did, and I know that moving on would officially end us… Ugh! I fucking hate emotions! Things were so much easier when I literally didn’t have any feelings and strung guys along! 

‘’ Ali! Alison!’’ Elliot stops in front of me 

‘’ Huh? What?’’ I snap out of my daydream

‘’ We’re in front of your house’’ he points 

‘’ Oh right…’’ I shake my head ‘’ Sorry, I zoned out again…’’

‘’ Don’t worry it’s fine… Zoning out for good reasons only I hope?’’ he worries

‘’ Yeah, I think so…’’ I blush looking at the floor. Maybe he won’t notice

‘’ Good then if that’s the case. Well I’ll see you later… Bye!’’ he starts to walk away but I hold him back and turn him around. Our eyes meet and we hold the connection. I feel a spark little spark and immediately break the stare and take my arm off

‘’ Thank you!’’ I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. I feel him hesitate for a bit before he wraps his arm around my lower back and hugs me back. This feels nice, safe, almost natural… 

‘’ For what?’’ he whispers 

‘’ For everything’’ I breathe against his neck and as I pull away I grab his hands

‘’ Anytime, that’s what I’m here for. I’m not going anywhere. I swear’’ He squeezes my hand and our eyes met yet again. I feel myself being drawn to him as he leans in-Nope! Not happening! Nope! I pull away   
‘’ Well bye!’’ I wave as I run to my front door

‘’ Um yeah. Bye’’ he waves back puzzled. I close the door behind me and rest my back against it!

hands of love Miley Cyrus

‘’ Ugh! You idiot!’’ I yell to the empty house I rub my hands over my face a couple times in frustration and go up to my room.

I bend down next to my bed and put my hand under it, blindly searching for something. Suddenly, I feel the rectangular form of a box under my touch, I pull it out and place it on my bed as I sit on it.

I trace my fingers over the writing in the heart on top of the box: 

AD+EF   
Forever and Always

I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I gulp nervously and open it. I swallow painfully as I shudder goes through my body at the sight before me. I start pulling out the items one by one.

Her name bracelet she’d left at the Kissing Rock when I went missing and I’d had Shana ask her to meet me there. The card from the restaurants where we had our first date and then the do-over to that date… A picture of us when we first met when we were 12. She was already looking at me lovingly. I bite my bottom lip trying desperately to hold back the tears. A picture of us a week before I went missing (find pic of them two from s1). A picture of us when we were dating we’re sitting down on her bed facing each other, our legs crossed underneath, we were kissing… Hanna took that picture, I remember as I choke back a sob and smile tearfully. The last picture was one of us at Noel’s New Year party, before everything got complicated, before we knew life was hard and that sometimes the bump in the road was over 1 600 miles long… Before everything went to shit, basically… I pull out the copy of Great Expectations that I was reading when Emily and I first kissed at the library… Yes I sealed it big deal! It has meaning-or had…. I can’t help it anymore to let the waterworks begin.. I pull out the last thing from the box, the Emison quote book and it’s too much for me… 

‘’ Fuck you, Emily!’’ I yell throwing the book against the wall ‘’ You promised! I fucking hate you! Let me move on! I should be allowed to as well! Let me like him! Let go of me! Give me my heart back! It’s not yours anymore!’’ I push the box off my bed and fall on my bed on my stomach. I start angrily hitting my pillow ‘’ Just give me my heart back… Please’’ I beg as I fall weakly into my pillow and let the tears dry out


	59. P.Y.T

*Prom Night*

Alison's POV

'' Tonight's going to be amazing! I can't wait!'' Hanna squeals as Aria does her nails

'' Stop fidgeting Han!'' Aria grunts

'' Sorry... I can't believe Noel and Cece are dating! Like I did so not expect that!'' Hanna gushes

'' They're not dating!'' Aria protests

'' Woah! Calm down there tiger'' Spencer defends Hanna

'' Yeah, why so protective...'' I glance at her suggestively

'' I'm not being protective...'' she claims

'' Yes you were'' Spencer insists

'' Do you have thing for Noel? What about Jason?'' I say to her

'' What! No! I love your brother, Ali, I really do!'' She sighs and puts the nail brush down ''But he's just been distant lately and I think he's going to break up with me'' she looks down at her hands ''I've been spending time with Noel trying to hook him up with someone and well he made me forget about my relationship problems plus I've realised he's a really good guy'' Oh if only you'd realised that earlier '' And well I feel bad now...''

'' Why would you feel bad?'' Spencer enquires '' It's not like you had a thing with him, really''

I open my eyes wide alarmingly '' You knew?!'' I say baffled

'' Yeah...'' she grimaces slightly

'' You've known all this time and you didn't say anything to me!'' I yell at her

'' Known what?'' Hanna asks

'' Noel had a crush on me'' she whispers

'' Whaaaat?! And you didn't go out with him?! You've been in love with him since like forever!'' Hanna jumps up

'' Well by the time I found out I was already happy with Jay but now I'm not so sure anymore...'' she mutters the end

'' Aria, Jason loves you... I don't know why he's acting like this but trust me he is not breaking up with you the other day I heard him on the phone telling his friend that he wouldn't come to his wedding because he wanted to take his incredible girlfriend to prom. ''

'' He did?''

'' Yes. He did.'' I nod affirmatively '' Now stop worrying. Noel is fine now. Jason and you are fine. Everyone is fine. Everyone is in a happy healthy relationship.''

'' Except you.'' Spencer points out

'' I have feeling that won't last long'' Hanna smirks

'' Elliot? Right?'' Aria grins at Han

'' Elliot?! Really???'' Spencer says

'' Yeah! Like I saw it coming tbh!'' Hanna announces proudly

'' Humhum''' I cough '' Elliot and I aren't going to date''

'' Yeah right... And we're not going to prom tonight'' Aria dismisses sarcastically

'' No! Seriously, it's not going to happen'' I maintain

'' Who are you trying to convince Alison, us or yourself?'' Spencer folds her arms and raises her eyebrows

'' Yeah Ali, who you trying to convince?'' Aria does the same as Spencer

'' Yeah Ali... Who?'' Hanna imitates them too. All three stand there in front of me, with their arms folded across their chest and an eyebrow raised. They are staring me down. And I'm not liking this. It's really intimidating in a weird nervous way. Fucking peer pressure, I swear

'' If I admit to being attracted to him, will you guys drop it?'' I attempt

'' I knew it! '' Aria exclaims as her and Hanna high-five

'' So what does this means on the whole Emily front, if you don't mind me asking?'' Spencer asks me

'' It means nothing... Yes, I feel attracted to him but I can't move on. Emily was-is, I don't know, a huge part of my life and I just can't let that go''

'' Ali, I hate to break it to you but you and Em only dated for like 6 months it's not that long''

'' You're right, it's not Spence'' I scowl at her '' But she loved me since we were 15, maybe 14, I've loved her for over a year now. And our love was something big and beautiful, you can't just let that go...''

'' Ali-'' Spencer starts again

'' No, Spencer, I'm not saying I'm never going to move on. Eventually, I will. Emily and I agreed to be friends and I know I need to move on. The way she betrayed me was too much after everything I went through. I'm trying really hard to forget, I am. I mean me feeling something for Elliot is a start isn't it?'' I look between the three girls who just nod and say soft '' yes' '' and '' sure's '' '' I don't know how long it'll take me. I mean Elliot probably won't wait forever and I don't want to make him wait. But the thing is Emily still has this hold on me and it scares me''

'' Ali... Can I ask you something?'' Aria asks and I nod her ahead '' Do you think you're scared that if you move on, like properly, as in you find someone new, it's officially over for you and Em?''

I stare at her my mouth slightly open. That was exactly it. I just had never wanted to say it out loud '' Yes'' I croak

'' Would it be so bad if you were officially over?'' Hanna makes her way towards me and gently places her hand on my arm soothingly rubbing it

'' I don't know...'' I hang my head low and feel Hanna's arm wrap around me reassuringly

'' It's ok, you'll figure it out Ali'' Spencer strokes my hair as I pull away from the hug

'' Yeah, I guess'' I put on a half-hearted smile and look at my friends '' But for now that's enough drama! I believe we have the night of our life to get ready for!''

'' Yeah!'' they cheer

'' Ok, Hanna I need to finish your nails! Alison, you're doing Spencer's make-up! Afterwards, Hanna you do my make-up and Ali, I'll have to do your hair too babe! Let's go!'' Aria takes charge and we all do what we're told

About an hour later, we're all ready and the doorbell rings. I check my phone: 7:15. Just on time, I smile to myself. We all head downstairs in our dresses.

'' Wait! Wait! Don't open the door just yet!'' my mum comes running through the house a video camera in her hand

'' Really, Mum?''

'' What? I want to record this! Kenneth come see your daughter!'' she shouts for my dad who walks in. She hands him a camera '' Hold this for the moment please''

'' Can I open the door now, Mum?'' I sigh exasperated my hand on the doorknob

She plays with the camera a bit '' Yes, now go'' she says as the doorbell rings again

I open it and see Jason facing me '' What the hell?''

'' Jason???'' Aria pushes past me and jumps in his arms

'' Hey baby girl!'' he hugs her and gives her a small peck on the nose.

'' You know you live here, you dufus right?'' I look at him as if he were stupid. He puts her down and walks in

'' Yes but I wanted to come pick up my girlfriend properly. The way a true gentleman does'' He sticks his tongue out at me

'' Uh huh, a real gentleman'' I shake my head

Toby walks in behind him and greets Spencer, then Caleb who goes towards Hanna. Lastly, Elliot just stands in the doorway, unsure. Noel and Cece were gonna meet us there.

'' Hey'' I greet Elliot awkwardly and take a step towards him

'' Hey... You look... woah... You look incredible'' he compliments me looking me up and down

'' Thanks you don't look too bad yourself, you know for a beast'' I giggle

Right I should've mentioned. The theme of the prom is Fairytales so we're all going dressed as different princesses and princes. Aria is Snow White so Jason just wore a matching dark blue suit with a white shirt and a red tie. Hanna is meant to look like Rapunzel, but I feel like she gives off more of a Cinderella vibe but whatever; Caleb's is in a simple white tux. Spencer is Ariel, she says the green dress symbolises her mermaid life with like algae or something; Toby is in a simple grey suit with a waistcoat. And I'm Belle, which makes Elliot the beast I guess. But he's a good looking beast in an outfit similar to Jason's only he's wearing a gold tie instead.

'' Hey, listen about the other day. I'm sorry I shouldn't have-'' I cut him off

'' No. Don't. It's fine. It's my fault, really. Trust me.'' I grab his hand '' You did nothing wrong'' I smile at him. He smiles back and looks down at our hands.

'' Oh um... I heard about your american tradition of getting corsages so...'' he puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a beautiful light pink rose corsage

'' Wow... It's beautiful'' I whisper as he delicately puts it on my wrist '' Thank you'' I blush a little

'' My pleasure'' he beams. Our eyes lock and I sense nothing but admiration and care reflecting from them. Of course before the moment could even begin to get sweet my mum had to interrupt it '' Picture time!''

He put his hands on my waist from behind and I had to resist the shiver that was threatening to go through my body has he did. We smile at the camera and take one nice picture before we decide to start acting all goofy and doing stupid faces, having a laugh.

Half an hour later, we finally make it to the prom and I admit the entrance looks a little creepy.

'' Gee, Ali this is prom night not Halloween...'' Hanna says

'' You guys aren't looking properly'' I tell them '' Look, see there are some bits that are dark, creepy forests, a perfect spot for people to make out unnoticed.'' I wink at my friends ''And then you have some areas that look like castles interiors like the buffet table or this little bridge or some parts of the dancefloor, for when you want to socialise'' I smile smugly

'' Either way, definitely looks better than my prom'' Jason says

'' Did you even attend your prom?'' I snidely remark

'' Yes, I did. I just don't remember much'' he retorts

'' Anyways, looks like we've lost Haleb already '' I say as I see Hanna running off with Caleb to the woodsy part '' I don't know about you guys but I'm going to dance.''


	60. Happy Endings and Forevers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! So just a heads-up this is the final chapter of this book although there is technically a bonus chapter! Don't worry Emison's story doesnt end here! I'm writing the sequel so don't fret! I assure you Pip gets Estella in the end! Hope you enjoyed the story!

Emily's POV

I sneak myself into the gym going through the back door, trying not get caught. I couldn't buy a ticket cause one: that would mean telling someone my plan and I really needed the element of surprise; and two you have to go to Rosewood High to buy tickets, so I had to kinda crash the prom. But it was for romance so that makes it alright. I walk through trying to find my way out of the 'backstage' part of the prom. Once I'm finally out of some weird woods where a bunch of people were making out, I realise I'm standing in front of a cute little bridge that leads to the dance floor and well the main area of the prom. For a bit, I just stand there and marvel at the scene. Wow... Ali did a great job for this fairytale prom. Dark woods to make out with someone unnoticed, nicely done. And nice castle interiors-like spaces where everyone is socialising. It's incredible and everyone is clearly having a blast. Is there anything this girl can't do?

I keep admiring the fairytale before me as I think of what I'm going to say to her. All I know is that I need her, I love her more than anyone and anything ever. Without her, I don't know who I am. I feel lost, like I'm not needed, like there isn't a reason for me to care about my future or about how people see me. All that matters is the way she sees me. I do it all for her. It's all for her. She's my all. You know it's true love when you become this corny.

I look across the floor trying to spot her. There's so many fucking people! Ugh! There making this really difficult. I'm trying to do a romantic gesture guys here! MOVE PLEASE! I frustrate internally

The music suddenly quiets down and the DJ speaks up '' It's time to grab that special someone to the dance floor and be teenagers in love''

Well I'm trying to find her, dude! I think to myself. A slow song starts playing and I recognise Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul... (you can listen to it if you want)

Everyone slows down and the room is less hectic making it easier for me. I crane my neck until eventually my gaze falls on a beautiful blonde in a beautiful yellow dress. Woah... She's even more beautiful than I remember, I didn't think it was possible. Her hairs fall perfectly down her shoulders, it's got more waves than usual but it looks hella good on her. I can make out her eyes all the way from where I'm standing. They pop out a lot in her dark and heavy make-up, not that I'm complaining. How could I let something so perfect go? I mentally slap myself.

The smile on my face quickly turns into a frown as I realise she's not on her own. She's dancing with some guy, one hand on his shoulder the other holding the hand that isn't on her waist. His back is to me and I can't see him. Who the fuck is this guy? Turn around dammit! Why is she laughing so much? He can't be that funny! That smile is incredible though, it has a way of lighting up the whole room. I can feel my heart beat a little faster

Her face becomes a little more serious as they slowly turn and I see both their profiles... No. Not him. Not Elliot. Out of everyone. Please. No. Dammit. Hey, this probably isn't what it looks like? Maybe they're just friends... There's no way she's with him. Right? I mean friends dance slow songs right? After all, he seemed to be there for her when I fucked up. Maybe this is just some way of thanking him. They're just friends. No way, Ali'd go for the guy I explicitly told her not to, right? Even if I did screw up... She wouldn't go for him, he's not her type... Tall, handsome, dark hair, dark eyes, in good shape, smart... No. She won't go for him. She's only ever just seen him as like a best friend. It's fine. Nothing is going on.

And I'm wrong.

Fuck.

I feel my heart break as I see her lean in and connects their lips. I feel my eyes water, and I bite my lips trying to contain the tears. Fuck me! No! No! Dammit! I clench my fists and swallow hard as I look on. The love of my life is kissing some other guy with quite some passion and it's all my fucking fault. When they pull away she's smiling. My whole world just shatters and it's too much for me to stay... This can't be fucking happening! I turn around and storm out, angrily wiping away the tears from my cheeks

The second I enter my car I hit my steering wheel angrily. Mad at him, mad at her but mainly mad at myself.

'' FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!'' I scream hitting my head back against the seat gripping the steering wheel '' such a fucking idiot!'' I hiccup '' I'm so so so sorry Ali... I wish I could be what you need, what you want... All I want is for you to be happy...'' I swallow painfully and wipe away the continuous flow of tears rolling down my face. '' I didn't meant to hurt you, never in a million years was that what I intended... I was meant to be your forever, you were meant to be mine...'' I rest my head on the wheel '' I guess there's only one thing left for me to do now'' I whisper as I feel the necklace around my neck.

I shake my head and wipe away the tears. I turn the key into the ignition and drive out into the night dark as my soul.

 

Alison's POV

'' Woah...'' I breathe out as we pull away

'' Woah indeed'' he grins at me and I return the smile before I lean in again. I wrap my arms behind his neck and he holds on to my waist as our lips meet for the second time. We slowly start to find a rhythm and become in sync, our lips moving as one. He licks my bottom lip. I know what he wants but I can't help but hesitate... You know what screw it! I'm doing this! I open my mouth slightly and soon our tongues are dancing along the way we were moments ago. I don't get anything near the fireworks I used to get with Emily but I feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach, that's good right? Course it is! This is how the moving on starts! I tell myself. I keep kissing him until I hear our friends behind us

'' Pay up, Noel!'' I stop kissing him and turn around to see Noel reluctantly handing money to Aria

'' Seriously you guys bet on us?'' I say putting my hand on my hip

'' Well it was a way for me to make easy money'' Aria shrugs

'' Unbelievable'' I look at them with amusement

'' Not really, he's had his eyes on you since day 1 and you've clearly been giving him some attention for some time'' I open my eyes wide at Aria and blush profusely

'' Oh really now?'' he says cockily. I can feel him breathing down my neck and it sends shivers through my spine

'' Ok, we're gonna leave you guys to it... Looks like we interrupted the party too soon'' Noel turns Aria around and they walk away

I turn in Elliot's arm and shake my head at the ground before meeting his eyes again. I let one of my hands rest on his cheek

'' What?'' he looks at me suspiciously

I don't answer and just softly place my lips on his. This feels good, something feels a little off balance I'll admit, but I like it. This feels like I'm on the right path.

A couple hours later, Elliot is driving me home. The car is filled with a non-awkward silence and I don't even hesitate to grab his hand. He turns to me a little bit and offers me a charming smile that causes me to blush in giddiness. He turns his head back to the road. Once we arrive in front of my house. He steps out and opens the car door for me

'' Why, what a gentleman...''

'' Always for a Lady like you'' he grins warmly

I giggle a little as we walk to my porch. We both stand in front of the steps just staring at each other.

'' I had a great time tonight'' he finally says whilst shoving a hand in his pocket

'' Yeah me too'' I nod

'' About earlier-''

'' Yeah?''

'' I really like you Alison. And I get if you're not ready for anything yet. I'll wait if you need me too''

I bite my lip a little smiling nervously '' You don't need to wait. I like you too, Elliot. I'm willing to try.'' I grab his blazer and pull him closer to me

'' Are you sure? What about Emily?'' I sense the nervousness in his eyes but for some reason I feel completely at ease with the question

The answer flows out of me without a doubt for some reason and it shocks me '' Emily is my past. Yes, what we had was incredible. But betraying what I valued most, especially when it came to her, was wrong and I'm ready to move on and let that shit go. I'm ready to move on. With you. You're my present.''

'' Really?'' he says with a twinkle of excitement and admiration in his eyes

I raise myself on my tiptoes and peck his lips for a few seconds '' Really''

He rakes his hand through his hair, pulls the other out of his pocket and grabs my hand. '' You have no idea how happy hearing you say that makes me, Ali...'' he caresses my cheek softly and leans in. I close my eyes, my breath caught in my throat at this super romantic moment. I feel him softly press his lips on my cheek for a few seconds and I can't help but smile a little at that incredibly sweet gesture from him

'' Goodnight Alison'' he pulls away and walks back to his car

(You can listen to Echo by Jason Walker here if you wants, it adds to the feels ;) )

I watch him as he drives away before heading up the steps to my front door. I can't help but grin happily. Tonight was incredible! Everything went the way it was meant to, if not better. As I reach the door, I see a small note on my mat... No. This isn't happening again! Please no! No more A! I don't want to fight anymore

I bend down to pick it up and realise there's a small box underneath

'' What the hell?'' I mutter to myself. I go sit on the swinging bench

I open the box first and my hand immediately goes to my mouth that hangs open.

I feel a wave of pain, sadness and despair wash over me as I slowly take the small necklace with the Mermaid and Eiffel Tower charms out of the box. I feel the tears starting to gather in my eyes and my heart clench as my fingers brush over the engraving at the back. Happy Ending... I guess fairytales really are myths, something we tell children to make them believe that the world is good, that love is something worth fighting for, no matter the obstacles life throws at you... It's never really that simple though... I rub my hand over my face, trying to hold in the inevitable sobs. Why would she do this to me... I don't know what is happening... I feel the betrayal again and the wounds re-opening... Tonight of all nights. I'm still holding the necklace in my hand when I remember the note. Maybe that'll have some form of explanation. I shakily open it but close my eyes, bracing myself for whatever car wreck I'm setting my heart up for. I take a deep breath before opening my eyes again and reading the note:

 

Dear Ali,

First, I'm sorry. I guess this is my final apology for what I did because I understand now that I need to let you move on from me. It isn't fair to you for me to keep trying to hold you back. That being said...

You gave me back my heart that day at the Kissing Rock when you gave me back your Forever. Now I'm giving you back your own heart. You deserve to be with someone who can give you the happy ending you deserve. Maybe Elliot is that person maybe he's not. All I know is I'm setting you and your incredibly beautiful heart free...

We can stay friends but just don't bring this up. I'll come see you guys at graduation.

I promise

-Emily


	61. Epilogue: Graduation Day

Emily's POV

I watch as she gracefully takes the stage, shakes the principal's hand and gives the crowd that ever so beautiful smile she has. Those beautiful teeth surrounded by those luscious, pink and kissable lips... Gosh I miss her so fucking much. There have been times where I just wanted to call her up, beg her to leave him behind, beg her to take me back. But I always came to my senses. The only thing I ever want for her is for her to be happy. From what I saw that night, he makes her happy. I was a cunt. I cheated on her, betrayed her trust. Did the worst thing possible... And I'll regret that for the rest of my life. She was, is the love of my life and no one gets over that. Like ever. She walks off stage, her beautiful curls bouncing on her shoulders... I always wonder what it would be like if I hadn't moved or if I hadn't cheated... Where would we be? What would of become of us? These questions keep me up at night and if they don't, my dreams ask them for me and show me various scenarios. I can't let go and I know I should but I don't have the strength in me to do it. I know I wrote in that letter that I was setting her free but that doesn't mean she doesn't still have a hold on my heart... Day by day I try to pry myself free from her grasp and I'm getting there. Well I was till I came back and saw her.

I watch as one by one my best friends take the stage, receiving their diplomas. I can't help but smile proudly. We've been through so much fucking shit. From Alison's bullying to Alison's disappearance and then death, from A haunting us from the shadows to Alison's safe return and the end of A and then to happiest days of our lives. Messing around, being teenagers, with drama, love, joy, laughter, trips, scandals... The best days I have lived so far where nothing was going wrong all I needed and wanted was the girl of my dreams and my best friends by my side.

 

I open my arms widely as I see my friends come over at the end of the ceremony

'' EM!'' Hanna runs into my arms and immediately hugs me '' Fuck! I've missed you!''

'' I missed you too Han'' I giggle

'' We thought you wouldn't make it'' Caleb says as I remove myself from Hanna's hold and hug him quickly

'' And miss my best friends' graduation?! No way!'' I'd gone a little AWOL since their prom night, not wanting to let anything slip and let them know basically that my heart had been ripped out and that they were unknowingly standing by as it happened. So I get that they might think why I wouldn't show up. ''Loved the speech by the way, Spence!'' I congratulate Spencer as I hug her. She was valedictorian so she made a beautiful speech about over-coming your demons and how there is always a silver lining no matter what. It was honestly beautiful, it actually brought tears to my eyes

'' Hey Aria!'' I wave as I see the short brunette arrive with Jason and another couple '' Hey Jason'' I smile shyly. Ever since the break-up we've grown apart which is a real shame because we were getting along so well. But I guess I deserve it.

'' Hey Emily'' Elliot attempts putting his hand out in front of him

'' Hey Elliot'' I answer dryly '' Alison'' I nod my head at her and she looks at the ground before offering me a small smile

'' Right! So I don't know about you but I'm ready to get wasted!'' Hanna whoops

'' Hanna! My favourite party girl!'' Noel joins in holding hands with Cece... That's new... '' Emily!'' he seems shocked '' Good to see you!'' he hugged me

'' Yeah good to see you too'' I smile as we pull away

'' You'd gone so off grid in the past month, no one thought you'd sh-OW!'' Noel looks at a scowling Cece who had just elbowed him

'' It's fine...'' I dismiss with my hand '' He's right... I'm sorry I haven't been a good friend recently, well haven't been myself rather for the past few months... I think we can all agree I've fucked up on numerous levels'' I throw a side-glance at Ali as Elliot starts to hold her tighter as though threatened by me '' But no more. I'm all about finding Emily again, the girl who put others' happiness before her own. I love you guys, all of you. You're my best friends and I'm proud of how far we've come! Group hug!'' we all wrap our arms around each other and oh! would you look that I'm holding on to Ali, gosh fuck I forgot how right this felt! No! Emily! Remember others before yourself! ''I'm sorry about the screw-ups... I promise'' I feel her tense, again with that word... I really should be more careful '' I promise I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, I'll be right here always'' I squeeze the hug tighter and before releasing everyone I discreetly whisper for her ears only '' And forever''

When we pull away she's blushing like crazy and her eyes seem teary, Elliot looks at her worryingly and she assures him she's fine before she grabs his face and kisses him passionately. I swallow hard before turning away.

'' Em? You okay?'' Toby stops me a hand on my arm

'' Yeah, Toby. I am. It's the emotion of being back and the graduation. That's all'' I grin a little fakely

 

A few hours later, I pull up outside Noel's house early with Aria, Toby and Jason in one car and the others in a car behind us. Cece was already there, Aria told me they started dating after prom night.. Ugh... Cliché! and no I'm not saying that because of what happened. As we all help Noel setup for the party, he suddenly grabs me apart from the group

'' Em, can we talk?''

I look around before nodding and following him out near the lake.

'' What do you want to talk about Noel?'' I ask fully aware of where this was going and clearly he knew too

'' Don't play dumb, Em.'' He shakes his head at the ground before turning his head my way but I keep staring off at the lake '' I get it sucks to see her with someone else and I know it must've killed you when you found out but that's no reason for you to blow off everyone. Hanna might pretend like she's okay with it but she's not. She's the one you're closest to and you not really checking in for a month made her think you thought she'd chosen sides. Plus, you can't be pissed at Al for moving on. Within a month you were dating the girl you cheated on her with! The one you kissed and said it meant nothing!''

'' You don't think I know all this Noel?! You don't think I read every text, listened to every voicemail I got from all of you?! You don't think I tried to reach out?! But what did you want me to say?! I couldn't just randomly be okay with it! I know what I did and I hate myself for it, every damn day Noel!'' I'm almost crying now

'' I'm sorry Em... I didn't mean to, it's just with your speech earlier I thought you were trying something... I didn't want to upset you'' He apologises as he pulls me into a hug

'' It's fine... I get why you might be worried'' I pull away wiping a few stray tears from my cheeks '' But I meant what I said and it was especially meant for her. Her happiness comes before mine, and after what I did and from what I see he makes her happy... So I'm standing down. Ever since I've found out I've been working on moving on and I'm getting there, extremely slowly, but I'm getting there''

'' Whatever you say Emily... Just don't forget we're still your best friends and we want you to tell us when something is wrong''

'' I will next time, don't worry'' I smile at him before looking back out to the lake

'' Right, I'm gonna go make sure everything's done. See you in a bit'' he says before turning away

'' See you later! Oh! And Noel?'' I call out

'' Yeah?'' he turns around

'' Thanks for taking care of her, thanks in general really''

'' No worries Em'' he nods smiling as he shoves his hands in his pockets and heads inside

I stand there for a little just watching the stillness of the water wondering what the hell I've done to deserve these people in my life

'' Em?'' I freeze '' Hey...'' she comes and stands by me our shoulders against each other

'' Um... hi'' I acknowledge her awkwardly

'' I was wondering if we could talk?''

Oh great... Another a talk...

'' Yeah... Um sure.'' We turn and face each other ''What about?''

'' Prom night''

'' No, no, nope, no, nopedy, nope nope'' I shake my head and put my hand up to stop the conversation. She grabbed my hand and put it back down

'' Please, Em. You can't expect me no to. I go to the prom we were meant to attend together, I have a great time, I finally think that maybe getting over you could somehow be possible and then I come back home to a letter that ropes me back in''

'' But it didn't'' I state

'' What?'' she looks at me confused

'' Rope you back in. Otherwise you wouldn't still be with him. You would of broken up with him.''

'' Em...'' she sighs and holds my arm but I instantly pull it back

'' Don't. Just don't Ali'' I pass my hand over my face and through my hair turning away from her towards the water again, hoping to find some sort of calm from it

'' You're not allowed to do this Emily! You're not allowed to make it seem like this is my fault! You dated her! You dated the reason we broke up!'' she yells pushing me '' You're the reason I gave up on us! You gave up on us first!''

'' Maybe I did'' I pause as I look up into her beautiful blue eyes. I feel so much pain and heartbreak, it's like going through the whole past 3 months in one instance and it kills me ''briefly. But I came back Alison. Because that's what you and I do. We find our way back to each other. No matter how bad. That one of us disappears or dies or moves far away. We find our way back. I came back for you that night Ali. I showed up. I was there. I watched on as you slow danced and kissed your boyfriend. I heard my heart break with every word I wrote in that letter. That was the hardest thing for me to do.''

'' Then why? Why did you do it? Why did you let me go? Why didn't you just stay and wait for me?'' she begs me in teary eyed

'' Because what I wrote in the letter, Alison. I'm letting you go dammit! I have let you go!'' I try to make my voice as firm as possible '' I told you not to bring this up didn't I?! I told you to let things be! I told you I was letting you move on! Just take it Alison!''

'' Letting me?!?!?!'' she shrieks in disgust '' I didn't need your fucking permission Emily! That's not what was stopping me!''

'' Yeah, well what was? Huh?'' I retort

'' Oh my fucking God! I can't believe it! I was heartbroken Em! I was fucking depressed! What was stopping me was the fact that no matter how hard I tried to hate you for what you did, I couldn't!'' She spits

I'm taken aback. I dunno what this means am I mean to kiss her? yell at her? what the fuck is happening ???

She takes a step back and wipes her tears away '' But you know what Em, I'm fucking glad you 'let' me go '' she air-quotes '' because truth is I'm much better without you''

'' Woah... Alison... Wait to aim straight for the heart''

'' Sucks doesn't it when the one you love does that to you''

'' Everything alright honey?'' I roll my eyes at the comment as she looks past my shoulder

'' It's all great, love'' she stares at me smirking as I gulp at the use of her old nickname for me on someone else

'' Alison...'' I try but she's already walking past me making sure to hit my shoulder as she goes by

'' Don't. Just don't Emily.'' she shakes her head and keeps walking.

'' There's a reason I didn't want us to talk about it...'' I yell after her

'' Yeah well now we've cleared the air we can go back to how things were, friend'' she yells back not turning around

'' Alison! I'm sorry!''

'' Stop fucking apologising! It's annoying and pointless now!'' she finally faces me as she's halfway to the cabin where everyone is watching on

'' Tell me how I can make it right then''

'' You were right. I shouldn't have brought it up. But I'm sorry I had to, I needed answers. And now that I got them we're gonna go try to find our way back to being friends because that's the only way you and me seem to work.''

'' Are you sure that's what you want, Princess?'' I call out to her using the nickname I know makes her melt. She freezes for a second, looking at me wide-eyed

'' Positive.'' she nods

'' Okay then''

'' Good.''

'' Good!''

'' Fine.''

'' Fine!''

''Ugh!'' she grunts going into the cabin pulling a surprised Elliot by the hand

'' AAAGH!'' I scream as I pick a pebble and throw it in the lake

A couple hours had gone by and the party was well under way. No one had said anything about what they'd witnessed and I was glad. Truth be told, there was nothing to say. Alison and I are friends. Great. The best fucking day of my life. I'm thrilled. Sincerely. Now here I am talking to some hot girl about Texas. I have no idea who the fuck she is but I'm wasted and feeling extra horny tonight.

'' Listen, Amy right?'' I squint hesitant about her name

'' Uh huh!'' she nods quickly. I have a strong feeling she's not the sharpest tool in the shed

'' How about we go someplace more private?'' I suggest

'' Okay'' she licks her lips before sexily biting the bottom one

'' Cool'' I grin mischievously as I get up and grab her hand leading her away from the couch and upstairs to the room Noel was lending me for the night. Although I'm not sure that included a guest but whatever, it's not like I was gonna sleep with her. We were just gonna make out heavily and then when the party ended she'd leave

As we head towards the stairs, I turn to see Alison looking right at me with Elliot's arm around her waist. The moment our eyes meet she twists in his arms and grabs him in a powerful kiss. Gosh that seems disgusting. I shake my head slightly and start climbing the stairs, Amy in tow. As we start making our way up I meet Hanna's gaze for a second and she just shakes her head in disappointment. And that's when what I'm about to do hits me. No, Em keep yourself together. I push Amy into the room and start making out with pretending I don't have a care in the world even if a million things are going on right now. As we keep going and we're grinding on the bed, the look on Ali's face when she first saw me of hurt and anger and then Hanna looking at me like I had the worst thing possible. I was doing what i promised I wouldn't be someone other than who I was but then again wasn't I entitled to that when half of who I am left me? I didn't know anymore but I knew I was no longer in the mood to party

'' Sorry Amy, you're going to have to leave'' I say getting off of her

'' What? Why?''

'' I think I'm coming down with something and I wouldn't want to give it you'' I lie

'' Oh'' she says obviously not buying it '' Okay, I'll go then'' she gets up and runs out of the room

I fall back onto the bed. What the fucking kind of mess have you put yourself into Emily? You're a fucking idiot.

I guess promises are made to be broken.


End file.
